The Lost Art of Manliness

[Carlisle Blues]

Carlisle Blues: "Please we all have challenges in life some we overcome some we succumb to. There is the strength: the commitment to see things through no matter what . To triumph over our own doubts; doubts about self or the situation, to have the equanimity and faith that what was placed in my path is worth fighting for whether is be my health, a relationship or the rights of another. And in the end if we fail to overcome to resiliency to bounce back not to quit. There are always solutions."

First of all - I have enjoyed reading your many replies in this thread and agree whole heartedly to the above.

I could say that my biggest challenge was living alone (still am) with Fibromyalgia, Sciatica, and CFS - and somehow managing to take care of things and in the meantime find better ways to help my health - which I did - I have not been on painkillers or anti-depressants since 2004-05 and my dr., in 2007, said that I am now Fibromyalgia free (nor do I have the Sciatica anymore).

It is more than wonderful to have read your uplifting message Carlisle Blues. Even now as I deal with CFS still - I am still looking to take care of it as much as possible.

I have never had a positive male role model in my life - and essentially never had a 'family' as it is commonly known. I've had people care for me, but in essence, I was pretty much on my own with many things - and it was nice to meet the occasional person who was supportive of me along that time in my path.

Thank you very much Prien....you are a power of example!!!!

 

[Carlisle Blues]

Thanks for the thoughtful and inspiring post.

Just curious, do you own the book, or have you checked it out? The reason I ask is that I too did not have a father/male role model in the house when I was growing up. Even though I'm full grown man now, I still enjoy books such as the one under discussion for little aphorisms, quotes, etc. Not "rules" to live by per se, just interesting food for thought IMHO.

I do not own the book. I have thoroughly and thoughtfully looked into it at length. In my opinion my "manhood" is always under development. Before I had my own boy I would help children whose father's were not present in their lives. I would act in a sense as a surrogate and assist where I could. Whether it be music, legal assistance or just being there as an interested person to lend a hand or an ear.

I am open minded as to where I get any information regarding this topic. I take what works, leave what does not and I know what may work today may not work tomorrow. So a book like this is something that I know is available should it be necessary to use. To me being honest, open-minded and willing are the keys to just about anything where I have been successful...

 

[MisterCairo]

Boy, it didn't take long for the trolls to hijack this thread. Did you even bother to take a look at the book?

If you're not going to add anything constructive to the conversation, maybe you should keep your unnecessary comments to yourself? They're not in the spirit of the Fedora Lounge.

When you find your sense of humour, let me know.

Also, when you're a bartender, you can decide for me and other members what we may or may not post.

 

[MisterCairo]

Do you want to lock the thread until we have all had time to peruse the book in question? [huh]

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[reetpleat]

Like a child, a threadbecomeswhat it will, and we have littlecontrol over it. But often, hopefully, the thread becomes what it should, or becomes something far more interesting and unexpected than the intended. Of course, in some places on the web, threads can quickly degenerate into thugs and all around dissapointments to their creators. But thankfully, this forum, thanks to the hardwork of founder and bartenders, is a place where threads can blossom, like a hippie kid in a commune.

 

[Foofoogal]

I have been reading that there is the largest generation gap ever lately.
In values and the way people see things in general.
This thread has cemented it for me.
I am even tempted to leave FL for good after it.
I am not leaving as I have been here forever but definitely will be coming here less.
I don't want a place with clones but just do not feel as comfortable as I once did so will personally be keeping a lower profile.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

RE Vintage68: You're Welcome. No, I have not read the book or even scanned through it.

RE Carlisle Blues: You're Welcome ...and Thanks for the supportive compliment.

I had also noticed that some others brought up good insightful points - for example someone mentioned transgenderism and the XY chromosomes.

There are those women who are XY, but have Androgen Insenstivity Syndrome and therefore are biologically male, but appear as female.

Also - with transgenderism, this, from what I have read, is caused by the body not receiving a signal from the brain while developing in utero to switch to that designated sex (while we are developing in utero we have both male and female organs).

And too...what of those who are born Intersexed?

I also enjoyed reading Reetpleat's replies of embracing both 'feminine' and 'masculine' "aspects" or "energies" of ourselves. He mentioned about those guys feeling that, in essence, heaven forbid they dress decently.

Where I live in rural Pennsylvania - people have wondered if I'm gay because I dress decently. It is as though dressing decently and good grooming make you a 'meterosexual' and gay for some reason.

[huh]

 

[Martinis at 8]

I was in Laredo, Texas a few days ago...

I like to stay at the La Posada Hotel. It's a very historic hotel. Originally a convent, and then Laredo's first high school. It's the best hotel in Laredo IMO, and I think it qualifies as "Vintage" at least in a Spanish sort of way.

There is a very nice steakhouse with a nice oak bar as part of the hotel complex. It is called The Tack Room. I happen to be in the bar where a quasi happy hour gets started after my arrival. I keep to myself as I have my drink and look at the menu to order something to eat. The place seems to be a lawyer hangout. Men in suits, etc. I am in jeans, a long-sleeved black t-shirt with a leather fashion-type motorcycle jacket on.

The lawyers are talking rather loudly about how good it is to be "back in court" because they have to "work so hard in the office" (I didn't know office work could be so hard). The ladies at the happy hour seem intrigued by the lawyer talk, well maybe. They are also discussing a trial (which I find unusual being that we are in a public place). However, the trial discussion also seems to interest the ladies, maybe. These guys are poser-braggarts, lawyers or not.

One of these posers moves next to me at the bar to order a drink from the bartender.

Lawyer: Excuse me (in a smug sort of way).
M8: No problem (he then orders his drink).
Lawyer: You from here?
M8: No, just passing through Laredo. Probably be stuck here for a day due to the bad weather.
Lawyer: Oh you are hotel guest?
M8: Yep.
Lawyer: Why would bad weather force you to stay here? You a pilot?
M8: No I am on a motorcycle, I'm riding back from Mexico, headed back to Houston.
Lawyer: Oh, I see (and then he moves on).
Sandra: Excuse me, I overheard your were on a motorcycle in Mexico. Hi, my name is Sandra.
M8: Hi Sandra my name is Mike.
Sandra: So tell me about riding in Mexico.
M8: Okay, well...
Sandra: Hey Maria come over here! That girl-talk from those lawyers is boring as Hell.

(Yeppers, the Lost Art of Manliness lol )

 

[R.A. Stewart]

Good for you, and for Sandra (and I don't even ride!). :eusa_clap

Nothing against lawyers, by the way. I sometimes wish I'd gone to law school instead of library school, and made something of myself. But braggarts and posers ... yeah, plenty against them.

~Rich

 

[celtic]

yes, but wouldn't a 'real man' have ridden his motorcycle in the bad weather?

(i'm just making fun do to my being bitter ~ my bike is sitting in my garage...I need a new battery and decided it would be silly to put a brand new one just in time to sit for 3-4 months due to the upcoming snow and road salt)

 

[Fletch]

Hate to pop your bubble here, M8, but the ladies may simply have been taking you for yet another media stereotype.

To illustrate: can you imagine them coming over to you from a table of jacket-and-jeans d'bags if you were all by yourself in tweeds and had just stepped out of a '47 MG TC?

 

[Martinis at 8]

yes, but wouldn't a 'real man' have ridden his motorcycle in the bad weather?

Lol! There are bold pilots and there are old pilots, but there are no bold and old pilots.

(i'm just making fun do to my being bitter ~ my bike is sitting in my garage...I need a new battery and decided it would be silly to put a brand new one just in time to sit for 3-4 months due to the upcoming snow and road salt)

Winter prep is always a downer. One of the great things about living here in Texas is we can pretty much ride year-round. May the sun shine soon for you!

 

[Martinis at 8]

Hate to pop your bubble here, M8, but the ladies may simply have been taking you for yet another media stereotype.

To illustrate: can you imagine them coming over to you from a table of jacket-and-jeans d'bags if you were all by yourself in tweeds and had just stepped out of a '47 MG TC?

LMAO! Nice try Fletch! But somehow I think you missed the relevance of the conversation being discussed by the posers lol

 

[celtic]

Lol! There are bold pilots and there are old pilots, but there are no bold and old pilots.

heck, If I refused to ride in all the bad weather here in upstate NY, I wouldn't have a bike lol

Winter prep is always a downer. One of the great things about living here in Texas is we can pretty much ride year-round. May the sun shine soon for you!

hence the bitterness and my willingness to pick on you!

 

[Martinis at 8]

Good for you, and for Sandra (and I don't even ride!). :eusa_clap

You forgot Maria!

Nothing against lawyers, by the way. I sometimes wish I'd gone to law school instead of library school, and made something of myself. But braggarts and posers ... yeah, plenty against them.

~Rich

Lawyers are okay. Got plenty of them in the family. Poser-braggart types, different story. Apparently Sandra and Maria didn't share the same Master of the Universe perspective a-la Tom Wolfe that the posers did.

Yeppers, the lost art of manliness. Too funny! lol

Now watch the haters start responding. Pretty soon I'll be accused of trolling. No wonder McKay has found a market.

 

[Martinis at 8]

heck, If I refused to ride in all the bad weather here in upstate NY, I wouldn't have a bike lol

Where you at? I used to be in that prison right next to Highland Falls!

 

[celtic]

Where you at? I used to be in that prison right next to Highland Falls!

i'm actually central NY, I work right in Syracuse and live in a burb north of there.

to be fair, though...my goretex coat and overpants I wear in the cold and rain ain't too sexy or 'manly' looking...

 

[Fletch]

M8: I don't know. Sandra gravitated to you because she heard the words motorcycle and Mexico and, presumably, looked over and saw leather and jeans.

That's a positive image and pulls more "man points" than the trial-lawyer-in-boxy-suit stereotype, but one reason it does is that it too can be seen as a stereotype, however you intend it.

If I may argue the devil's advocate view for a bit and be a gender essentialist: Feminine women crave security. Masculine stereotypes promise security. They think they know what to make of you, so it makes them feel secure.

 

[Paisley]

For some reason, I just thought of how all the ladies went ga-ga over Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

 

[Martinis at 8]

For some reason, I just thought of how all the ladies went ga-ga over Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Yeah, but that was fiction.