Shocking Stories About Your Golden Era Relatives

[Fading Fast]

My grandmother passed away when I was eight (after a year long, brutal battle with cancer). At that point, I knew she had had a hard life - her WASP family "disowned" her when she married the son of a German immigrant, he then died in the depression and left her in debt with a failing business and an young son (my Dad). She rebuilt that business and did okay from the '50s on.

I also knew her as just my Grandmother. She was no stereotypical warm and cuddly grandmother - she was formidable - but she was a good grandmother. I used to stay at her apartment (sleep on her living room sofa) when my parents wanted a night free (I'm sure that's not how it was sold to me at the time).

She was always attentive and tried to make it a nice time - take me to a movie or out to IHOPs, but she was a disciplinarian and I was always very well behaved with her as she frighten me a bit.

I also remember that her neighbors were a married couple of the same age as her whom she had known for fifty or so years. They would pop in and out of each others' apartments and the husband would take me for walks or to the park. He was a nice guy with a spark for life that made him fun to be with.

While my grandmother was very formal - always dressed up, very proper in grammar and etiquette - with this couple she was informal. The husband would bring over coffee and rolls in the morning sometimes and my Grandmother would sit at the kitchen table with him and me before she was "made up," etc. It was always a nice time when he came over and I remember it as one of my favorite parts of visiting her.

Anyway, about thirty years after she passed away and almost twenty after my Father did (he only lived to be 60), I'm at dinner with my Mom and girlfriend and my mother, after having never said anything about this to me before, casually (mind you) mentions that my Grandmother had, had a forty-plus year affair with the husband of the neighbor couple.

After picking my jaw up from the table, my Mom told me that it was an open secret that everyone knew about at the time - including his wife - but nobody talked about. She also said that my Grandmother told her in that last year, when she was dying of cancer, that they had talked about having him leave his wife and getting married, but neither of them wanted to blast apart two families and create a scandal (it was a different time).

Now when I look back, I can see that all the signs were there if I had, at the age of five and six, known what to look for. They were incredibly comfortable with each other in a way that couples are. She didn't care about him coming in and out of her apartment at any time of day no matter what she was doing (and, otherwise, she was incredible punctilious). And while she got along fine with the wife, the real relationship was with the husband. I took all this in as a kid, but had know way of processing it then.

So, that is the long story of my relative from the Golden Era who lived a life quite different from the one I thought she had. She taught me all good values - honestly, hard work, manners, integrity, kindness to others and the importance of your word being your bond. In every way, other than the affair (I know, "how was the play otherwise Mrs. Lincoln"), I believed she lived her life according to those values - local businessmen told me for years after she had passed away that all you needed from your Grandmother was a handshake as it was as good as a signed contract.

As we all know, the Golden Era had all the drama of human life, but some of it was kept more below the surface than in our show-everything culture today. I thought this was a neat story and might be worthy of a thread as others might have equally or more interesting stories to tell as well.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Grandmothers are known for springing surprises on the grandkids. My own grandmother was someone who insisted on a very strict moral code in the family. She wasn't a delicate flower -- when roused she could, and did, swear like a longshoreman -- but when it came to sexual matters It Just Wasn't Discussed. She'd been told after she had my mother that another baby would likely kill her, so for the next forty-one years, she and my grandfather slept in separate beds and there was no physical intimacy. I never even saw them hold hands. They loved each other very much -- he was faithful to her all that time, right up to the day he died -- but the physical element was completely deleted from their relationship.

In that atmosphere, sex was not discussed in our family. Ever. By anyone. Except for one thing -- we were expected to remain chaste until marriage, and we all did, because she impressed that so strongly upon my mother, me, and my cousin. We wouldn't have considered anything different because she raised us all that way.

One day when I was about twelve years old, I was sitting in her kitchen looking at her scrapbook, and found a little clipping about her wedding in December of 1933. A few pages later I came to another clipping announcing the birth of my uncle in June of 1934. I thought about this for a moment. She was standing there doing the washing, so I looked over and asked "Hey, was Uncle Earle a preemie?"

She shot me a look I'd never seen before. "No," she said, wiping the soap off her hands on her apron. "He was gigantic, in fact, like to tore me in half."

I thought about that for a minute. "You and Papa got married in December," I said, very slowly. "And Earle was born in June. That's -- um -- only six months..."

Before I could finish the sentence she turned away from me and slammed the handle to turn the washing machine back on. I could see the back of her neck was flaming red. I put away the scrapbook, and excused myself from the room. I never raised the question to her again.

Several years later, I was sitting alone in that same kitchen with my grandfather, and he was in a storytelling mood. I asked him the same question I'd asked my grandmother -- "If you were married in December, how could Earle be born six months later?" He took a pull on his pipe and started laughing, very quietly, not wanting her to hear him. He looked over at me and winked. "I knocked her up. She'd kill me if she knew I told you, but I done it on purpose. I wasn't gonna let her get away if I could help it."

I never let on to her that I'd talked to him about it. I never told my mother, either, until this past summer -- figuring she must've figured it out herself, but astonishingly, the matter had never even occured to her. Such things, in our family, Just Weren't Discussed.

 

[tonyb]

My family's closet is so full of skeletons you might mistake it for the Catacombs of Paris.

Just because certain things weren't mentioned in polite company (you'd a'thunk the word "sex" itself was spelled with four letters) doesn't mean those things that went unmentioned went undone.

There's something to be said for referring to less-than-comfortable topics obliquely or euphemistically or not at all, but there's a lot to be said against it, too. We can well imagine how much cover that reticence gave to those weird old uncles.

As to Fading Fast's grandmother and her lengthy affair with the neighbor fellow ...

I can't imagine how the fellow's wife would have been unaware. She may well have chosen NOT to see it, but c'mon, she had to know. And I can envision how it might have been pretty much okay by her.

I'm acquainted with a married couple (a man/woman couple, just to be clear here in 2015), the female half of which thinks that polygamy might not be such a bad idea. Those of us who know these people well theorize that she has sapphic tendencies and would rather the physical aspects of their marriage be some other girl's "problem." But she's something of a fundamentalist in her religious views and her church has yet to embrace same-sex relationships. Indeed, they would likelier condone plural marriage.

 

[tonyb]

Before you get in line for DNA testing, be prepared for what the results might tell you.

My maternal grandfather was not only of "illegitimate" birth, he was the product of an incestuous relationship. I suspect such things were quite common back then, when young women were said to have gone off to visit their out-of-state aunts for a few months, until the outward evidence went away.

There are almost countless other scenarios, of course. Many was the baby of the family that was in reality the baby of the eldest girl child. It happened in the finest families, you know, and still does.

 

[Stearmen]

I had a Great Uncle I never knew, because he died in the 20s. Seems, something went wrong with the corn mash, and he died of Strychnine poisoning. It was prohibition and he was a Moonshiner! He is the one relative I wish I could have meant!

 

[tonyb]

My relatives were known to smoke indoors, in the presence of children. And to drive without seatbelts. And to cook with lard and whole milk and bleached flour. And to toss cigarette butts out the car window.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I had a Great Uncle I never knew, because he died in the 20s. Seems, something went wrong with the corn mash, and he died of Strychnine poisoning. It was prohibition and he was a Moonshiner! He is the one relative I wish I could have meant!

We had a bootlegger in my family as well, my grandfather's oldest brother. His cover was driving a taxicab, but his real business was meeting the boats from Canada in little out-of-the-way coves.

My grandmother, a strict grape-juice Methodist, had little use for him -- he'd gotten hold of some wood alcohol at some point, and more than a few of his customers were harmed by it -- and he had a reputation for being a stereotypical old miser by the time I came along. He died when I was eight years old, and he wasn't even cold before my uncle led a band of relatives up to his house to ransack it for his rumored stash of money. My cousin and I tagged along to see what it was all about, and saw normally-reasonable-acting people demolishing the house with hatchets, axes, and crowbars. Finally one of my great-aunts slashed open the mattress with a straight razor and out tumbled what turned out to be over $20,000 in small bills.

I always felt guilty about all that. He didn't like most of the family, but for some reason he was always nice to me, and always let me ride in his cab for free.

 

[Fading Fast]

Lizzie, that - the ransacking of the house - is a fantastic story. It could come right out of a movie.

And your earlier post about the "preemie" birth reminds me of one of my father's sarcastic lines (he rarely spoke and when he did it was normally cynical but not necessarily wrong): "the first kid can come any time, after that, they all seem to take about nine months."

 

[LizzieMaine]

I suspect such things were quite common back then, when young women were said to have gone off to visit their out-of-state aunts for a few months, until the outward evidence went away.

One of my mother's classmates in the gee-whiz-wholesome-squeaky-clean-fifties got pregnant her junior year. I asked what the girl did about the situation, and my mother's reply was extremely matter-of-fact: "She got rid of it."

 

[LizzieMaine]

Lizzie, that - the ransacking of the house - is a fantastic story. It could come right out of a movie.

My aunt who found the money kept it, and nobody dared to argue the point with her. She had been one of the first female longshormen in the union, and was tougher than any of the men in the family.

To this day there's nothing left of that house but a pile of old boards on the lot.

 

[Fading Fast]

My aunt who found the money kept it, and nobody dared to argue the point with her. She had been one of the first female longshormen in the union, and was tougher than any of the men in the family..

Your aunt and my grandmother - nobody was going to mess with my grandmother. Long before women's empowerment, etc., she empowered herself quite well thank you.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Most of the women I've known of the 1900-1920 generation were forces to be reckoned with. Not a delicate flower in the bunch. Another of my great-aunts had polio as a kid, but absolutely refused to use a wheelchair, a crutch, or a cane. She propelled herself about the house by sheer force of will, and if you offered to help her she'd snarl at you. She also refused to let anybody beat her at cribbage -- not even six-year-old me. She was absolutely ruthless.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

The only thing in my family I can think of is my Dad telling me about how he slept with an officer's wife when he was in the Army during the Korean War.

 

[vintage.vendeuse]

At a family gathering my mother revealed my grandfather was a bit of a womanizer. She related a memory of when she was about six years old. Her father was a sheet-metal worker at the time and somehow her mother got wind of him making saucepans with the scraps for another local woman. One thought led to another and mom says grandma marched her and her brother over to this woman's house, knocked on the door and when she answered, started brandishing a hairbrush threatening the woman to stay away from her husband and loudly telling the woman that he's got a wife and two kids at home and she's not to be accepting any more saucepans from him!!

At this point in the story, my 27yo daughter turned to her boyfriend of one year and said, "I better not catch you making any saucepans for someone else!" We all had a laugh and "making saucepans" has now become family slang for having an affair.

 

[Fading Fast]

The only thing in my family I can think of is my Dad telling me about how he slept with an officer's wife when he was in the Army during the Korean War.

I think you just describe the plot of "From Here to Eternity." That is not a "the only thing," that's a pretty interesting story.

 

[Alice Blue]

Both my mother's and my father's families were contacted by relatives we never knew we had - daughters who had been given up for adoption long ago. The long-lost daughter on my Mom's side is now part of the family, while the one who contacted my Dad's family has not been interested in any further contact after learning who her mother had been. Sadly, her mother had already passed away so she never had a chance to meet her. There's a bit of irony to the situation since my paternal grandmother, who prized respectability above all things, was very concerned about the continuation of the family line and name. However my generation is childless, so the only reason the family will not die out in the United States is thanks to her sister in law's secret.

 

[Fading Fast]

At a family gathering my mother revealed my grandfather was a bit of a womanizer. She related a memory of when she was about six years old. Her father was a sheet-metal worker at the time and somehow her mother got wind of him making saucepans with the scraps for another local woman. One thought led to another and mom says grandma marched her and her brother over to this woman's house, knocked on the door and when she answered, started brandishing a hairbrush threatening the woman to stay away from her husband and loudly telling the woman that he's got a wife and two kids at home and she's not to be accepting any more saucepans from him!!

At this point in the story, my 27yo daughter turned to her boyfriend of one year and said, "I better not catch you making any saucepans for someone else!" We all had a laugh and "making saucepans" has now become family slang for having an affair.

:eusa_clap Nice.

(Names changed to protect identities) This Christmas my girlfriend's college sophomore nephew, Tom, brought home his girlfriend, Britney, for Christmas who - based on the nephew's older brother, plus oddly, what my grandmother heard - is, how shall one say this, not discriminating in her behavior with boys and not just my nephew. And while it is wrong to use this as the only criteria, she certainly dressed and acted the part: it is cold in Michigan at Christmas, but she was not wearing enough clothes to stay warm (in the summer, let alone in a Michigan winter).

Being good WASPs and well-manerred people, everybody was very politic and ingratiating to her (she was laconic and stuck like glue - literally - to our nephew, Tom). After they left, and it was just my girlfriend, her parents (the nephew's grandparents) and me, the WASP code speak came out such as "his girlfriend Britney is interesting," or "she's quite demonstrative." I just take it all in and say nothing as nobody really ever discusses anything like that in that house - so those few comments were it. Hours later, I asked her Dad (he's in his '80s and has some health issues, so he no longer shovels their snow, etc.) if he had hired a snow plowing service for the winter. He said, he was still deciding if he wanted to pay for the season or for each plow. Without thinking, I said, "kind of like how Britney charges."

My girlfriend punched me, her Dad smiled ironically, her Mom was out of the room and nobody said another word. On the plane flight home, my girlfriend said to me it was wrong to say, but it was very funny.

Every family has a lot of stuff going on.

 

[Fading Fast]

Most of the women I've known of the 1900-1920 generation were forces to be reckoned with. Not a delicate flower in the bunch. Another of my great-aunts had polio as a kid, but absolutely refused to use a wheelchair, a crutch, or a cane. She propelled herself about the house by sheer force of will, and if you offered to help her she'd snarl at you. She also refused to let anybody beat her at cribbage -- not even six-year-old me. She was absolutely ruthless.

I loved and respected my Grandmother, but man, she frightened me. I never was and never wanted to be on the wrong side of her. She had a presence and demeanor that said, don't mess with me and you will take me seriously. Nobody every treated her like an "old lady."

 

[2jakes]

This occurred in the early 50s. And it may sound like a scene from a gangster movie, but it did happen. My aunt's husband on my mother's side of the family was machine gunned in front of his house by the mob .
(Drug deal gone bad) I remember seeing the photo on the newspaper. Three cars were involved, one in front, one in the rear to prevent my uncle from taking off while the third car went on the side & sprayed him with bullets. Neighbors saw it & talked about it...but not to the cops.
The poor soul was found with his hand clutching his holstered gun. Didn't have time to pull it out. My sister took the surviving baby boy to another state. She was not aware that the mob was after the boy at the time. Years later it became known somehow. Why she was not found by the mob is still a mystery/miracle to this day. I recall that my mom & dad who when visiting that family...always wondered how my aunt & uncle could afford the "gold" plumbing in the bathroom. My folks were so naive.
Much later, they found out.

 

[Two Types]

My great grandmother was a bit of a character: She had 12 children by a number of men (no one is quite sure how many father's there were!). She was married twice and walked out on her first husband to marry her second one (my great grandfather). Her eldest son went by the name of 'Uncle Shock' but my mum never knew who he really was until many years after that generation had all died off.
My mum remembered her grandmother as a really untidy old woman:

She wasn't really concerned with the moral concerns of outsiders and when my grandmother fell pregnant 'out of wedlock' she told her she there was no need to get married because the family would support her choice to be a single mother (although at the last minute she decided to marry my grandfather).