The Powder Room is Now Ladies Only. But I LIKE Talking To Ladies!

[LizzieMaine]

I'm only going to rehash this once. The women of the Lounge have voted to make the Powder Room women's only. There is a long history of harassment of women by men in the Lounge, both in threads and thru private messaging, and after years of trying to control this problem thru moderation, the women of the Lounge made it clear that the problem was still a major issue, interfering with their ability to use and enjoy the Lounge.

The vote has been taken, the change has been made. The fact that you and I are discussing this here and now is plenty of proof that co-ed conversation has in no way been compromised by this change. Men and women have plenty of opportunity to discuss matters of common interest. But Lounge women who do not wish to participate in such discussions can also enjoy the Lounge in areas set aside for women only.

A real gentleman would nod and accept that not all women wish to share in his company, and would simply move on.

 

[LuvMyMan]

There was one fellow that worked for my Husband, doing some finish work on an office complex building. This fellow had just recently been arrested (very truthful here) for having a goat for his girlfriend. He hated women. Oddly, his Mother hated men. This fellow was not kept on the job. I am however, firmly thinking he would have loved to belong to the "old goats" club....lol!

 

[HudsonHawk]

There's a reason that most forum software has the facility for "secret", invisible, invite only or selectively available rooms.

Principly the prevention of silly arguments.

You guys have a Ministry of Silly Arguments other there, don't you?

 

[Matt Crunk]

My biggest question is why men would want to venture into the Powder Room in the first place? What, besides the ladies themselves, is in there that would hold a man's interest?

Frankly, I'm truly shocked and dismayed that there has been a harassment problem here in The Lounge. I honestly had no idea that was happening, and would not have thought that of men who consider themselves gentlemen, as most loungers do.

As far as guys having their own "For Men Only" section, I personally don't feel that necessary at all. We men already have the majority of this forum, areas that hold little interest for women. And if they do want to venture into "our" domains from time to time, so what?

That said, if you insist on creating a men only section, I'd suggest calling it The Barbershop, which traditionally had been a social gathering spot for men only, especially in the golden age. Just my two cents.

 

[countryclubjoe]

My biggest question is why men would want to venture into the Powder Room in the first place? What, besides the ladies themselves, is in there that would hold a man's interest? Did I just not read a post in the powder room from you?

Frankly, I'm truly shocked and dismayed that there has been a harassment problem here in The Lounge. I honestly had no idea that was happening, and would not have thought that of men who consider themselves gentlemen, as most loungers do. Quit possibly if the harassed woman came forward with their complaints and challenged and exposed the scoundrel's for the cowards that they are, the real gentleman on this board would have lent some assistance...

As far as guys having their own "For Men Only" section, I personally don't feel that necessary at all. We men already have the majority of this forum, areas that hold little interest for women. And if they do want to venture into "our" domains from time to time, so what?

That said, if you insist on creating a men only section, I'd suggest calling it The Barbershop, which traditionally had been a social gathering spot for men only, especially in the golden age. Just my two cents.

Men only and Woman only, should only apply when Nature calls, hence, Men's rooms and Woman's rooms. On an open public forum where folks are discussing their particular interest and exchanging ideas, and thoughts on that interest, there should be no gender room only applied.

My .02

CCJ

 

[Shangas]

CCJ, from what I gather, the women were uncomfortable with sexist and mysoginistic comments posted by male members in the Powder Room. I've never seen any of these such comments myself, and I certainly have never posted them. So I can't vouch for their existence.

 

[countryclubjoe]

Like I mentioned in a previous post. If some of the lady members were being harassed by some male members on this board, they have a responsible to report said male members and expose said male members for their misogynist behavior. Creating a rule to punish everyone for the sake of a few ignorant, hateful scum bags, only punishes the innocent and shields the guilty. I am a proud Father of two beautiful Daughters and I have advised them that we live in a tough world and everyone is not you're friend. I also advised them that if they are abused or harassed in any threatening matter, that they should come forward and state their issue, not to hide from it or bury their head in the sand.
Evil folks only strive when good folks stand by and do nothing.
If harmful threatening emails or text messages were send to anyone on this thread, they should come forward with said email or text message and expose the person that is guilt of such behavior. Grouping all males together and insinuating that we are all guilty of being misogynistic is insulting to all of us that are respectful to woman and respectful to everyone in general.

My .02

Regards

CCJ

 

[The Good]

I understand this perfectly well. I don't have an interest in posting there, but I'll be mindful of this.

 

[Smithy]

Like I mentioned in a previous post. If some of the lady members were being harassed by some male members on this board, they have a responsible to report said male members and expose said male members for their misogynist behavior. Creating a rule to punish everyone for the sake of a few ignorant, hateful scum bags, only punishes the innocent and shields the guilty. I am a proud Father of two beautiful Daughters and I have advised them that we live in a tough world and everyone is not you're friend. I also advised them that if they are abused or harassed in any threatening matter, that they should come forward and state their issue, not to hide from it or bury their head in the sand.
Evil folks only strive when good folks stand by and do nothing.
If harmful threatening emails or text messages were send to anyone on this thread, they should come forward with said email or text message and expose the person that is guilt of such behavior. Grouping all males together and insinuating that we are all guilty of being misogynistic is insulting to all of us that are respectful to woman and respectful to everyone in general.

My .02

Regards

CCJ

Mate if I was you, I'd give it a rest. You've expressed your opinion, now perhaps leave it at that.

I'd imagine there's a number of subjects in the PR such as bras and knickers and things like that which I would think the female members might wish to discuss in comfort without prying male eyes. TBH I really can't understand why any bloke would feel hard done by with not being allowed to go into the PR. Personally I have no urge nor have I, to go in there and I believe they will have a sub-forum for male members who wish to ask the females opinion about female issues.

At the end of the day, the FL was never a democracy, it's a private forum and as such can make its own rules. Those who feel entirely incensed by any proclamations by management can always do what the esteemed and highly active member JWalford did, and take their leave.

Really though, I think the majority of male members here couldn't give a fig if a large chunk of the PR is closed to us, well I certainly don't. If it makes the female members happy and feel more comfortable to post about some sensitive feminine issues, good job I say.

 

[countryclubjoe]

Mate if I was you, I'd give it a rest. You've expressed your opinion, now perhaps leave it at that.

I'd imagine there's a number of subjects in the PR such as bras and knickers and things like that which I would think the female members might wish to discuss in comfort without prying male eyes. TBH I really can't understand why any bloke would feel hard done by with not being allowed to go into the PR. Personally I have no urge nor have I, to go in there and I believe they will have a sub-forum for male members who wish to ask the females opinion about female issues.

At the end of the day, the FL was never a democracy, it's a private forum and as such can make its own rules. Those who feel entirely incensed by any proclamations by management can always do what the esteemed and highly active member JWalford did, and take their leave.

Really though, I think the majority of male members here couldn't give a fig if a large chunk of the PR is closed to us, well I certainly don't. If it makes the female members happy and feel more comfortable to post about some sensitive feminine issues, good job I say.

First off I am not you're Mate, you are permitted to address me as CCJ and I will address you as Smithy. Now Smithy, I am a big grown up fellow and I don't need anyone telling me to give any issue a rest or that I should cease and desist with my opinions on an issue.
I have not insulted anyone, I have not disrespected anyone. I simply posed the question of which I have not received a reply.
The question is, What is the upside for the site to have a Woman's Only Thread? How do all the members benefit from this rule?
Why do in part to a few scum bag disrespectful male members should all the respectful gentleman be barred from posting their opinions, or comments in the aforementioned closed to males thread? Another issue I have is that the so called evil doers are still out here among us and not being exposed and are being afforded the right to post in threads of their choice while going along undetected as woman abusers among us.
So no, I am not arguing that I cannot post in the PR, I am arguing that male members are being unjustly profiled as misogynist and barred from participating in a tread that is part of the lounge simply because the abused or harassed woman did not come forward and expose the harassers.
My .02
CCJ

 

[Baron Kurtz]

The question is, What is the upside for the site to have a Woman's Only Thread?

More of the women members will stick around/post more.

How do all the members benefit from this rule?

More of the women members will stick around/post more.

So no, I am not arguing that I cannot post in the PR, I am arguing that male members are being unjustly profiled as misogynist and barred from participating in a tread that is part of the lounge simply because the abused or harassed woman did not come forward and expose the harassers.

In fact it's because female FLoungers did come forward to the bartenders to expose abusers that this has come to pass. The issue came to a head recently because men could not respect even threads including a "Women Only" title. Those same men then obfuscate and suggest that they can't "believe" that their posts (apparently "compliments") were considered inappropriate (i.e. them gals they must just be over-reacting … again!) and removed. I think that there's no-one here that really believes it's the best solution to segregate sections of FLounge, but it has become the best bad solution available.

p.s. being Antipodean of the New Zealand/Australian variety, Smithy uses the term "Mate", as we would "Sir". No disrespect intended.

 

[Flat Foot Floey]

Haha. You* really want to go through all this again? I can assure you it will make things worse if you keep denying the problem. No empathy or willingness to listen to the other side whatsoever? But if some of you insist of making a fool of themselves...go on.

I congratulate the powder room to the fair vote and discussion. I happen to have read a few opinions on facebook and there where LOTS of ladies who stopped posting some time ago. If some of them come back it was worth the trouble.

* this was a general "you". Bk was spot on, of course.

 

[Smithy]

First off I am not you're Mate, you are permitted to address me as CCJ and I will address you as Smithy.

Actually in my part of the world that's a common and convivial way to address another fellow. Though with your particularly rude response thanks for making it clear you just happen to be a rude little fellow at that.

Now Smithy, I am a big grown up fellow and I don't need anyone telling me to give any issue a rest or that I should cease and desist with my opinions on an issue.
I have not insulted anyone, I have not disrespected anyone. I simply posed the question of which I have not received a reply.
The question is, What is the upside for the site to have a Woman's Only Thread? How do all the members benefit from this rule?
Why do in part to a few scum bag disrespectful male members should all the respectful gentleman be barred from posting their opinions, or comments in the aforementioned closed to males thread? Another issue I have is that the so called evil doers are still out here among us and not being exposed and are being afforded the right to post in threads of their choice while going along undetected as woman abusers among us.
So no, I am not arguing that I cannot post in the PR, I am arguing that male members are being unjustly profiled as misogynist and barred from participating in a tread that is part of the lounge simply because the abused or harassed woman did not come forward and expose the harassers.
My .02
CCJ

I'd say that doggedly belabouring your point will neither change the decision nor ingratiate yourself to the women who made the decision nor probably the bartenders who keep this place in check. Perhaps it might be best to quietly accept our female members decision with good grace even if you don't necessarily agree with it.

 

[Smithy]

p.s. being Antipodean of the New Zealand/Australian variety, Smithy uses the term "Mate", as we would "Sir". No disrespect intended.

Thanks BK

 

[Baron Kurtz]

No probs, mate.

 

[Flat Foot Floey]

Just on the practical side I suggest we use the "golden era" forum for topics that will interest both genders. The everyday women of the golden age topic could have a sister thread there for snapshots?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Just on the practical side I suggest we use the "golden era" forum for topics that will interest both genders. The everyday women of the golden age topic could have a sister thread there for snapshots?

That's a fine idea. The Golden Era and other general-interest sections have always been and will always be areas where topics of general interest are posted and discussed by anyone who wants to post and discuss them.

As far as benefits to the Lounge are concerned, the fact that a number of much-missed female Loungers have returned and are posting again since the vote is benefit enough for me.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Was the change publicised at all? I know an email was sent out, but I don't do Faceplant or any of them things, so I wouldn't know. If not, this might be useful to get even more of the old female FLoungers to return.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The announcement of the vote was put out on Facebook, and there was a lot of discussion of it on individual members' Facebook pages. The email was unfortunately sent out with an incorrect date for the closing -- that was my mistake, I was looking at the wrong line on the calendar when I drafted the text (it happens when you reach a certain age) -- and I didn't notice the mistake until after the poll had closed. We had announced May 8th for the close of the vote in the voting thread itself and on Facebook.

I imagine, from the number of women who've returned to the Lounge in the last few days, that word is getting out and around.

 

[scotrace]

As far as benefits to the Lounge are concerned, the fact that a number of much-missed female Loungers have returned and are posting again since the vote is benefit enough for me.

Amen.