The Holiday Party: Rude or Inept Guests?

[HeyMoe]

Its not vintage, but I guarantee that this will work on ANY offender and will quickly ensure compliance with proper ettiquette from the other guests

Mmmmmm pain compliance.......

 

[sheeplady]

I reorganized my living room after discovering that putting the buffet (I lay out snacks and desserts here) next to cheaper furniture helped me to perserve some of my better pieces, as people didn't tend to use my best piece of furniture as dirty napkin and wet glass storage. Essentially I redesigned the room after watching what guests did. I also cover better tables in objects to prevent people from leaving yucky things on them, and I liter every other piece with so many coasters there is no choice but to use one, or else you've have to move a coaster. (I own 60 coasters, at least.)

I have to say, though, that I have been a guest and spilled food before, much to my embarrassment. Accidents happen. While I don't like people who are totally abusive towards my property or rude; if you host parties things will get broken and small messes will be made. I've got enough vintage dishes that are cracked and chipped to prove that people broke things back then.

I collect both glass and china, and most of the people I invite know that. Therefore they are careful because you don't mess with "antiques." But what I mostly collect are pieces that I am collecting to be used, and I buy them knowing they could be broken- I might even be the one to break them.

 

[Connery]

A party by committee has always done the trick where a few close friends would act as tacit co-hosts and tactfully suggest a plate or napkin with a smile while starting a brief discussion on the finer points of a vintage home. Fun for all and interesting small talk.

 

[Gregg Axley]

Great ideas on this thread! Friends or a professional staff, both seem logical to me.
Then again Hey Moe's suggestion came to mind before I read it. Along with yelling "those who spill crumbs and drink please step out back and eat in the yard!"
Wow Undertow that was quick. LOL
I grew up where we used little plates, napkins for wiping the mouth or holding food, or it goes in your lap if you are at a table.
Yeah, I've seen a lot of people that don't have manners and never will. I also wonder what their house looks like.

 

[Tomasso]

You can also employ your children for assisting with hosting responsibilities. At family parties my siblings and I were responsible for greeting guests, taking coats, fetching drinks, emptying ashtrays...... and looking out for the house in general.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

You can always banish the worst offenders to the "children's table*" -- i.e. garage or patio.

*even if there are no kids.

 

[Miss Golightly]

Wonderful suggestions from C-Dot and Miss Sofia! I really can't get over the disrespect some people show when invited into another person's home - arriving totally blotto is just not acceptable - seriously, have you not had enough sauce that evening already?!

 

[sheeplady]

As a hostess, I have no problem being "rude" to people over alcohol. Yes, I will take everyone's keys if I am serving and people are driving home that night. Yes, I will stop a person from driving home if I believe that they are drunk. Yes, I will call the police if despite my best efforts the drunk person gets behind the wheel. I've got no problem with people getting drunk (unless they are drinking to true excess or addicted). People who come to my house know that this is my policy when they are invited- you have a driver or have to stay the night.

If someone came to a party already soused, I'd assume they have a drinking problem.

 

[HeyMoe]

An example of today's society: I was in the parking lot of a local store last night sending a work email (was meeting my wife there and was doing a bit of work before she arrived) when a white car pulled into the spot next to me. As they were getting out the lady in the passenger seat hit the car next to thier car with her door hard enough that it rocked the car. Both of them got out and were laughing about the damage that they did to this very new looking car (huge dent in the right fender). Both of them walked into the store still laughing.

Inside, I saw them again and they made rude comments about my fedora, other people in front of them in line and were just plain boorish.

I followed them out where they again laughed at the car, got in and drove away after flipping me off (to which I smiled and waved with all my fingers). Not only was I shocked by thier behavior, I was rather saddened to see that they were in thier mid to late 30s and had thier children with them. Of course I had helped thier cause out earlier by leaving my business card with a note to call me and the licence plate of the offending vehicle under the damaged car's wiper blade.

I am reporting this story because I am seeing this type of behavior more and more here in sleepy Vermont and often times it is parents with children in tow. I can only imagine the lack of respect these children are growing up with (I won't even begin the relay stories my wife has reported as a teacher). I am sure that in larger communities this type of behavior is even more common. So it is little wonder to me that guests act like boorish pigs at parties because, as a society, we have condoned this type of behavior by tolerating it in our communities.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

As a hostess, I have no problem being "rude" to people over alcohol. Yes, I will take everyone's keys if I am serving and people are driving home that night. Yes, I will stop a person from driving home if I believe that they are drunk. Yes, I will call the police if despite my best efforts the drunk person gets behind the wheel. I've got no problem with people getting drunk (unless they are drinking to true excess or addicted). People who come to my house know that this is my policy when they are invited- you have a driver or have to stay the night.

If someone came to a party already soused, I'd assume they have a drinking problem.

I don't serve alcohol and the people in question that time had a designated driver but I no longer associate with them.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

An example of today's society: I was in the parking lot of a local store last night sending a work email (was meeting my wife there and was doing a bit of work before she arrived) when a white car pulled into the spot next to me. As they were getting out the lady in the passenger seat hit the car next to thier car with her door hard enough that it rocked the car. Both of them got out and were laughing about the damage that they did to this very new looking car (huge dent in the right fender). Both of them walked into the store still laughing.

Inside, I saw them again and they made rude comments about my fedora, other people in front of them in line and were just plain boorish.

I followed them out where they again laughed at the car, got in and drove away after flipping me off (to which I smiled and waved with all my fingers). Not only was I shocked by thier behavior, I was rather saddened to see that they were in thier mid to late 30s and had thier children with them. Of course I had helped thier cause out earlier by leaving my business card with a note to call me and the licence plate of the offending vehicle under the damaged car's wiper blade.

I am reporting this story because I am seeing this type of behavior more and more here in sleepy Vermont and often times it is parents with children in tow. I can only imagine the lack of respect these children are growing up with (I won't even begin the relay stories my wife has reported as a teacher). I am sure that in larger communities this type of behavior is even more common. So it is little wonder to me that guests act like boorish pigs at parties because, as a society, we have condoned this type of behavior by tolerating it in our communities.

That is disgusting and disheartening. I got a brand new car last year, took me a while to save up for the down payment. I would be heartbroken if someone did that to my car and didn't care. But the fact that they LAUGHED. And with their kids watching.

 

[HeyMoe]

That is disgusting and disheartening. I got a brand new car last year, took me a while to save up for the down payment. I would be heartbroken if someone did that to my car and didn't care. But the fact that they LAUGHED. And with their kids watching.

Yup. It was sickening to watch. I hope that the owner calls me, I would hate for them to get stuck with a bill when these....I can't use the proper language to describe these people in mixed company....have such an obvious disregard for the property of others.

 

[Retro_GI_Jane]

Situations like HeyMoe just described is the reason why my parents would always park in the spaces in the furthest corners of the parking lots when we were growing up regardless of weather, knowing everyone else was too lazy to walk the distance so they'd park in the open spaces closest to the buildings. And they never had to worry about dents in their cars from shopping carts or nearby drivers.

 

[PADDY]

Some "great" and heartening positive advice being offered here!

 

[sheeplady]

Situations like HeyMoe just described is the reason why my parents would always park in the spaces in the furthest corners of the parking lots when we were growing up regardless of weather, knowing everyone else was too lazy to walk the distance so they'd park in the open spaces closest to the buildings. And they never had to worry about dents in their cars from shopping carts or nearby drivers.

My father does this. And the exercise is good for you!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Situations like HeyMoe just described is the reason why my parents would always park in the spaces in the furthest corners of the parking lots when we were growing up regardless of weather, knowing everyone else was too lazy to walk the distance so they'd park in the open spaces closest to the buildings. And they never had to worry about dents in their cars from shopping carts or nearby drivers.

I do this all the time, too!

 

[C-dot]

I'm glad everybody liked my suggestion

She tends to adopt the velvet bulldozer approach as i call it, which is when she spots guests about to put a glass on to that georgian side table, missing the coaster, will rush up and be all 'darling, i forgot to put down a coaster, how silly of me", or " darling have a napkin, i would hate you to ruin those wonderful trousers", kinda thing. Invariably as she is a complete doll and puts a positive slant on it, rather than making people feel they have been ticked off, seems to work.

This is what we try to do too, because although we hate when people are disrespectful to their host's belongings, we hate it just as much when a host is rude to their guests (after all, they invited them!) "Whoops, I forgot to put a coaster here" or "So sorry, we forgot to put out enough napkins!" type deal.

PrettySquareGal, I think it's pretty prudent of you not to serve alcohol. People cross the line enough when they're sober!

 

[Stanley Doble]

Sounds like what you want is a formal dinner party not a cocktail party or buffet. For a less formal affair put away your best glassware and ornaments, serve on paper plates and plastic glasses and enjoy the party. I know you want to honor your guests with the best you have to offer but plainly it is not working. There must be a way to keep your friends and keep your home intact at the same time.

Nick and Nora Charles know how to throw a party lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqBQKFXEHPg&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL8D4B1A4C8CA334BF

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Sounds like what you want is a formal dinner party not a cocktail party or buffet. For a less formal affair put away your best glassware and ornaments, serve on paper plates and plastic glasses and enjoy the party. I know you want to honor your guests with the best you have to offer but plainly it is not working. There must be a way to keep your friends and keep your home intact at the same time.

Nick and Nora Charles know how to throw a party lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqBQKFXEHPg&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL8D4B1A4C8CA334BF

It's neither formal or informal so much as vintage. I pride myself on doing vintage to the last detail. It'd be cool if I had vintage deadstock paper plates/cups! I could arrange that for next time!

 

[sheeplady]

The other thing you could do is look into getting some vintage restaurantware. It's normally tough as rocks and cheap and sold in large quanities. (That's mainly what I use for larger parties.) The only warning is that in a war between restaurantware and your floor tiles, the restaurantware will win.