The "Annoying Phrase" Thread

[Bamaboots]

Wow!

 

[tonyb]

How about a corned beef on rye, all fat, and a high calorie cream soda?

The fatter the better.

 

[Zombie_61]

Aww nuts. I was just being a wiseguy when I quoted that line from The Odd Couple last night, but re-reading it now makes me want a corned beef sandwich.

 

[ChiTownScion]

Chicago cops I must say do have a sense of humor. Got stopped one day driving my sister's car,
pulled over by a patrol officer who had something of an attitude; all over a minor traffic signage issue
and its applicability to the street itself, which alternated to a one-way but ran parallel to a parking lot
which pierced the end zone by a yard or two. He wanted to impound the car, but I explained the signage
details from a legal perspective against the possibility of vehicle impoundment of sis's car-my ass was
on the line. The cop relented, and sarcastically asked if I was studying law. To which I answered yes,
he smiled or rather smirked, and said "counselor get your ass out of here now."

Best cop humor incident I ever witnessed was in court one day when I was appointed to represent some suburban yahoo who was heading home on Addison at Clark after witnessing a home team victory @ Wrigley- and consuming far too much beer for his own good. The officer in question was female, blonde, quite attractive, and detailed that day from the 9th District (Bridgeport): while crossing the street he decided to give her buns a nice squeeze... and was, of course, arrested for misdemeanor battery.

Defendant was quite contrite in court, all apologies: he pled guilty, and was about to receive his one year court supervision, when yours truly approached the officer during a short recess.

"I'm going to have to submit a statistic on this one, officer, and I need your input: was Mr.____ 'copping a feel,'.... or was he 'feeling a cop?' "

Everyone- including the judge- had a good laugh on that one.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

^^^^
You probably had to be there to find that funny.

 

[GHT]

Best cop humor incident I ever witnessed was in court one day when I was appointed to represent some suburban yahoo who was heading home on Addison at Clark after witnessing a home team victory @ Wrigley- and consuming far too much beer for his own good. The officer in question was female, blonde, quite attractive, and detailed that day from the 9th District (Bridgeport): while crossing the street he decided to give her buns a nice squeeze... and was, of course, arrested for misdemeanor battery.

Defendant was quite contrite in court, all apologies: he pled guilty, and was about to receive his one year court supervision, when yours truly approached the officer during a short recess.

"I'm going to have to submit a statistic on this one, officer, and I need your input: was Mr.____ 'copping a feel,'.... or was he 'feeling a cop?' "

Everyone- including the judge- had a good laugh on that one.

Back in the 70's, a minor case made headline press when, in court, the defendant stood in the dock looking totally bored, hands in his pockets, just standing there, chewing gum.

This infuriated the judge, who called the jailer, (a term given to the court usher.) "Jailer, instruct the defendant to stop masticating." The jailer looked across at the belligerent young man in the dock, then shouted: "Oi, you, take your hands out of your pockets."

Such was the hilarious uproar, the judge called for a ten minute recess.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

Back in the 70's, a minor case made headline press when, in court, the defendant stood in the dock looking totally bored, hands in his pockets, just standing there, chewing gum.

This infuriated the judge, who called the jailer, (a term given to the court usher.) "Jailer, instruct the defendant to stop masticating." The jailer looked across at the belligerent young man in the dock, then shouted: "Oi, you, take your hands out of your pockets."

Such was the hilarious uproar, the judge called for a ten minute recess.

Did it have a happy ending ?

 

[GHT]

Did it have a happy ending? If I could only remember the details I might be able to find it on line. I do remember the downmarket press having great fun with masturbate and masticate. I bet the cartoonists had a good day with it too.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

Did it have a happy ending?

Yeah, I've heard that when a fella masticates he likes a happy ending....no idea if it's true or not.

 

[GHT]

"He turned round and said." Why does someone have to turn round before speaking. A neighbour of ours is always using the phrase. Another infuriating expression that our neighbour uses is: "I'm not one to gossip." Not much!

 

[vitanola]

If you say so.

As I said before, everyone has a cop story and they often devolve into the dietary habits of the officers. The day I started the job I had a 34" waist. The day I retired, though thirty pounds heavier, I did and still have a 34" waist. Never once in 26 years did I eat a donut in public while in uniform. That cliche has been around a long time. Never worked a day where I didn't have to listen to some smart ass, though.

Up here, some officers have fun with the old stereotype (and make some money on the side)

https://copsdoughnuts.com/about/

 

[LizzieMaine]

We don't have any pudgy cops here. For a while they were on bicycle patrol, and that whittled them down, and most seem to have kept the weight off. I never see them at Dunkies unless someone's driven another car thru the side of the building.

 

[tonyb]

“Your call is important to us.”

 

[GHT]

“Your call is important to us.”

That's why we have an automated system to reassure you that you are very important. We know that without your custom we wouldn't have a business, so we instruct this phone messaging gopher to keep complimenting you so that you won't get exasperated, but if you do the program has been carefully construed not to lose it's temper. We do understand your frustration and we hope that we have given you every reassurance that we have your best interests at heart.

You silly, sad, pathetic loser, you.

 

[GHT]

"The Fact of the Matter" What kind of gobble-de-gook is that? The fact of the matter is, you don't know what you are talking about, nor when to shut up.
Giving It 110%. This is, without doubt, the kind of gibberish loved by sports players, TV announcers and morons who didn't pay attention at school.
"On the same page." My Godson cracked me up when he told me that it's now morphed into: On the same app. You know how annoying it is when some people are using WhatsApp and others are using Viber or Signal or whatever. “Can we meet before the presentation so we’re all on the same app?”
If anyone can translate WhatsApp, Viber & Signal, it would be appreciated.

 

[Boomerang]

This one may be too personal, but I'll submit it for Lounger approval:

"Solve for x."

Fine if x is the only letter, and numbers flesh-out the equation. If you want me to solve for x in a sea of alphabet soup, however...

 

[LizzieMaine]

Whenever I hear "VIP," I reach for my pistol, FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE.

Very Impatient Person. Very Insufferable Pissant. Very Irritating Poltroon.

 

[GHT]

"Don't try this at home." There was a time when kids instinctively knew that it would be stupid to try and do the things depicted in cartoons.
It seems that no matter how impossible it would be to copy, a disclaimer has to accompany it for fear of litigation.

 

[Benny Holiday]

It's like when they banned the Three Stooges from TV here because it was "too violent" and "kids might think it's okay to poke each other in the eyes and hit one another over the head." Funny, all the kids I grew up with watched the Sttoges in the 70s and 80s and never once did it occur to any of us that it was anything other than cartoon shenanigans that of course aren't real. Boy did we laugh though! How stupid have people got to be?

 

[Zombie_61]

...How stupid have people got to be?

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits."
Unknown