Shocking Stories About Your Golden Era Relatives

[DecoDame]

Since "the ladies" are involved in most of these stories, I think we can take it. lol

I surprise myself that I’m going to contribute my own tale here, because the one thing my Mom drilled into my head (more by example than lecture) is to keep your family business in the family, and not share your troubles outside it. And that business rarely got spoken about within the family, either!

Maybe because it’s got to do with my paternal family, which we didn’t have much to do with, so it feels a little detached to me, personally. But anyway…

My paternal grandfather, Earl, was by all accounts a stinker and a nasty drunk. He had been in the Army during WW2, and I only know that because I have pictures. He didn't talk about it, or anything else, really. He was a small, wiry man who chain smoked and always was in a bad mood. My aunt, his daughter, told me that when she was very little (she was the youngest) she would look out the window of their second story city apartment when it was time for him to come home from the factory. If his hat was firmly over his brow, she’d relax. If his hat was shoved to the back of his head, she knew he’d stopped off at the bar on the way home and that night would be extra trouble.

A favorite joke of his, I’m told, was to put beer in the baby bottles and watch his toddler sons get drunk. Well, that “took” with all but one of his sons, and they became slaves to the bottle, too. Needless to say, the family was a mess and always feuding with each other about something, while my sweet, quiet, long suffering, tee-totaling grandmother tried to hold everything together.

Flash forward to when I was a kid in the 70s. A call came with the news that my grandfather had suddenly died. My family being my family, it took some time before the details trickled down. First, word was that it was a suicide. That my grandfather had put a gun to his head. That was scandal enough to shock my young self. But then, when I got older, my mother finally told me more. Seems Earl (who I hadn’t seen in years before his death) had crippling arthritis, especially in his shoulders. For awhile, he had barely been able to raise his arms much at all. Certainly not to his head. And the killing shot was more to the back of his head, to boot.

Apparently, my grandmother was put in the hospital after Earl’s death, delirious and seeing things (including “Barnabas Collins”, who was coming to get her, she thought). She snapped out of this after a bit and eventually came home.

There had been talk that one of my uncles was there when it happened, too. So the mystery remains: Did my uncle murder my grandfather? Did my grandmother (to protect her son during yet another argument? To protect herself from more abuse and misery)? Did my grandmother have a break, due to witnessing or committing the murder? Or did she fake an episode to protect her son or herself?

Shady stuff. The interesting thing to me now, is that the police never pursued this as a murder case. Either they’re grossly incompetent or they decided to give my grandma a deserved break and look the other way.

But now you know why we didn’t have much to do with that side of the family.

 

[2jakes]

Since "the ladies" are involved in most of these stories, I think we can take it. lol

I surprise myself that I’m going to contribute my own tale here, because the one thing my Mom drilled into my head (more by example than lecture) is to keep your family business in the family, and not share your troubles outside it. And that business rarely got spoken about within the family, either!

Maybe because it’s got to do with my paternal family, which we didn’t have much to do with, so it feels a little detached to me, personally. But anyway…

My paternal grandfather, Earl, was by all accounts a stinker and a nasty drunk. He had been in the Army during WW2, and I only know that because I have pictures. He didn't talk about it, or anything else, really. He was a small, wiry man who chain smoked and always was in a bad mood. My aunt, his daughter, told me that when she was very little (she was the youngest) she would look out the window of their second story city apartment when it was time for him to come home from the factory. If his hat was firmly over his brow, she’d relax. If his hat was shoved to the back of his head, she knew he’d stopped off at the bar on the way home and that night would be extra trouble.

A favorite joke of his, I’m told, was to put beer in the baby bottles and watch his toddler sons get drunk. Well, that “took” with all but one of his sons, and they became slaves to the bottle, too. Needless to say, the family was a mess and always feuding with each other about something, while my sweet, quiet, long suffering, tee-totaling grandmother tried to hold everything together.

Flash forward to when I was a kid in the 70s. A call came with the news that my grandfather had suddenly died. My family being my family, it took some time before the details trickled down. First, word was that it was a suicide. That my grandfather had put a gun to his head. That was scandal enough to shock my young self. But then, when I got older, my mother finally told me more. Seems Earl (who I hadn’t seen in years before his death) had crippling arthritis, especially in his shoulders. For awhile, he had barely been able to raise his arms much at all. Certainly not to his head. And the killing shot was more to the back of his head, to boot.

Apparently, my grandmother was put in the hospital after Earl’s death, delirious and seeing things (including “Barnabas Collins”, who was coming to get her, she thought). She snapped out of this after a bit and eventually came home.

There had been talk that one of my uncles was there when it happened, too. So the mystery remains: Did my uncle murder my grandfather? Did my grandmother (to protect her son during yet another argument? To protect herself from more abuse and misery)? Did my grandmother have a break, due to witnessing or committing the murder? Or did she fake an episode to protect her son or herself?

Shady stuff. The interesting thing to me now, is that the police never pursued this as a murder case. Either they’re grossly incompetent or they decided to give my grandma a deserved break and look the other way.

But now you know why we didn’t have much to do with that side of the family.

I believe that things can be shared with non members of the family that will listen without being
critical, bring it up later in anger or pass judgement.
A friend tries to comfort.
Take care,
J

 

[sheeplady]

I just remembered a story my Mother told me about the 1930s. Seems a young women came up pregnant, she was dating two brothers, so her father went to their house with his double barrel shotgun. Holding the barrel with the butt on the ground he said, "one of you is going to make and honest women out of my daughter, I don't care which one of you, I'm not leaving until you do!" The younger brother stepped up, and they were married for over 50 years, and by all accounts happily. Funny thing, every one is sure the younger brother never slept with her until after the wedding.

This is at the end of the Golden Era, but one of my great-uncles got married relatively young and went to Korea. His wife ran around on him, publically, and many thought vindictively. She only wrote him twice while he was overseas. Meanwhile, her little sister was in absolute love with my great-uncle. Adored him. Wrote to him at least once a week- she was a young teen.

My great-uncle came back and told his wife that she had one more chance to fix it up with him; he came home to find her in bed with her current boyfriend. They were divorced, obviously. My great uncle waited until the sister's 18th birthday to take her out on a date. They were married a little over a year later and are still married today.

This was all hush hush in the family, and my great uncle was somewhat ostracized from the family for both getting a divorce (despite everyone pretty much hating wife #1) but especially for marrying the sister. They thought the act of marrying the sister was horrific, despite the two of them being very much in love.

 

[sheeplady]

Shady stuff. The interesting thing to me now, is that the police never pursued this as a murder case. Either they’re grossly incompetent or they decided to give my grandma a deserved break and look the other way. .

My father said growing up there was a man who beat his wife mercilessly. The man was considered vile by everyone in the town, as they knew he often beat his wife to unconsciousness, but that was before women's shelters and that sort of thing.

One day he came home drunk (as usual) and she met him with a double barreled shotgun, she emptied both barrels.

She married the trooper who investigated the case and they had a happy marriage. No charges were ever filed.

I think a lot of small town justice was like that. These people wouldn't step in, but they looked the other way.

 

[Fading Fast]

This is at the end of the Golden Era, but one of my great-uncles got married relatively young and went to Korea. His wife ran around on him, publically, and many thought vindictively. She only wrote him twice while he was overseas. Meanwhile, her little sister was in absolute love with my great-uncle. Adored him. Wrote to him at least once a week- she was a young teen.

My great-uncle came back and told his wife that she had one more chance to fix it up with him; he came home to find her in bed with her current boyfriend. They were divorced, obviously. My great uncle waited until the sister's 18th birthday to take her out on a date. They were married a little over a year later and are still married today.

This was all hush hush in the family, and my great uncle was somewhat ostracized from the family for both getting a divorce (despite everyone pretty much hating wife #1) but especially for marrying the sister. They thought the act of marrying the sister was horrific, despite the two of them being very much in love.

The against divorce thing we know; there must of been some subtler code against marrying back into the same family that I've never heard of or thought about, but that, in the day, was frowned upon. I love that they are stilled married today.

 

[2jakes]

This is at the end of the Golden Era, but one of my great-uncles got married relatively young and went to Korea. His wife ran around on him, publically, and many thought vindictively. She only wrote him twice while he was overseas. Meanwhile, her little sister was in absolute love with my great-uncle. Adored him. Wrote to him at least once a week- she was a young teen.

My great-uncle came back and told his wife that she had one more chance to fix it up with him; he came home to find her in bed with her current boyfriend. They were divorced, obviously. My great uncle waited until the sister's 18th birthday to take her out on a date. They were married a little over a year later and are still married today.

This was all hush hush in the family, and my great uncle was somewhat ostracized from the family for both getting a divorce (despite everyone pretty much hating wife #1) but especially for marrying the sister. They thought the act of marrying the sister was horrific, despite the two of them being very much in love.

Good for them & Thanks for sharing .

 

[sheeplady]

The against divorce thing we know; there must of been some subtler code against marrying back into the same family that I've never heard of or thought about, but that, in the day, was frowned upon. I love that they are stilled married today.

I could kind of understand the divorce thing; that side of the family was devout Catholics. But these individuals hated the ex-wife; I'm not sure what they thought my great-uncle should do with her besides divorce her. It was kind of damned if you do; damned if you don't. I'm sure they would have cut him out to keep the trashy wife away from them. He was remarried in the Catholic Church, granted an annulment too, so I can't understand how this was so horrible.

The family, mainly my great-uncle's sisters, always seemed embarrassed by the remarriage MORE than the divorce. It wasn't like he married a woman that incredibly much younger than him that he was cradle robbing, she was of weak moral, character, OR they had any type romantic relationship before the divorce was final.

I've often wondered if some of it may have been jealousy, as it was mainly his sisters that that criticized him and cut him out. None of his sisters had good marriages- they ranged from worst nightmares to being generally unhappy.

 

[DecoDame]

...I think a lot of small town justice was like that. These people wouldn't step in, but they looked the other way.

I strongly suspect that was the case here...

 

[LizzieMaine]

For what it's worth, public attitudes about divorce were evolving fast in the years after the war. There were more divorces granted in 1946 alone than in any year in prior US history, and that peak remained a record until 1969. A lot of wartime marriages lost their luster real fast once the uniforms came off and the romance was replaced by a sense of "what have I gotten myself into here?"

 

[Fading Fast]

I've often wondered if some of it may have been jealousy, as it was mainly his sisters that that criticized him and cut him out. None of his sisters had good marriages- they ranged from worst nightmares to being generally unhappy.

:nod:

 

[Nobert]

For what it's worth, public attitudes about divorce were evolving fast in the years after the war. There were more divorces granted in 1946 alone than in any year in prior US history, and that peak remained a record until 1969. A lot of wartime marriages lost their luster real fast once the uniforms came off and the romance was replaced by a sense of "what have I gotten myself into here?"

As Bill Mauldin has written about, many wartime couples got married in a spirit of "we may not have the chance again," before the young men shipped out. The divorce laws must also have changed along the way, I know that in the 1920s, you pretty much had to establish residency in Nevada before you could apply for a no-fault divorce.

 

[Fading Fast]

As Bill Mauldin has written about, many wartime couples got married in a spirit of "we may not have the chance again," before the young men shipped out. The divorce laws must also have changed along the way, I know that in the 1920s, you pretty much had to establish residency in Nevada before you could apply for a no-fault divorce.

Good point on the divorce laws - Lizziepedia?

 

[AdeeC]

About 25 years ago I went to visit my elderly grandmother before she passed away in Italy whom I had not seen or spoken to since I was about 5 years old when the family moved to Australia. My grandmother never went to school or had travelled more than a 100km from her home town. When I visited her she was overjoyed to see me and spoke to me in English. I recognised some old fashioned slang words. That kind of surprised me. I asked her how she learned to speak the language. She told me she learned it during the Great War from the "Tommies" when she was a teenager. Fine boys and a lot of fun they were she recounted. I always thought she was a prim and proper type and this put some uncomfortable thoughts into my head. I later told my mother about this and she claimed she was unaware grandmother knew English. The matter was never discussed again.

 

[tonyb]

The notions some of us had of our female ancestors might have us wondering how they ever became ancestors. Maybe a little bird had something to do with it?

 

[AdeeC]

The notions some of us had of our female ancestors might have us wondering how they ever became ancestors. Maybe a little bird had something to do with it?

I am sure many family histories have a corrupted database.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The notions some of us had of our female ancestors might have us wondering how they ever became ancestors. Maybe a little bird had something to do with it?

Modern folk fall victim to the fallacious belief that *talking about it* and *actually doing it* are the same thing.

Not that people in the Era didn't talk about it, sing about it, write books about it, or make movies about it. They were just more clever in the way they put things. A song lyric suggesting that "someone's gonna paradise her" shows you can be pretty explicit without using four-letter words.

 

[tonyb]

Modern folk fall victim to the fallacious belief that *talking about it* and *actually doing it* are the same thing.

Not that people in the Era didn't talk about it, sing about it, write books about it, or make movies about it. They were just more clever in the way they put things. A song lyric suggesting that "someone's gonna paradise her" shows you can be pretty explicit without using four-letter words.

Nothing quite like plausible (if not quite believable) deniability. I gotta wonder how many of the more poetic expressions flew over how many millions of heads like so many geese headed south. Gotta wonder also how many parents let their kids sing along to such popular tunes in the full knowledge that the youngsters had no idea how those lyrics might otherwise be interpreted.

"Sugar" got lots of play (as in "needin' a little sugar in that bowl"), and it does still, for those with an ear for such things.

 

[jamespowers]

I strongly suspect that was the case here...

In my grandparent's neighborhood back in the golden era, wife beating just wasn't looked down upon---you got it good if you did it. If it wasn't from the wife's brothers then it was from one of the neighborhood men who straightened him out REAL good. He got a warning and then a straightening if the warning wasn't heeded. I think my own grandfather had to do a little "straightening" a few times. They usually got it the first times---he had hands like hams.

 

[2jakes]

In my grandparent's neighborhood back in the golden era, wife beating just wasn't looked down upon---you got it good if you did it. If it wasn't from the wife's brothers then it was from one of the neighborhood men who straightened him out REAL good. He got a warning and then a straightening if the warning wasn't heeded. I think my own grandfather had to do a little "straightening" a few times. They usually got it the first times---he had hands like hams.

I will put the hurt on any "man" that should do that to a women. And not to be
disrespectful...but the same goes to any man that hurts dogs or cats.

 

[jamespowers]

I will put the hurt on any "man" that should do that to a woman. And not to be
disrespectful...but the same goes to any man that hurts dogs or cats.

There is a great and long tradition for it.