The Annual Affliction.

[Lorne]

Its the time of year for my household’s “annual affliction.” My wife’s 30 year old son is visiting us.

I find it stressful that he spends every moment he is not eating barricaded in the spare bedroom.

I find it stressful that he speaks to his mother in grunts, as if he were one of the lesser great apes.

I find it stressful that he can’t figure out how to convey a dish from the table to the sink, or that he was in the living room watching porn on his computer till I told him to knock it off at 2:00 AM, or that he won’t take his wallet out of his pocket if either his mother or I are around.

Stress I can manage, I’m an adult and I can handle these things. BUT…

He brought god-damn cloth trilbies into my home. Not just one, two; a black one with white pin stripes and a white one with black pin stripes.

Because you don’t want to be caught wearing a clashing tribly, apparently.

That I put up with this lummox, this Baby Huey, this couch cancer, I do to preserve my marriage.

HOWEVER, there is nothing on this planet that is going to make me stand next to that oaf while he wears those miss-begotten rags on his head. IT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

 

[job]

I think he would make you look great standing next to him. Maybe you could sway him to nicer hats. Is he your size? Maybe you could bond over hats.

Sent from my XT1049 using Tapatalk

 

[Lorne]

My wife’s other, slightly less problematic, son asked to borrow my 112 year old Waltham model 1888, Riverside grade, two-tone pocket watch to wear to a Steam Punk wedding.

“Here”, I said, “and take the gold chain that goes with it.”

Dumbo touches one of my hats, he dies.

I don’t care if it takes all afternoon to dig a grave in the garden. I’ll rent a back hoe if I have to.

I’m not going to waste my time tyring to figure out how to get cheeto powder off of one of my good hats.

 

[tonyb]

Sedation, maybe?

 

[-30-]

"I don’t care if it takes all afternoon to dig a grave in the garden. I’ll rent a back hoe if I have to."
Lorne.

WHAT!
(And ruin the garden?)


Regards,
J T

 

[Lorne]

For him or me?

If its for him, good idea. Makes him easier to get into the hole. Less struggling.


Lorne

 

[fedoracentric]

Just repeat over and over--I bear this for my lovely wife, I bear this for my lovely wife.

 

[Lorne]

A blunt object, a plastic tarp and a shovel.

"Sorry honey, he said he was going out to rent Game of Thrones and buy a 128 ounce Mountain Dew. I don't know why he isn't answering his cell phone. And, no, I don't know why he took both his hats with him when he left..."

Seven billion people on the planet, you'll hardly miss him.

 

[T Jones]

He brought ***-damn cloth trilbies into my home. Not just one, two; a black one with white pin stripes and a white one with black pin stripes.

Cloth Trilbies???!!! BLASPHEMY!!!!

 

[ChiTownScion]

............I find it stressful that he spends every moment he is not eating barricaded in the spare bedroom.

I find it stressful that he speaks to his mother in grunts, as if he were one of the lesser great apes.

I find it stressful that he can’t figure out how to convey a dish from the table to the sink, or that he was in the living room watching porn on his computer till I told him to knock it off at 2:00 AM, or that he won’t take his wallet out of his pocket if either his mother or I are around.

Stress I can manage, I’m an adult and I can handle these things. BUT…

......That I put up with this lummox, this Baby Huey, this couch cancer, I do to preserve my marriage......................

During the first five years of my marriage one of my wife's relatives took up residence in our basement. He was supposedly going to find work, get a place of his own, and move out. He finally did, after about six very sedentary months. Not in that order, and not until after I finally put my foot down and told him that enough was enough.

Tales like this are why, if I ever find myself a widower-- or Mrs. Scion ever boots my rear end out the door--- I will never marry again.

 

[fedoracentric]

Truthfully, the "I live alone and don't help my relatives" thing is what they call a "first world problem." Many of us are rich enough, relatively speaking, to make these pronouncements and it is a relatively new phenomenon, too. But traditionally--even in the USA--families have HAD to open their doors to extended family members because of financial hard times. In fact, many would argue that this is what families are for and that families should do this sort of thing instead of government doing it.

Then again, he brought a stupid cloth trilby into the house and blood is NOT enough to excuse that!

:loco::loco:

 

[Lorne]

The problem is that of being a non-parent married to a parent.

To her, it’s her children no matter how old they are.

To me, its strangers who believed they are entitled to be fed and housed for free. Not only that, they expect their unsavory habits and poor choices to be indulged.

Well, surprise-surprise, I’m a daddy but I’m not YOUR daddy.

Get your trilbies off my hat tree and feel free to buy some groceries during your very brief stay.

 

[Lorne]

I’m glad to open my door to family.

Especially if they are leaving.

 

[fedoracentric]

Believe me, I know what you mean. I have had family move in and out and my wife's family are not the most savory folks. S, i know how you feel, for sure.

 

[alanfgag]

It is clearly time for vacation.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Sounds like a Hipster infestation.

 

[GHT]

I’m glad to open my door to family.

Especially if they are leaving.

But he's family, and surely, he'll be there to take care of you when you are old!:flypig:

 

[Lorne]

The way things are going, he isn't going to be around to see me get older.

Right now I'm pricing real estate for him in New Jersey, if you know what I'm sayin...

 

[jdbenson]

I was a boomerang kid...Post college I moved to CA to find a job and get my carreer started. No such luck. (I ended up singing in the Sacramento Opera Company's chorus of La fanciulla del West just to make spending cash). Eventually I gave it up, put my tail between my legs and called my folks to ask if I could come back home. The deal was this: I was welcome to stay with them as long as I was WORKING. I had to get a job - ANY job. I had to do chores around the house and pitch in with taking care of my niece. All of this was very reasonable.

Sounds like a similar arrangement with the lummox would lower your stress level. BUT, you'd have to convince your wife first. It sounds to me like you'd be best served to discuss the matter with her first. Tell her how you feel, and what you'd like to do. Worst case scenario is nothing changes....

Just my humble opion based on my limited experience.

 

[Stanley Doble]

You can have a lot of fun with a cattle prod.