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SERIOUS laughs.

mysterygal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,667
Location
Washington
or, am I the one who is :eek:fftopic: ?:eusa_doh: .....was just going for some 'serious laughs' ;) Monty Python lines always seem to do the trick for me :)
 

mysterygal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,667
Location
Washington
Inspector: 'ELLO!
Mr. Hilton: 'Ello.
Inspector: Mr. 'ilton?
Hilton: A-yes?
I: You are the sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?
H: I am, yes.
I: Constable and I are from the 'ygiene squad, and we'd like to have
a word with you about your box of chocolates entitled the "Whizzo Quality
Assortment".
H: Oh, yes.
I: If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue.
Now this is extremely nasty. (pause) But we can't prosecute you for that.
H: Ah, agreed.
I: Then we have number four. Number four: Crunchy Frog.
H: Yes.
I: Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in 'ere?
H: Yes, a little one.
I: What sort of frog?
H: A...a *dead* frog.
I: Is it cooked?
H: No.
I: What, a RAW frog?!?
H: Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq,
cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in
a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and
lovingly frosted with glucose.
I: That's as may be, but it's still a frog!
H: What else?
I: Well, don't you even take the bones out?
H: If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?
I: Constable et one of those!! We have to protect the public!
C: Uh, would you excuse me a moment, Sir? (exits)
I: We have to protect the public! People aren't going to think there's a real
frog in chocolate! Constable thought it was an almond whirl!
They're bound to expect some sort of mock frog!
H: (outraged) MOCK frog!?! We use NO artificial additives or preservatives of
ANY kind!
I: Nevertheless, I advise you in future to replace the words "Crunchy Frog"
with the legend, "Crunchy, Raw, Unboned Real Dead Frog" if you wish to avoid
prosecution!
 
From the funny to the sublime

The 10 Dumbest Questions Asked by Cruise Passengers



1. Does the crew sleep on board?

2. What time is the midnight buffet?

3. Which elevator takes me to the front of the ship?

4. Do you generate your own electricity?

5. Is this island totally surrounded by water?

6. Is the water in the toilet salt or fresh?

7. What language do they speak in Alaska?

8. What do you do with the ice carvings after they melt?

9. How high above sea level are we?

10. How do we know which pictures are ours? :p
 

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