The Art of Social Kissing.

[GHT]

Social kissing seems to be making a comeback, as a small boy, I hated that I was expected to kiss my Grandmothers, growing older, and appreciating their worldly wisdom, and not to say, the odd five pounds (sterling) or two, Grannies always got kissed.

Social kissing is an art form that I both learned, yet came naturally. On first meeting someone, you always proffered your hand for a gentle handshake, two, three, four meetings later, if the lady pulled your hand towards her, with an expectant cheek proffered, you kiss her, but with the gentleness of the gossamer wings of a butterfly. Be mindful of her make-up, if she offers the other cheek, kiss it, otherwise, just step back and smile at her.

A lady that I know, explained that social kissing is an invitation into your personal space, a grace, an invitation, you are trusted, honoured. Many find it difficult, others often have an ulterior agenda, women know that, they have an inbuilt radar.

I've never had a problem with social kissing, but on one occasion, a cross-dressing gay man, who was an absolute brilliant compere, and a good all round wit, offered his cheek when I complimented him on a most enjoyable evening, and I kissed it.:eeek: So, do you, or do you prefer not to, social kiss?

 

[Fading Fast]

That it took you four paragraphs (no criticism, I would have taken more) to explain it, argues why I am not a fan. It is awkward; it is only natural to a select few; it enter ones personal space which is always dicey unless you know you are wanted or you want the other person there. All this increases tension or, at minimum, causes some bumbling most of the time versus the few times that it works and feels natural.

I, too, have noticed an increase in people socially kissing - ugh, I have enough to think about when I'm meeting someone without having to deal with all the body english and physical nearness that social kissing entails. I like the handshake - it is a simple, almost-always-appropriate way to greet someone new or someone you know well (close family members are different).

My guess is others will have a class or social status angle on this - I don't, I just don't like the uncertainty of when it is appropriate, the mechanics or the invasion of one's personal space it entails.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Here in HoosierLand it isn't even part of the culture (at least not in the circles I frequent). The popular cheek kissing greetings of Hollywood and socialite yearnings of TV 'House Wives' is about as foreign here as champagne for breakfast.
HD

 

[Bamaboots]

Im about as comfortable with it as I am the man-hug. Where in the hell did that come from and why has it persisted.

 

[pawineguy]

Here in HoosierLand it isn't even part of the culture (at least not in the circles I frequent). The popular cheek kissing greetings of Hollywood and socialite yearnings of TV 'House Wives' is about as foreign here as champagne for breakfast.
HD

I think that this is partly geographic in nature. In the NYC / NJ / Philly area, where I have lived for most of my life, it's very common, almost expected after a couple of meetings, and since most are used to it, not awkward at all. Anecdotally, I credit (or blame, depends upon your perspective) the Italian immigrant population which is very liberal with their hugs and kisses.

 

[AmateisGal]

Here in my neck of the woods (Nebraska), it's just not done. I can't remember it ever being done, even when I was little and around my grandparents (and on my paternal side, they were Italians and were never demonstrative which is really odd, but they were an odd bunch).

 

[pawineguy]

I think that this is partly geographic in nature. In the NYC / NJ / Philly area, where I have lived for most of my life, it's very common, almost expected after a couple of meetings, and since most are used to it, not awkward at all. Anecdotally, I credit (or blame, depends upon your perspective) the Italian immigrant population which is very liberal with their hugs and kisses.

I should add that my Italian grandparents and great-grandparents were big kissers, and that helped ease me into the "lifestyle."

 

[LizzieMaine]

My people reserve physical contact of any kind only for family and the closest of friends. My family's of Scottish descent and we don't like to be touched.

 

[Nobert]

[video=youtube;pdsxf-HX8AE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdsxf-HX8AE[/video]

 

[HadleyH]

Oh Lordee how different we all is! :lol::tongue:

Kissing among relatives, friends in fact any human being you could think of ...while we were growing up...

well

it was like breathing.... you wouldn't think it twice, MUAH on one cheek MUAH on the other!

 

[Zombie_61]

Were it not for social kissing (and commonly associated social hugging) I don't know if my wife and I would ever have even started dating, let alone get married. But that's a rather lengthy story for another time.

For as long as I can remember social kissing and/or hugging has been a very common way to greet my family members and close friends. And, for the most part, my wife's family is the same way. It's just one of the ways we show our appreciation and affection for one another. However, we don't presume this is a common or accepted activity with people we're meeting for the first time, so we will generally hold back and allow them to "establish the rules" beyond a simple handshake. To us it's a rather casual thing, but it's clear just from reading the handful of posts that are in this thread so far that not everyone feels the same way, and we respect that.

 

[LuvMyMan]

Here in HoosierLand it isn't even part of the culture (at least not in the circles I frequent). The popular cheek kissing greetings of Hollywood and socialite yearnings of TV 'House Wives' is about as foreign here as champagne for breakfast.
HD

I have to agree with HD on this...it is maybe limited to other parts of the world. Around where I reside, it would be very out of place unless the person you want to kiss is family.

 

[sheeplady]

I'm a hugger, but I am not a kisser.

My 2-year-old daughter is very friendly and will often give kisses to people she likes (she is not at the age to learn to ask permission to kiss someone yet, or to know to have an ongoing relationship where kissing is normal). She mainly kisses close family and her friends (apparently her classroom has a kissing ring, they all hug and kiss each other. Two year olds. )

One of the things I don't like is when people demand kisses from my daughter, particularly strangers or extended family she is not very familiar with. The first time it happened was in the grocery store, an older lady walked up to us and chatted a bit and said to my daughter, "Give me a kiss." It really rubbed me the wrong way, because it wasn't "May I have a kiss" AND the woman was a stranger. I'd get a little upset if anyone demanded a kiss like that, rather than asking her, but a stranger just really rubbed me the wrong way. My daughter owns her own body, and she should be able to determine who she kisses/ who kisses her.

I've also had two strange men demand/ ask her to give them a kiss. My daughter is a pretty friendly little kid, and if she doesn't warm up to you in a few minutes, I feel a little suspicious. If I'm sensing she's afraid of you and you start demanding and/or asking for a kiss, alarm bells are going to go off in my head, I'll take my leave, and then watch to make sure you aren't following us.

So, people, don't ask/demand strange children to kiss you.

 

[emigran]

I grew up in an Italian-Italian-American family... everyone kissed everyone all the time... my Uncles, Grandparents, Fake Uncles and Aunts, Cousins everyone both male and female... this past weekend I had a reunion with a cousin I hadn't seen in over fifty years... first thing we did upon greeting was give a resounding hug and kiss to each other. I kissed my father everyday when he would drop me at the train station to school ...in public...and until the day he died.

 

[Chamuco]

Social Kissing In México is something natural when I say hello to any girl, even when you just met her.

Also social hugging between men is the rule.

Lots of it everyday, seems that body contact is normal in Latin cultures

 

[Chamuco]

Seems that Spanish, Italians and Latin American people are prone to physical contact.

We even like it a lot, the harder you hug a friend the deeper the friendship

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

I've also had two strange men demand/ ask her to give them a kiss. My daughter is a pretty friendly little kid, and if she doesn't warm up to you in a few minutes, I feel a little suspicious. If I'm sensing she's afraid of you and you start demanding and/or asking for a kiss, alarm bells are going to go off in my head, I'll take my leave, and then watch to make sure you aren't following us.

So, people, don't ask/demand strange children to kiss you.

Sounds like politicians.

 

[AmateisGal]

I think my Italian family was abnormal or something. They were all very distant (physically) around each other. Big family - eight brothers and sisters and the last one just died last year, so they all lived long lives. Always very close-knit and didn't like outsiders. But physical affection? I can't remember any of that. But there was definitely some weirdness going on. Three of the core family committed suicide (my great-grandmother and two of my great-uncles). Yeah, that's a novel I'd like to write, and maybe now that they're all gone, I can.

They're from Northern Italy, too - around the Turin area. I don't know if that makes a difference or not as far as showing affection...are Italians in southern Italy more prone to that than those in Northern Italy? I really don't have any idea.

 

[GHT]

Oh Lordee how different we all is! :lol::tongue:

Kissing among relatives, friends in fact any human being you could think of ...while we were growing up...

well

it was like breathing.... you wouldn't think it twice, MUAH on one cheek MUAH on the other!

If you ever find yourself in the French Capital City, watch the teens and twenty somethings. For them kissing is an art form: Four kisses, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek, left cheek. They do it every time they meet or leave one another, and always with that MWAH! sound. Ooh la la.

 

[LizzieMaine]

We have a pretty large Franco population here -- but none I've ever known practiced the kissy-face thing. Perhaps French-Canadians really are that different from those who never left the motherland.