The Accursed "Boomerangers"

[Miss Peach]

With the way the economy is going, are there any other "boomerangers" out there (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/22/nyregion/22singles.html) and how are you coping with it?

I have a bachelor's with two minors and was valedictorian of my college class. I I worked during graduate school and have a master's degree that took blood and sweat and tears to earn, both in cities away from home. And now I live at home. Although it has always been a trend (especially those 'bambinos!'), it does feel like such a revert-back situation to age 16 and "Well, how late are you going to be out tonight so I don't have to worry?"-ness.

I am extremely grateful that I DO have a place to go, don't get me wrong, and willing to do whatever it takes for that independence. But what a life! Any horror stories or thoughts on the matter?

 

[Harp]

I left home at 17 and returned back in my early twenties after a war,
and some additional globe-trotting wanderlust; enrolled in college on
the GI Bill and tried to make the best of a recessionary economy.
It wasn't easy-at first-or ever for that matter, but I was blessed by
a wonderful family and the admittedly great feeling of being back home.
Nothing like home cooking and sisters with lots of single girlfriends.

 

[davestlouis]

I knew a family back in the 80s...they had 10 kids as I recall, and the father owned several apartment buildings. He would have a big high school graduation/moving party for each kid...he moved them out of his house, put them up in one of his apartments, with 90 days free rent. After the 90 day grace period, he expected them to be self-sufficient, and either start paying, or get out and find somewhere else to live.

The way things are now, I'm not sure how well that would work.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Just don't let it last too long. My brother has been living back with my parents for 2 years or so since splitting up with his girlfriend.

Total regression to childhood, I don't think he'll ever leave again. The man is 35 years old and has 2 children: There is no way he should be sponging off my parents, an extra mouth sucking up whatever retirement funds they might have socked away.

bk

 

[Undertow]

I know I've had my scary situations in the past, but I simply will not live with my parents. I moved out when I was 17, never to turn back.

I've already been homeless, lived out of cars, lived on people's floors, lived with friends, until I could finally make enough money to live on my own - all while going to college and maintaining a job (spending four semesters in the dorms helped!). I've settled for food out of the trash, or no food at all. I've worn (and wear) clothes until they are rags, and then I wear them until they fall off me. And then I wear them some more. If someone found it necessary to pass judgement, all I could say was, "I can't afford anything nicer." [huh]

I don't have kids, I'm in good health and I have my wits. Thus, I shall live under a bridge or in a hole under a tarp if necessary. But never with my parents.

And that's just my perspective. I'm certainly not making a judgement call on anyone.

 

[davestlouis]

When I got out of college, my mother told me I was welcome to come home as long as I liked, or 2 weeks, whichever came first. As you can imagine, I never went home...

 

[Geesie]

I earned my way through college (scholarship and menial labor), joined the Navy, lived well below my means to save up for graduate school. Now I'm about to finish grad school and job prospects are pretty dim.
While doing thesis research, I stayed with my parents for a month this summer and last summer and that was enough. I can't imagine moving back (not that I would - I'm married) and actually living with them.

Fortunately (that sounds bad), my wife's grandmother died recently and my in-laws will let us use her house until I can find a job. I feel bad about it, since I'll be 30 next year and I've earned everything I have since the age of 18. But I am married, and it would be excessive pride to pass that offer up.

 

[Miss Peach]

Just don't let it last too long. My brother has been living back with my parents for 2 years or so since splitting up with his girlfriend.

Total regression to childhood, I don't think he'll ever leave again. The man is 35 years old and has 2 children: There is no way he should be sponging off my parents, an extra mouth sucking up whatever retirement funds they might have socked away.

bk

Completely agreed, BK. I finally found a really wonderful job and am going to live the way I'd like to, but it has been (trying not to sound spoiled but it's more independence talking here) a rather depressing year+ of searching. I actually cried when I got the "pay your dues" post graduate-school filler job. It was adjunct lecturer for one credit hour under full time (aka no benefits and babysitter pay and thus living at home).

Experience is the best teacher. Meanwhile I have a spare room chock full of antiques ready to be moved O-U-T.

 

[Brad Bowers]

Completely agreed, BK. I finally found a really wonderful job and am going to live the way I'd like to, but it has been (trying not to sound spoiled but it's more independence talking here) a rather depressing year+ of searching. I actually cried when I got the "pay your dues" post graduate-school filler job. It was adjunct lecturer for one credit hour under full time (aka no benefits and babysitter pay and thus living at home).

Experience is the best teacher. Meanwhile I have a spare room chock full of antiques ready to be moved O-U-T.

Sounds like a familiar refrain. I'm an adjunct as well, just under full-time. It's fun, and it's a job I'm thankful to have, but I keep hoping something full time will come along one of these days.

Brad

 

[Miss Peach]

Sounds like a familiar refrain. I'm an adjunct as well, just under full-time. It's fun, and it's a job I'm thankful to have, but I keep hoping something full time will come along one of these days.

Brad

I sympathize thoroughly!

 

[Chas]

I'm more inclined to ask the question of why so many baby boomers lack backbone, or at the least the capacity to tell their brats to get jobs and real lives.

They've raised a generation of narcissists; "Gen-Y" should heretofore be known as "Gen-Whine".

 

[Beaubeau]

I live with my parents because their health is really starting to fade a little too quickly for my liking and I'm taking care of them. While they can live alone, their bodies aren't what they're used to be and this is what I can do for them. I don't really like them, but they are my parents and they changed my diapers so I can certainly change theirs.

So basically, I'm an in house maid and nurse that happens to be their son. Not a bad deal while seeking a college education.

 

[Vintage lover]

Just don't let it last too long. My brother has been living back with my parents for 2 years or so since splitting up with his girlfriend.

Total regression to childhood, I don't think he'll ever leave again. The man is 35 years old and has 2 children: There is no way he should be sponging off my parents, an extra mouth sucking up whatever retirement funds they might have socked away.

bk

You think that's bad, I know a man who's 41 years old and still living with his mother. (Then again, he does have certain serious habits)
I'm 18 and I have been invited to live at my mom and dad's house until I finish college and get on my feet. (My Grandmother and Grandfather raised me so I call them mom and dad)

 

[ScionPI2005]

I can relate to this somewhat. I'm 25 years old, and graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Criminology in December of 2008. Before that, I'd had roughly four years of investigative experience in the private sector here in Albuquerque and worked various security jobs. I lived on my own throughout my college career.

To this day, I have been struggling to land a decent job which allows me to make ends meet without going into debt. I moved back in with my parents after graduating and started my job search. My parents are here in Albuquerque, we get along well, and I'm an only child, so it has worked out well. In May of 2009, I finally landed a security job at the police department of the university where I got my degree. For the next fifteen months, I bid on nearly one-hundred federal jobs in various places around the country, without success and without even getting selected for a panel. When I called the human resources assistant for a job in Denver, they told me they had over 700 people apply for one position, and could not get past veteran's preference; thus, could not tell me where I ranked.

I finally got, and accepted a federal job with TSA a little over a month ago and started that job a week ago. In addition, I'm an independently licensed private investigator, and certified paralegal and plan on trying to do legal investigations for attorneys in my spare time to make ends meet (TSA is currently paying the equivalent of what the university police paid me, although part time, so I small step in the right direction).

I plan on trying to get my own place within the next few months as things fall into place more. The past almost two years has been quite a struggle and eye opener. I think there are a lot of people really struggling.

 

[LordBest]

I am stranded at home at 25 due to an unfortunate and unavoidable concatenation of circumstances. Thankfully, I am now able to spend half my week at my university campus. I can't imagine why anyone would wish to stay at home if their situation allowed them the opportunity of maintaining their own establishment.

 

[Puzzicato]

I also landed back home from 21 - 25. I get along extremely well with my mother, but the first year back was very, very taxing on both of us.

 

[ScionPI2005]

I also landed back home from 21 - 25. I get along extremely well with my mother, but the first year back was very, very taxing on both of us.

It can be. Especially if you're a primarily independent person who has had a taste for making it on your own. To be quite honest, I'm still dealing with my own thoughts on living at home, and there are sometimes when I feel like less of a person because of it. I have to stop and remind myself that it has nothing to do with what I'm personally in control of, but merely the combination of environmental factors. I'm thankful to have the option to live at home instead of racking up debt that would take me the rest of my life to try to straighten out.

 

[Miss Peach]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Puzzicato
I also landed back home from 21 - 25. I get along extremely well with my mother, but the first year back was very, very taxing on both of us.

It can be. Especially if you're a primarily independent person who has had a taste for making it on your own. To be quite honest, I'm still dealing with my own thoughts on living at home, and there are sometimes when I feel like less of a person because of it. I have to stop and remind myself that it has nothing to do with what I'm personally in control of, but merely the combination of environmental factors. I'm thankful to have the option to live at home instead of racking up debt that would take me the rest of my life to try to straighten out.

Basically... exactly what I was trying to express. My mother LOVES it but I'm sort of curling up and drying out. Glad I'm not alone. It was the worst when someone who waits on us at a restaurant we frequent asked me if my mom picked out my outfit for me. :eusa_doh:

 

[Puzzicato]

Basically... exactly what I was trying to express. My mother LOVES it but I'm sort of curling up and drying out. Glad I'm not alone. It was the worst when someone who waits on us at a restaurant we frequent asked me if my mom picked out my outfit for me. :eusa_doh:

lol wow - charming and tactful!

It is tough. I'd had 3 years of figuring out how I liked to live, and then being back at home brought out the worst of my sulky teenage years. Plus my mum was very sad and concerned because she'd thought that I had things pretty much under control and then I landed back in a bit of a state, manifestly not in control! But needs must.

 

[MikeBravo]

Experience is the best teacher. Meanwhile I have a spare room chock full of antiques ready to be moved O-U-T.

Life is strange. It gives us the test first, and the lesson after