The general decline in standards today

[LizzieMaine]

Mom's basement is not a place, it's a state of mind.

Otherwise known as "The Land of Lost Boys."

 

[Nathan Dodge]

Otherwise known as "The Land of Lost Boys."

Don't forget the ladies! As my brother-in-law said about his older sister (the one that's not my wife): "First one in (the world), last one out (of the house)!" It may have even qualified as an awkward moment had we all not roared with laughter.

 

[Tomasso]

I think that part of this decline is due to the fact that so many "children" never move out of their parents' house...

I bet there were more adult children living at home back in the day than there are today. Staying at home until marriage was quite common and finding a mate could sometimes take a while. It was also not uncommon to have multi-generational households, from grandparents to grandchildren. I know of a family that at one time had four generations under one roof, mind you they had something like forty rooms under that roof.

 

[rue]

I know of a family that at one time had four generations under one roof, mind you they had something like forty rooms under that roof.

That was the TV show Dallas

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Mom's basement is not a place, it's a state of mind.

For the most part (as what you say is true) the worst part about the ordeal (for those that are there) is, the don't take the elevator, out! They stay on the (to the elevator operator, speaking relatively meek in demeanor), "bottom floor, please"!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

That was the TV show Dallas

"The Waltons......(on steriods) !!!!!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Don't forget the ladies! As my brother-in-law said about his older sister (the one that's not my wife): "First one in (the world), last one out (of the house)!" It may have even qualified as an awkward moment had we all not roared with laughter.

Sounds to me, they were in line to use the bathroom!

 

[jamespowers]

That was the TV show Dallas

And Falcon Crest for that matter.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I bet there were more adult children living at home back in the day than there are today. Staying at home until marriage was quite common and finding a mate could sometimes take a while. It was also not uncommon to have multi-generational households, from grandparents to grandchildren. I know of a family that at
one time had four generations under one roof, mind you they had something like forty rooms under that roof.

It wasn't uncommon for rural/farm families to do this -- but it was because the labor of the kids was needed to work the land. It was also common during the Depression even for city families -- but more often than not it was because Dad was out of work and the kids and Mom had to hold down menial jobs to keep the roof over the family's head. An awful lot of those multi-generation families had immigrant grandparents who spoke English poorly, if at all, and weren't well equipped to be on their own, and on the other end of the scale, kids who'd been required to drop out of school and go to work. Not quite the same scenario as today.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I bet there were more adult children living at home back in the day than there are today. Staying at home until marriage was quite common and finding a mate could sometimes take a while. It was also not uncommon to have multi-generational households, from grandparents to grandchildren. I know of a family that at one time had four generations under one roof, mind you they had something like forty rooms under that roof.

And it's still that way in most of the world. In Chile, kids go to university, become doctors and lawyers ... and still live with their parents until they get married. Why? Because university educations there are so expensive to pay off (and scholarships and grants are practically nonexistent). If you're Chilean and not rich, you can't afford to pay your student loans and pay rent on an apartment, let alone buy a home ... so young professionals continue to live with mom and dad until the loans are paid off.

Does that make these young adults slackers?

 

[Nathan Dodge]

And it's still that way in most of the world. In Chile, kids go to university, become doctors and lawyers ... and still live with their parents until they get married. Why? Because university educations there are so expensive to pay off (and scholarships and grants are practically nonexistent). If you're Chilean and not rich, you can't afford to pay your student loans and pay rent on an apartment, let alone buy a home ... so young professionals continue to live with mom and dad until the loans are paid off.

Does that make these young adults slackers?

If they're not out-and-out slackers, then they're certainly postponing adulthood amid their constantly crying poor mouth. Whatever happened to "working one's way through college"? The plight of the "poor student"? There are successful, practicing doctors who still haven't paid their medical school bills and it's not because they can't afford to do so.

I work with foreign students, many of whom apply for and receive financial aid. They also work multiple jobs and live on their own, so if these students can make the trek out of desperately impoverished countries like Haiti, then someone from Chile can do the same.

 

[Feraud]

Not at all. I think the comment about mom's basement being a state of mind is applicable.

 

[Edward]

I bet there were more adult children living at home back in the day than there are today. Staying at home until marriage was quite common and finding a mate could sometimes take a while. It was also not uncommon to have multi-generational households, from grandparents to grandchildren. I know of a family that at one time had four generations under one roof, mind you they had something like forty rooms under that roof.

Not uncommon in other parts of the world even today, where they have a different cultural approach to family, though often it seems to me it is a poverty thin as much as anything. FWIW, I've had two relatives who returned or stayed home. A great uncle on my mother's side was one - he'd have been closing in on ninety now, I think, had cancer not taken him twenty years ago. He was in admin with a construction firm, and spent the later Forties and some of the early Fifties I think too in London when the company moved wholesale there to take advantage of the amount of available work in the postwar reconstruction (as did many Irish firms as well as individual labourers). He returned to the parental home eventually, and never married. When I knew him in his fifties and sixties, he, along with my grandmother, was primary carer for my great grandfather, the only great grandparent I met, who lived to 97. On the other side of the family, my Aunt, dad's sister, never married and never left home. She's on her own now, having lived to bury both her parents, and for the last five months of my grandmother's life (alas, aggressive cancer again) was her primary carer, almost 24/7. In Northern Ireland, it seems my parents' generation was a transitional one for that sort of thing - it's now much more common in my generation for folks to move out of home if they can afford it, but still I know a number who even in their early thirties have moved back in to look after elderly parents. Those who don't move out these days seem to be primarily religious kids who maybe don't get married and don't want to live with a partner (the old "living in sin" idea), and have no other reason to move out, such as relocating for work. It does tend to be a culture wherein those who can at all afford to buy property will do; often folks live at home with parents until they can afford a deposit, as paying rent out to a stranger is perceived as a waste of money.

And it's still that way in most of the world. In Chile, kids go to university, become doctors and lawyers ... and still live with their parents until they get married. Why? Because university educations there are so expensive to pay off (and scholarships and grants are practically nonexistent). If you're Chilean and not rich, you can't afford to pay your student loans and pay rent on an apartment, let alone buy a home ... so young professionals continue to live with mom and dad until the loans are paid off.

With the massive hikes in tuition fees due to kick in here over the next couple of years, I suspect that we're gonig to see a lot more of that in the UK too, at least among the kids who aren't put off going to university altogether.

 

[TidiousTed]

And it's still that way in most of the world. In Chile, kids go to university, become doctors and lawyers ... and still live with their parents until they get married. Why? Because university educations there are so expensive to pay off (and scholarships and grants are practically nonexistent). If you're Chilean and not rich, you can't afford to pay your student loans and pay rent on an apartment, let alone buy a home ... so young professionals continue to live with mom and dad until the loans are paid off.

Does that make these young adults slackers?

It's like that in Italy too, but there quite a few of them, partiqularly the boys, are slackers. They'd rather use their money on cars, clothes and nightlife than getting their own place to live.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Whatever happened to "working one's way through college"? The plight of the "poor student"? There are successful, practicing doctors who still haven't paid their medical school bills and it's not because they can't afford to do so.

You really don't know a thing about Chile, so why even try to pontificate?

I work with foreign students, many of whom apply for and receive financial aid...

... in the United States. Correct?

...if these students can make the trek out of desperately impoverished countries like Haiti, then someone from Chile can do the same.

It's kind of you to invite young adult Chileans living at home to apply for student visas, come study in the United States, find jobs (which they're not legally allowed to have while being students) and live in apartments here. Sounds very feasible.

 

[Nathan Dodge]

You really don't know a thing about Chile, so why even try to pontificate?

Other than what my sister-in-law and her family have told me over the past twenty years, no.

... in the United States. Correct?

Yes, where people from foreign countries routinely come to live, work, and go to school. It's not uncommon for people from impoverished countries to come here for, you know, the opportunities and NOT to live at home whining about how they must live at home with the parents well after receiving their doctorates.

You're no doubt from the "You can't ground me, I'm forty!" school of thought.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Other than what my sister-in-law and her family have told me over the past twenty years, no.

Perhaps you should consult them more often. Or better yet, try living there for a spell, so you can really know what you're talking about. You could move in with your sister-in-law's family.

 

[Nathan Dodge]

It's kind of you to invite young adult Chileans living at home to apply for student visas, come study in the United States, find jobs (which they're not legally allowed to have while being students) and live in apartments here. Sounds very feasible.

You conveniently ignored my point that students from countries other than Chile do these very things.

As for trying to live somewhere else, try Haiti some time--it's got Chile beat coming and going in the impoverished department.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I know people like this. They're not staying home to help the family, they've large children who sit around playing video games and live of Mom and Dad. It's not right, get out here and get a job.

I think that part of this decline is due to the fact that so many "children" never move out of their parents' house, choosing instead to sponge off poor ol' (but enabling) ma and pa--and doing so well into their thirties. Adulthood never begins for these people.

lol

That was the TV show Dallas

I actually heard of this happening again, for the first time in ages. Reminded me much of the depression years. My best friend's mom works two jobs, and the company his dad works for is going under. They're hoping to be okay after they reorganize, having just went into Chapter 11. He is talking about moving back home to help keep the mortgage paid up. Right now, he's moving out of where he's currently living to move in with his sister and her Fiance to keep their roof over their heads.

It wasn't uncommon for rural/farm families to do this -- but it was because the labor of the kids was needed to work the land. It was also common during the Depression even for city families -- but more often than not it was because Dad was out of work and the kids and Mom had to hold down menial jobs to keep the roof over the family's head. An awful lot of those multi-generation families had immigrant grandparents who spoke English poorly, if at all, and weren't well equipped to be on their own, and on the other end of the scale, kids who'd been required to drop out of school and go to work. Not quite the same scenario as today.

 

[sheeplady]

On the subject of adult children living at home, remember that the end result (living at home) can come from a number of different sources. Sure, are some adult children leeches? Yeah. But some are actually taking care of their parents, either financially or physically.

I come from a culture where multi-generational families are valued. It is expected that families live close to each other (if not on the same property or in the same home), care for each other, and that multiple generations under the same roof is actually desirable. I was raised that it is better for a family member to sit the kids or care for the elders who need it, over a stranger or institution, if at all possible.

If I had the opportunity or means to move into my parents home to care for them for a short period of time later in their lives, I would prefer to do that rather than having them move in with me and go through the stress of giving up their home, lifestyle, and friends/community on top of their illness.