Powder room Finishing School

[Miss Crisplock]

I dispair that I never got the chance to go to finishing school. I don't know the difference between finishing school and charm school, and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to go to modeling school. But it seems there is a lot of knowledge here on the lounge....

What do you know that should be taught to prospective ladies?
How to set a table?
Get into a car?

If we can have our own town, surely we can have a finishing school!

What about it gals?

 

[lindylady]

Sounds like a great idea! Sign me up

 

[~landgirl~]

Me also! Bravo for an excellent idea! :eusa_clap

 

[Paul]

On-line Finishing school

Is someone going to run workshops etc, maybe it would be possible to set up a my space site where video clips of the right way to get out of a car correctly.
Or articles on how to do your hair or arrange flowers etc.
That would be cool1, sorry is cool a word we should use.

 

[GOK]

Oohh how exciting!

 

[shindeco]

There was a British comedy series a while back that was set in a finishing school in the 50s. I can't remember the name but it was great.

Some of their subjects were:

Deportment
Conversation Skills
Dress and Make-up
Ettiquette

(Many years ago, when looking for a job, I did all the exercises in the book "What Colour is your Parachute" (a book designed to help you find the perfect job). When I finished everything, I looked at the results and the first thing that came into my head was "you could get a job teaching in a finishing school". lol All my interests and skills seemed to fit in very nicely. Alas, there were no finishing schools looking for teachers so...)

 

[Classydame]

Sign me up too!

I always wanted to know if your supposed to leave your gloves on to eat or take them off.

 

[shindeco]

Sign me up too!

I always wanted to know if your supposed to leave your gloves on to eat or take them off.

Take 'em off, according to Emily Post, et al.

 

[Lady Day]

My Gilr Scout Troop tool an etiquette/Manners class when were were around 12: How to set a table, how to greet someone, that type of thing.

A lot of it I know, cause I wanted to learn it so I researched it in that mythical place called a li-berry

But it was good to have a 3 corse meal, and to know what utensils to use.

That day class sticks with me to this day.

LD

 

[CanadaDoll]

Very good idea!:eusa_clap

In my humble opinion everyone needs to have a copy of Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, it covers EVERYTHING! lol

I would like to request that if there becomes a my space finishing school that some one please post how to use it, cause I'm not very technologically literate, and I find I don't always understand how to use computers It would really help me out.

 

[shindeco]

Take 'em off, according to Emily Post, et al.

I found it!! I was pretty sure Emily Post had something funny (and practical) on this subject. My copy is the 1956 edition:

Etiquette of Gloves and Napkin

Ladies always wear gloves to formal dinners and take them off at table. Entirely off. It is hideous to leave them on the arm, merely turning back the hands. Both gloves and bag are supposed to be laid across the lap, and one is supposed to lay the napkin, folded once in half across the lap, too, on top of the gloves and wrist bag, and all three are supposed to stay in place on a slippery satin skirt on a lap that more often than not slants downward.

It is all very well for etiquette to say, “They stay there,” but every woman knows they don’t! If you obey etiquette and lay the napkin on top of the bag and gloves loosely across your satin-covered knees, it will depend merely on chance whether the avalanche starts right, left or forward onto the floor. There is just one way to keep these three articles (including the lap as one) from disintegrating, which is to cover the gloves and wrist bag with the napkin put cornerwise across your knees, and tuck the two side corners under like a lap robe, with the gloves and bag tied in place, as it were.

This ought not to be put into a book of etiquette, which should say you must do nothing of the kind, but it is either do that or have the gentleman next to you groping under the table at the end of the meal; and it is impossible to imagine etiquette should whish to conserve the picture of the gentlemen-on-all-fours as a concluding ceremony to dinner.

Post, Emily (1956) The New Emily Post's Etiquette New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company, pp. 358-359.

 

[Paul]

my space finishing school that some one please post how to use it,

My Space has me puzzled so i will be a close second to you:eusa_doh:

 

[BettyValentine]

If I were running a "finishing school" I wouldn't let anyone graduate who had not made a serious effort to learn a foreign language. (any language at all).

Then:
1. How to pay a compliment.
2. How to receive a compliment.
3. How to give/receive gifts.
4. How to eat. (This one might take all year. I eat for a living and I still don't know what to do about bacon.)

 

[MissHuff]

I want to sign up! I know how to set a table but I think I need extra help on what constitutes as polite conversation at a dinner party lol. I definitely don't have the getting out of the car thing down.

 

[Kim_B]

I was searching YouTube the other evening out of curiousity. I was amazed to see some of these posted! It's sad to me what a lot of the comments say, but I figured you gals might appreciate some of these (there are a ton more, but I can't go through and post them all now as I'm at the office.)

Manners for Teens

What To Do on A Date

What Makes A Good Party

Arranging the Tea Table

Everyday Courtesy

 

[LizzieMaine]

My Gilr Scout Troop tool an etiquette/Manners class when were were around 12: How to set a table, how to greet someone, that type of thing.

A lot of it I know, cause I wanted to learn it so I researched it in that mythical place called a li-berry

But it was good to have a 3 corse meal, and to know what utensils to use.

That day class sticks with me to this day.

LD

We had something like that in my Girl Scout days too -- there was a badge for "Hospitality" where you learned all the social-etiquette requirements, and another later on for "Social Dependablity" where the same skills would be applied to everyday life.

I've still got my Cadette handbook around here someplace -- an excellent resource for such knowledge!

 

[Nashoba]

I learned a fair amount of my ettiquette from my mother. She taught me how to set a table and how to act properly my parents were very adamant about social and ettiquette skills. Something my husband's family doens't completely lack but certainly doesn't understand. Needless to say that caused some problems with my wedding. My mother in law didn't understand some of the things my mother refused to allow for ettiquette reasons.
sigh. It's a dying skill. I cringe at some of the manners I see at some of the formal events that we go to. I think it should be taught in the schools.

 

[Miss Dottie]

There were etiquette classes at my school and my mother was pretty insistent on all of it at home as well. And after college I also wrote an etiquette column. But I always think it just boils down to the golden rule: treat people as you would like to be treated. The rest is just gravy.

A few answers to the original email.

Setting a table: fork on the left along under napkin. Plate in the middle. Knife with blade facing the plate. Spoon on the far right, next to the knife. The more courses--the more silverware--but you basically work you way in.

Getting out of a car: (Boy, I remember, they made us get out of a car 20 times in a row...) Two ways to do it--get as close to the edge as possible. Once the door is open, turn both legs out and step out. Easy to do it you are tall. OR--get as close to the edge as possible and once door is open, put leg closest to door out and use opposite arm to pull yourself out, using door as shield to right your dress. Only face forward when you are ready with smile on!

I hope that helps!

Sidebar: One of the things I remember that amazes people is the rule that you do not answer your telephone when you have company over--you are focusing on your guests at hand and any person coming in is an intruder. Cell phones have completely changed the way we communicate, but I still feel it's rude to answer you phone in the presence of someone else you are talking to.

 

[Tough Cookie]

*snip*
Sidebar: One of the things I remember that amazes people is the rule that you do not answer your telephone when you have company over--you are focusing on your guests at hand and any person coming in is an intruder. Cell phones have completely changed the way we communicate, but I still feel it's rude to answer you phone in the presence of someone else you are talking to.

Quoted for truth. And how many times do we get to deal with this at a business? I'm speaking with a salesperson, and it's considered completely permissible to interupt our conversation every time the phone rings?

My own co-workers do exactly the same to me as well. It's very frustrating. I'm sure they aren't intending to be rude, they just never even consider *not* answering the phone.

 

[Paisley]

What do you know that should be taught to prospective ladies?
How to set a table?
Get into a car?

There are many things a prospective lady needs. She needs get and keep friends, for one thing. Most friends won't tolerate broken engagements or seeing food being masticated. But they'll probably forgive her for plunking the knife, fork and spoon down in a pile by the plate.

The prospective lady will probably also need a job. Her boss and coworkers should expect her to be businesslike during business hours: dressing appropriately, having few personal phone calls, and being pleasant but crisp. The prospective lady, when she hears the office gossips spreading rumors, will be glad she kept her personal life to herself.

Unless the prospective lady has moved to another continent (and maybe even if she has), she'll have to deal with her family. This is tricky. On the one hand, it's tempting to adopt much lower standards with family since they are more forgiving than bosses and acquaintances. On the other hand, since you can't get rid of relatives (who always have such long memories where gaffes are concerned), your record will never be expunged. Unless you can be on your best behavior at all times, I suggest brief visits with no alcohol. Smile and nod a lot.