The loss of occasion

[StanleyVanBuren]

So people shouldn't go if they can't afford dressy clothes?

Even someone who is dirt poor can still go to a thrift store and find a pair of slacks for very little money. There are options at pretty much any income level. So no, I don't think lack of money is an excuse.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

Even someone who is dirt poor can still go to a thrift store and find a pair of slacks for very little money. There are options at pretty much any income level. So no, I don't think lack of money is an excuse.

Guess you have never been in the position where your last 10 bucks has to go into the gas tank....to get you to work the next day.....so that you can actually work until the next paycheck.

I envy you.

 

[jamespowers]

This probably (at least partially) explains why the church will be packed on Christmas and Easter with people only seen twice a year, and all dressed up.

Yep, that's the case here as well. We ushers brace for the impact of a full church when these occasions come about. I am glad they come though. We make them feel as welcome as possible so they might come back some other regular Sunday.
This also reminds me of a dinner I had with a friend a few weeks ago. He invited the wife and I out so I dressed for the occasion. That meant a three piece charcoal suit for me. He said I looked like a banker. I say when you ask me to dinner, no matter where it is, I come dressed as it is a sign of respect and appreciation for being invited. In many european countries, it is a sign of disrespect to show up to someone's home for dinner dressed inappropriately.

Regards,

J

 

[jamespowers]

Even someone who is dirt poor can still go to a thrift store and find a pair of slacks for very little money. There are options at pretty much any income level. So no, I don't think lack of money is an excuse.

Yep, my $16 tuxedo can attest to that.

Regards,

J

 

[StanleyVanBuren]

Today, it is the person who points out unacceptable behavior who is often chastised, as opposed to the person who is engaged in the unacceptable behavior.

While I'm not a fan of unacceptable behavior, I don't see this as a bad thing. I think unacceptable behavior speaks for itself and reflects poorly upon the individual who commits it.

Whenever I see such things, I keep them to myself and at most, will joke with friends in private about them later. I don't see these people as deserving of my help, and I think it would be more impolite for me to inject myself into their affairs than to just ignore them and move on.

A friend of mine was having a birthday dinner at a restaurant the other day, and an acquaintance of hers showed up in a t-shirt and gym shorts. A couple of my friends were rather appalled by such gross misconduct. While I was tempted to ask this newcomer if he found it an uncomfortably hot day, we all agreed it was better to not openly confront the guy as doing so would be more rude than the conduct itself.

Or for an analogy, someone recently interviewed at my firm for a law clerk position. This person was in the top 5% of his class but had a misspelling on his resume -- he apparently received a "Batchelor of Science" degree in undergrad. He was not hired. We could have told him about the mistake, but then we'd be doing the next person he interviewed with a disservice by artificially inflating his chances by fixing a mistake he should have noticed himself.

I know this approach might seem dickish, but on the whole, I think its worse to go around pointing out people's mistakes.

Now if someone openly solicits my advice, that's a different story.

 

[Miss Brill]

Even someone who is dirt poor can still go to a thrift store and find a pair of slacks for very little money. There are options at pretty much any income level. So no, I don't think lack of money is an excuse.

But what if they have no reason to have any and then someone dies & all of a sudden they have a funeral to go to? Should they just stay home so people don't think badly of them? I couldn't imagine feeling like I should judge people for how they are dressed, much less scoffing at a funeral.

 

[StanleyVanBuren]

But what if they have no reason to have any and then someone dies & all of a sudden they have a funeral to go to? Should they just stay home so people don't think badly of them? I couldn't imagine feeling like I should judge people for how they are dressed, much less scoffing at a funeral.

Again I think we're back to the same problem with modern society -- that some think it perfectly acceptable to go through life without ever owning anything more than t-shirts and jeans.

The problem with your hypothetical is that it looks only at a sliver of time in which someone could be completely up against the wall with their finances.

But if we were to expand this to encompass the person's entire adult life, and expect people to, at some point, purchase at least one pair of slacks and one dress shirt, even from a thrift store if necessary, in anticipation of events such as funerals, it is not so unreasonable -- even for the person whose job only ever requires the t-shirt and jeans.
(sorry for the run-on)

We could be looking at a mere $5-10 expenditure here, and even someone earning minimum wage can spare $5-10 sooner or later.

If you really want to get extreme, I guess we could talk about the homeless; I suppose I'll make an exception for them. If a homeless person wants to attend a funeral, I'm ok with them wearing whatever they want.

But I assume we're speaking generally about the majority of society and not extreme cases.

 

[jamespowers]

But if we were to expand this to encompass the person's entire adult life, and expect people to, at some point, purchase at least one pair of slacks and one dress shirt, even from a thrift store if necessary, in anticipation of events such as funerals, it is not so unreasonable -- even for the person whose job only ever requires the t-shirt and jeans.

Good point. There once was a time when my grandparents might have been poor but they certainly didn't want to look poor. It was all a state of mind and respect for yourself, your appearance and those around you.

Regards,

J

 

[Miss Neecerie]

The problem with your hypothetical is that it looks only at a sliver of time in which someone could be completely up against the wall with their finances.

Erm....

In 2005, 37.0 million people were in poverty, not statistically different from 2004.

Thats 12% of the population that are up against that wall. All the time.

Pointless trying to change people who only ever wish with all their heart to find fault in others.


http://www.census.gov/hhes/www/poverty/


May I suggest that perhaps those people are worried, and quite rightly so, about -eating- and getting to work...



Of course they should go buy some slacks....that would improve their life....



Pointless to discuss...with people who only ever wish to find fault with others...

 

[Miss Brill]

Again I think we're back to the same problem with modern society -- that some think it perfectly acceptable to go through life without ever owning anything more than t-shirts and jeans.

But why decide there is something wrong with jeans & t-shirts and be offended? Who are we to be offended? What if the jeans cost $200 and the simple t-shirt is cashmere? You meet rich people every day & you don't know it because of the way they are dressed. You meet poor people every day & you don't know it because of the way they are dressed. I'd never assign value to clothes. You can't tell who or what a person is based on their clothes.

 

[Lady Day]

So people shouldn't go if they can't afford dressy clothes?

Wow, talk about taking what I said way out of context.

As far as I know, most people throughout this country have been raised with a 'good' pair of paints, and 'play' paints. They were items that you saved and wore for occasions that mattered.

Being comfortable at all times has trumped being approperate, no matter your income.

LD

 

[Miss Brill]

Erm....

In 2005, 37.0 million people were in poverty, not statistically different from 2004.

Thats 12% of the population that are up against that wall. All the time.

Pointless trying to change people who only ever wish with all their heart to find fault in others.


http://www.census.gov/hhes/www/poverty/


May I suggest that perhaps those people are worried, and quite rightly so, about -eating- and getting to work...



Of course they should go buy some slacks....that would improve their life....



Pointless to discuss...with people who only ever wish to find fault with others...

Great points! If people don't need something 99% of their lives, when would they think about it? I know bricklayers & construction workers who shop for their work clothes in thrift stores, but do they go browse in the "slacks"? No. When would they need dress pants & why spend money on something you don't think you'll ever wear?

 

[Johnnysan]

Being comfortable at all times has trumped being approperate, no matter your income.

THAT is the point! :eusa_clap

 

[Zig2k143]

I understand there are a lot of people who are worried about eating and getting to the next paycheck. The issue usually aren't these people... These people usually care about how they look and they at least have one decent outfit.

The people who I really have no use for are the ones that instead of buying the things they need when they have the money they go out and buy other things like beer or they go out and party.

Living in NY I would drive by the projects and see all these very expensives cars parked in the lot. I would stand in line at the supermarket and wait behind people with fur coats and gold and diamonds around their neck. When it comes time to pay the pull out food stamps.

They would rather buy nice cars and jewerly and have the rest of us pay for them to live and eat.

Those are the people that really burn me...

 

[Miss Neecerie]

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.”


“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” Dale Carnegie


“He that would live in peace and at ease, Must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees” Benjamin Franklin


“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa




Oh wait......They must not have meant clothes....or other's intent...

 

[Johnnysan]

"Class is most apparant in its complete absence." - Johnnysan

...just goes to show you that there are quotes to support every position.

 

[Jovan]

I'm tempted to quote Steve Stifler from American Wedding (who quoted someone else), but I'm afraid it would be inappropriate. lol

 

[Lady Day]

"Staying on topic of 'The Loss of Occasion', makes the thread fun for all." Lady Day

 

[Jovan]

"The sign of a true pomposity in the making is when a man begins quoting himself."
-James Wolcott

 

[Johnnysan]

OUCH! lol lol lol

P.S. - Welcome back!