The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Well, it's certainly a respite from the crude-but-lovable bigamists we usually get.

Hey Charlie, not to distract you or anything, but take a look at that "murdering bigamist" story. Might make a good idea for a picture.

"Hey Murphy, take a look at all this LOOSE HAIR!" "You mean?" "A DOG DID IT!"

"Oh, he IS wonderful! And SO romantic! He said he would have given me a cigar band for a ring, except he only smokes cigarettes!"

Look, somebody just feed the pooch. It's in his contract.

The kids in my neighborhood used balls of burdocks thrown from the end of a stick, and they always aimed for the hair.

"And THIS," warns Uncle Frank, "is why ye DON'T STOP AAAHF F'RA SNOOT while ye'er d'liverin' a load!" "Yessir," harmonize Jimmy and Danny.

"And besides, the Army wouldn't take me!"

Honestly, though, she really would have rather had a side of beef.

Hey, a gal's got urges too.

 

[Fading Fast]

"Hey, a gal's got urges too."

..................................................................Burma ⇧

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Now my being a chaste East End lad I surmise Mr Caniff is simply setting the chess board.
Terrence wears that shearling jacket perfectly with upturned lapel collar exactly right.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Well," shrugs Alice. "I mean, y'gotta say t'ey do have a pernt. "Soige Ivan Choi-ma-yeff. Y'can't get a moeh Goiman name n'nat." "Yeh," snorts Sally. "Y'c'n smell t'sauehkraut f'rm 'eeh." )

A shakeup of Brooklyn police that has thus far resulted in the transfer of two high-ranking officers, and the reduction in rank of 16 plainclothes officers to the status of uniformed patrolmen will reach its high point tomorrow, when Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine announces promotions and additions to the ranks. The latest high-ranking officer in what the Commissioner refers to as "the big happy family of Brooklyn police" to be affected by the upheaval is Inspector Peter J. McGuirk, who relinquishes his command of Brooklyn East uniformed men to Inspector Charles B. Dorschell, and moves to take over Dorschell's former position in command of the Manhattan 2nd Division on the Lower East Side. For Inspector Dorschell the shift is in the nature of a homecoming. For several years, he commanded all uniformed patrolmen in Brooklyn until he was shifted to the Manhattan position in the midst of the last big shakeup. That shakeup followed the accusation that Lt. Cuthbert Behan was responsible for the destruction of certain records at the Bergen Street police station during the investigation of bail-bond irregularities in that district. Although Behan was acquitted of criminal charges, he was removed from the police force after a departmental trial and now operates a popular saloon on Court Street.

The withdrawal of former right-wing leaders in the American Labor Party has been followed by a severe blow to the party's finances, with the announcement by former ALP right-winger David Dubinsky that the International Ladies Garment Workers Union, which he heads, will no longer provide financial support to the party. According to Dubinsky, the ILGWU contributed more than $500,000 to various ALP campaigns between 1936 and 1944, along with a total of $287,000 from various union locals and individual members. The withdrawal of the Dubinsky faction from the ALP came amidst charges that the rival left-wing faction headed by Sidney Hillman is dominated by Communists. The Dubinsky faction was defeated by the Hillmanites in last Tuesday's ALP primary election. While Dubinsky hastened to deny that he accuses Hillman himself of being a Communist, he asserted that he and his followers were willing to consort with "Marcantonio, Connolly, and Quill and their ilk in the hope of gaining power," and he further asserted that Hillmanite control of the ALP would be the same as turning the party over to Earl Browder himself.

(I mean, the script writes itself.)

("ALP!" yelps Leonora, stabbing her finger at the page spread out on the counter. "ALP! ALP!" "Are ye a puppy daaahg, darrlin'?" chuckles Ma, polishing the fountain taps to a high shine. "ALP! ALP!" repeats Leonora, giggling with glee. "ALP! Girrr-leee reee-v-u-eee!" "Gimme thaaat paper!" snaps Ma, snatching the page away. "Can Can!" adds Leonora. "Oh dearrrrrr," sighs Ma.)

The Eagle Editorialist offers up for consideration a few simple questions. "If Joe Adonis conducts racketeeting enterprises in Brooklyn," he ponders, "why is he permitted to continue? What are the rackets he conducts? Who are his agents? Why are they immune from Mayor LaGuardia's announced purpose of harassment of their kind." The EE adds, "It would seem that the Police Department chiefs would know the answers to these questions."

(Stripes = Gripes.)

New Federal excise taxes going into effect tomorrow may trigger a penny shortage in the city, and saloons and restaurants are particularly concerned because their cash registers are often not equipped to handle cent-level transactions. Some proprietors of barrooms tell the Eagle they will suffer a loss on beer and pay the tax themselves rather than try to figure out a way to make eleven-cent sales. Operators of penny arcades and gum and candy vending machine owners are expressing the fear that a penny shortage would result in fewer coins for their machines, and may also lead to the minting of more poor-quality pennies that would cause mechanical problems in their devices. Such was the case with the steel cents manufactured in 1943, which the mint was forced to discontinue after a barrage of complaints. The president of one Brooklyn concern, the Topps Chewing Gum Company, warned that since his firm deals only in penny products, a penny shortage could drive the company out of business.

(Gawblessya, Fitz. Even exiled to Philly, he's still there to do his bit for Brooklyn. WHERE'S HIS STATUE?)

(Mary Worth -- Puppetmaster!)

(There has to be an easier way to do this.)

(Jane has no use for THE IDLE CLASS.)

("Besides, haven't you heard there's a PENNY SHORTAGE!")

("Y'know, this HERO DOG stuff can be exhausting!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Spring Training for the baby boom.

PS -- Ted Collins is Kate Smith's manager. ALWAYS WORKING.

War is Heck.

'Smatter, kid, you never heard of a secret door?

"How can a dumb plainclothes dick afford EMBROIDERED HANKIES? We better tell the Commissioner!"

Ahhhh, that's the Cheery we know.

"No, dear. It's a used car dealer. Hollywood isn't like New York."

Careful, Wilmer, you're tampering with forces far beyond the ability of your simple brain to comprehend.

"Oh, I was never worried, son. Except for that time you ran away to the city and spent all that time with that prostitute."

Actually, I would gladly put that right in front of my house.

 

[Fading Fast]

"I only borrowed the money and it wasn't in exchange for, well, for what you're thinking. If 'that' happened anyway, it was incidental to the exchange of money. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." - Senga

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

A joyous Easter all.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("C'n'ya b'lieve t'ese charactehs?" snorts Sally. "Awla t'ings goin' awn inna woil', married men an' fat'ehs gett'n drafted right'n left, an' 'eehs 'leven guys got time t'hang aroun'a basem'n, shoot'n dice." "Tarrrible," nods Ma. "Y'know," continues Sally, "when me'n Joe fois' got married, he use'ta like t'gamble a little bit, him an' Solly Pincus. T'at bunch up t' t' pickle woiks was a bad infloonce, y'know? T'ey'd shoot dice, play cawrds, hang aroun' canny stoehs playin' pinbawl an' slot machines..." "SLOMMACHINE!" chirps Leonora, miming the pulling of a handle. "Slommachine MONSTA!" "Huh?" huhs Sally. "Oh these children," rushes Ma, gently placing her hand over her granddaughter's mouth. "They must be at th' comic magazines again. You know, Oi been thinkin' a naaht carryin' n'morea thim, you never know WHAT kinda influence they're pootin' in children's yoong minds. Floying aroon in a cape, foitin' maaaahnstars." "Eat NICKL'S!" blurts Leonora, wriggling from her grandmother's grip. "Y'see?" shrugs Ma. "Stay 'way fr'm t'em funny books, honey" admonishes Sally. "T'ez betteh t'ings t'read.")

City Selective Service officials today worked to spike a rumor that plans are imminent to raise the upper limit of the draft age from 38 to 40. Officials denied there is any truth to the rumor that New York City Selective Service Director Col. Arthur V. McDermott met recently with Gen. Lewis B. Hershey, national draft administrator, during which such a recommendation was said to be made. A spokesman for Col. McDermott stated today that no such meeting took place, "nor is any such meeting contemplated for the future." Nevertheless, the report persisted, especially in Queens, where it was claimed the meeting took place last Thursday, and that chairmen of draft boards thruout the city were also in attendance. It was further claimed that nearly all board chairmen from Queens agreed that the upper limit of the draft age should be raised to 40 before consideration is given to lowering the lower limit to 17.

Mayor LaGuardia and Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine will be summoned to testify before the grand jury investigating the Police Department, with the Mayor and Commissioner to be asked to explain reports that they have agreed that "things are not satisfactory in Brooklyn." Judge Louis J. Goldstein continued the March grand jury thru April 28th in order to carry on the probe, and charged jurors to "treat all alike, be they in high or low positions."

(The OSS has eyes everywhere.)

(Behold! The first box score of 1944!!!! And behold also, among all the Brooklyn Codgers, the very first appearance in a professional box score of this kid Snider, a California high school boy who, they say, has potential. A home run, yet!)

("Hmph!" hmphs Mrs. Brady "YOU AND THAT FOOL PIPE!")

("Hey!" heys Alice, leaning forward on her barrel. "T' COICUS!" "Yeh," nods Krause, as he carefully dismantles a damper bearing. "Hey Siddy," enthuses Alice. "Le's you'n me go. Le's take Willie. I bet he's neveh seen no coicus befoeh. Clowns, 'n' trapeezes, n' lions 'n tigehs n' elephants!" "Monkeys?" queries Krause, squinting at a scored bronze bushing. "Monkeys!" replies Alice, jumping to her feet. "T'ey got moeh monkeys 'n Congress!" "Yeh," grins Krause. "Monkeys!")

("WELL! Next time I'll buy my hats from Sears and Roebuck!")

("And this other boob is obviously his brother! I MEAN LOOK AT THE NOSES!")

(Disguise is one of her many accomplishments!)

(Oh don't worry, it's just loaded with rock salt and bacon rinds.)

(LOOK FOLKS! NO STUNT DOG!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

The cavalcade of 1944 brings with it strange juxtapositions.

Sigh. I can remember when phony counts were just lounge lizards.

Comic books really ARE a bad influence!

I wish Miss Snipe would show up and slap them both.

Or, hey Josie! Step up there and have a word with Jessica.

"Hey Sandy, maybe you could.... Sandy??"

"Yeah, but THEIRS had TIRES."

Poor Min. Never knows when she's well off.

"Hm?"

Actually, he looks exactly like a guy who lived on our block when I was a kid, except he didn't wear his tutu out of the house.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

Ever notice whenever they feature a cartoon of Rickey here, he always has the same abdominal-cramps expression on his face?

 

[Fading Fast]

Cops arresting criminals holding up an illegal dice game is so 1940s, especially since it was one of the dice players who called the cops. There's a "meta" joke in there somewhere.


Burma: "You short-circuited a full color dream I was working on." I think Burma just overshared with us. Note she said "working on" not "having."

 

[PrivateEye]

(Behold! The first box score of 1944!!!! And behold also, among all the Brooklyn Codgers, the very first appearance in a professional box score of this kid Snider, a California high school boy who, they say, has potential. A home run, yet!)

As the new season begins its very tempting to look up the results, but I really enjoy letting it unfold day by day.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Burma: "You short-circuited a full color dream I was working on." I think Burma just overshared with us. Note she said "working on" not "having."

Coitus Loathesome interruptus short circuit technicolour motion picture Twentieth Century-Fox production.

 

[Fading Fast]

As the new season begins its very tempting to look up the results, but I really enjoy letting it unfold day by day.

I do the same and have found myself quite into the season as if it was happening live as I have no idea how well the Dodgers did in any of these particular years.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Around this time of year I start looking around for a copy of the Street & Smith Yearbook for the new season. Last year's was a lot more optimistic about the Dodgers than they deserved. And if Vaughan sits out the season to spite Leo, they haven't got a chance.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Whassawlis now?" queries Sally, gazing thru one-way window into a playroom where Leonora sits mystified, surrounded by a variety of toys. "I t'ought we was comin' oveh heeh so you could give 'eh tests." "This *is* a test, Mrs. Petrauskas," comments Dr. Minkoff, beckoning for Sally to take a chair. "Given your daughter's age, a conventional I. Q. test presents certain challenges. But we can learn much by observing her play habits." "She ain' really gotta lotta toys," sighs Sally. "We give 'em to 'eh, you know, dolls an' t'ings, an' she fools aroun' wit'tm f'ra while, but she awrways wants t'go f' books instead. I remembeh Ma tellin' me one time she spent a whole aftehnoon oveh t't' stoeh read'na phone book. 'In-geh-sawll two one oh two eight.' 'Buck-min-steh foeh nine nine two five.' She couldn' getteh t'stawp, she'd take t'book away'f'm'eh an' she'd cry." "Fascinating," nods Dr. Minkoff, making a note in his book. "Leonora spends a lot of time with her grandmother, does she?" "Yeh," nods Sally. "Eveh since I been woikin' oveh t' Joisey. Joe useta woik t'night shift, so he'd take 'eh oveh t'eh f'ra coupla houehs an' I'd come an' get'eh when I got done. But now wit' Joe gawn, she's oveh t'eh awl day. 'Coese, t'eh was a lit'l while we was takin'eh t't noissery oveh t' Sperry's, wheh Joe was woikin'. I had 'eh wit' me in Joisey, f'ra while, oveh'rat t' Weste'n Electric t'eh, but t'ey -- well t'ey ast me not t'bring'eh inneh no moeh, she was makin' trouble." "Hmm," nods Dr. Minkoff. "What sort of trouble?" "She'd interrupt t'noisse t'eh when she was read'n'm stories," continues Sally. "She'd say 't'at ain'na way it goes!' an' yell an' holleh. I guess t'noisse was sensitive a'sump'n." "What else does she do when she's with your mother?" inquires Dr. Minkoff. "What sort of play environment does she provide?" "It's a canny stoeh," shrugs Sally. "What's t'do? Sometimes she plays wit'eh cousin Willie, lives oveh t'eh. He's my bro'teh's boy, lawng story t'eh. But t'ey play, an' sometimes Leonoreh helps Ma count nickels. She takes in a lotta nickels innat place, bags an' bags of'm. I neveh seen so many. Lotta people buyin' gum an' canny bawrs an' Cokes, I guess." "Oh yes," nods Dr. Minkoff. "Do you know if..." His thought trails off, however, as he peers thru the window to see Leonora dropping the saucers from a toy tea set into the slot made by the flaps of an upended cardboard box. "Hm," Dr. Minkoff comments. "What do you suppose she's imagining here?" "I dunno," replies Sally, watching as her daughter mimes a pulling motion at the side of the box. "I have no idea either," admits Dr. Minkoff. "Fascinating.")

The Selective Service System today served notice that it intends to carry out President Roosevelt's orders that occupationally-deferred men who are "fit to bear arms" be inducted into the service as soon as possible without wrecking war production. General Lewis B. Hershey, national Selective Service director, declared that the new policy "admits of no refusal by any person for whose protection victory must be won." He added that if such a policy means the rest of the country must work that much harder "in shop or office, in mine or on farm -- that is a contribution for victory." The latest issue of the Selective Service bulletin distributed to all draft boards warns that the March 1 thru July 1 induction quota must stand at 1,000,800 men in order to reach the goal of a stabilized Armed Forces strength of 11,300,000 men by July 1st. In the wake of the President's order, a new joint committee headed by War Manpower Director Paul V. McNutt will meet tomorrow to announce the procedure to be followed in what deferrments will remain for men under the age of 26 now in war-critical jobs.

Two 16-year-old youths charged with grand larceny in the theft of a taxicab were admonished from the bench by Magistrate J. Roland Sala for drinking whiskey chased with beer. Joseph Zimmer of 1834 Albany Avenue and Thomas Stokes of 301 E. 34th Street were arrested early Saturday near Kingston Avenue and Empire Boulevard in East Flatbush, sitting in a cab owned by Michael Terimini of 1117 Empire Boulevard. Terimini testified that he had left the cab in front of his home while he went inside to eat his dinner, and when he came out the vehicle was missing. The two youths admitted they had been on a drinking spree in Manhattan before stealing the cab. Magistrate Sala released them to the custody of their parents pending an appearance tomorrow in Adolescent Court, and left them with a stern warning. "Don't you boys know," he declared, "you can't drink boilermakers until you have hair on your chests?"

Readers have divergent views concerning the art department controversy at Brooklyn College. Reader Ruth A. Carson writes in to praise the Eagle for exposing the "downright obscenity and degeneracy as found in the publications 'View' and 'VVV,'" and denounces "the pseudointellectuals placing such literature before immature minds." But reader William Ahern notes that both publications have been cleared for mailing by the Post Office Department, and further points out that "the Bauhaus was one of the three finest art schools in Europe" between the wars. He notes that "Moholy-Nagy has written a splendid book describing the aims and achievements of the Bauhaus, and it is worth the trouble to examine it for whatever 'subversion' and 'lasciviousness' it may contain."

(Frenchy AND Frankie? Hey, maybe they can do a trio number with Fitz!!!)

Dodger Dixie Walker estimates that he delivered more than 250 speeches during his winter tour of Army camps in Alaska and the Aleutian Islands, and agrees with Lefty Gomez's comment that at least one-third of all the men now serving in the Armed Forces are (a.) from Brooklyn and (b.) are Dodger fans. Of all the hundreds of men Dixie encountered over the course of the winter, he says he came across exactly one Giant fan.

(And where's Mr. Barber's statue, hm?)

(I don't know how much they're paying Sidney Greenstreet for doing this part, but it isn't enough.)

(Look, I don't know who's actually writing this strip, but do you really think making Bugs a Jack Benny-like fall guy is the way to go???)

(Ew.)

(AND THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE KIDS.)

(He certainly seems to be adapting well.)

(And yes, snickering third graders, "organ pumper" is an actual job.)

(And this is why meddling old busybodies should MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

Also...

(Ma looks up at the sign behind the counter reading "Waiting For A Call? Try A Delicious Lieb's Egg Cream!" and snickers. "Amatchoors!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Well, she doesn't SOUND like someone who would hang out with Nazi agents from the Argentine, ohhhh noooo.....

You can tell which direction the trial is going by who gets shown in a ridiculous unflattering picture.

"KP again, huh? You should be like that old guy in the next barracks, that Joe Petrooski or whatever his name is. He's not only good at it, he seems to LIKE it!"

"EX-actor." Oooh, that STINGS.

Even better, I think Bull Moose *IS* William Bendix.

Come onnnnnn. LET'S SEE WHO'S UNDER THOSE WHISKERS! And fooey on Doc, doesn't he know short term rentals ruin neighborhoods?

C'mon, Moon, let's see that Pepsodent smile.

Everything's a game.

Ah, Mr. Mosley. Always ready to interrupt a meandering story with obscure aviation lore. And "Dumb Dora" was an actual sure-nough comic strip until it was cancelled in 1936, and condemned to a long, weird afterlife selling cereal. Which I guess beats being eaten by sharks like "Sparky Watts."

Ahh, Cheery's traditional weakness -- overthinking a scheme.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And finally --

It's really unusual for a supporting player in a Chaplin picture to get this kind of billing.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Student days of yore tumble down memory lane. Some tale had Getty telling Playboy magnate Hugh Hefner about his younger days along Barbary Coast Malibu beach. Hefner as entrepreneur held similar case study analysis with Getty and his understudy Aristotle Onassis.

Burma has a sure sense of self. She at least should soon encounter Terrence and reunion.