Pregnancy when your "older"..

[Drea]

Sorry if this is off subject..well, I know it is!! but I just really needed some advice and I figure that some of you have kids and more knowledge then I do about it so maybe you could help!

I found out the other day that my mom is 6 weeks pregnant. Shes 43..she had her last baby 10 years ago which was my little sister..who came out as wonderful as can be. I'll be 20 almost when this new baby is born..and I have an older brother who's 22 and she went through all the pregnancies fine. But now that she is a little older I'm kinda worried..worried about her being able to handle it and worried about the baby being okay.. she went into the doctor and all her organs and blood work etc. etc. is healthy but she's just a little bit overweight..but healthy..if that makes sense? but for those of you that of had babies is there things I can do to make her more comfurtable and other ways to help that arn't obvious?? is there certain food she should eat or vitamins or anything else??? thank you for your help I know NOTHING about babies or pregnancy or anything..

I was really excited about everything but when I told my friend the news the first thing that popped out of her mouth was that my mom was too old to be having kids and that the baby would be sick..so now I feel much more scared then excited I dont know what she meant by sick anyway..what a bitch.

 

[KittyT]

I don't think there's anything to worry about! Older women have babies all the time and the best thing she can do is eat well, stay active, and discuss it with her doctor and follow his or her recommendations.

 

[Drea]

Thank you KittyT! that made me feel better

 

[Lulu-in-Ny]

I don't think there's anything to worry about! Older women have babies all the time and the best thing she can do is eat well, stay active, and discuss it with her doctor and follow his or her recommendations.

Absolutely. Just make sure that she sees the doctor regularly, and follows his instructions to the letter. As to your friend's point, the fear is that the older you are, the higher the chances of a birth defect, or problems carrying to term. But these are things that can happen at any age. My mom had me when she was 28, and had more problems than she did with my brother, who she had when she was 40. And I know more than one woman who had her children later in life, and none of them had any issues. Best wishes to her!

 

[KittyT]

Thank you KittyT! that made me feel better

Now please keep in mind that I no nothing of childbirth and have never had children. You do hear of older women having children all the time and I know it's more and more common as women focus more on their careers, postponing marriage and childbirth until they are older.

 

[lyburnum]

My Mum was 38 when she had me, 41 when she had my younger sister. 43 isn't old at all for having kids - it probably just seems that way because there's such a big age gap. Try not to worry - I'm sure she'll be fine. As far as I remember, if the first pregnancy goes well, then there's a high probability the following ones will be fine as well

P.S. That was an idiotic thing for your friend to say, IMHO. My mother isn't too old to be a parent at all!

 

[Paisley]

I understand that older women are more at risk ("older" being over 40). Your mother should see a good OB-GYN on a regular basis throughout her pregnancy to help everything go as smoothly as possible. I assume she knows she should do this, though.

As for what to do that isn't obvious, all I can think of is to not repeat to her any inane remarks about her age or health.

 

[Idledame]

I had my first child at 36 and my second at 42. With absolutely no problems for me or the babies. The main problem is just that you have less energy when you're older and less energy when you're pregnant, and put them together and you're pooped! So if you can help with anything like housework, grocery shopping, errands etc. for the next year or so, I'm sure she would appreciate that. You might also spend time with your little sister. She is going from the cute little baby of the family to just an older sister. She might have problems with that. My son went to a class at the hospital about how to be a sibling when I was pregnant with my second. He learned all about how to take care of a baby. It makes them feel a part of it and special, and if you took your sister you would learn too. Hope this helps.

 

[Miss Dottie]

I think the toughest part about having babies in your forties is actually getting pregnant, so congrats to you mother.

All of the reading that I've been doing shows that you shouldn't have any issues--although the chances of having twins goes up after 40.

I suggest she check out sites like BabyCenter as well as listening to her doctor.

 

[Josephine]

I had my last at 35, and my SIL just had my nephew a day or so before she turned 40. There are higher risks for pregnancies over 40, but look at the 1 in 1000 type numbers instead of the percentages, it's really not that much more. Women have been having babies at her age forever.

Energy was the only thing I recall about mine and my SIL's pregnancies. If your mom has access to a pool, get her a membership or the like, floating in the water will be so relaxing; let the water support her weight instead of her muscles! Water exercises will be good for her too, to keep her energy up without the stress of exercises on land.

 

[Joie DeVive]

The other gals on here are correct. It isn't uncommon at all for women to be having babies at that age these days. What you hearing are ideas left over from the past. In the 1930's people only lived to be about 60-65, so yeah, 43 would seem kinda old. But people aged faster back then. We are healthier longer now. It will probably be more difficult for your Mom to recover from this birth than her previous ones because a woman's body is slower to heal in her 40s than in her 20s, but this is normal. I agree that helping out with chores would probably be a Godsend to her.

The ladies are also correct that there is an elevated risk of birth defects and certain pregnancy related problems, but doctors will keep on top of that. She does need to follow doctors orders which will definitely include vitamin supplements, and may require certain tests. These days, doctors can detect many possible health problems for the baby before the child is born, and they can even correct many them. Another interesting bit of information is that the older a woman is, the more likely she is to have a twins. The ultrasound would spot that.

I am also not a mother yet, but my husband's Mother had him at 40, and he was the easier pregnancy and birth, of her two.

 

[Drea]

Thank you all so much for your help!!! even those of you who don't have any kids..it just helps to hear something encourageing you know? I was going to start college this year but I'm going to take another year off so that way I can just work more so my mom won't have to and I can have more time to clean the house and whatever else!!!..I want her to be pampered as hell the whole way through so shes not so stressed out and feels like she still has to do everything. My little sister is extremely excited!!! my little sister being born changed my life..I didn't know you could love someone so much..I can't wait for her to experiance that feeling!!! but I will deffinitly try to spend much more time with her and take her to do things that make her feel special..thank you guys again!!

 

[Aurora]

I was going to start college this year but I'm going to take another year off so that way I can just work more so my mom won't have to and I can have more time to clean the house and whatever else!!!..I want her to be pampered as hell the whole way through so shes not so stressed out and feels like she still has to do everything.QUOTE]

That's so sweet of you.
I don't have kids, so can't comment on that side of things - But your Mom's/Mum's (depends which side of the pond you're on!) doctor will take care of her. 43 is no age at all... So my Mum tells me!

Best of luck with the bundle of joy, I'm going all soft now

 

[Drea]

I think the toughest part about having babies in your forties is actually getting pregnant, so congrats to you mother.

All of the reading that I've been doing shows that you shouldn't have any issues--although the chances of having twins goes up after 40.

I suggest she check out sites like BabyCenter as well as listening to her doctor.

It's funny you'd say that!!!! within the last year my mom started taking more vitamins and stuff so she thinks it probably might have helped her system get stronger which might have made it easier to have a baby..the BabyCenter website is awesome!!! thank you for sharing that with me.. I signed my mom up and I'll make sure we stay extra-on top of everything!!! I want to learn as much as I can..thank you all again..you've really made me feel much better!! my mom too!!

 

[dhermann1]

My grandmother, who was born in 1885, was her mother's 7th child, and was born when her mother was 44 years old. No problem. My great grandmother lived to be 86. I've also read that they've determined that the slosh of hormones a woman's body gets when pregnant at that age can actually ADD to her life expectancy. Regardless, congrats and best wishes! They don't call it a blessed event for nothing!

 

[hotrod_elf]

Sorry if this is off subject..well, I know it is!! but I just really needed some advice and I figure that some of you have kids and more knowledge then I do about it so maybe you could help!

I found out the other day that my mom is 6 weeks pregnant. Shes 43..she had her last baby 10 years ago which was my little sister..who came out as wonderful as can be. I'll be 20 almost when this new baby is born..and I have an older brother who's 22 and she went through all the pregnancies fine. But now that she is a little older I'm kinda worried..worried about her being able to handle it and worried about the baby being okay.. she went into the doctor and all her organs and blood work etc. etc. is healthy but she's just a little bit overweight..but healthy..if that makes sense? but for those of you that of had babies is there things I can do to make her more comfurtable and other ways to help that arn't obvious?? is there certain food she should eat or vitamins or anything else??? thank you for your help I know NOTHING about babies or pregnancy or anything..

I was really excited about everything but when I told my friend the news the first thing that popped out of her mouth was that my mom was too old to be having kids and that the baby would be sick..so now I feel much more scared then excited I dont know what she meant by sick anyway..what a bitch.

My mom had my little brother when she was 43 and had no problems. She had to have a C-section though. She said that was the hardiest. C-sections are hard even if you are 23. The only problem that has come out of her situtation is my step-dad had a heart attack and died when my brother was 10.

I don't see any problem with it. It was weird for me, I was the youngest so I never saw my mother pregnant.

 

[Foofoogal]

Type in pregnancy after 40 on Google and you will find much information.
My mother was 38 when she had me and 42 when she had my baby brother but there are concerns and this is why she needs a good doctor and to take healthy care of herself.
She will be fine I am sure.

 

[Kitty_Sheridan]

Drea,
what a lovely girl you sound-I had my son at 23 so can't comment on older mums but all I know is by about 5-6months you really need a sit down and a cup of tea!
I think you'll all cope brilliantly with your helpful attitude.
:eusa_clap

 

[ASimpleLady]

Babies are great!

I've got a large (unusual) family.

Me (23) brother (21), half-sister (5), half-brother (1) and half-brother (6months)

I understand what you're saying but it'll be great for you and I think that its wonderful to have a new baby!

 

[ShortClara]

Well, it's done now! I don't have anything useful to add, but the best thing is to have good, positive thoughts about your beautiful new brother or sister. Congratulations!