The general decline in standards today

[Marc Chevalier]

Those are the Golden Era values I was raised with, and I'm sticking to it.

Yes. Those values have backbone.

Spines these days are rubberized: they either bounce aggressively toward you, smacking you in the face, or they sway backward, shying away from any firm stance.

 

[Tomasso]

There's so many comments I could leave here Tomasso that I don't even know where to begin lol

Don't be afraid to share your experiences; just substitute "a friend of mine" for your name.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

And they're horses' rumps to do so. Judging others out loud and without invitation, as these people do, is an easy way to lessen (or flat out avoid) the burden of judging oneself.

Thanks. It used to bother me but now I know what you state is true so it no longer gets to me and I don't respond. I just smile and shrug.

 

[AmateisGal]

I think this "fear of being judgemental" is innately hypocritical -- because *everyone* is judgemental, whether we want to admit it or not. Those who condemn others for being judgemental are themselves *being* judgemental, aren't they? It's a high horse of a different color, but it's a high horse just the same.

Yep. You said it exactly.

 

[rue]

Don't be afraid to share your experiences; just substitute "a friend of mine" for your name.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Yep. You said it exactly.

It's true. I have to bite my tongue all the time after seeing what some male and female Fedora Loungers wear. I definitely (heck, inevitably) judge their level of taste, but I'll be darned if my exact thoughts will end up on this screen. Best to keep them to myself. De gustibus non est disputandum, or something.

 

[rue]

It's true. I have to bite my tongue all the time after seeing what some male and female Fedora Loungers wear. I definitely (heck, inevitably) judge their level of taste, but I'll be darned if my exact thoughts will end up on this screen. Best to keep them to myself. De gustibus non est disputandum, or something.

And that my friends is the end of me posting on the 'what are you wearing today' thread lol

 

[Marc Chevalier]

And that my friends is the end of me posting on the 'what are you wearing today' thread lol

Which is why I withhold from Loungers my judgement about their ability to dress well -- unless they directly ask for my opinion. (In any case, most are afraid to. )

 

[rue]

Which is why I withhold from Loungers my judgement about their ability to dress well -- unless they specifically ask for my opinion.

I know what you mean... I'm just making a joke at my expense.

I'm the same way. I don't give false compliments, but I don't criticize either, unless asked. That goes for here and in everyday life.

 

[sheeplady]

I think this "fear of being judgemental" is innately hypocritical -- because *everyone* is judgemental, whether we want to admit it or not. Those who condemn others for being judgemental are themselves *being* judgemental, aren't they? It's a high horse of a different color, but it's a high horse just the same.

This is extremely true. Bashing someone for not being open minded enough just shows that you, yourself, are not open minded. But at some point it becomes circular and it just spirals into chaos. In my mind, some of this has always boiled down to where tolerance should end. I've seen people argue that bigoted, racist, classist, and other attitudes/behaviors in similar veins should be tolerated, in the name of "open mindedness." Because truely open minded and tolerant people accept everyone. And if we don't ignore this behavior, we're just as judgemental as the bigots.

And really, I can't agree with that. I think there is a certain level of tolerance that is good for society, and there is a certain level of tolerance which is bad for society.

 

[rue]

My tolerance ends where bad suits begin. Should I bash Loungers who wear bad suits?

Don't you already have a thread like that?

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Bashing them unawares? No way. Guess I've been too politically correct until now. Maybe it's time to do some judgin'.

OH my gawwd...wouldn't that just be so fun to watch....

 

[rue]

Bashing them unawares? No way. Guess I've been too politically correct until now. Maybe it's time to do some judgin'.

Maybe not unawares, but I swear you have a thread for judging.... hmmmm....

Oh please don't.... I don't want to watch grown men cry......

 

[rue]

Folks want to judge out loud, but how many want to get an earful of judging? Feel free to raise your hands.

Privately I don't mind.... publicly, not so much.

 

[Trotsky]

Folks want to judge out loud, but how many want to get an earful of judging? Feel free to raise your hands.

Do it. Hell, threads like that would help me improve my dress sense.

 

[rue]

I had a thread where people could ask me to judge their outfits. I did so only when asked, and always with respect and tact. I had to abandon that thread after receiving hate mail about it on my Facebook account.

That's what it was! I read it, but I couldn't remember what it was called. I thought it was very informative.

Hate mail?? That's ridiculous. They did ask your opinion didn't they?

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

I had a thread where people could ask me to judge their outfits. I did so only when asked, and always with respect and tact. I had to abandon that thread after receiving hate mail about it on my Facebook account.

It's just like when the wife or girlfriend asks if those pants make her look fat. There's only one answer if you don't want to be sleeping on the couch. :eusa_doh:

 

[Steven180]

That's what I'm struggling with because I think we *can* say something and indeed, *should* say something. Because we are so scared in this society to question what anyone does for fear of *offending* them or being *judgmental* that we are allowing basic human decency to fall by the wayside.

Wow, this thread took off today...

I apologize if I keep with the 'example' gig, but agreeing with AmateisGal and PrettySquareGal I believe you should do or say something if someone is clearly acting in selfishness or demonstrating an injustice. No need to be offensive, get into a name calling match, or pander to escalation, but calmly and clearly stating the issue and providing the answer will likely put an end to the issue. You may not get their vote for most popular, but you will do the right thing and demonstrate to others that making a stand is still acceptable.

About three months ago I was driving into a strip mall and found a young girl that had parked her car in the middle of the thoroughfare RIGHT IN FRONT of a store a friend was shopping in and talking on her cell phone. Not nearest the curb either, but on the other side blocking the route of anyone and everyone who was trying to drive either way. Only thirty meters away was an open parking space, that was still even in view of the store she was in front of. I simply drove beside her, asked her to move, and pointed out the open spot. She was not happy about being confronted, and made it clear that she thought I was being quite rude. After biting my tongue, I asked her to move and allow others to pass safely. and paused to ensure my point was made. She pulled into that space and I received a couple of applauses from pedestrians as I drove away. Hopefully she'll be less likely to be so self-centered in the future.

"It takes a village...," and "Be the change you wish to see...," and all that. I'm not that eloquent, but I have a hard time tolerating selfishness at the cost of others. Say something, most people will self correct after they recover from the shock. But also know when to walk away if a psycho continues to escalate and won't let go.

M.

 

[rue]

I didn't get hate mail from the ones who asked. It was from several Loungers who didn't ask, but felt that I didn't have a right to judge anyone about anything, under any circumstances.

'Nuff said. Over and out.

Got it

It's just like when the wife or girlfriend asks if those pants make her look fat. There's only one answer if you don't want to be sleeping on the couch. :eusa_doh:

Women should know better

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Once I was standing in the Express Line at (the now-defunct) Drug Emporium and I noticed that the woman in front of me had exceeded the ten item limit by almost twice the amount. I'll never forget this, she turned to me, laughed and jokingly said that I was in the wrong line. Even more maddening was that instead of enforcing their own store policy, the clerk simply rang up her purchases instead of making her move to another line. I can see why the whole chain went belly up!