Pilgrim
One Too Many
- Messages
- 1,719
- Location
- Fort Collins, CO
"All intimate sex outside of marriage is bad. I didn't make the rules; I just know what they are."
That sentence is missing two important words that should be appended at the end: ...."for me."
The corrected and accurate sentence would read:
"All intimate sex outside of marriage is bad. I didn't make the rules; I just know what they are for me".
Outside of the constraints imposed under our legal system, no person in the US is entitled to state what the rules are for any other person's behavior. We can approve or disapprove, state and argue our reasons, and much of the time the people around us will agree with us. But those are NOT "rules" that apply to others.
None of us get to set "the rules" for any person except us and our minor children, and if those rules contradict US and/or local laws, we are accountable under our legal system. We certainly have social contracts, and social mores, and common behaviors that are shared in our society. But those aren't "rules" in the formal sense. They are common behaviors and the sanctions that result from deviating from those common behaviors are social, not legal.
In short, "you're not the boss of me". (That's "you in the abstract, not you personally.) Even if I agree with your opinion, other people's rules are just that....other people's rules. They don't control my beliefs or actions.
I'm not arguing pro or con any particular set of actions - I'm standing up for my rights, and for ALL OF YOUR rights. My goal in this post is to remind us all that we tend to project our desired behaviors onto others and express those as "rules", when in fact they are not rules to the other person.
That sentence is missing two important words that should be appended at the end: ...."for me."
The corrected and accurate sentence would read:
"All intimate sex outside of marriage is bad. I didn't make the rules; I just know what they are for me".
Outside of the constraints imposed under our legal system, no person in the US is entitled to state what the rules are for any other person's behavior. We can approve or disapprove, state and argue our reasons, and much of the time the people around us will agree with us. But those are NOT "rules" that apply to others.
None of us get to set "the rules" for any person except us and our minor children, and if those rules contradict US and/or local laws, we are accountable under our legal system. We certainly have social contracts, and social mores, and common behaviors that are shared in our society. But those aren't "rules" in the formal sense. They are common behaviors and the sanctions that result from deviating from those common behaviors are social, not legal.
In short, "you're not the boss of me". (That's "you in the abstract, not you personally.) Even if I agree with your opinion, other people's rules are just that....other people's rules. They don't control my beliefs or actions.
I'm not arguing pro or con any particular set of actions - I'm standing up for my rights, and for ALL OF YOUR rights. My goal in this post is to remind us all that we tend to project our desired behaviors onto others and express those as "rules", when in fact they are not rules to the other person.