LizzieMaine
Bartender
- Messages
- 33,755
- Location
- Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
("Las' time I'm gonna eat lunch wit'ta two'a yez," sighs Joe. "Las' night I'm gonna be woikin' heeh. Hawrd't'b'lieve it's been oveh two yeehs." "You really been heeh t'at lawng?" replies Mozelewski, pushing aside a copy of Women's Wear Daily. "It don' seem like." "I been heeh longeh'r'n you," shrugs Joe. "Oh yeh," nods Mozelewski. "I guess t'at IS right, ain'it." "Ain' gonna be t'same wit'outcha," adds Miss Kaplan, taking a deep swig of tepid coffee. "Gillmoeh give ya ya c'tificate yet?" "Nah," dismisses Joe. "T'ey tol' me inna awfice t'ey was gonna mail it out 'na coupla weeks. Maybe I'll hang it up inna barracks a'sump'n, nexta t'is pitcheh Sal gimme." "One'a t'em kinda pitchehs, huh" winks Miss Kaplan. "No, no," flushes Joe. "Ahhhh, ya'ra lousy lieh," smirks Miss Kaplan. "She got it took at Loeseh's," retorts Joe. "Look heeh, I'll show yez." Joe produces his wallet, and flashes it open. "Whassat she got awn?" puzzles Miss Kaplan. "She a waitress 'a sump'n?" "At's 'eh weddin' dress," declares Joe. "Darin'," comments Mozelewski. "Dunno 'bout t'at colleh t'ough." "Shut up t'bot'ayez," growls Joe. "It's sennamental." "Yeh," proclaims Miss Kaplan, "it ain' gonna be t'same wit'outcha.")
One thousand men were lost recently in the sinking of an American troop ship in the North Atlantic, a loss described as the worst maritime disaster of its type in U. S. military history. Authorities declined to reveal the exact date of the sinking, or the specific location, but have confirmed that the sinking took place "due to enemy action" in a heavy sea. The report also confirms that "about as many men as were lost" were saved from the sinking transport ship. It was further noted that the date of the sinking is being withheld because "there is reason to believe that the enemy does not know of the magnitude of his success on this occasion."
Among the 20,000 rare and unusual dolls on display at the fifth annual American Doll Show, opening today at 5th Avenue and 14th Street in Manhattan are those making up the wistful collection of a tough Army veteran of the Guadalcanal campaign. Sergeant Leonard Young of Brooklyn will display several dolls that accompanied him during his service in that battle, including a "pin up" Betty Grable doll, and a flashy three-incher in full Wild West regalia. The sergeant has named that doll "Pistol Packin' Mama." The exhibition, organized by the American Hobby Federation, will continue thru February 29th.
("Yeh," sighs Sally, "I been tawkin' t'ev'rbody. Ma an' Uncle Frank's gonna be t'eh, Jimmy an' Danny, t' Ginsboigs. An' if Mildred Kelly tries t'gimme any lip about absenteein', she c'n kiss my rosy red..." "Me 'n Siddy'll be t'eh," confirms Alice. "Mildred Kelly c'n kiss mine too." "I still can't b'lieve he's goin'," Sally continues. "I mean, it ain' like he oughta be anybody special, eve'nough he is, but I jus' figyehed it'd awl be oveh bef'oeh t'ey got aroun' to 'im." "I ast Siddy las' night," relates Alice. "He was inna las wawr, y'know. An' I ast 'im what it was like. Y'know, goin' t'camp, 'n 'nen gett'n shipped oveh t' France -- an' awllat. He says it don' seem real when y'get t'eh at fois', like awlofasudd'n ev'ryt'ing don' make no sense. Like one'a ya -- you eveh seem t'em whatchacawl surreal paint'ns? Wit' stuff awl scrambled up like it's awl crazy? He says it's kinda like t'at." "Oh," ohs Sally. She is silent for a long moment. "Joe don' like t'em kinda paint'ns. He likes stuff t'at makes sense." "He's livin' inna wrong woil'," sighs Alice. "Yeh," nods Sally.)
(Reality.)
(He isn't wrong.)
(Wait, Leo's gonna play second base? Every base runner in the National League just started sharpening his spikes.)
(You could go back to New York, you know, the dialogue there couldn't be as bad as all this.)
(The resemblance is, truly, remarkable.)
(I was wondering who was finally going to point that out.)
(Who says there's never a cowboy around when you need one?)
(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG never shies from a difficult job. HEY JUNIOR, TALK TO HIM.)