Older women with younger men and VICE-VERSA!

[John in Covina]

This came up in the Member profile breakdown and it seems to have a number of members buzzing as a "Hot Topic" so I figure I would start it as a stand alone thread.

 

[John in Covina]

There is a myth about a tribe of indians that gives the young women to the old men so they may learn of love and caring, and when the old man dies the now mature woman is given a young man so she may teach him the same love and caring lessons.

Perhaps the origin of the Cougar?

Because young men today don't have to act mature, many woman will seek an older man for the security.

Those who seek to get the younger man, wish to be in control of the relationship.

 

[John in Covina]

In relationships, do we share equally or does one of the couple take the lead?

It was mentioned that a relationship was sought to be hassel free and with out hang ups. Yet at the same time others looked for their partner to lead or be the one that is the protector or the provider or the brains of the outfit.

Can this be both or is it neither. The subtletess of the interplay is often lost on those in the relastionship, which is why Dr Phil and others are needed to get the outside perspective that is not seen from within the relationship.

People may not see control for what it is maybe. For some the definition may only be that some one else is always bossing them around, but it may be more subtle than that. Or it maybe that suggestions have replaced orders and are received by a complacent individual?

The dynamics of a relationship maybe beyond what is expected as normal for sure but how does relationships flow? What is the exchange between two individuals that make for an operational functioning couple?

Does someone have to take the lead? OR can it really simply be 50/50?

 

[Viola]

I usually like older guys. Technically EVERY man I've ever dated has been older than me but I don't think a year exactly counts (though maybe in highschool)

I don't think of it as a control thing. Though I do prefer a more old-fashioned courtship in the sense of I don't like to be the one to do all the asking. Laziness? Possibly!

-Viola

 

[John in Covina]

A year in high school may be a big difference in emotional growth at that time. Girls tend to be move emotionally advanced or mature than guys in High School If I remember correctly.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

I've always liked younger women, and they've always liked me.
I get bored really fast if I have to be the one that "always takes the lead" as you put it, in other words, if I'm the one that has to do all the talking, planning, etc. I like to be met halfway.
Of course it depends entirely upon the two people in question, everybody is different and they all have different expectations, so it's hard to generalize. [huh]
But 50/50 sounds fair to me.

 

[Viola]

A year in high school may be a big difference in emotional growth at that time.

Six years difference at that age once led to me getting grounded. The unfortunate thing is my parents still remember this event like it was yesterday.

-Viola

 

[Pink Dahlia]

My recent ex boyfriend was three years younger than I was. I used to joke about it and he would always say that three years was not that big of a difference. However that made me in my late 20s and him in his early 20s.

He broke up with me to "find" himself which I soon learned consisted of excessive partying and binge drinking.

That's my recent brush with younger men.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

I think that for the most part women are more mature than men by about a ten year gap or so,...most guys never really catch up.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

My recent ex boyfriend was three years younger than I was. I used to joke about it and he would always say that three years was not that big of a difference. However that made me in my late 20s and him in his early 20s.

He broke up with me to "find" himself which I soon learned consisted of excessive partying and binge drinking.

That's my recent brush with younger men.

The maturity gap. Whenever I go to a bar for a drink with friends, I notice that a lot of the younger guys do have a marked tendency to get drunk and act stupid, more so than an older guy in the same place, most of the women their age just aren't into that,...to say the least.

 

[Dixon Cannon]

I only know what Burton Cummings taught me...

Colder women light a fire in me
Bolder women seem to tire of me
Older women put desire in me
But without “em to hold, where would this poor boy be?

Crazy women make a fool of me
Ruthless women seem so cruel to me
And painted women actin' cool with me
But without “em to hold, where would this poor boy be?

I wanna tell you what I know
I ain't sayin' it's a lot,
But I hope it's enough to teach you
To try to hang on to what you got, I wanna say
I'm only sayin' what I mean
And I'm backin' it up, cause I've already been there, son...

I know that colder women light a fire in me,
Bolder women seem to tire of me,
And older women put desire in me,
But without “em to hold, where would this poor man be?​

-dixon cannon

 

[scotrace]

In an issue of Esquire several years ago that was devoted entirely to older men / younger women, there was advice for men in such relationships: Raise your credit card limits; both of you will expect to get something from the relationship, and we all know what you're getting.

 

[Samsa]

The subtletess of the interplay is often lost on those in the relastionship, which is why Dr Phil and others are needed to get the outside perspective that is not seen from within the relationship.

I would not trust Dr. Phil any further than I could throw him, and I have serious doubts as to whether I could even pick him up.

Does someone have to take the lead? OR can it really simply be 50/50?

There are as many different dynamics in a relationship as there are couples. I doubt that one can safely make generalizations about ALL relationships; sometimes 50/50 doesn't work, sometimes it does.

As to the age differential, I'm 24 and my girlfriend is 27. Before I came along, she had only dated older men. From what I can discern, I am more mature than any of them.

 

[Viola]

I would not trust Dr. Phil any further than I could throw him, and I have serious doubts as to whether I could even pick him up.

lol :eusa_clap lol

Dr. Phil is creepy.

-Viola

 

[Pink Dahlia]

The maturity gap. Whenever I go to a bar for a drink with friends, I notice that a lot of the younger guys do have a marked tendency to get drunk and act stupid, more so than an older guy in the same place, most of the women their age just aren't into that,...to say the least.

That's why I said (in the other thread) I'd like to try my hand at older blokes.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

lol :eusa_clap lol

Dr. Phil is creepy.

-Viola

Yeah. Dr. Phil wants our money. How did he ever get to be America's Guru anyway?

 

[Miss Neecerie]

Yeah. Dr. Phil wants our money. How did he ever get to be America's Guru anyway?

Blame for that rests on Oprah's shoulders.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

Yep,...I gotta get on Oprah's show. Dr. Danger.

 

[CharlieH.]

I don't care much about a gal's age as long as she's mature and doesn't have the mentality of a screwy schoolgirl... unfortunately the latter is all I have close. Heck, even if I do meet a girl that fits the bill, chances are we won't click, but that's another tirade.

(Well, actually I would mind if she's younger, but that's for completely unrelated reasons)

 

[MrNewportCustom]

My last three girlfriends: Nine years older, sixteen years younger, four years younger. The last one would start arguments over nothing.


Lee
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I'm undecided.