The Annual Affliction.

[Lorne]

The lummox is here for two weeks vacation. Getting him to do his own laundry was a major a victory, as was his agreement not to wear his trilby in front of anyone his mother and I know.

 

[Lorne]

Why go for half measures?

If you are going to do a felony, go big or go home.

 

[Blackthorn]

You can have a lot of fun with a cattle prod.

:cheer2::cheer2::cheer2::cheer2:

 

[Cattus Petasatus]

This is the best thread I've read in a long time.

When my youngest son moved back in with me after some poor choices on his part, i charged him $400 a month...to sleep on my couch. He was back out in 3 weeks. He grew up quick. Today we have a great relationship.

25 to life vs. 2 weeks? It's a no brainer, especially since there are trilby's involved. You can dig quietly, right?

 

[Lorne]

Neighbors are elderly and as deaf as posts.

Two glasses of wine and the wife would sleep through artillery.

I feel a plan coming together here...

Even if I take the fall for this; as long as their is one juror with a adult child living in their basement or with a Stetson in the closet, I'll walk.

All of a sudden I'm feeling very film noir....

 

[Lorne]

Back when I was a cop, we used to say there three types of homicides:

Criminal;

Justifiable;

And Praise Worthy.

By the way, if someone reading this is a Massachusetts State Trooper, we are just joking around.

Unless you are a Trooper who owns a wood chipper, in which case I could use your help.

 

[F. J.]

Back when I was a cop, we used to say there three types of homicides:

Criminal;

Justifiable;

And Praise Worthy.

By the way, if someone reading this is a Massachusetts State Trooper, we are just joking around.

Unless you are a Trooper who owns a wood chipper, in which case I could use your help.

^^^Now that's funny!ound:

 

[suitedcboy]

You can have a lot of fun with a cattle prod.

Yes, and get the best batteries to assure longevity and a good spark.

 

[hatsRme]

I have a friends (husband and wife) who executed a perfect plan to oust a boomerang son. After several months of nothing happening, no interviews, very few job applications, lots of couch time, and no promises on the horizon, they went into action. On a Saturday morning when the "tenant" would awake by mid-morning, they both came down to the kitchen naked. Totally naked. The look of complete and absolute horror on the son's face turned ever more aghast when my friend cheerily smiled a big "Good Morning," and then playfully slapped his wife's naked backside proclaiming, "Your Mom's just WILD!"

He was gone the next day.

 

[Blackthorn]

Back when I was a cop, we used to say there three types of homicides:

Criminal;

Justifiable;

And Praise Worthy.

By the way, if someone reading this is a Massachusetts State Trooper, we are just joking around.

Unless you are a Trooper who owns a wood chipper, in which case I could use your help.

lollollollollollol:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

 

[hatophile]

Before the next year's visit you could always move and not leave a forwarding address.

 

[scottyrocks]

Absolutely epic thread.

I can see this coming up in my future, re one of my spouse's offspring. Except I'll move out first.

 

[Dan Allen]

For this reason I always dreamed of living on a boat--You can move a boat and they don't leave tracks.

 

[LuvMyMan]

Absolutely epic thread.

I can see this coming up in my future, re one of my spouse's offspring. Except I'll move out first.

Oh lord...teach the little devil how to hot wire cars maybe they will get a long stay at the State Pen and merely become a Pen Pal? That or leave many books on Australia laying around and inspire and make them just DREAM of moving there then invest in a one way ticket.......

 

[LuvMyMan]

A nice large Guard Dog could also be a possible aide in the matter.....(What happened to Ralphie...he was just sitting there a minute ago...and now only one shoe laying on the floor....)>..loL!

 

[Stanley Doble]

Kidding aside, have you tried talking to him, or I should say listening, and finding out what he wants to do or what is the matter?

 

[Lorne]

I wanted to keep you guys updated.

It’s been a very trying 24 hours.

My wife and I have a system. One night she gets to watch what she wants on our TV and the next night I choose.

Wednesday night was my night and I decided to watch the Maltese Falcon.

About 10 minutes in, the Hungry-Hungry Hippo comes downstairs to grace us with presence. First thing he does is ask to change the channel.

“No, we are watching the Maltese Falcon.” My wife gave me the “Lorne, don’t…” look.

He sits down and, just about the time Longstreet is telling Bogart he doesn’t trust a man who doesn’t drink, Magilla Gorilla says “ya know, I never liked Bogart.”

I don’t recall what happened after that (diminished capacity). At some point I think I had the brim of a trilby between my teeth, but in all honesty, it could have been an ear. First thing I remember clearly (I swear) is the darts from the officer’s Taser hitting me in the back.

The officer (a 7 ¼ who wears a Stetson Downs), was very understanding.

I’m sure, once we have put the legal aspects of this behind us, my wife and I will emerge with a stronger relationship.

 

[LuvMyMan]

I wanted to keep you guys updated.

It’s been a very trying 24 hours.

My wife and I have a system. One night she gets to watch what she wants on our TV and the next night I choose.

Wednesday night was my night and I decided to watch the Maltese Falcon.

About 10 minutes in, the Hungry-Hungry Hippo comes downstairs to grace us with presence. First thing he does is ask to change the channel.

“No, we are watching the Maltese Falcon.” My wife gave me the “Lorne, don’t…” look.

He sits down and, just about the time Longstreet is telling Bogart he doesn’t trust a man who doesn’t drink, Magilla Gorilla says “ya know, I never liked Bogart.”

I don’t recall what happened after that (diminished capacity). At some point I think I had the brim of a trilby between my teeth, but in all honesty, it could have been an ear. First thing I remember clearly (I swear) is the darts from the officer’s Taser hitting me in the back.

The officer (a 7 ¼ who wears a Stetson Downs), was very understanding.

I’m sure, once we have put the legal aspects of this behind us, my wife and I will emerge with a stronger relationship.

I am totally un able to say who made the statement first...but...if it did not kill you, it can only make you stronger...(now I add to it..on my own)...and a LOT more ******.....as long as you and the woman you love are able to talk about what is ongoing...you will survive it....I know...when I can talk to my Husband about anything we need to talk about...it normally works out very well.


I like a few ideas from this thread...and LOVE mine about the Guard Dog.....lololololol

 

[Stanley Doble]

"What does not kill me makes me stronger" was Nietzsche's line but we don't know if it was him or the spirochetes talking.

 

[g.durand]

This is the best thread I've read in a long time.

+1 !! :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

Lorne, have you considered a second career as a stand-up comic? This is brilliant stuff.