Radical life change needed!

[angeljenny]

I love the vintage 1950’s look so much, the hair, the clothes, the make-up – everything!

I have been deluding myself that I can pull off this look with the body shape I have now but deep down I know that I can’t so I really don’t feel confident to wear the look. I don’t want to put on a pretty dress and feel like a monster in it. I have come to the realisation that in order to truly feel confident in the clothes style I love I need more of a 1950’s figure.

I kept trying to convince myself that it was fine and that, even if my figure was so far from good, I could look okay in the clothes. Some people seem to be able to look amazing in anything regardless of their size but I just can’t. It isn’t all about looks for me though – I want to feel healthy and take care of myself. It is crazy that eating a lot of carbs makes me feel so sluggish but I do it anyway!

My aim is to lose weight and tone up. Oh and find some exercises to get my out of control hourglass shape back in control!

I have a book which shows a chart of ideal weights and measurements for each height – totally scared myself by how far I am from the ideal given. So much work to do!

The first book says……

Your Ideal Weight

Group 1 – Height 5’ to 5’3 wrist measure 5 1/2”
Step One – allow 100 lbs. for the first 5’.
Step Two – add 5 lbs. for each inch you measure over 5’ for your total.
Caution – if your wrist is larger than 5 5/8”, add 5 lbs. to the total; is your wrist measures smaller than 5 1/2”, subtract 5 lbs. from the total.

The second book says……

Height – short – under 5’4
Bust 32 – 33
Waist 22 – 23
Hip 32 – 33
Upper Thigh 18 1/2
Calf 12 1/2
Ankle 7 1/2
Upper Arm 8 1/2

A 22 inch waist!!!! I have such a long way to go – I guess that is the denial over with!

Has anyone else ever totally changed their lifestyle, health and body? If so do you have any tips?

I was thinking of following the diet from one of the books but I might be better just going low carb.

 

[djd]

Ive done a bit of personal training in the past. The absolute key is to find some form of exercise that you ENJOY. If you hate it you will not keep it up whatever. I loathe running (plus my knees and ankles are not up to it anymore) but I love weight training. Find something you like. Stick with it and make sure that you challenge yourself everytime out. Try and run a bit faster, try and swim a bit further, lift a bit more, dance a bit longer... Push yourself and you'll start to get a real sense of accomplishment. You can do it but 'no pain no gain' is the truth. Dosent mean you can't enjoy the pain though

Don't worry about weight too much. Go on how you look in the mirror - muscle weighs a lot more than fat so weight alone can fool you.

 

[RodeoRose]

Don't be so hard on yourself!! To be honest, those given ideal measurements sound a little scary. If you're a natural beanpole, that's one thing, but I don't think whittling yourself down to a 22" waist should be your goal. Every woman is built differently; perhaps you should just focus on eating right and getting toned up for now. Maybe look into some shapewear, too... you can look like dynamite with a 40" waist if you cultivate your curves!

 

[angeljenny]

Ive done a bit of personal training in the past. The absolute key is to find some form of exercise that you ENJOY. If you hate it you will not keep it up whatever. I loathe running (plus my knees and ankles are not up to it anymore) but I love weight training. Find something you like. Stick with it and make sure that you challenge yourself everytime out. Try and run a bit faster, try and swim a bit further, lift a bit more, dance a bit longer... Push yourself and you'll start to get a real sense of accomplishment. You can do it but 'no pain no gain' is the truth. Dosent mean you can't enjoy the pain though

Don't worry about weight too much. Go on how you look in the mirror - muscle weighs a lot more than fat so weight alone can fool you.

The only exercise DVD I have ever done and liked was one by Tracy Anderson - next morning I could really feel it! I really should dust it and start using it again! And the Wii too.

I like weights - well over running and swimming anyway! I still want to look feminine though.

I think one of the hardest things will be diet! I guess I have to grow up and take responsibility for my health - I will regret it if I don't!

 

[angeljenny]

Don't be so hard on yourself!! To be honest, those given ideal measurements sound a little scary. If you're a natural beanpole, that's one thing, but I don't think whittling yourself down to a 22" waist should be your goal. Every woman is built differently; perhaps you should just focus on eating right and getting toned up for now. Maybe look into some shapewear, too... you can look like dynamite with a 40" waist if you cultivate your curves!

According to that chart I need to lose about 10 inches from my waist - not impossible but the bust and hip measurements are highly unlikely! A smaller hourglass is probably my ideal.

I am short (5'2) and have small bones - they are just well padded!

It is a health issue too - I want to feel fit and lively. I guess I have finally reached that point where, instead of pretending that I am okay with how I look, I can't keep lying to myself.

It is quite exciting - plus I want to learn to sew clothes and it will be cheaper if I need less fabric.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Keep in mind that very very few women in the '50s actually had "the ideal body type." Those nipped waists, rounded hips and perky bosoms were the result of carefully-engineered underwear. Think about it -- women in the 50s ate a diet largely composed of protien and starch, very few of them ever set foot in a gym, and most of their excerise came from doing heavy housework. (Do enough loads of washing with a wringer machine and your arms will be pretty toned up.)

I'm certainly not trying to dissuade you from working to be healthier --we all want to do that -- but don't fall into the trap of aspiring to an ideal that most of the women you're looking to emulate didn't actually meet.

 

[djd]

The only exercise DVD I have ever done and liked was one by Tracy Anderson - next morning I could really feel it! I really should dust it and start using it again! And the Wii too.

I like weights - well over running and swimming anyway! I still want to look feminine though.

I think one of the hardest things will be diet! I guess I have to grow up and take responsibility for my health - I will regret it if I don't!

Do not worry about looking feminine. You need testosterone to build large muscles and the vast majority of women do not have much testosterone. There is no danger of you turning into the she hulk believe me

Women with african ancestry tend to have more natural testosterone and are therefore able to build bigger muscles. Female bodybuilders take lots of steroids to boost their testosterone massively to achieve that look

 

[Amy Jeanne]

Only *you* can change your eating and exercise habits, angeljenny. Nothing anyone on here will make a damn bit of difference unless you motivate yourself to do it.

I'm smack dab in the middle of losing 20 lbs. I have stopped sewing and wearing my cute vintage dresses I made because they do not fit me right now. I rarely do my hair these days, too. Working out is more important to me right now and I make sure I do something every day.

I wake up at 4:30am and run. I also hike in the woods, do yoga workouts at home, and do weightlifting workouts at home. Sometimes I like to walk with a heavy backpack. As for diet I am have cut out ALL JUNK FOOD. I have even stopped eating my tofu burger (lunch) on a bun and just eat the burger. I eat lots of fruits, veggies, turkey bacon, eggs/omlettes, sushi, chicken, and other types of cooked fish. I even gave up my "no steak" rule and eat steak every now and again! All in an effort to eat more protein.

I only drink water and skim milk. Nothing else. I don't like soda much (never have). I drink 60-80 oz of water per day.

When I was 17 I weighed 200lbs. I lost 60 lbs that one year and I held firm at 140 lbs up until these past 2 years. Last I weighed myself I was 163 (in April). When I saw that number on the doctor's scale I was flabbergasted and immediately began doing something about it. I have not stepped on a scale since then, but I know I have lost weight because my bras, underwear, and jeans are all loose.

You have to be motivated and stick to it! I've been there once, and I'm going back again before it gets to be too much. You can do it if you really, really want it.

 

[ThePowderKeg]

You have the power to make good choices, and once you get into the habit of asking yourself how a particular choice helps you accomplish your goals, it gets a lot easier.

In no way meant to be discouraging--while you may want to have a radical life change, depending on your personality/motivation/stick-to-it-iveness, you may meet with more success if you set one specific behavioral goal, focus on that until you've got that change pretty well in hand, then add in something new.

To build on what Lizzie said, remember there's a range of healthy weights for every height, and a huge variety of shapes even between women of the same height and weight. While there may be plenty of things about your body that will change through diet and exercise, recognize that there are some things that just won't change, through no fault of yours. My mom and I are the same height and weight, but carry it very differently. I'll never have narrow shoulders, she'll never have narrow hips, but we can both look good.

If you develop a plan for change with realistic expectations, you're much more likely to be satisfied with your results. And really, isn't your goal to be happy with yourself?

Good luck.

 

[AmateisGal]

May I suggest Curves? I'm pretty sure you have it in the UK or maybe something comparable. I really, really like it - I'm done with my work-out in 30 minutes and I work out just about every muscle in my body, plus get in cardio.

I'm not losing weight right now because my hormones are severely out of whack (but I'm going to see an acupuncturist to try and get them back in line!) but I feel so much better when I work out and I know I'm toning. On the days I don't go to Curves, I take nice, long walks in the nearby park. The key is to just get moving.

You can do it!!!

 

[AmateisGal]

To build on what Lizzie said, remember there's a range of healthy weights for every height, and a huge variety of shapes even between women of the same height and weight. While there may be plenty of things about your body that will change through diet and exercise, recognize that there are some things that just won't change, through no fault of yours. My mom and I are the same height and weight, but carry it very differently. I'll never have narrow shoulders, she'll never have narrow hips, but we can both look good.

If you develop a plan for change with realistic expectations, you're much more likely to be satisfied with your results. And really, isn't your goal to be happy with yourself?

Good luck.

This is so true. My genes are against me to a certain point - the females on my mother's side have a history of carrying their weight around their stomach and abdomen area, and that's the area I'm currently fighting right now. I know my metabolism has changed an awful lot from my college days when I weighed 110 lbs. What I wouldn't give to go back to that! But that's just not possible right now.

 

[angeljenny]

Thanks for all the comments! They are really helpful!

I am not trying for perfection or some unattainable ideal. Perfection generally seems to be created by airbrushing!

Basically I want to get back to round about what I used to be. I tend to be a bit of an emotional eater and put quite a bit of weight on when a relative was in intensive care 4 times in 3 years and I put a couple of stones on when I was put on anti-depressants.

I think I need a big aim - I pretty much conquered my dark "depressed" time by myself as the doctors were only prepared to offer medication - which did nothing for me at all. Plus I managed to stop biting my nails and twirling my hair! I want a challenge - this is the last big thing I have to conquer. I know I can do this and I really think that the time is right now. I don't have any huge extra commitments going on at the moment - no more than usual any way so I have the chance to be a bit selfish and to put myself first.

I used to be curvy but still quite petite - my figure fitted with my height. I want my waist back!

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

I know what you mean. I used to have a figure , that in retrospect, was fabulous. But when I entered the "adult world" of work and my own home I also started hitting the fast food and restaurants pretty heavily. It took a decade, but I went from 140 to 220. I just decided that what I had left of youth was flying by and I wasn't ready to give up being a "hottie". First thing, find a diet plan you can live with. I joined weight watchers, and I've lost 15 lbs., but whatever works for you. If soda is a big part of your intake, lose it. I let myself have a Coke in the morning, but then it's hot tea the rest of the day.

Find some exercise you enjoy, but realize that diet is where most of your weight loss occurs. But more muscle=a body that burns calories faster. Like someone said earlier, you WON"T become muscle-bound from weights. You just don't have the testosterone for it. The only time I worked out regularly before now was when I was in the Reserves. Toned yes, bluked up or stringy muscles- definitely not.

Until you get the body you want, enjoy what you've got. Do your hair, nails, and make-up. When you're ready, there's some vintage inspired lines that carry plus sizes. Pick a size at which you'll reward yourself with an outfit. But hats, gloves, and purses don't care about your size. Go with those mixed into your wardrobe. The lucite purses from the 50's are a bit pricey, but you can find bargains and they are darling.

A big aim is good- but break it into smaller goals. A goal of 80 lbs is intimidating. 10 lbs is doable. Focus on the small steps and the big goal will take care of itself. Lose 8 lbs a month, and in a year it's more than 80 lbs.

 

[angeljenny]

I think that being 110 to 120 would be do-able for me. I was thinking for putting a certain amount of money away for each pound that I lose and using that to buy new clothes when I reach my goal. Maybe £10 per pound or something like that.

I hadn't thought of buying accessories - it would be good to have a few things to buy myself as a non-food reward!

Soda and all fizzy drinks are gone! Junk food is out! I don't know why I eat and drink them anyway as they make me feel so tired and drained. If I do sort of medium low carb but still with fruit and vegetables and drink lots of water I feel so much brighter.

Enjoying what I have now is something I find hard. I find that trying the sort of vintage hair and make-up draws attention to me which I really don't like. I do need to practice though! My nail painting skills are atrocious!

 

[djd]

It sounds like you're making a great start with you're diet

Protein powder shakes are good for filling yourself up with little chance of the protein being stored as fat as long as youre doing some exercise.

Good luck!

 

[sheeplady]

My aim is to lose weight and tone up. Oh and find some exercises to get my out of control hourglass shape back in control!

I have a book which shows a chart of ideal weights and measurements for each height – totally scared myself by how far I am from the ideal given. So much work to do!

Height – short – under 5’4
Bust 32 – 33
Waist 22 – 23
Hip 32 – 33
Upper Thigh 18 1/2
Calf 12 1/2
Ankle 7 1/2
Upper Arm 8 1/2

A 22 inch waist!!!! I have such a long way to go – I guess that is the denial over with!

Has anyone else ever totally changed their lifestyle, health and body? If so do you have any tips?

I think the 22 inch waist is unrealistic. I'm pretty thin, have an hour glass figure, and I'll never get to a 22 inch waist unless they cut my organs out. My mother, who is 5'4" was very thin and busty, and she never had a 22 inch waist as an adult with a 33 inch bust.

I have made some major life changes in my life. I was forced to, many years ago because of my health, to totally give up sugar, white flour, wheat, cow's products, gluten, fruit, vinegar, sulfites, additives, and yeast for several years. For a time I could eat nothing processed- not even organic ketchup or mayo. I needed to rotate my foods every 4 days (a rotation diet) and make everything myself. I think that gave me a change in perspective. At the time I was miserable, but I learnt a lot about myself and what was important to me. I had to go from my old diet (which was pretty healthy) to a new diet (very strict) within 2 days. It was horrific at the time, because I had a well stocked pantry and I needed to see my hard work (money) go out the door in grocery bag after grocery bag.

I think the positive thing that such a harsh change was that there was no looking back. I couldn't say, "well, I need to finish this can of refried beans before I start" because it was all gone. I also had made such a change that I was able to easily say, "this is the new me versus the old me. The old me would do x, the new me does y." I think it is a bit like quitting smoking- you need to think of yourself as a non-smoker- not even an ex-smoker but someone who doesn't smoke, with a "quit date." You need to start thinking about the "old you" versus the "new you." Sometimes the new you is going to mess up (after all you were the old you for many years), but the new you has a much different perspective. You need to go through the grieving process for the old you, but that doesn't mean you have to fall back on your old behaviors.

I think it's helpful to outline the (realistic) goals you have for the new you and the attitude you want the new you to have. It could be as simple as "The new angeljenny will workout twice a week for an hour, eat 5 servings of veggies a day, and..." Put it in your kitchen, your bathroom, someplace where you will see it everyday. Start thinking of yourself as having the behaviors you want right now. I also think it's helpful to get a printed calendar and start marking off the weeks you've been the "new you." Reward yourself every milestone- the first week, the first month, the first six months, etc. with a small gift to yourself- something that the "new you" wants- perhaps a nice dress, accessory, or some other treat.

 

[Miss Moonlight]

I'm going to agree on the 22" waist being unrealistic.

I'm 5'3. When I was a fitness nut and raw foodist who ran every other day and did yoga weekly, at my peak physical health? MY waist was 24". I could corset down to 22. The only 22 inch waist I know is my sister who's 5'3 also but very naturally thin- and she wants the hips and curves she'll never have. As a more relaxed but healthy me has a 26-28" waist.

That book's second set of measurements make no sense to me. I'm hourglass, my sis is beanpole, we are both the same height and will never have the same measurements.

And, oh, don't forget that the 'ideal' 50s body is more Rubenesque, anyway. Not saying you should go for any ideal, but saying don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[angeljenny]

It sounds like you're making a great start with you're diet

Protein powder shakes are good for filling yourself up with little chance of the protein being stored as fat as long as youre doing some exercise.

Good luck!

I have a pile of celebrity slim shakes so I might start off on those - medium / low carb and it forces me to drink more water! Plus it means 3 meals and 3 snacks so I can eat at regular intervals.

 

[djd]

I'd be inclined to keep your carbs as low as possible. No carbs before bedtime either - most likely to get stored as fat at that time of day

 

[angeljenny]

I think the 22 inch waist is unrealistic. I'm pretty thin, have an hour glass figure, and I'll never get to a 22 inch waist unless they cut my organs out. My mother, who is 5'4" was very thin and busty, and she never had a 22 inch waist as an adult with a 33 inch bust.

I have made some major life changes in my life. I was forced to, many years ago because of my health, to totally give up sugar, white flour, wheat, cow's products, gluten, fruit, vinegar, sulfites, additives, and yeast for several years. For a time I could eat nothing processed- not even organic ketchup or mayo. I needed to rotate my foods every 4 days (a rotation diet) and make everything myself. I think that gave me a change in perspective. At the time I was miserable, but I learnt a lot about myself and what was important to me. I had to go from my old diet (which was pretty healthy) to a new diet (very strict) within 2 days. It was horrific at the time, because I had a well stocked pantry and I needed to see my hard work (money) go out the door in grocery bag after grocery bag.

I think the positive thing that such a harsh change was that there was no looking back. I couldn't say, "well, I need to finish this can of refried beans before I start" because it was all gone. I also had made such a change that I was able to easily say, "this is the new me versus the old me. The old me would do x, the new me does y." I think it is a bit like quitting smoking- you need to think of yourself as a non-smoker- not even an ex-smoker but someone who doesn't smoke, with a "quit date." You need to start thinking about the "old you" versus the "new you." Sometimes the new you is going to mess up (after all you were the old you for many years), but the new you has a much different perspective. You need to go through the grieving process for the old you, but that doesn't mean you have to fall back on your old behaviors.

I think it's helpful to outline the (realistic) goals you have for the new you and the attitude you want the new you to have. It could be as simple as "The new angeljenny will workout twice a week for an hour, eat 5 servings of veggies a day, and..." Put it in your kitchen, your bathroom, someplace where you will see it everyday. Start thinking of yourself as having the behaviors you want right now. I also think it's helpful to get a printed calendar and start marking off the weeks you've been the "new you." Reward yourself every milestone- the first week, the first month, the first six months, etc. with a small gift to yourself- something that the "new you" wants- perhaps a nice dress, accessory, or some other treat.

Fab ideas - thank you!

Wow - that is a lot of things to give up! I agree that when there isn't a reason forcing you to change it is easy to think "oh, I'll start tomorrow / next week / after my birthday / when the ice cream is gone" and it never happens.

My waist is pretty small in comparison to the rest of me anyway - like one or two dress sizes smaller. I am lucky that, even thought I am short, I am in proportion - well kind of - my bust and hips match!

I like the calender idea and having my goals written somewhere, maybe on my notice board.