The "Annoying Phrase" Thread

[GHT]

My favorite cop encounter was a few years back, coming home from a disappointing Red Sox game late at night. I was turning into my town, about 130am and dog tired, and I got pulled over right at the intersection. I'm sitting there wearing a Red Sox hat and jersey, with a wrinkled game program next to me on the seat, and he shines his light in my eyes and asks me "What have you been doing?" I resisted the impulse to say "losing."

Wimp! I got pulled over at two am and asked, "where have you been?" I replied, "my business is going down the drain, my wife has left me, where do you think I've been?" "I've no idea," was his sarcastic reply. "Getting rat-arsed," (Brit speak for being drunk.) He was on the ball that night. "There's no smell of alcohol, but I could still arrest you for your belligerence," he said, but I knew he wasn't going to. "You're going to tell me that you have a job to do," I ventured, "so why the sarcasm?" He was quick, "You came through that amber light perilously late, left yourself wide open." He replied. "And you had already made your mind up that I was over the crystals." (more Britspeak, the crystals refer to the breathaliser) "Don't push it," he answered, "and I will call it a draw." "You're a gentleman," I said with a smile, offering my hand. He shook it and told me to get on my way, adding that I was lucky not to have come up against another officer. He left that remark hanging in the air. I got his gist.

 

[Hat and Rehat]

Perhaps the two most annoying phrases ever Imho.

1. License and registration please.
2. Do you know why i stopped you?

Annoying response:
(Anything you say), there is no correct answer.

B

Do you know how fast you were going?

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Sent from my LM-X410(FG) using Tapatalk

 

[Hat and Rehat]

While i’m at it, this one always chaffs my a** and insults my intelligence!
When someone is talking s**t with you and usually about you then says “I’m just kidding”.
BS...they are serious but don’t have the intelligence for constructive conversation or the B**ls to say it to your face!!
It’s usually a “friend”.
B

No joke!

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[AbbaDatDeHat]

Greetings All:
About the cop thing.
After thinking about “encounters” i may or may not have had with them, i reconsidered my biased stereotypical opinion.
I have a new found respect for them.
Because....can you imagine every time you stop someone, having to listen to the BS people (me) spew at them!!
Talk about annoying phrases!! How about annoying humanity!
This ones for you Greg, @Bamaboots. Thanks for not shooting me!!
B

 

[AbbaDatDeHat]

Back to annoying phrases.

“We talked about this”.

During my married years (traditional female wife) this phrase could be effectively used by the either member(her) as a defensive or offensive tool.
The professor’s thesis being that the subject was settled thus ending any further discussion or as in my thesis “No, YOU talked about it and i listened so as to meditate on the variables and re-visit it later” (traditional male view).
I think we all know who won.
B

 

[Bamaboots]

In regard to question two, resist every impulse in your mind that is screaming at you to say "To meet a quota?"

Always, a favorite of mine, Lizzie. Typically followed by my response of "yes, ma'am, and thank you for helping me to meet mine early."

 

[LizzieMaine]

A cop with a sense of humor is a rare and wonderful thing. Wish you worked in my town.

 

[Bamaboots]

Sorry that you don't have that. Having been pulled over by them and worse, having to work with them has always made me wonder how they get through life.

 

[Harp]

A cop with a sense of humor is a rare and wonderful thing.

Chicago cops I must say do have a sense of humor. Got stopped one day driving my sister's car,
pulled over by a patrol officer who had something of an attitude; all over a minor traffic signage issue
and its applicability to the street itself, which alternated to a one-way but ran parallel to a parking lot
which pierced the end zone by a yard or two. He wanted to impound the car, but I explained the signage
details from a legal perspective against the possibility of vehicle impoundment of sis's car-my ass was
on the line. The cop relented, and sarcastically asked if I was studying law. To which I answered yes,
he smiled or rather smirked, and said "counselor get your ass out of here now."

 

[GHT]

Back to annoying phrases.

“We talked about this”.

During my married years (traditional female wife) this phrase could be effectively used by the either member(her) as a defensive or offensive tool.
The professor’s thesis being that the subject was settled thus ending any further discussion or as in my thesis “No, YOU talked about it and i listened so as to meditate on the variables and re-visit it later” (traditional male view).
I think we all know who won.
B

Have not heard of the woman's dictionary?
I've often mused (or bemoaned) that women need to come with a manual. For ignoramus males, like me, who like having things spelled out in a man page, it would sure as hell make life a lot easier. To that end, here's something that would have to be included in any "woman manual" (should one ever exist): it's a dictionary of sorts. Basically, it lists common things women say, and what they really mean.

"Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
"Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
"Nothing"
This really means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."
"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
This is not permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
(Loud Sigh)
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement, and is very frequently misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
(Soft Sigh)
Again, not a word, but still a verbal statement. Soft Sighs are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
"Oh"
This word-followed by any statement - is trouble. Examples include "Oh, let me get that," or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest door.
"Fine, take 2"
She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie). Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised-eyebrow "Go ahead," sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
"That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised-eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
"Pleae Do"
This is not a statement, it is a sick and twisted offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
"Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meanings. Just say "you're welcome."
"Thanks a lot"
This is dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really pissed off at you. It is usually followed by the Loud Sigh and signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh, as she will only say, "Nothing."

 

[LizzieMaine]

And then, of course, there's the Men's Dictionary:

"Ummmfff." -- Anything and Everything.

 

[GHT]

And then, of course, there's the Men's Dictionary:

"Ummmfff." -- Anything and Everything.

You forgot: "Yes dear."

 

[Harp]

The most annoying phrase from long ago youth: "Saddle up, we're moving out." ; or the abbreviated version: "Saddle up."

 

[tonyb]

Always, a favorite of mine, Lizzie. Typically followed by my response of "yes, ma'am, and thank you for helping me to meet mine early."

“ ... so I can get to donut shop before the French crullers sell out.”

 

[tonyb]

“That’s above my pay grade.”

 

[Bamaboots]

“ ... so I can get to donut shop before the French crullers sell out.”

Dammnnnnnn! Come on, Tony, not the donut thing. I know you can do better than that. Not really a cruller fan.

 

[tonyb]

Dammnnnnnn! Come on, Tony, not the donut thing. I know you can do better than that. Not really a cruller fan.

Yeah, it’s kinda trite, but not markedly less clever than the quote it riffs on.

Sure would welcome greater traffic code enforcement around here, for whatever that’s worth. Traffic fatalities are more than a little higher in this state over the past few years. I got some thoughts as the reasons for that (eyes on the iPhone screen instead of the road, for one thing), but whatever those reasons are, more active enforcement would seem a reasonable response.

 

[Zombie_61]

Dammnnnnnn! Come on, Tony, not the donut thing. I know you can do better than that. Not really a cruller fan.

How about a corned beef on rye, all fat, and a high calorie cream soda?

 

[Bamaboots]

Yeah, it’s kinda trite, but not markedly less clever than the quote it riffs on.

If you say so.

As I said before, everyone has a cop story and they often devolve into the dietary habits of the officers. The day I started the job I had a 34" waist. The day I retired, though thirty pounds heavier, I did and still have a 34" waist. Never once in 26 years did I eat a donut in public while in uniform. That cliche has been around a long time. Never worked a day where I didn't have to listen to some smart ass, though.

 

[tonyb]

If you say so.

As I said before, everyone has a cop story and they often devolve into the dietary habits of the officers. The day I started the job I had a 34" waist. The day I retired, though thirty pounds heavier, I did and still have a 34" waist. Never once in 26 years did I eat a donut in public while in uniform. That cliche has been around a long time. Never worked a day where I didn't have to listen to some smart ass, though.

I do say so.

Your comment was no less “smartass,” no less unimaginative, than mine. You call it cliche, I call it an updated variation on a familiar theme. (Yes, I’ve many times heard variations on that line of yours, too, being related as I am to a couple of former boys in blue.)

Perhaps you’ve grown accustomed to people paying deference to a cop’s authority. Perhaps you’re used to having the last word. But it doesn’t work that way in this context.

You can do better.