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- New York City
That's really good.
I can think of dozens of ways to torture my mother/siblings/babysitters with those.
What I want now, though, is the windup Daddy Warbucks that gets down on his knees and cringes until windup Punjab rescues him.
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(If you don't like double chins, kid, you won't want to meet any Hollywood moguls.)
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Brooklyn's 6758 Girl Scouts will soon hit the streets to take orders in their eighth annual cookie sale, with a quota of twenty boxes to be sold by each girl. The proceeds from the sale will as always be used to fund general operation for the borough's scout troops, as girls from 7 to 17 turn increasingly to the Scouting program as a way of helping their community and country in the war effort. Orders will be taken beginning October 1st, and deliveries will begin October 26th, with the sale continuing thru November. The chairman of the sale, Mrs. William H. McLeer, notes that there are presently 1435 Brooklyn girls on the waiting list to become Girl Scouts, because the present troops lack sufficient leaders and facilities to handle them.
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(For some reason I really want to see Gypsy do a bit with Clifton Webb.)
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The Eagle Editorialist sniffs at the loyalty of baseball fans in St. Louis, asking if any Brooklynite ever heard of a city less deserving of a pennant winner than the home of the Cardinals? "When the Cards came back from their amazing road trip," he notes, "there were 15 people, besides the players' wives, waiting to greet them. And fewer than 5000 fans turned to see their game, a day on which 15,000 Brooklyn fans flocked to Ebbets Field to see the Dodgers."
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("You been innat phone boot' f' two houehs!" yells Joe, pounding on the door as an impatient line stretches from one side of the candy store to another. "An' Leonoreh's hungry an' she spit out alla beets!" "Lemme 'lone," yells back Sally, dropping another nickel in the slot and dialing MAin 4-1030 with a vengeance. "I'm gonna tellat MacPhail wheah t'get off iffit takes awl day! H'lo? Izzis McDonal' again? PUTCHA BAWSS ON, YA BUM! I KNOW HE'S IN TOWN, IT SEZ INNA PAPEH! YEAH, HE KNOWS ME! PUTTIM ON!" "Bum bye," fusses Leonora from the carriage at Joe's side. "Bum bye!")
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(Funny, he doesn't look Aryan.)
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And in the Daily News...
Well, to be honest, Tommy, I don't get the sense you're any great shakes at it yourself.
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"You'll need it."
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"Oops! Never mind!"
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Run for it, kid, while you still can.
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("'At's right," yells Sally into the payphone mouthpiece, as Joe leans outside the phone booth paging thru the latest issue of "Captain Marvel Adventures" while gently rocking Leonora's carriage with his toe. "I wanna apply f'tat job ya advehtised. Whattaya mean what job, t'job onna front pagea t'Eagle! Yeah! T'at job! T'name is Sally S. Petrauskas. P-E-T-R-A-U-S-K-A-S. F'm Eas' Flatbush. Yeah! Grew up six blocks f'm Ebbets Feel. Erasmus classa toity-one! Yeah. Look, MacPhail knows me. Ask him. He'll tell ya. I'd be poifec' f'tat job. Whattaya mean it ain' no job for a woman? How'bout'tat Grace Comiskey in Chicageh? Or t'at Effa Manley t'ey had inna papeh t'utteh day -- oveh t' Newehk? Yeah. WELL I WOULD TOO! I wouldn'a traded a good secon' baseman f'zample! YEAH! You SEEN how he's been hittin' lately? BETTER'NAT OL' MAN HOIMAN! Hello? HELLO? Joe! Gimme anot'eh nickel, 'at McDonal' has got some NOIVE hangin' up on his nex' BOSS!")
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(OK, now's the time for Bill to show up with a rake.)
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And in the Daily News...
Well this is an interesting development. Wonder what else she remembers.
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What, again? Didn't she just HAVE a baby?
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"I wonder if Wilmer's been thrown out of the Army yet? Maybe he could help."
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"Nah, she said she might need it again someday. Hey, did you notice she's gettin' kinda fat since Pa went away. Wonder what that's all about."
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"I'm no iron man." Well, he said it, I didn't.
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One day, Kayo will be a very wealthy man.
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A bitter verbal clash broke out today between State Senator Carmine J. Marasco (D-Brooklyn) and City Councilman Peter Cacchione (Communist-Brooklyn) as an incident in the court fight by the American Legion seeking to bar Communist candidates from the fall ballot. Senator Marasco accused Councilman Cacchione of "trying to stir up class feeling," and of insulting Italian-Americans by referring to them as "a minority group." The incident occured as a result of a letter sent by Cacchione to the Senator, urging his support of efforts to protect those who sign nomination petitions for Communist candidates from "terrorization," and stated that, "as Italian-Americans are a minority group in the United States, we must jealously guard democratic rights for all groups in order to protect democratic rights for ourselves." Senator Marasco retorted that Italian-Americans are themselves members of the "majority group of good, loyal, patriotic citizens," and declared that Governor Lehman and Attorney General Bennett "need no urging" to protect the right to a free ballot.
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Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine denied today that nothing has been done to track down the vandals responsible for painting swastikas and destroying furnishings and equipment at a Flatbush scrap depot operated by the Brooklyn Unit of the American Jewish Congress. The Commissioner, replying to charges made this week by speakers at a mass meeting of the AJC, declared that the investigation has been "hampered by a lack of clues," and asserted that "there were no visible signs of forced entry" at the building. He also denied that no effort has been made to gather fingerprint evidence from the crime scene, stating that a detective of the Brooklyn Photograph Gallery examined the site and found "no fingerprints of persons who may be responsible."
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Between 30 and 40 gasoline ration books were stolen last night from the OPA branch office at 1130 St. Nicholas Avenue in Washington Heights, Manhattan. Police say the thieves gained access to the office by forced entry.
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Employers with workers they consider essential to the war effort should waste no time in submitting applications for deferrment to their local draft boards, warns New York Selective Service Director Col. Arthur V. McDermott. Every local board is now reviewing the cases of all men classified 3-A and 3-B, and employers have been warned not to take those deferrments for granted, or to assume that any or all of those men will remain deferred for the duration. Colonel McDermott told a convention of the Federal Druggists Association, meeting at the Hotel Biltmore, that he has encountered "remarkable ignorance" from employers failing to understand the urgency of the present situation.
("Ya essential, ain'cha Joe?" queries Sally. "Ya betta tell'm ya essential. I'll write a letteh t't'at Mr. Gillmoeh runsa place. I'll tell'm ya essential." "Aw, t'ey know I'm essential," demurs Joe. "I was late gett'n back t'my bench f'm a break yest'day, anney senna guy lookin f'me. An' ya know what, t'ey sayin' a bunch of us might get moved t'Bush Toiminal soon -- onna day shif'! Oh, I'm essential, don' worrey none about'tat.")
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An alleged burglar, whose tools included a telephone directory and a dog, pleaded guilty yesterday before County Judge John J. Fitzgerald to charges of attempted burglary in the third degree. Thirty year old Arthur Taranto of 196 Sackett Street was arrested on a charge of taking $25 in cash and $3 in war stamps from the 35 Crown Street apartment of Mrs. Lillian Rubens on May 28th. Police charged that Taranto would go into the foyers of apartment buildings, note the names on the mail boxes, look the names up in his telephone book, and call to see if any of them were home. If any were not, he would walk up and down the street with his little white dog to create an appearance of innocence, and then saunter into the building and break into the apartment. The telephone book and the dog were with him when he was taken into custody. Judge Fitzgerald ordered Taranto held for sentencing, but no date was set.
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(The Navy? Forget it, Leo -- you can't argue with an admiral.)
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(Bill would've been there first, but he tripped over the rake.)
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("I'm gonna need a bigger collar to hold all my medals!!")
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Chester Gould trolls Mayor LaGuardia. Is that nice?
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"Whew! I had no idea what to do next!"
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Try it again, kid. I dare ya.
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("Wisht we cudda gon'a t'at show," sighs Joe. "I'da liked t'seen -- um -- " "Yeah," says Sally. "Edwa'd Awrnold. I'da like t'seen Edwa'd Awrnold." "Well, yeah," agrees Joe. "Ann'at Chawles Lawrt'n, too.")
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The Police Department, stung by a warning from Mayor LaGuardia to "clean up the gambling situation or I'll clean *you* up," today prepared plans for a city-wide drive to close up gaming establishments and round up bookmakers and policy racketeers. At what he described as "a family discussion" at City Hall, the Mayor brandished letters from "wives and children of gambling breadwinners" and demanded action from 200 police officials ranging from Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine down thru inspectors, deputy inspectors, and lieutenants. Although the meeting was closed to reporters, its effect was immediately evident. When those attending filed out of the meeting, they were "unusually reticent" as they hurried to their desks, from which will come the orders to set in motion what may prove to be the city's largest campaign ever against gambling. It is stated that Commissioner Valentine followed the Mayor to the podium during the meeting and added his warning -- "I want your full cooperatioon in this duty -- or else!" The Mayor is reported to have arrived at the meeting carrying a large map of locations believed to house gambling centers.
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("'At remins me," notes Joe. "We ain' hadda letteh f'm y'brutteh lately." "He's too busy t'write lettehs," remarks Sally, without looking up. "Yeh," agrees Joe. "I 'magine he would be.")
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("Where's that map," growls Butch. "I gotta make an addition.")
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And in the Daily News...
Didn't see THAT coming.
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Ah, families.
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Not to be arch, but I bet that's the first shower Willie's had in five years.
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Oh, and...
Some of these Junior Commando units aren't as disciplined as others.