Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Old vs New

Lauren Henline said:
I WANT to learn the things women have forgotten- how to garden, cook, clean, sew- teach children, instill values, go to church- love my husband. Women are free to choose- but it seems more often than not we're looked down on by our fellow sisters for choosing the things that I want!

That is just a shame! There is nothing wrong with being a homemaker. They are worth more to the family and this country as a whole than any lousy 8-5 job could be. Entrusting the next generation to them would be by far the best decision for the children. Women look down on others for this?! They are nuts but then their kids are likely the ones that are involved in all the things we try to keep our children away from. Like I would want my child raised by someone who has no inkling of what I want the child to know and value. :rolleyes:
Get the women who look down on you mad. Ask them who pays the bills and budgets the money in their house. If its not them then they have lost ground. ;) :p

Regards to all,

J
 

Mycroft

One Too Many
Messages
1,993
Location
Florida, U.S.A. for now
I am raised in a household that values the past and its artifacts. My father was a big antique collector and now goes with me, because my mom is not as big fan of antiques, though some she likes. My dad also makes wooden boxes from scratch out of exotic hardwoods and such, and I see the work he puts in and it is totally different then a store bought one or factory made one. People used too and some still put themseves into their work, as if it was part of them that they were selling or producing. I feel also that service and kindness has been lost in trasition from the Golden Era, I mean it is still out there, but it is not a standed like it used to be. I guess you could call me an "Eclecticist," one who loves the past, yet embraces the technolgy today for its goodness like saving lives, cleaning the Earth, keeping the peaces, etc.
 

Lena_Horne

One of the Regulars
Messages
249
Location
The Arsenal of Democracy
Lauren Henline said:
DanielJones, you have voiced everything perfectly. I am a history buff myself, so I do exactly the same thing whenever I get something old or walk into an old place- and unlike the "collectors" who want everything perfect I find the marks on books, magazines, patterns, etc a mark of love. I love finding clippings stuck in old dress patterns, reciepts with fabric, flowers pressed into pages of old books, names scribbled on magazines. These show the items existed but were loved. There is a difference, of course, when things have been stored improperly- but when the imperfections are marks of love it's all the more endearing.

JamesPowers also touches on something- as a woman we lost much of our ability to make the choice to stay at home with the family when we fought so hard for our "equal rights". I would rather be cherished, have seats given up for me, doors opened for me, arms offered to me- in return for loving and caring for children, home and husband- rather than fight the grueling fight of 8-5 and put my someday children into the daycare. I WANT to learn the things women have forgotten- how to garden, cook, clean, sew- teach children, instill values, go to church- love my husband. Women are free to choose- but it seems more often than not we're looked down on by our fellow sisters for choosing the things that I want!

Of course a large part of this is my old fashioned nature- but much more of it is my belief system- which is unfortunately unshared by many women of the same faith.

Oh my gosh that's so perfectly how I feel. That's the second time that's happened tonight. Especially with your sentiments about family life. If a woman actually wants to stay home she's ungrateful for everything that the feminists of the late sixties and seventies fought for. But in greating "choices" they pretty much obliterated the choice of doing exactly what women have done for millions of years. What if I don't want to breastfeed in public just because I can? Or what if I actually want to support my husband in his capacity as the head of our household instead of trying to be just as manly as he is? Just to prove some kind of contrived point. I'm still trying to figure out why some of these women even get married when all they are going to do is dominate and/or rob him of his dignity for an invisible judge no less...

I'm pretty old-fashioned I'll admit, my mother even teases--albeit gently--me for wearing my pants around my waist (instead of on my hips as it was pointed out in another thread) and says that I look like an old man. I'm half tempted to ask her if she knows where her waist is but I wouldn't dare.

But back to the topic at hand. I really do sit back and fantasize--a lot--about my future home and husband, the children and gently leading them through their lives. Actually cooking at a stove at night. Preparing three meals a day (I would like my family to be able to say that we've never eaten "fast food" together) and gardening. Hanging clothing on a line, and mending my children's play clothing when they are torn or too short/long. But a lot of these things have been cut out of the curriculum of schools in favor of teaching everyone to use the computer. We don't even learn handwriting properly anymore (just enough to read and write legible cursive). I look at my great-aunt's, grandmother's and even my mother's handwriting and I look at my own and it's as if someone suddenly switched off the light. Neat chickenscratch as it were. I suppose this is because they believe that everyone will be using computers all of the time and no one will need longhand, but really how reliable is that method? And thus fonts have been created to mimic what the hand does naturally.

I think when the roles in a marriage, and it helps if they are agreed upon instead of enforced, are defined then both halves work well together and it creates less conflict. If I had my way I would marry the fella I know that supports my decisions about life and would gladly go along, and as it seems have the money to do so as well. But hey we don't always get what we want, so who knows, what if I fall for a guy that doesn't get my line of thinking?.. I think that I could convince him, however not everyone.

L_H
 

Lena_Horne

One of the Regulars
Messages
249
Location
The Arsenal of Democracy
Mycroft said:
I am raised in a household that values the past and its artifacts. My father was a big antique collector and now goes with me, because my mom is not as big fan of antiques, though some she likes. My dad also makes wooden boxes from scratch out of exotic hardwoods and such, and I see the work he puts in and it is totally different then a store bought one or factory made one. People used too and some still put themseves into their work, as if it was part of them that they were selling or producing. I feel also that service and kindness has been lost in trasition from the Golden Era, I mean it is still out there, but it is not a standed like it used to be. I guess you could call me an "Eclecticist," one who loves the past, yet embraces the technolgy today for its goodness like saving lives, cleaning the Earth, keeping the peaces, etc.

That reminds me of that very funny commercial asking "What ever happened to customer service?" I always get a good laugh when it's on.

L_H
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
Messages
5,060
Location
Sunny California
Very well said, Miss Horne. I share your sentiments exactly! As strange as it seems to most modern women (and sometimes men), my dream for my life is to be a good wife and mom.

And hanging clothes on a line is VERY theraputic. I'm not sure I'd do it all the time, but it definately is relaxing.
 

DanielJones

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,042
Location
On the move again...
Ladies & Gentlemen, I think that we have hit on a very common belief amongst us. The old ways of the working man and the woman as the housmaker (and the true head of the household) has gone the way of the dodo because of womens lib. My girlfriend believes that it was this movement that, yes, may have brought equality in the workplace, but destroyed the "home" and brought everyones wages down. Men make less than their past counterparts comparativly, thus both folks in the household have to work to support the family. If I sound like a male egotist I'm sorry, but the so called empowered women of the 60's & 70's have ruined it for 'everyone'. Granted, yes, there were women in the workforce back in the day, but they were usually single and not mothers or homemakers. And yes there were kids in the workforce to a degree (my Pop worked as a chicken plucker at the age of 10) to help support the family in desperate times.
I agree with what all of you have said thus far, and I appreciate your similar mindsets on the past and present. I think the one thing lacking in families of today is the dicipline. Like James had said, the community of the past was connected. Now some may say that cities of today are too large to be tight nit. Well the city doesn't have to be tight nit, but the neighborhood should be. Little pockets of community within a large community. We all take care of one another. And unfortunately, todays society it's selfish, and self centered. In a word, disposable. Everyone, and everything is disposable. If it doesn't work out, get a new one. Be it a car or relationship. And that is a big shame.
Anyway, enough of my soap box. Y'all have very valid and respected points. Thank you for sharing.

Cheers!

Dan
 
Both Lena and Lauren---along with my wife, actually make me think that we really are not going to lose the family as a tight bond. I think the most important thing in the life of a child is a mother and father being there for them. Foisting them on babysitters and the like constantly is not quite taking up the responsibility of parenting.
As a man, my work does not define me nor does anything I own. It is my realtionships I have with my friends and family. My wife being the most important because it sets the tone and example for children. When everything I have is gone and me as well what remains will be what I have said and done that is important to those that remiain behind to carry on. Perhaps it is something they will pass on and a little bit of me along with it. Such is the importance of motherhood as well.
Vintage is not necessarily only "things" it is a state of mind. That which has passed down to us from our grandparent and parents that makes us who we are. Perhaps it was my grandmother on my mother's side that influenced me the most and really got me into vintage. It was not only material things it was a mentality that was wise. Here was a woman that did not get beyond eighth grade but it was a perochial school that gave her enough to be up on the issues of the day and able to express herself well in oral or written fashion. All before the 60s. I would say she held more sway over my grandfather than my wife has over me. ;) Her abilites as a businesswoman/rancher at my grandfather's side served him well and when he later became a welder and ironworker she held the home together and he didn't have to worry about a thing but making a living. I suppose it was an interesting time for someone born in 1902 with a husband born in 1893. :cheers1:

Regards to all,

J
 

Wild Root

Gone Home
Messages
5,532
Location
Monrovia California.
I wish there were more people like you all! The world would be a way better place!

I have an experience I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢d like to share. I was at a restaurant late one night after a dance. Conversation was getting hot and heavy about family life and about relationships.

This one guy I know just said ?¢‚Ǩ?ìF- - -?¢‚Ǩ? families and what they stand for. I stood up and told him to take that back before I beat him with in an inch of his pathetic life! I told him that HE and his beliefs are what?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s wrong with America. Every one tried to get me to sit, so I sat down but, I gave that young man such a look that told him that I meant business. How dare he insult the very institution that brought me into this world and the same for him!

Trust me, some of you may already know but, when people are acting stupid and disrespectful, I become very 1940?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s in manor even if it?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s not ?¢‚Ǩ?ìPC?¢‚Ǩ?. I could care less about being PC, I care about what?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s right and wrong. It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s ether black or white.

My family has taught me what?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s right and what?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s wrong and not enough of that is being done today.

When I get to the point to raise a family, my wife will be the main focus and as kids come into the picture, they?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll receive love and discipline in a firm but loving manor.

I have a very old fashioned mind set and I guess I reflect the era I portray with my clothes and the car that I drive.

=WR=

PS. One thing about cars of the 20?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s-50?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s. Were there any recalled like so many are today? NO!
 

Section10

One of the Regulars
What Dan J said about neighborhoods is correct, but people don't know their neighbors today because they don't need to. Years ago if you wanted to have a social life you looked to your neighbors because there wasn't anybody else. If a friend or family member moved 50 miles away they moved right out of your life. Today 50 miles is nothing. You can drive 50 miles to visit in an evening after work and still be home at a decent time. You can get into your car and go to wherever your social needs are met and never have to speak to your neighbors or you can jump onto the internet and have all kinds of close relationships with people you like that you will never meet in person. Years ago your neighbors were a big part of your life. You went to church with them, you worked with them, you played with them, you intermarried with them and if your house burned down one of them took you in. As long as conditions remain as they are, that environment will never return.
 

Michaelson

One Too Many
Messages
1,840
Location
Tennessee
Another thing being gradually lost in the 'old vs. new' are the craftsmen who can KEEP the old things going. My particular interests fall to watches...and finding a craftsman who can keep a good solid timepiece working in proper condition is not that easy these days. I only found what I needed by becoming a member of the NAWCC, but for those who only like to wear or carry them, it takes some effort to find someone who can do the job properly. This is also reflected in just about all aspects of our interest.

So, support the craftsmen you know, or find. Without them, we'll see those items we use and love disappear into oblivion.

Regards! Michaelson
 

Mycroft

One Too Many
Messages
1,993
Location
Florida, U.S.A. for now
Michaelson said:
Another thing being gradually lost in the 'old vs. new' are the craftsmen who can KEEP the old things going. My particular interests fall to watches...and finding a craftsman who can keep a good solid timepiece working in proper condition is not that easy these days. I only found what I needed by becoming a member of the NAWCC, but for those who only like to wear or carry them, it takes some effort to find someone who can do the job properly. This is also reflected in just about all aspects of our interest.

So, support the craftsmen you know, or find. Without them, we'll see those items we use and love disappear into oblivion.

Regards! Michaelson

I am with you, I think everyone should try to support the local Mom and Pop places, craftsman, and non-big box buissness. They built America.
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
Messages
5,060
Location
Sunny California
Yes, very good point. The smaller institutions are the more charming- and the ones I would rather see in my neighborhood. We have no more independant bookshops in my area other than ones for used books. It makes me sad.
 
Michaelson said:
...and finding a craftsman who can keep a good solid timepiece working in proper condition is not that easy these days. I only found what I needed by becoming a member of the NAWCC, but for those who only like to wear or carry them, it takes some effort to find someone who can do the job properly. This is also reflected in just about all aspects of our interest.
So, support the craftsmen you know, or find. Without them, we'll see those items we use and love disappear into oblivion.

Your experience mirrors mine. Finding people to work on your watches or even people to work on your vintage car are dificult to find. Some just do not have the skill necessary and then there are others honest enough to tell you they don't. Finding someone honest and having the knowledge is pretty tough.

Regards to all,

J
 

Wild Root

Gone Home
Messages
5,532
Location
Monrovia California.
No body knows their neighbors? Gee whiz, people! I talk to two of my neighbors and we always talk about the news or hobbies. One of my neighbors is a WWII Submarine vet. He?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s a great old guy!

I feel that in most cases, people don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t know who they live by because of the fact they may be bad people and not every neighborhood is ideal for socializing. There are plenty neighborhoods that are tightly knit in other parts of the country! Utah, Idaho, parts of the Midwest, most parts of the South, and parts of Canada all posses some great tightly knit neighborhoods. The bigger the city, the more clam like people become. The smaller the city, the more people know each other.

I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢m sure that some of the people we live next to are thinking the same thing about us. We just need to be the strong ones and break the ice! Having worked in a very popular restaurant I met some great people that lived right in my own home town! There are swell eggs all over the world; we just need to find them. And trust me, I meet and have met some great people thus far. Your all included on that list!

=WR=
 
I know my neighbors pretty well too. This may be in part because I talk to people. I also do a small neighborly thing once in a while like pull their trash cans in and I have even cut a neighbor's lawn while they were away for a month. They didn't ask I just got tired of seeing it grow too high. :p I was done with mine and it didn't take too much to go across the street and do the same thing.
It might also have a bit to do with the fact that I live in the city I was born in. In fact, my family has been here for about 125 years. You are bound to know people by then. ;) It does take some effort though. When the new neighbor moved in across the street from my mother's house, I went over and told her a few things about the neighborhood, when the garbage is picked up and stuff like that. In a heavy wind one of her street trees lost a decent sized limb that was laying in the gutter. I called the city and had them remove it before she got home. She was prepared to cut it up and get rid of it when she got home but it was long gone. ;)
Ushering in new neighbors pays dividends---believe me.

Regards to all,

J
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
Messages
5,060
Location
Sunny California
And then there's my neighborhood which is full of retirees that would rather think I'm wild and evil simply because I'm young- we get nasty notes all the time- our garbage cans thrown on our lawn (the SAME DAY it was picked up before we get home from work)- notes left on our cars telling us we're stupid for parking on the street...

But the neighbor across the street is really cool. He's fixing up a hot rod. And the guy down the street likes to tell me how his sweet little dogs are really killers :)
 

Miss Neecerie

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,616
Location
The land of Sinatra, Hoboken
Wild Root said:
No body knows their neighbors? Gee whiz, people! I talk to two of my neighbors and we always talk about the news or hobbies. One of my neighbors is a WWII Submarine vet. He?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s a great old guy!



=WR=


You live in Monrovia...which is different...honestly it just -is- different...then quite a lot of places in LA, especially.
 

Section10

One of the Regulars
I suppose I am what might be called a new neighbor having lived in this house on the edge of town since a year ago last July. Before that my wife & I lived for many years on a backwoods farm so far out in the boonies the Jehovah Witnesses couldn't even find us. It's not a highly populated area, but there are still some people nearby. Since living here we have had one neighbor make a genuine effort to socialize with us (an 89 year old man). I speak to another neighbor and he's pleasant, but I have no real relationships with them. Perhaps it's partly my fault. My wife & I have lived somewhat isolated for so long....... I can't even remember the last time I watched television and a computer is a very new thing for us.
 
Michaelson said:
Another thing being gradually lost in the 'old vs. new' are the craftsmen who can KEEP the old things going. My particular interests fall to watches...and finding a craftsman who can keep a good solid timepiece working in proper condition is not that easy these days. I only found what I needed by becoming a member of the NAWCC, but for those who only like to wear or carry them, it takes some effort to find someone who can do the job properly. This is also reflected in just about all aspects of our interest.

So, support the craftsmen you know, or find. Without them, we'll see those items we use and love disappear into oblivion.

Regards! Michaelson

Absolutely! My dad is a watchmaker (Tag Heuer trained) and he reckons that there are absolutely no up and coming watchmakers to take his place when he retires. He currently services all the clocks and watches in the large country estates around where he lives in the scottish borders.

But then again, you can see why noone wants to take that trade as their career. 90% of my dad's time is spent replacing batteries in cheap digital watches. He does the country estate stuff without pay on his afternoon off work just to keep his skills up to scratch. A 150-200 year old clock or pocket watch takes a bit more of his skills than a casio
:p

bk
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,295
Messages
3,078,191
Members
54,244
Latest member
seeldoger47
Top