The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

("Ye frett'n aboot noothin', Nora," reassures Uncle Frank, spearing a piece of lamb chop with his fork. "Ye gaaht noothin' t'warry aboot. Doyle tells me tharr oonly gooin' aafter these amatchoors an' smaahl toimers to roon oop th' noombers, t'make it look good. He says we gaaaht noothin' t'warry aboot at'ahl s'long as we doon't draw attention." "What doos Doyle know?" frowns Ma. "A two-bit desk saaargent at th' Empoire Boolevard station doon't knoow noothin' 'boot what gooes aaahn at th' Commissioner's aahfice. Th' heat's aaahn, Francis. Oi'm ev'n thinkin' we need t' -- how d'ye say -- carrrrtail aahparations f'ra bit oontill th' heat's aaahff." "Doyle knows maaahr'n ye think he does," replies Uncle Frank thru a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "Doyle's gaaht coonections." "Soo did Bert Behan," growls Ma. "Ahhn look what it got'im." "Thaaat remoinds me," exclaims Uncle Frank. "I got to go over tharr t'Behan's s'loon aand haave a warrd with th' man. He's behoind in his bill.")

With at least a month to wait for the answer, guessers expert and otherwise were busy today trying to figure out whether Mayor LaGuardia meant some type of new sales levy when he proposed a "transportation tax" instead of an increase in the subway fare as a way to bring in the $50,000,000 in additional annual revenue needed to wipe out the current subway operating defecit and provide for needed transit improvements. The "transportation tax" was first mentioned by the Mayor in his budget message to the City Council on Saturday, but he did not elaborate further on the nature of that tax, other than to indicate that it would not be a tax charged directly to transit fares. He stated that the tax would be "shared equally" among all those benefitting from the transit system. Questioned by reporters, the Mayor would say only that the press should "suspend judgement" until the full details of the tax plan are revealed in May. "Let the critics find out what the plan is before they criticize," declared the Mayor. "Let everybody get all the spleen and bile out of their systems so that we can have calm and intelligent consideration."

The Mayor and labor leader Sidney Hillman met yesterday to discuss future leadership of the American Labor Party, with the two agreeing that a new leader must be someone already familiar to the public even if not necessarily a labor man. The discussion comes ahead of a scheduled meeting of the party's executive committee next Saturday. It is not known at this time if members of the defeated ALP right wing will attend that meeting. It has been stated that that faction, led by David and Rose Dubinsky of the International Ladies Garment Workers Union, will withdraw from the ALP and form its own political party.

With supplies of petroleum surging into the East Coast distribution area at record high rates, gasoline companies are calling on the Office of Price Administration to relax ration restrictions or even discontinue them entirely, arguing that such changes could now be made without endangering the war effort. At present oil is arriving at Eastern depots at the rate of 1,800,000 barrels a day, and may reach the 2,000,000 per day mark within the next few months. Oil industry officials warn that if rationing is not relaxed or dropped, existing storage facilities may soon be filled to capacity.

(There's a new world coming?)

The only trained hippopotamus in captivity will perform beginning Wednesday in the new edition of the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus, opening this week at Madison Square Garden. Lotus the Hippo is the first of her species to be presented in the center ring of the circus. She weighs three tons, and is a native of the Nile River.

(Yep, it's an election year.)

(And if you do take too much, why, there's always Benzedrine.)

("Smut Aderholt?")

Dixie Walker is no third baseman, and if there's any doubt about it, ask his left knee. Dix has been working out at the hot corner "just for fun," but the fun ended abruptly when he aggravated that old knee injury he's been carrying around since he played for the Tigers. Dixie sat out yesterday's exhibition game against the Yankees, with old timer Paul Waner and California schoolboy Duke Snider taking his place in right field.

(You tell'im, Gyps! SHOVE OFF, JACKASS!)

(There's No Such Thing As Bad Publicity.)

(Poor Jane, scoliosis really hurts.)

("Hufflypuff?")

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO -- um -- KID.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Hey, let me try!" -- Dr. Seuss.

Who needs the internet?

"I don't care if Bobby Clark IS working with my sister! I WILL NOT WORK WITH VITAMIN FLINTHEART!" -- G. R. Lee.

Tell me it isn't who it really does seem to be.

HOONK!

C'mon, Lil -- how can you sit like that and not fall off?

What's Margaret Hamilton got that she ain't got?

KIDS TODAY

Pool? PINBALL? Oh, Jessica, dear, do you have any idea what you're getting into???

Hmph, can't we have the doggie instead?

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Am I thinking Mr Caniff is leading to Gypsy Rose, Lee's wish?
In Aldershot officer mess a SAS told tale of Baghdad banquet hosted Saddam Hussein for visiting American and British Special Forces. The belly dancing girls there performed while hot frog soup served. Saddam clapped his hands. And the ladies stripped to dance nude before the men. Brecon Beacons paid for pain.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Now willya LOOK AT THAT!" erupts Sally. "A MAGISTRATE hangin' aroun' RACETRACKS! I ASK YA!" "Whoozat, Goldstein?" replies Alice. "Oh, I know him. Actually, I know bot''v'm, Joe Goldstein an' Lou Goldstien. Joe's t'one likes t' ponies, but Lou, he's t' coun'y judge, he don' go in f'none'a t'at. Leas' I don' t'ink." "How'da YOU know t'ese guys?" queries Sally, shooting her seatmate a skeptical glance. "Oh," ohs Alice, "I get aroun'. T'ey ain' r'lated, t'em Goldsteins, 'least I don' t'ink. T'eh jus', you know, coinciden'al." "Well," huffs Sally, "I t'ink it's awrfl, a magistrate bett'n on races. What's nex', bett'n on numbehs? Playin' PINBAWL? Prob'ly onna take, jus' like most'a t'ese judges now. I t'ought LaGawrdieh was gonna clean house. T'ey need t'get ridda AWLESE bookies, send'm right up't riveh. Clean up t'is city so it's a fit place t'raise a lit'l goil in. Y'know what Docteh Minkoff tol' me? He says envi'rament is t'mos' impoehtn' t'ink in raisin' a kid. A kid grows up 'roun' gamblin' an' bookies an' awlat stuff, she's boun' ta end up in trouble!" "Oh,' chuckles Alice, "you toin't out awright." "What?" "Nut'n.")

A ruling by the U. S. Supreme Court that Negroes are entitled to vote in primary elections raised the possibility today that Southern states may in response abandon the primary system and return to choosing party candidates at conventions. The prospect of such action was raised by at least two Southern senators, with one of them declaring flat out that "any Negro attempting to attend a Democratic party convention would be thrown out by the seat of his pants." Senator John Overton (D-Louisiana) added that "the South will at all costs maintain the rule of white supremacy. The Negro can be kept from the polls by educational qualification tests." Overton further warned the Administration that the Supreme Court's decision "will greatly add to the difficulties of advocates of a fourth term in securing the support of the South." Southerners in general are today denouncing the Court's ruling, which declared that whenever primaries become part of the machinery for choosing candidates for state or national office, Negroes have a constitutional right to vote in those elections.

Wendell Willkie faces the acid test today in Wisconsin, as that state's Republican Party holds a primary election to choose 24 delegates for this summer's GOP convention. Willkie completed a thirteen-day tour of the state, which ended last week, and concluded the visit by declaring that his candidacy for the Republican nomination will "stand or fall" based on the outcome of the Wisconsin vote. Although WIllkie was the only candidate to campaign in Wisconsin, he is opposed by slates of delegates pledged to New York Governor Thomas E. Dewey, former Minnesota Governor Harold Stassen, and General Douglas MacArthur. President Roosevelt is the only candidate entered in the Wisconsin Democratic primary, and is the only candidate of his party to have pledged convention delegates.

(A "badger game" is one of the oldest blackmail rackets in the books, in which the sap is set up in a "compromising position" and then extorted. Can't you guys just shoot craps?)

(The Golden Age of Processed Convenience Foods.)

Reader Frank Fox congratulates the Eagle for its coverage of the Art Department at Brooklyn College, and demands that a full investigation be mounted by the city, declaring that "the policy of the college seems to be far too much on the liberal side, and that it is too receptive to foreign born professors and their advanced ideologies." He declares that "it would be much better if the college were to be structured along old-fashioned solid American lines, with greater regard for the wishes and principles of the taxpayers who support it."

(Yeah, that's all you hear nowadays, too.)

The oldest known Brooklyn resident has died at the age of 106. Mrs. Chya Kalnitsky was the oldest inmate of the Hebrew Home for the Aged, and was also one of the most active and alert residents there. "Grandma Chya," as she was known by her friends and acquaintances, maintained to the end a lively interest in world happenings, following the war news over the radio each day. She could still read without glasses, and fluently spoke Russian, Polish, German, Hebrew, and Slavish as well as English. She kept busy sewing, and had just completed a new white dress to wear to the upcoming Passover services when she was stricken in her sleep by a heart attack. Mrs. Kalnitsky came to Brooklyn from Russia in 1907, and entered the home four years later.

(Smart? I'll say he's smart, he's smart enough to get three and a half grand out of Rickey!)

(SPARKY? Is that YOU? How's Doc Static and Slappy?)

(A publicist? Just what you need!)

(Hey, there's already one Cass Daley in the world, we don't need another one.)

("What's all this I hear about AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG?")

(IT'S OK FOLKS I'M A WATER SPANIEL!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Can you tell me why a man's butler would come up here and lie against him???" Well, maybe he was cold.

"That's OK, I'll just keep my hands in my pockets!" -- Pvt. W. Bobble.

All right then, just so we're all clear on everything...

Schrodinger's Gump.

C'mon, Nick -- we KNOW IT'S YOU.

"At least until he's old enough to be drafted."

"That's good, but let's try it again. And this time underplay GIVE MYSELF UP. And not so much with the gestures, you ain't Edwin Booth."

"Anything in the world? What about a new pair of wedgies?"

Willies? Isn't one enough?

Oh, they'll be at each other's throats in no time.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I'd never heard ''the badger game.''

Mr Caniff had to start rolling out Burma so these two could start a fire. Muscles Malone looks rather peeved.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Hah!" hahs Alice. "I guess t'em boiglehs musta been read'n awrt magazines, huh? Toin't 'm right inta juvenile d'linquents." "Whateveh," shrugs Sally. "Lissen, I got a letteh fr'm Joe. Big news." "Oh," ohs Alice. "T'ey ain' send'n'im ovehseas awready, izzey?" "No, no," hastens Alice. "Lissen heeh. 'Deeh Sal,' he says. An'nen, y'know, t'ez awlis poissonal stuff." "Oh yeh," grins Alice. "Whattaya mean 'oh yeh?'" frowns Sally. "Nut'n," shrugs Alice. "Jus' 'oh yeh.' What else'z he got t'say?" "Well," continues Sally, "he says heeh, he says "anot'eh coupla weeks an' I am done wit' t' basic trainin' heeh, an'ney been givin' me a lotta tests t' figyeh out what's t'bes' jawb f'me. T'ey tol' me t'day I got whatcha cawl t'aptitude t'be a cook. If t'ey decide t'go ahead wit' t'at, t'ey say I would be sent t't'is base in Marylan', cawlt 'Foeht Meade,' t'go t' Cooks an' Bakehs School f'r ano'teh eight weeks be'foeh t'ey d'cide wheah t'send me afteh t'at. I looked it up an' t'at is kinda in between Bawltimoeh an' Washin'ton D. C.. But t'ey tell me I will get a week's leave befoeh t'ey sen' me, if t'ey sen' me. I t'ink t'at I would like t'go t't'at school, since I been spendin' a lotta time inna kitchen heeh anyways, an' I guess I am betteh wit' a peeleh t'en I am wit' a gun. Ha ha.'" "Huh," huhs Alice. "An'nen t'ezza lotta poissonal stuff heeh," continues Sally, "an'nen he says 'say h'lot t'ev'rybody an' I'll see'm in a coupla weeks. Love t'you an' Leonoreh, Joe." "Huh," repeats Alice. "Joe an Awrmy cook." "I'd rat'eh he be a cook," sighs Sally, "t'en have 'im be sump'n wheh he's gonna get shot at." "Don't ask Siddy about t'at," chuckles Alice. "He seen some t'ings inna las' wawr..." "Oh shut up," growls Sally. "Sawry," nods Alice.)

Occupational and farm deferments of men age 26 and older will be reviewed once the present review of men under 26 is concluded. Selective Service Director Gen. Lewis B. Hershey announced last night that additional incentives will be provided for men classified 4-F to take jobs in essential industires or agriculture, with such men guaranteed automatic deferments as essential workers. Those 4-Fs who do not immediately take essential jobs will be subject to being drafted either into essential employment, or into the Army, under legislation now being prepared in Washington. Speaking over a nationwide radio hookup, Gen. Hershey stated that military demands for an estimated 1,008,000 men by July 1st would not be fully met by induction of 1-As, those reaching the age of 18, and men under 26 whose occupational deferrments are now being reviewed, and he indicated that men between 26 and 30 will be considered in the next series of reviews. He also indicated that even when that group has been reviewed, there still will not be enough men to meet the quota, and that men over 30 will have to be utilized.

("Oh," ohs Sally. "He awlso sent me a pitcheh in his unifawrm." "Ooh, lemme see," enthuses Alice, taking the proffered photo. "He's got his hat awn," observes Alice. "Yeh," nods Sally."T'at worries me. T'at worries me a LAWT.")

("Ha ha ha!" says the rabbit. "Nobody's having hassenpfeffer this year!")

(Speaking of draft exemptions that need to be revisited...)

Reader F. Kammer predicts that if Governor Dewey wins the Republican presidential nomination this summer, he will win the November election "by a landslide." He disdains Wendell Willkie as an unqualified man who has never held public office, and who was badly beaten four years ago. "Why doesn't he get wise to himself?"

(Dixie at third base? Yeah, he and Leo are great great friends.)

(No means NO.)

("But with that face -- uh -- shouldn't YOU be Watson?")

(She's going be breaking in her new comedy act at the Copa.)

(Honestly, if I had this power, this is exactly how I'd use it.)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG never heard of a breakaway collar.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

You don't dig around in a coal bin unless you have good reason to think you're going to find something.

Wait'll television gets going!

Somewhere, Pat Ryan is smiling.

Grizzly? Well, that explains the coat.

Isn't it romantic?

Kay and Mae between soap-selling jobs.

"Yuh know, Duke, yuh REMIND me of somebody -- if only I could think of WHO..."

Must be the Powder Room.

And the Plushbottoms wonder why they can't get homeowners' insurance.

Yeah, but the summer whites are cuter.

 

[Fading Fast]

Never thought of Joe becoming an army cook, but I guess in the army, despite how the army says it officially, it's less about having an aptitude for cooking and more about not having an aptitude for soldiering. I'm for anything that gets Joe home safely.

 

[LizzieMaine]

"Sawry, Coinal -- t'em peelin's is s'posta be inneh. Gives it, y'know, flaveh."

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Our lad is cooking something himself.

I just learned New York had an earthquake! Somebody call Joe's in the Village to check on Joe and the place.

 

[Fading Fast]

Our lad is cooking something himself.

I just learned New York had an earthquake! Somebody call Joe's in the Village to check on Joe and the place.

I felt a rumble in our apartment, pretty much like it feels when you're standing on a subway and an express train blast through. We didn't have any swaying or stuff falling over, but it was very noticeable.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I felt a rumble in our apartment, pretty much like it feels when you're standing on a subway and an express train blast through. We didn't have any swaying or stuff falling over, but it was very noticeable.

They said it was a relatively shallow strike but after Taiwan it's a dice throw as to whatever comes next.
Call Joe's and order a large sausage pick up or delivery, uncork a choice vino and rewatch Maverick Top Gun.

 

[Farace]

We felt the quake in Connecticut. I’m told there were reports all the way to the Massachusetts/New Hampshire border.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Dewey!" snorts Sally, her voice dripping with derision. "I neveh liked t'at guy, you know t'at? Sump'n'a bout'm. T'eh wazzis flooehwawkeh, when I woiked at Woolwoit's. Hadda moustache jus' like t'at, an' phony grinnin' teet' jus' like t'at, an'na bum tried t'pinch me oncet, right onna backside. I was stannin'neh, dumpin' a bagga filbe'ts inna Nut House, an' he come up behin' me an' latches right onneh. An' I toin't aroun' an' lett'im have it right acrawsta kisseh wit' t'at bagga filbe'ts. Nuts flyin' awl oveh t'place. I got wrote up f' insuboehdn'ation, an' I hadda clean up awl'lem filbe'ts, but I tellya one t'ing, t'at flooehwawkeh kept'is han's t'wimse'f f'm t'en awn. Whatta rat. An' Dewey looks jus' like 'im. Hey -- you lissenin'?" "Huh?" huhs Alice. "Aw, sawry, I was jus' t'inkin' about las' night. Me'n Siddy wen' oveh t'City, t' see t' coicus 'eh, at Madison Squaeh Gawrden. We took Willie wit' us, an' didn' he have'imself a time. T'ey haddat dancin' hippehpattamus t'eh, an'nat was sump'n t'see! Y'know, when I was inna home t'eh, t'eh was a lotta kids t'eh uset'a say t'me 'ya big hippehpattamus,' an'neh sistehs neveh done nut'n t'make'm stawp. I had to bust a few'a t'em kids inna moosh t'make'm stawp, y'know? I didn' like bein' cawlt no hippehpattamus. Butcha y'know, afteh see'nis one las' night, why, I t'ink hippehpattamuses is pretty good. I wisht I could dance like t'at." "Ah," ahs Sally, suppressing a grin. "An'nenna monkeys come out," continues Alice. "Y'know, t'at Willie, he's awrfl fonda monkeys. An' when'nem monkeys come out wit'teh lit'l cloe's awn, ridin' onna backa't'em lit'l ponies 'nawlat, why, Willie jumps right up an' stawrts goin 'oook! ooook!' an' scratchin' undeh heeh, y'know, like a monkey. An'nen -- well, Siddy's pretty fonda monkeys too. I neveh knew t'at, but he is. An' he jumps right up nex'ta Willie an' HE stawrts goin' 'ooook! ooook!' an' scratchin' undeh heeh, an' jumpin' up'n down, an' Willie stawrts laughin' an' Siddy stawrts laughin', an'nen *I* stawrt laughin' an' awla people aroun'us, *T'EY* stawrt laughin' an' it was like we was really PAWRTA t'coicus! Y'know? I don' remembeh neveh havin' so much fun." "Hawrdf'me t'magine'at," chuckles Sally. "Krause is awrways so serious awla time." "Oh, you ain' seen' nut'n," laughs Alice. "Awlaway home onna BMT, Siddy's goin' 'OOK OOK!' an' Willie's goin' 'OOK OOK!' an' people'h lookin' at us, an' well, t'rut' be tol', att'at pernt, I did get a lit'l embarass't'abouttit." "Y'don't say," grins Sally. "Yeh," nods Alice. "I might be a big hippehpottehmus married t'wa skinny bawl-headed monkey, but I got me dignity.")

The British Government today suspended all telephone service to Ireland, a step taken, it was noted, to protect the security of Allied troop movements in preparation for the invasion of Western Europe. Travel restrictions were also put in place curtailing civilian movements in key areas of England, Wales, and Scotland. Telephone communications with Ireland were severed effective midnight, with the British Postmaster General explaining that the discontinuation of service is "part of general measures to prevent leakage of vital information to Ireland." Telegraph service to the island will be maintained, he added, although under strict censorship at the British end of the only telegraph line leading to Eire and Northern Ireland. All civilian travel between England and Ireland was suspended last month.

Charlie Chaplin's acquittal on white-slavery charges will not effect the Government's prosecution of the movie comedian and six others on conspiracy charges. "There is no connection between Joan Barry's trip to New York -- the basis for the Mann Act allegation of which Chaplin was absolved," explained James Carter, chief assistant to Federal prosecutor Charles H. Carr, "and her accusation that Chaplin and the others conspired to violate her civil liberties." Miss Barry alleges that Chaplin and his friends, along with several Beverly Hills police officers, forced her to leave town on the threat of ninety days in jail.

("Oi know this fellow!" declares Ma, jabbing at the page with her butter knife. "He was a friend'a me Michael's!" "A friend, is it?" chuckles Uncle Frank, savoring his pot roast. "Is thaaat the roit warrrd?" "Well, naaht soo much a friend," acknowledges Ma, "as what'che caaahl a 'colleague.')

The House Military Affairs Committee today passed a formal request for all 4-F draft registrants under the age of 26 to immediately seek essential employment, a move seen as a prelude to legislation compelling such men to take such jobs voluntarily or be forced under the law to do so. That action came as the War Production Board announced that it will no longer endorse military deferments for men under 26 working in public-utility jobs, even in cases where their loss to the armed forces might mean impairment of power or communications services. But at the same time, the WPB indicated it will fight to retain essential men in the 26-to-32 age group.

(Hope you disconnected the cigarette lighter.)

Women are taking over the job of bottling milk in Brooklyn. At the Borden's bottling plant, 3rd Avenue and Dean Street, seventeen women are now working full time on the production line, earning the same wage formerly paid to men now in the service. This is the first time the dairy has employed women on its bottling line, although women have worked before on the paper-carton lines at the company's Ozone Park plant. Only tall women are able to work on the bottle racks, and five-foot-eleven-and-a-half Mrs. Effie Alewhite of 616 Bainbridge Street, a blue-eyed, grey-haired mother of three, is right at home on that job. Not only does she supervise the loading of the bottles onto the filling track as they emerge from the washing machine, she is also required to intercept any bottles that are cracked or otherwise damaged. These she immediately pulls from the line before they break under the pressure of the capping machine.

(At least let the ground thaw first...)

(Leo is going to play in the Red Cross game? And Fitz is gonna pitch? Oh, to be there and see it.)

("I'm only gonna say this once. Leave me alone, or -- you see these pinking shears?")

("Detective, huh? Maybe you can help me find my elephant!")

(I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS GRATUITOUS SHOT OF MY BACKSIDE.)

(Condemned by your own floating shotgun!)

(YES INDEED MY MASTER WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME UNLIKE SOME DOGS I KNOW.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

I didn't look like that when I rested from MY abdominal operation.

Honestly, I don't see the resemblance.

"That nerve-shattered, shaky ex-ham." He's not only a FINE HIT MAN, he's articulate too!

If you're gonna be a louse, be a REAL louse.

Oh Annie, always fulminating over the oppressive mechanisms of the State.

And if this doesn't work out, you could always understudy for Burma.

Aw, get a room.

Enjoy yourself, kid, in six months you'll be overseas.

I wonder what Dude Hennick is up to these days.

"We Never Sleep."

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Cherry Bomb detonates. Terrence is literaly left holding the rope.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("I can't stand politicians," growls Sally. "Y'know how ya know t'eh gonna do sump'n? Whenney say oveh'r'n over'a 'gain t'ey ain' gonna do it." "I didn' t'ink much'a Coolidge," agrees Alice, "but at leas' when he said he wasn' gonna do nut'n, y' knew nut'n was gonna get done." "Coolidge," chuckles Sally. "You know, t'fois' t'ing I eveh hoid onna radio was him tawkin'. Mickey built t'is radio onna oatmeal box, you r'membeh how t'ey use'ta do t'at? Win'awlat wieh 'round it, an' hook it up t't'is crystal t'ing, an' some eehphones, an' y'd scrape t'is metal t'ing alawng t' wieh an' maybe y'might heeh sump'n. Well, Mickey done'at, an' he lemme lissen, an' it was Coolidge, you know, gett'n swoeh inta awffice. He soun'ed like t'is heeh," she continues, pinching her nose and raising her voice to a honking squeak. "'S'wondeh radio eveh cawt awn," Alice snickers. "Hey, you remembeh t'at crazy t'ing t'ey use'ta have onneh? 'T' Greenwich Village Nut Club?'" "T'at's still aroun'," comments Sally. "Least it was a few yeehs ago. Not onna radio no moeh, but t'actual jernt, y'know? It's a nightclub. When me'n Joe was fois' goin' t'geteh we wen' oveh t'eh one night, y'know? It wasn' awl it was cracked upta be. Awl fulla people fr'm Joisey. Y'get much woise nuts inta Roselan'. An' you shoulda seen'a food. A buck'na half f'ra minute steak. I ask ya." "Y'otta get at leas' five minutes," snorts Alice, "at t'at rate." Sally leans back in her seat and sighs at the memories. "I wondeh," she finally resumes, "what Joe's gonna wanna do when 'e's home awn leave." "Man's been in camp f'two mont's," snickers Alice, "an' you gotta ask t'at?" Sally shoots her a look. "You know what I mean," she growls. "So," nods Alice knowingly, "d'you.")

The Army was revealed today to have reached its peak strength of 7,700,000 men -- sending the combined strength of all the Armed Forces to an all-time high of about 11,000,000 -- but officials warned that induction rates could not be reduced any sooner than July. The Office of War Information, in a report based on information gathered from the War and Navy Departments, noted that the Army will continue to require the induction of 75,000 to 100,000 men a month thru the remainder of 1944 to maintain present strength, with the emphasis on young and vigorous men who are physically qualified for combat duty. The Navy requires another 300,000 men to reach its quota of 3,500,000 by July 1st, with a goal of reaching peak strength of 3,600,000 by September.

Meanwhile war veteran leaders of the Congress of Industrial Organizations met for a second session today after hearing Selective Service Director Gen. Lewis B. Hershey tell them that a postwar draft is likely to be required in order to enforce the terms of peace. "Force," declared Gen. Hershey, "is the ultimate court of appeals." He further advised the union officials that he knows of no other way to provide such force than by a "national system of military training."

("Errol Flynn!" snarls Ma. "Thaat man sh'd be laaahked oop. They goo aftar Charlie Chaplin, an' let thaat man roon free! Oi tell ye, Francis, th' laaaw in this coontry is beyaaand oonderstandin''." "We should go see that oothar pitchar," comments Uncle Frank. "That 'Ali Booba aand t'h Farrty Thieves.' Oi waant t'see ol' Aaandy D'vine dressed oop as'n Ay-rab." "Ye waant t'see Marie Montez," sowls Ma, eyeing Uncle Frank over the top of her glasses. "Ye'ain't foolin' me, y'old goat." "Baaaaa!" laughs Uncle Frank. "Whatche say, boy," he continues to Willie. "Ye want t'go see a pitchaar show t'night?" "Izzeh monkeys?" queries Willie. "Oi don' think so," acknowledges Uncle Frank, "boot I assume tharr's camels." Willie ponders. "Yeh," he nods, in as Krause-like a voice as he can muster.)

(Sigh.)

("And what if I *AM* no Claire Boothe Luce? You're no Henry!")

(Leo playing second base. That rasping sound you hear is spikes being sharpened.)

The Bushwicks open their season at Dexter Park on Sunday, with a single game against the Lancaster, Pa. club. Manager Joe Press intends to put his boys thru their final indoor workout tonight, and weather permitting they will work out on the field in Woodhaven tomorrow afternoon.

(Honestly? Not very much. I thought Gyps was smarter than this.)

(I had no idea George held such an advanced degree.)

(Do NOT mess with Jane Arden, Girl Reporter.)

(Scarlet has a new career ahead of her in nonprofit fundraising.)

(***intense dramatic music builds***)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"E. Pennington Pearson." Yeah, he sounds the type.

I'd forgotten all about this story. I'm glad to see the Army hasn't.

"Do not trifle with me, minion! I know how this works! I did six weeks in 'The Last Mile!'"

Wilmer never was any good at math.

Pity she's too old to join the WAVES.

Reflected glory is better than no glory at all.

Wait, did we miss something?

"Course, I never had a mama myself. Just never seemed to find the time."

Careful now, Mamie, he's your cousin by marriage or something. Oh, what the hell.

Cheery was away at school when her father knew Terry, and Terry was just a kid then, but still. I can't say much for her intelligence-gathering network if she hasn't picked up on him yet.

 

[Fading Fast]

"Uncertain Glory" gets less attention from old-movie fans today in the genre of WWII propaganda movies than it should. It's a really good one. Flynn and Lucas are outstanding and have great chemistry, plus Lucille Watson (not Bucille, wartime replacements, sheesh) never gave a false performance and, finally, Jean Sullivan is a looker. My comments on it here: #30,557


"E. Pennington Pearson" sounds made up as it is too-perfectly Waspy to be real.


At this point, Caniff has made us wait long enough, I just want to see Terry and Burma meet again.