The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

When my father stole my grandparents' war bonds, he didn't have any trouble cashing them in...

PRE WAR inner tubes! And no, they haven't been sitting in the sun for the past two years!

Without observant night watchmen, no crimes would ever be solved.

Canning is always more fun than eating.

DAMMIT, Punjab! QUIT FOOLING AROUND!

That ain't all he's spreading!

Light dawns over Marblehead.

And the magistrate just rolls his eyes...

Well played, Lieutenant.

Back to business as usual!

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

Fitz deserves far far better than this. I'm genuinely disgusted that Rickey would force him into this kind of a setup. MacPhail was insane but at least he was also a genius. Cox is just a rich jackass.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Meanwhile, in Philadelphia...

*snif*

 

[Fading Fast]

...

(Sixteen-month-old Leonora Petrauskas of 1762 63rd Street, questioned on the topic, stated "SPPPPPPPPPPPPPT!")
...

Riffing on the famous line, Leonora spits out a full sentence, "I say they're beats, and I say to h*ll with them."

Joe and Sally stare in shocked silence at each other.

...
("Lookit t'bums," fumes Sally. "T'oid place. T'at Rickey is wreckin'a whole team. Well, we'eh gonna putta stop t'tat. Read t'at back t'me again." "'We t'eh unnehsigned," reads Alice from a Big Chief tablet, "bein' of soun' min' an' Dodgeh fans, do heehby deman' t'at Fred'rick L. Fitzsimm'ns be retoined foetwit' t' t' Brooklyn club, an'nat W. Branch Rickey be sent post-haste t'Philadelphia by retoin mail.' I dunno, Sal, I t'ink it needs t'be strawngeh." "Yeh," nods Sally. "Lemme t'ink." "Hey," offers Alice. "Howbout t'is? 'An'nat W. Branch Rickey, T'AT FATHEAD, be sent post-haste t'Philadelphia by retoin mail.' Howzat?" "Poifect," nods Sally." "Oh, an' let's add a PS -- 't'eh Giants can keep Medwick.'")
...

Joe has no idea how happy he is that he's at work.

foetwit'

...

(Hey, isn't that Pat Ryan's old suit?)
...

With war rationing, the comicstrips' wardrobe departments have all agreed to share.

...

(Actually, hippos are known to be very emphathetic.)
...

This is a very solvable problem:

...

(He's going to send it to Irwin. Poor man hasn't had a decent meal in months.)
...

"Who's Irwin?"

And in the Daily News...

When my father stole my grandparents' war bonds, he didn't have any trouble cashing them in...
...

I think the News made a typo and meant to write "They were not registered in her name."

Did your father have the same name as your grandfather?

...

Well played, Lieutenant.
...

No kidding, that's Joss' best line ever.

Taffy's full and uncensored line, "Oh, Pat Ryan, I'm so glad to see you, is that your bayonet or are you happy to see me, too?"

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

The brunette in Dan Dunn always catches my eye whatever Danno is book 'em.

Taffy's silhouette is as close to a nude as ever likely to be seen here.

 

[Fading Fast]

The brunette in Dan Dunn always catches my eye whatever Danno is book 'em.

Taffy's silhouette is as close to a nude as ever likely to be seen here.

Note panel one from Monday's "invisible Scarlet:"

Even having seen it, now, for years, I'm still always a bit amazed at the amount to soft-core porn that was in comicstrips in the '30s and '40s.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I'll keep an eye on Ms Invisible's strip from now on.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Huh," huhs Joe. "Sez heeh read'na funnies is betteh'n goin' to one'a t'em psychia-trists. You read t'funnies much, Ma?" "Oh, from toime to toime," replies Ma. "I was verry faand'a that Little Arrrphan Annie a few yarrs back. Remembar when she had thaat Nick Gatt in tharr? Sheer naansense a'caarse, but he was a foine-lookin' man." "Betteh not let Uncle Frank heeh ya say t'at," snickers Joe. "Ahhhh, Fraancis haad his ooon pref'rances. Oi remembarr one toime he slipped oop an' caaaled me 'Boorma.'" "Hah!" hahs Joe. "What was ya doin' when'NAT happ'nt?" "Oooooooh," recalls Ma, fingering the top button of her dress. "Noothin' a'tall.")

The number of Japanese ships sunk by American submarines rose to 210 today as preliminary reports indicated that Allied shipping losses, which reached a record breaking low last month, would show an increase in July. The extent of German submarine success during the month now ending is not due for official disclosure for another two weeks, but there was evidence that enemy submarines were more active in July than in June. Among other factors, they had more targets to shoot at because of the vast number of ships involved in the Sicilian invasion.

After having their hopes for an immediate increase in the meat supply dashed, New York consumers today looked forward to a promise from the War Food Administration that more meat will come within the next ten days. A WFA order yesterday which made a cut of fifteen percent in the amount of beef slaughterers must set aside for the Government does not apply to to kosher slaughterers in the Northeast. The coming increase in supply will result from a greater supply of meat for civilian consumers expected to be available from slaughterhouses in the Midwest.

Firemen will be returned to the former schedule of twelve-hour shifts should Fire Commissioner Patrick Walsh make such a request. So stated Mayor LaGuardia yesterday in adding to the ranks 38 temporary firemen, hired for the duration of the war at $2000 a year. With 600 New York firemen in the Armed Forces, vacancies in the Fire Department ranks are now approaching 1200, and an increase in the length of shifts may be required to insure that all fire stations are properly staffed. Commissioner Walsh indicated that he will make a decision on the matter within the next ten days, after reviewing a list of 1200 Civil Service applications in search of candidates for Fire Department positions. If he cannot fill the vacancies from that list, the Commissioner expects that there will be no other alternative than requiring present firemen to work longer hours.

The State War Council advised Mayor LaGuardia yesterday that it has no authority to order a rent freeze in the city, and with no further legal avenues open, the rent situation remains in the hands of the landlords. In a report to the Mayor, the Office of Price Administration concluded that so far, landlords have conducted themselves "admirably" in keeping rent increases over the past year to a mere two-tenths of one percent. The OPA concluded from those figures that it saw no valid reason for imposing a rent freeze -- but the OPA also warned that should landlords show signs of exploiting the present situation, it would not hesitate to impose a freeze.

(I don't even have to see it to know that "What's Buzzin' Cousin?" with Ann Miller, John Hubbard, and Rochester is as 1943 a movie as a movie can possibly be.)

(WOO HOO COFFEE RATIONING IS OVER! Now, who's got the sausage?)

(Better hope you don't, kid...)

("C'mon, Krause," hastens Sally. "We ain' got awl night. Jus' sign t't'ing so we'c'n get downtown in time f't' late movie crowds." "I dunno," demurs Krause. "T'is ain' like t'at 'Free Oil Browdeh" t'ing you was passin' aroun' las' winteh, is it? I do'wanna get in no trouble." "No no no no no no," dismisses Sally. "I tol' ya befoeh, it's t' make t'Dodgehs get Fitz back an' get ridda t'at fathead Rickey. Ev'rybody's signin' it. Look heeh, Misteh an' Miss's Ginsboig signed it, right t'eah. Ain'nat right, Alice?" "Yeh," nods Alice. "Misteh G. was t'fois' one t'sign. An'nen he says to us, he says 'geyt avek!' So ya KNOW he means it!" "Y'see?" continues Sally. "T'verse'a t'people! Now sign it an' we'll leave ya 'lone." "Welll..." hesitates Krause. "Sid, lissen heeh," interjects Alice. She leans over and whispers in Krause's ear. His eyes blink open. He gazes at her. She winks. He signs.)

(Not only has he got Pat's suit, he's got Pat's moves.)

("Dear Mr. Stamm. We the undersigned, members of the Society For The Prevention of Disparaging Remarks About Hippos...")

(That poor fish. He was dying to be a star.)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG KEEPS HIS TRIM FIGURE BY CAREFUL DIETING)

(CHANGED MY MIND, says Trix. NO FREELANCING FOR ME!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Just when you think that ol' "Handstand In The Lobby of the Metropolitan Opera" Knight has vanished forever from Page Four, he surprises you yet again.

He'll be even sorrier if he gets on the subway like that.

"Here, take this benzedrine."

"No, really," chortles Punjab. "I learned how from this book." "Ahhh, Punjab is wise," smirks the Asp. "'How To Throw Your Voice!" "I saw an ad," nods the wizard, "in the back of Henchman's Digest."

Well, judging from the size of that locket, it isn't Jerome Strohs...

"Oh yes," smiles Jon Stardust in his handsome way. "Hypnotism is one of my many accomplishments."

"Just what are you suggesting, Mr. Jeepers? Because, you know, I'm up for it."

"Just be careful with that needle!"

I used to dunk my father's cigarettes in bleach -- but I was three years old when I did it.

Poor fish in a barrel.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

Yeah, this is EXACTLY what Rickey is doing -- he's backing up the truck, and the only question now is who's next. I imagine Camilli and Wyatt, to name two, are getting very nervous right now.

This isn't how Sally met Joe. People were much more refined in 1937. He just said "hey, toots, ya wanna step? and she said "tookya lawnganuff t'ask!"

 

[Fading Fast]

("Huh," huhs Joe. "Sez heeh read'na funnies is betteh'n goin' to one'a t'em psychia-trists. You read t'funnies much, Ma?" "Oh, from toime to toime," replies Ma. "I was verry faand'a that Little Arrrphan Annie a few yarrs back. Remembar when she had thaat Nick Gatt in tharr? Sheer naansense a'caarse, but he was a foine-lookin' man." "Betteh not let Uncle Frank heeh ya say t'at," snickers Joe. "Ahhhh, Fraancis haad his ooon pref'rances. Oi remembarr one toime he slipped oop an' caaaled me 'Boorma.'" "Hah!" hahs Joe. "What was ya doin' when'NAT happ'nt?" "Oooooooh," recalls Ma, fingering the top button of her dress. "Noothin' a'tall.")
...

Stop, stop right there. If there is one constant in the universe, it's that no generation wants to hear their parents talk about their sex life, ever.

...

The number of Japanese ships sunk by American submarines rose to 210 today as preliminary reports indicated that Allied shipping losses, which reached a record breaking low last month, would show an increase in July. The extent of German submarine success during the month now ending is not due for official disclosure for another two weeks, but there was evidence that enemy submarines were more active in July than in June. Among other factors, they had more targets to shoot at because of the vast number of ships involved in the Sicilian invasion.
...

We know of three subs the Germans lost, well, two officially.

...

He'll be even sorrier if he gets on the subway like that.
...

My Depression Era parents and the bulk of their Depression Era friends (with a notable exception here and there) were not only savers, they were simply not spenders. I know that sounds like a tautology, but the difference is their mindset was simply not to spend, to make do, to fix it, to stretch it another year, to ignore the "new thing others had to have." Yes, saving came out of that, but they weren't fighting their urge to spend as they emerged from the Depression wired not to spend. It's hard to understand how deep that went into their psyche if you haven't seen it first hand.

...

"Just be careful with that needle!"
...

It's been my experience that, that works better if you take the pants off first. (And, yes, this same comment could have also been posted below "Gasoline Alley" today.)

And also...

Yeah, this is EXACTLY what Rickey is doing -- he's backing up the truck, and the only question now is who's next. I imagine Camilli and Wyatt, to name two, are getting very nervous right now.
...

It would be hard to take the other side of that argument as it seems, sadly, to be exactly what he's doing.

You have to feel bad for Fitz.

...

This isn't how Sally met Joe. People were much more refined in 1937. He just said "hey, toots, ya wanna step? and she said "tookya lawnganuff t'ask!"

There was girl in high school who had Sue's problem - her family didn't use deodorant or bathe daily. She was pungent. Finally, some of the other girls explained the reality of the situation to her and things improved, but she was never a hygiene example.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Looking beyond Terrence's pencil a minute or two I believe Taffy is about to remember herself and the question
looms-Flip or Ryan to remain in her heart.

Corkin had the best argument and seemed genuinely smitten. Patrick rather nonchalantly almost indifferent,
just your American Clark Gable soldier of fortune type fresh out of central studio casting.

I feel for the southern marine. Lad kicked curbside and led away by the constable. Poor bloke.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Pat's heart, for real and all, belongs to Normandie. And Normandie, eternal chump of all the earth, is married to Tony Sandhurst, one of nature's ignoblemen, even though the daughter who carries Sandhurst's name is obviously Pat's. I doubt Taffy will ever be able to penetrate all of that, and Pat knows it too.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Axes," chuckles Joe. "I guess sump'n like t'at could do a woil'a damage on a, well,les'say a back room inna canny stoeh." "How you talk, Joseph," dismisses Ma with a bemused shake of her head. "I'll have ye know candy stoores are t'backbone a' neiggghbarhood loife. Ahhh, I supoose thar's some that..." "Telegram f' Miss'is Nora Sweeney," interrupts a young woman in a Western Union uniform. Joe snaps to attention as Ma dips into the till for a quarter tip, and the messenger scurries off. The only sounds are the hum of the ice cream freezer, the rumble of a passing Rogers Avenue trolley, and the rustle of paper as Ma tears open the envelope and withdraws the single folded sheet. The clock seems to stop as she scans its contents. "Thaaanks be t'Gaahd," she finally exhales. "He's alive?" whispers Joe. "Report just received thru the Internaation'l Red Crahhs," reads Ma, "states that ye son, Proivate Michael P. Sweeney, is a prisonarr of the Garrman Goovernment. Letter oov infarrmation fallows from Provost Marshal Genr'al. Soined, J A Ulio, Adjutant General." There is another long moment of silence as Ma gazes at the yellow sheet. "Well'en," begins Joe with forced enthusiasm. "'At's good news, ain't? Why, Mickey'll be outta t'eh in no time! Jus' like awrways, right?" Ma shoots Joe a wounded stare as he realizes what he said. "I mean," he stammers, his face reddening, "I mean, t'wawr's gonna be oveh soon, right? Befo'eh Chris'mas, even..." "Surre, Joseph," exhales Ma. "Befarr Chris'mas...")

Eight square blocks of crowded tenements in the most densely-populated section of Brownsville will be demolished to make way for up-to-date, scientifically-designed dwelling houses for 1338 families. The order signed by Supreme Court Justice Charles C. Lockwood provides for construction to begin on the project after the war, as soon as labor and materials are available. The court order gives the city title to 252 separate pieces of property now occupying those eight square blocks. With the New York City Housing Authority having acquired 143 of those properties by direct purchase, the trial for condemnation will involve only 109 parcels. Their value will be fixed by Justice Lockwood, after the owners present claims of value thru the testimony of real estate experts. The owners of the 109 parcels had previously declined an offer of what the city considered a fair price based on the present assessment of the properties totalling $850,000. The total cost of the Brownsville housing project is estimated at $8,260,000.

A 26-year-old Brownsville man faces grand larceny charges for the theft of 78 pairs of nylon stockings from the May's Department Store at 510 Fulton Street. Barney Goldstein of 56 Bristol Street was employed as a clerk in the store, and confessed to stealing the bundle of ladies' hosiery found in his possession when he was arrested by detectives on July 29th. It is charged that, between last December and his arrest, Goldstein stole approximately 1800 pairs of stockings, with a total value of $2400. Police noted that Goldstein has a criminal record consisting of four previous arrests and two convictions on felony charges.

("God helps those who help themselves." -- B. Franklin.)

The revocation of the ban on pleasure driving has been delayed for at least ten days. to allow War Mobilization Director James F. Byrnes more time to complete his survey of the present gasoline situation. Observers in touch with the Washington situation, however, believe that Mr. Byrnes is likely to approve the lifting of the ban. The Director's comments are believed also to indicate that an increase may be imminent in the amount of gasoline allocated for each A coupon, even if the ban on pleasure driving is not lifted.

The Office Of Price Administration may be forced "within the next few days" to declare rent control for New York City, Mayor LaGuardia predicted today. The Mayor's projection comes even after the OPA indicated that it does not see the need for rent control in the city at the present time, with the Mayor explaining that the rulings by the OPA and the State War Council will likely be interpreted by landlords as "a green light" to raise rents across the board.

("Why Women Cry...")

("Triumph Over Pain?" I'm sorry, Mr. Sturges, but you'll really have to change that title.)

The sale of the Blue Network by the Radio Corporation of America to candy executive Edward J. Noble for $8,000,000 cash was announced today by RCA president David Sarnoff. The sale of the chain, formerly part of the National Broadcasting Company, is being made in conformity with new regulations on the ownership of radio networks established by the Federal Communications Commission, which prohibit the ownership of more than one network by any single entity. RCA will retain ownership of the former NBC Red Network. Noble, the chairman of Life Savers, Inc., stated today that the entire current workforce will be retained, and the network will continuing functioning as before. The sale also includes station WJZ, which requires, under the new FCC regulations, that Noble sell the New York station he currently owns, WMCA.

("Lookit awlese names," declares Sally. "Hun'neds 'n hun'eds a' names. T'at'll show t'at fathead who's bawss." "Well, less hol' awff on send'n it in," suggests Alice. "I mean, if'ee makes Hoiman manageh, he's gonna HAFTA try t'get Petey back, right? Hoiman's too ol' t' play an' manage, ain'ee?" "Yeh," replies Sally, with a vindictive scowl. "An' t'way Petey's been playin' lately, I bet t'eh Pittsboigs'll make'im pay t'ru his big fat nose!" "Too bad about Leo, t'ough," shrugs Alice. "Din'choo name Leonoreh afteh him?" "T'at was in 1941," frowns Sally. "He was winnin' t'en. Now he's jus'a'noteh bum. Nine anna half games out! Wois'n Boily Grimes was. Wois'n Stengel!" "T'em guys neveh won no pennant t'ough," notes Alice. "T'ey awrways come in six't 'a seven't." "It'sa principle a't'ting," argues Sally with complete finality. "He's right about Hig t'ough," chuckles Alice. "Hig don' do nut'n smawrt!")

Freddie Fitzsimmons guided his Phillies to another hairline victory last night, edging out the Cardinals in 11 innings by the score of 3-2. Meanwhile, Fitz's deposed predecessor Bucky Harris said today that he'd heard "a week ago" that he was about to be terminated by Phils owner William Cox, but he "just couldn't believe it."

Two ex-Dodgers also figured prominently in the Philadelphia Athletics' 3-2 victory yesterday over the St. Louis Browns. Outfielder Dick Siebert, who last played for Brooklyn in 1936, and is now with the A's, homered in the 11th off none other than the recent stormy petrel of Flatbush, Bobo Newsom, who has fared poorly since his return to the Browns.

(I don't care what you do, just do it with the door shut.)

(Anteaters *are* kinda cute, at that.)

(Mr. Andriola found a new Cary Grant headshot to swipe from.)

(How every unfortunate conversation in this family begins: WHERE IS BO, JUNIOR?)

("You're right! I'll take a gross!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News....

I wish Mr. Knight was a woman, so he could marry Tommy Manville. They'd deserve each other.

"Hipmare and Wristlock" are not a nightclub tango-dancing team, but they should be.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick....

Oh you little scamp. Now why don't you run along and sink another U-Boat...

"Well actually," says Chief Brandon, "I'm interested in hearing about a big woman. I mean, um, how big exactly?"

C'mon, Nina, you've known her since high school. She's EXACTLY like that.

"Z? "ZZZZZander? TOWNSEND Zander?

Next time spend the two bucks on a babysitter.

I mean, you can see where Kayo learned it.

"Should I untie him now, Aunt Honey?" "No. And here's a dime for you, go get an ice cream. A large one."

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

The Phils are a powder keg, and Bucky Harris is the fuse. Poor Fitz...

 

[Fading Fast]

...

Eight square blocks of crowded tenements in the most densely-populated section of Brownsville will be demolished to make way for up-to-date, scientifically-designed dwelling houses for 1338 families. The order signed by Supreme Court Justice Charles C. Lockwood provides for construction to begin on the project after the war, as soon as labor and materials are available. The court order gives the city title to 252 separate pieces of property now occupying those eight square blocks. With the New York City Housing Authority having acquired 143 of those properties by direct purchase, the trial for condemnation will involve only 109 parcels. Their value will be fixed by Justice Lockwood, after the owners present claims of value thru the testimony of real estate experts. The owners of the 109 parcels had previously declined an offer of what the city considered a fair price based on the present assessment of the properties totalling $850,000. The total cost of the Brownsville housing project is estimated at $8,260,000.
...

It's painful to read about these housing project getting started knowing how horrible they have been since the 1970. To this day, they are still disasters that no amount of money can ever seem to fix.

...

A 26-year-old Brownsville man faces grand larceny charges for the theft of 78 pairs of nylon stockings from the May's Department Store at 510 Fulton Street. Barney Goldstein of 56 Bristol Street was employed as a clerk in the store, and confessed to stealing the bundle of ladies' hosiery found in his possession when he was arrested by detectives on July 29th. It is charged that, between last December and his arrest, Goldstein stole approximately 1800 pairs of stockings, with a total value of $2400. Police noted that Goldstein has a criminal record consisting of four previous arrests and two convictions on felony charges.
...

I'm just surprised there were 1800 pairs of stocking available to be stolen. The books and movies of the day paint a picture of women starved for stockings.

...
("Lookit awlese names," declares Sally. "Hun'neds 'n hun'eds a' names. T'at'll show t'at fathead whose bawss." "Well, less hol' awff on send'n it in," suggests Alice. "I mean, if'ee makes Hoiman manageh, he's gonna HAFTA try t'get Petey back, right? Hoiman's to ol' t' play an' manage, ain'ee?" "Yeh," replies Sally, with a vindictive scowl. "An' t'way Petey's been playin' lately, I bet t'eh Pittsboigs'll make'im pay t'ru his big fat nose!" "Too bad about Leo, t'ough," shrugs Alice. "Din'choo name Leonoreh afteh him?" "T'at was in 1941," frowns Sally. "He was winnin' t'en. Now he's jus'a'noteh bum. Nine anna half games out! Wois'n Boily Grimes was. Wois'n Stengel!" "T'em guys neveh won no pennant t'ough," notes Alice. "T'ey awrways come in six't 'a seven't." "It'sa principle a't'ting," argues Sally with complete finality. "He's right about Hig t'ough," chuckles Alice. "Hig don' do nut'n smawrt!")
...

Yes, it's time for Kermit to comment again.

...

(I don't care what you do, just do it with the door shut.)

...

These two are going to need to have a safe-word very soon.

...

"Hipmare and Wristlock" are not a nightclub tango-dancing team, but they should be.
...

More payroll robberies - which was a very big 1940s thing - should end this way.

...

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick....
...

Taffy's no Raven Sherman, but do you really think Caniff will kill off another reasonably significant character? I think he's setting up a Joss or Patrick hero moment as one of them will pull Taffy to safety when the bombing starts.

...

Oh you little scamp. Now why don't you run along and sink another U-Boat...
...

That seems really out of character for Annie. Sure she's a ten-year-old girl, but she's no ordinary ten-year-old girl.

Editor: "Gray, get in here, I want to talk to you about scale."
Gray: "What's scale?"
Editor: "Exactly."

And also...

The Phils are a powder keg, and Bucky Harris is the fuse. Poor Fitz...

No kidding, this is textbook dysfunctional-organization stuff.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Pat's heart, for real and all, belongs to Normandie. And Normandie, eternal chump of all the earth, is married to Tony Sandhurst, one of nature's ignoblemen, even though the daughter who carries Sandhurst's name is obviously Pat's. I doubt Taffy will ever be able to penetrate all of that, and Pat knows it too.

I'll admit the previous day's silhouette of Taffy gave inkling of what she has on offer. Terrence's pencil has that
silhouette sensuousness in the jungle card trick down cold.

A bombing run and wide open cover is hazardous to sensuous silhouettes who disappear for an eternal rest.
Rouge is a fiend who deserved justice but I'm worried over Taffy.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Y'SEEE? Y'SEEE?" bellows Sally, her finger jabbing at the bottom of the front page, as Joe sits on a stool examining the latest issue of Whiz Comics while Leonora applies vanilla ice cream to the side of her neck. "I TOL' ya he'd get ridda Camilli nex' an'ne wen' right ahead an' done it! NOW willya let me leave a p'tition heeh?" "I told ye beforre, daughter," sighs Ma, "I don' waant noo trooble!" "WHY DOES EV'RYBODY SAY T"AT WHEN I COME AROUN' WIT' A PETITION?!" erupts Sally, her face red with frustration. "O'ive got enough to warry aboot with ye broother in a prison camp," continues Ma, "withoot worryin' aboot anoothar visit from those boys that shoowed oop when Alice Dooley was sendin' Doorocher those telegrams. Are'nt YE worried abouut ye brotharr?" Sally pauses, her breath coming in heavy gasps, and looks for a long moment at her mother. "T'eh ain' nut'n I c'n do f'Mickey," she replies in an even voice. "He's weh he is an' I'm weh I am. An'neh ain' nut'n I c'n do, a' you c'n do, a' nobody c'n do excep' keep doin' what weeh doin'. BUT T'IS FATHEAD RICKEY! *T'AT* I CAN DO SUMP'N ABOUT!" "Aaaaal roit," sighs Ma, "ye c'n leave ye petition, f'raaal the good it'll do." "T'anks Ma," grins Sally, "I knew y'd see it my way." "Well, wait now," interjects Ma, as Sally wipes the ice cream off her daughter's cheeks. "Where ye off too now?" "Oh, I'm meet'n Alice out t'Fawrest Hills. We gotta -- see somebody about sump'n. I won' be lawng." "Don' f'get ya pocke'book," reminds Joe, lifting the leather satchel from the counter and wincing with surprise. "KIn'a heavy, ain' it?" "Sally Marie Sweeney!" scolds Ma. "You aiiin't carryin' BRICKS again are ye?" "Soitenly not!" huffs Sally. "You know I don' do t'at no moeh." Joe and Ma give her a squint. "I jus' foun' a piece of a loose cobblestone inna alley, t'at's awl. BACK SOON!")

Yugoslav guerillas, slashing their way thru Italian lines, have fought their way into the Udine district of northwestern Italy, while other sizable forces of Gen. Draja Mikhailovitch's patriot army have begun a strong attack against German troops along the old Austro-Croatian frontier, a Yugoslav spokesman stated last night. A report received in Stockholm also noted that revolting Albanians have reconquered half of their country, and are driving toward the coast, meeting little resistance from withdrawing Italian troops. German tank forces are said to be pouring into the Balkans to reinforce garrisons from which Italian troops are understood to be withdrawing. German Balkan units under the command of Field Marshal Erwin Rommel are understood to be taking hasty precautions against the possibility of patriot uprisings or an Allied invasion. Reliable reports received in Cairo indicate that German units in Larissa, Greece are forcibly disarming Italian troops, indicating "open dissatisfaction" among the thirty to forty Italian units in the Balkans, and an apparent Nazi conclusion that Italy is already out of the war.

Former Republican presidential candidate Alfred M. Landon last night accused President Roosevelt of "life-term ambition," and asserted that the Administration is planning "Fascism after the war." The 1936 GOP nominee, defeated by President Roosevelt in an 46-state landslide, declared in a radio speech that "even now, schisms and hatred stalk the land," and further charged that "disorder is increasing and inflation is imminent." He concluded with a prediction of a "bitter election" in 1944, with current conditions "the preview of life as it will be permanently under the New Deal gone to seed, an arbitrary bureaucracy leading to Fascism or Nazism, and the death-knell of individual freedom." Mr. Landon's broadcast was a response to a speech last week by Vice President Henry Wallace, charging that "American Fascists" are working to undermine the Administration's war effort.

Grimly-maintained official secrecy shrouds the investigation of the bizarre mystery surrounding the death of 30-year-old oil heiress Janet Snowden-Sirigganno-Gill, whose nude body was hurled from a 16th-floor window in her apartment at the Savoy-Plaza Hotel nearly two months ago. A grand jury is expected to receive the case after autopsy results are revealed, following the exhumation of the body from a cemetery in Ardsley, N. Y.. The exhumation and autopsy were ordered by Assistant District Attorney Jacob Grumet, head of the homicide division of the Manhattan District Attorney's office, and the body was taken last week to Bellevue Hospital where it was examined yesterday by Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Thomas Gonzalez in the first step of an autopsy which will include a chemical analysis. Acting District Attorney Sol Gelb indicated yesterday that there will be no public statement released until that investigation is completed. Captain William Sherman Gill of the Intelligence Division of the US Army was in the apartment with Mrs. Gill when she exited mysteriously by the window.

(Anything to keep the boys out of Red Hook!)

Reader Harry G. Anderson writes in to praise the unwavering spirit of Home that is characteristic of our dear Brooklyn. "'Stand up, beautiful hills of Brooklyn,' as Walt Whitman said! True, the windows are still unwashed along the civic center, though the L has been taken down. And our tempo may be slower than Manhattan. But it is our home. There is of course, the Gowanus Canal, which malodorously flows on. But where else can one find such loyalty to a team like the faltering Dodgers? Brooklyn -- the indwelling spirit of the home is here! And there are churches -- a city of them! Brooklyn -- high on the scroll of heroes on the far flung battle line! Brooklyn -- a country town? Perhaps -- but God made the country and man made the town!"

("I had to do it, don't you see?" stammers Mr. Rickey. "The man is thirty-six years old, thirty-six years old! You will observe from his record this season that age is taking its toll on that once-mighty swing. His vision dims, his reflexes fail, he no longer stands tall and proud at the bag -- I tell you, I had to do it! Had to do it! Besides, his salary! We can no longer afford such extravagance!" "Have some lemonade, dear," eyerolls Mrs. Rickey. "Did you see? That man that walked by outside, that tall man with the whiskers, wearing an overcoat on a warm August day! It's THEM, I know it! The loud one is sitting on the big one's shoulders!" "Have some lemonade dear," sighs Mrs. Rickey. Mr. Rickey accepts the frosty glass and presses it gently to his throbbing forehead. "Do you realize I needed a police escort to leave the ballpark last night?" he sobs. "All due to those women, those women! Judas Priest!")

***sob***

The Trend section takes note of the passing, by suicide or excecution by mob, depending on who you ask, of longtime Mussolin mouthpiece Virginio Gayda. "He had no sense of humor," mourns Trend, "and some say he believed what he wrote." Such as, for example, the time he promised to sic Il Duce on the Suez Canal. Or on South America, Or Moscow. Or the time he promised that the Duce would appear behind Rommel's lines in time to march, like Caesar, into Alexandria. "But," notes Trend, "Gayda never sicced the Duce on Montgomery."

Gloria Swanson, glamorous screen legend, will appear on the stage of the Flatbush Theatre next week in "Let Us Be Gay." The show marks Miss Swanson's second consecutive summer visit to the local boards, following last summer's successful run in "Reflected Glory."

Old Timer John P. Pfalzgraff remembers the king of the old Tenth Ward, soft-spoken Pat Butler, who pretty much ran the neighborhood from his saloon at the corner Hoyt and Wyckoff Streets. Pat never held elective office of any kind, but as ward election captain, he determined who did. No important step in the ward could be taken until old Pat had his say. He was a shy and quiet man who stayed aloof from the "more crude forms" of neighborhood politics, but nonetheless he pulled the strings -- ofttimes without lesser men realizing that their strings were being pulled.

(Well, it's not like Red actually adopted him...)

(USE IT UP WEAR IT OUT MAKE IT DO OR DO WITHOUT)

("Well, that's that. When do we eat?")

(Why do I get the feeling that Fritzi is living off a trust fund? And do you get the feeling sometimes that Mr. Hix just makes this stuff up?)

("Oh all right," says Leona, "you can have the outfit. But I'm keeping the pirate hat!" And at least Dr. Putty didn't get thrown out a 16th floor window!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

(OVER BY CHRISTMAS -- JUST IN TIME FOR THE SHOPPING SEASON!)