Nutty Neighbors

[Elaina]

Well, our next door neighbors want to fight over the yard space, we don't care, and pretty much don't USE the yard, but their kids want to pick and tease mine for going into their yard, but then want to play in ours, and the guy that's never home waits until my husband is gone or it's 11 P.M. to try and intimidate us over 5 feet of space (which the last time, I met him with a loaded rifle to his face, it was too late and I was too alone for that BS) and then there's 15 people living there, and they all want to park in front of my driveway...I wound up telling them in Spanish (because none of them speak English that park over here, and I'm fluent in it, much to their surprise) if they park here again, the tires would be shredded. Luckily I haven't had problems since then, except one of the men keeps trying to steal my cat. The lady across the street is one of those really nice, and nosy ones that tell you everything that's wrong with her life but keeps an eye on you. I have a lady up the street that is nuts (she talks to herself, and we thought it was just pregnancy, but she's gotten worse since he was born) and we have the one couple that fights and get really loud at 2 A.M. when I'm trying to work and/or sleep. Then we have the families on each street that watch everyone's kids (my area is like a # sign), and there's 6 of us that take turns taking care of the kids: two take turns buying the kids ice cream from the truck, one gives them juice, I do the cookies/snacks (often ALL day long) and first aid (because I have cartoon character bandaids, and I don't sting them when they hurt), one does lunch, and one of the husband's works for Dr Pepper and gives them an afternoon soda, so it works. Funny thing is, none of us has ever met the other parents that do this (we've all talked on the phone for permissions for one thing or another), but we all know what kid belongs where and what time they have to check in.

 

[jamespowers]

Well, our next door neighbors want to fight over the yard space, we don't care, and pretty much don't USE the yard, but their kids want to pick and tease mine for going into their yard, but then want to play in ours, and the guy that's never home waits until my husband is gone or it's 11 P.M. to try and intimidate us over 5 feet of space (which the last time, I met him with a loaded rifle to his face, it was too late and I was too alone for that BS) and then there's 15 people living there, and they all want to park in front of my driveway...I wound up telling them in Spanish (because none of them speak English that park over here, and I'm fluent in it, much to their surprise) if they park here again, the tires would be shredded. Luckily I haven't had problems since then, except one of the men keeps trying to steal my cat.

Sounds like its time for a fence between you and your neighbor. :eusa_doh:
There are also laws in some places about maximum occupancy in houses. 15 seems a little excessive if the house has less than five bedrooms. That stuff doesn't go on here due to the occupancy law. Check out your local city hall etc and see if you have the same thing. No gun needed.

Regards,

J

 

[Elaina]

We have an immigration status law which says that if they're not legal aliens then they can't do anything, and complaining to the INS won't likely lead to an investigation due to understaffing and overwork (why do I know this? Nosy lady across the street has tried to complain).

We put up a decorative border type fence picketthing, but they ran it over last drunken yard party they had, and we're waiting on them to pay for the damages (it happened this weekend, and no one gets paid until Friday. So in the meantime, I don't let the kids onto my flower beds/garden and I'm tempted into making one along the line of property and seeing if I can get some of the nails from the construction company across the street and "planting" them along with the flowers, so if they run over my yard again they'll have a nice suprise.

Wow, I'm nice aren't I?

 

[jamespowers]

All of this also reminds me of a "training" incident that my mother had with a new neighbor. The guy moved in and I guess thought that the lawn would magically be manicured by wild goats or some such thing. Well, it finally got to the magic 18" level. At that point community standards comes out and tells you to cut the lawn. That was an interesting day watching the guy try to cut the lawn with an ancient 70s lawnmower with no power. The thing started to smoke, then ran slower and finally the miniature mushroom cloud signalled its death. Boom! The look on the guy's face was classic. lol lol
My mother was less than pleased. She remarked: now it will never get cut!:eusa_doh:
A brand new lawnmower showed up a few days later. The city gave him two weeks to get it cut or they would come out and cut it for him---and bill him. The new lawnmower was cheaper I guess. To this day, the lawn has always been cut and manicured just fine. Lesson learned.

Regards,

J

 

[jamespowers]

We have an immigration status law which says that if they're not legal aliens then they can't do anything, and complaining to the INS won't likely lead to an investigation due to understaffing and overwork (why do I know this? Nosy lady across the street has tried to complain).

We put up a decorative border type fence picketthing, but they ran it over last drunken yard party they had, and we're waiting on them to pay for the damages (it happened this weekend, and no one gets paid until Friday. So in the meantime, I don't let the kids onto my flower beds/garden and I'm tempted into making one along the line of property and seeing if I can get some of the nails from the construction company across the street and "planting" them along with the flowers, so if they run over my yard again they'll have a nice suprise.

Wow, I'm nice aren't I?

Realisitically, you have to be the neighbor from Hell sometimes. I would plant a particularly nasty rose there along the border if it was me. Research shows that Rosa Roxburghii (the single Chesnut rose) makes a fine border plant. Anyone stupid enough to come near it will be met with huge thorns all over the plant. Even the flowers have thorns!

Keep the children away from this one.
The nails will likely make it worse since they are drunk int he first place. The car would probably still be there in the morning.:eusa_doh:

Regards,

J

 

[Elaina]

Well, I haven't removed the poison ivy from the back and side by the tree, and I've been training it to go up a trellis, and the city won't interfere (part of the beautification process, I have decorative sign that says "Warning: Poison Ivy" planted with the little wire fence and it looks good, even if most of the people is allergic, AND I prune it to my yard only)...yeah, I agree you have to be the neighbor from hell. Sounds like we fight alot, but we go through periods, usually once a month and ofte only when they throw parties.

As to the rose, I would, but I'm a klutz and I'd be as likely to fall in it as they are, and the kids run too much for that to be viable, just like razor wire and anything else I can think of. And then again, even if I did plant the rose, chances are it would be ran over and killed. Because I haven't made a huge fuss about the fence other then "Hey, you guys are going to buy and install a new one Saturday, RIGHT?" I think they're more relieved then anything else, because I could have made a big deal out of it and hurt the painting company the owner of the house owns (really, bad publicity of any kind isn't good).

Oddly, the only woman over there and I drink coffee together in the mornings and talk in a mixture of languages, and get along fine. It's when the men-dolk try to intimidate me when things get a little out of hand, or she's gone home to visit family it escalates. When she leaves, I know we're going to get into it.

 

[Diamondback]

Y'know, there are any number of dark tomes that can help with upping the ante if the recorded cries don't work. BTW, Daisy, you don't wanna plant recordings in their pad, that's potentially trespass at best and B&E at worst--and nobody here wants any of the others moving into a condo at Graybar Suites... (Right? RIGHT?)

For some reason, the title Techniques of Harassment springs to mind, as does anything by George Hayduke. Purely for entertainment purposes only, of course--sometimes it's just satisfying enough to know what you could do to the jerks in your life if you so chose, maybe favor them with a smirk and a chuckle when they're doing something just to make them wonder a little...lol

And it would be prudent not to have such literature anywhere that it might be seen by visitors, especially "official" ones.

 

[Elaina]

Well, I found what was going to work for me. Not only do they not want to talk to me, but they're staying 20 feet from my yard.

I put out a voodoo doll.

 

[Dr Doran]

Well, I found what was going to work for me. Not only do they not want to talk to me, but they're staying 20 feet from my yard.

I put out a voodoo doll.

Good job. I have a blue glass Turkish Eye that averts the evil eye on my front door. This sort of thing is called an apotropaion, a "turner-away" and they seem to work, especially amongst the religious OR superstitious. Even cold rationalists sometimes think twice. One of my professors has a huge cow skull in the entrance of her house. This is a tradition in many cultures: an apotropaion in the entryway to scare away the people who don't belong there. (The people who DO belong there will not be scared as they know you.)
I am more and more realizing that I need a couple of acres of space. I'll build low stone walls from the stones lying around. They will function as markers more than anything else. And either bamboo or something else as a screen. There does not seem any other way to do it.

 

[Elaina]

Well, I can see the doll from my window, and I've been watching a couple of the men try to figure ut how to get it down without touching it (I have a gloriously creepy one hanging, and in this weather, it's just dancing away wildly in the wind). What they don't know is once they go to bed, I have 6 more sitting around the house that is going to suddenly "grow" up all over the yard. I will say, I haven't had beer bottles in my yard tonight so far.

I find this funny. I came home this afternoon to not only my driveway being parked in (in the rain no less) but 4 cars on my yard. We had to call the police to get them to move (after parking at a friend's house because we had no where to park) and I got fed up. Nothing else worked, and shortly after the police left another car was back on the lawn. I know the dolls creep people out (even if they know me, most don't realize I have as many around as I do. I have yet to see someone not a little creeped out realizing that there is a face in the flowers on the table, that bunch of feathers in my sewing junk has eyes, or that what they think is a Jack Skellington figurine just isn't.) I tuck them everywhere (and before you ask WHY I have so many, I can't tell you. I think they multiply) and after my husband found what I dubbed "Molly" lying in a drawer, and yelped, I figured why not.

 

[Dr Doran]

Elaina, can you show us some of these hideous dolls?
I have seen a few apotropaic dolls in my life.

1. A weird little doll made solely of black cloth, no details, from Sri Lanka. Its featurelessness was disconcerting. Malheuruesement, I lost it. I did wear it strapped to my forehead one halloween. It freaked people out.

2. The stick figures in The Blair Witch Project. Wake up with a few of those hanging around and you might just hang yourself.

3. In San Francisco there is an entire phenomenon amongst the young hip artist kids which has by now become a cliche: BABY DOLL HEAD ART. They take the heads and sometimes nude bodies of baby dolls and do silly stuff with them, put them in odd poses, use black marker to mark tribal designs on them, put them into tableaux or dioramas, etc. Silly but if you are not inured to it, it can be frightening.

4. Whilst a lad my brother and I (the one with whom I am presently estranged due to a punchup on the day of our sister's funeral) had those 2 inch high green plastic army men and used to take a soldering iron to them and add legs, arms, etc, plus melt their faces and such. We got sore throats after doing this from the plastic fumes; the point is, we made sickening mutant army dolls that could serve as an omen to the superstitious or easily disturbed.

So, please, Elaina, show us a doll or two.

 

[Adelaidey]

The girl next door:

~ Sets her alarm for all hours of the day and night... and then leaves the room, leaving it to blare for hours on end... most often at 2am.

~ Guffaws like some demented Valley Girl at a ridiculously high volume-- punctuated by the cackle of "OH MOI GAAWD!"

~ Plays guitar at 4 am... badly....

Why me?

 

[Dan G]

The girl next door:

~ Sets her alarm for all hours of the day and night... and then leaves the room, leaving it to blare for hours on end... most often at 2am.

~ Guffaws like some demented Valley Girl at a ridiculously high volume-- punctuated by the cackle of "OH MOI GAAWD!"

~ Plays guitar at 4 am... badly....

Why me?

I've got a guitar and amp so loud you can hear it a quarter mile away clearly. Need guitar lessons?lol

 

[Dr Doran]

My poor dear Adelaidey. That is awful. The guitar at 4 would bite even if she were Django Reinhart. (No, it wouldn't, if it were soft, but I suspect she is electronically amplified.) The abandoned alarm thing is one of the worst aspects of human urban existence and must be stamped out. I got a (transsexual) neighbor living below me in SF evicted for such alarm shenanigans. Here is what to do: find the circuit breaker for her apartment and shut it off. I bet it's in the garbage area.
Daisy, did you inform the father of the fratboy in your condo? This seems sound to me, after some reflection.
I generally don't think it's wrong to tell the authorities if someone is committing repeated offenses and you have told them these things bother you.

 

[Elaina]

I still don't have a camera, but other then some small differences (or none) [huh]

Sits on a shelf over my door, sans tag for the last 10 years, but it's pretty large (over a foot tall)

Madam Bridgit, sits on my thread shelf, and managed to be behind all the thread, looking out the window.

Yemaya, Motherhood doll, was given to me when I had my son, is in my bathroom, standing on a frame in the middle of some pictures hanging up (it's not too ntoiceable, surprisingly. Took my mom 3 days to realize I had her there.)

Miss Scarlett is the one in a vase of bright red tulips. I recieved this as a wedding present a couple years ago, and never knew what to do with her, but she matches the flowers.

These are the big ones, I have several that look like the Blair witch ones, the really creepy one is a skeleton who appears to be bleeding (which is the one outside, it just looks cool), a kitchen one, one I have in my bedroom because I was stopped about a month ago and told I needed it, and I have one on the shelf where I keep my cookbooks. My great grandma was into it, and so some of them are ones I've gotten over the years from her collection (granted I had no idea what they were when I got them), quite a few were given to me by HER best friend, and some come home when I go to New Orleans. I have about 5 I can't account for where I got them. I never said they were hideous, just they are not to everyone's liking, and they creep OTHER people out. To be honest, I've had at least one since I was 8, and they're like friends to me (which sounds weird, but I like them. They have perosnality, and my house feels empty when I have to pack them up to move.)

I've pointed out I was superstitious before, this is pretty tame on the whole for some of the things I have hanging about. It's far easier to explain these then the Elvis bust I have.

 

[TommySalieri]

Heyyy! It's "Celso"!

 

[Roger]

The other side is one I figured would be a problem. As long as my grandmother lived here, I told her that those neighbors were in for a rude awakening if I lived here. Well, that came to pass a few years ago now. They have trees and bushes planted right next to MY fence so their crap keeps growing over all the time. Well, me and the friendly chainsaw took care of that---much to their protestation but too bad. I mean I might have accidentally sprayed some weed killer on some of their plants when spraying my yard but....
To make a long story short, they don't protest anymore when their plants get shaved. I just whacked down a huge chunk of a tree that was hanging on my side so I could replace a few sections of fencing between us. No arguments but they watched every branch I cut fall. There had been too lax attention paid to the property line and the new fence will make sure it doesn't happen again there.

I hope you disposed of the debris yourself.

People are nuts nowadays. There one was a time when neighbors actually tried to make their yards and accoutrements blend with each other. Those times are long gone and it causes problems. It doesn't hurt to try to fit in a bit when you move into a new neighborhood but these people come in, disrupt the whole coherence of an area and place something that doesn't fit in right next to what took decades to develop. :rage:

Why should people conform their yards to yours? Perhaps yours is the one that needs attention.


Daisy, seems you've got a big problem on your hands. Perhaps hanging them upside down by their feet would help.lol lol Elaina; call in a witch doctor.

 

[Twitch]

There seems to be a growing mindset of telling others how to live. People want to see their neighborhoods in certain ways that don't always go along with what others conceive. Home owners associations along with the municipal safety nazis are famous for regulating what your property should look like and what activities you engage in while on you property.

It's not just big cities but smaller townships that are enacting these draconian rules. I know people around the country that live under fear of these rulemeisters and their nitpicky concepts.

You can't work on an auto in your driveway. You can't have your garage door open except for ingress/egress. You can't plant a bush in your front yard withjout approval. You can't place a decorative rock there. You can't change the sprinkler timing/duration. If it can been seen over your backyard fence it may be in violation. No outdoor barbequing. You can't have your RV or 5th wheel trailer visible from the street. Tradesmen can't park a vehicle with a trailer on the street. You can't have a satellite dish on your roof and can only subscribe to the cable the associatons supply.

We're not talking about pack-rat houses here just minor infractions deemed so by people with too much time on their hands and the unending lust to "keep the property values up."

The country is fast becoming a group of stalags complete with their own Colonel Klinks.

 

[jamespowers]

I hope you disposed of the debris yourself.



Why should people conform their yards to yours? Perhaps yours is the one that needs attention.

The yard waste comsumed three garbage cans.
They don't have to conform their yards, it would just be nice if the lawn wasn't 18 inches tall and bushes weren't growing all over the place. :rage: Neat would be nice. :eusa_doh:

 

[Daisy Buchanan]

My poor dear Adelaidey. That is awful. The guitar at 4 would bite even if she were Django Reinhart. (No, it wouldn't, if it were soft, but I suspect she is electronically amplified.) The abandoned alarm thing is one of the worst aspects of human urban existence and must be stamped out. I got a (transsexual) neighbor living below me in SF evicted for such alarm shenanigans. Here is what to do: find the circuit breaker for her apartment and shut it off. I bet it's in the garbage area.
Daisy, did you inform the father of the fratboy in your condo? This seems sound to me, after some reflection.
I generally don't think it's wrong to tell the authorities if someone is committing repeated offenses and you have told them these things bother you.

I haven't called him yet. So far he has yet to disturb me. My condo is like a stand alone part of the building. It's basically a 2 story box stuck on top of the top floor. I don't share walls with anybody, just the elevator shaft which is behind the wall of the second bedroom. The only time I'm really bothered is because my bedroom, where one of the doors to the roof deck is, has a hallway behind it. It's a service hallway, it is locked at all times and nobody except maintenance crews are allowed to use it. After I put up some signs in that hallway telling people to remember to lock the door behind them and not to slam the door, and after shouting at a few work crews for making way too much noise, right outside my bedroom at 6AM, all the work crews have started to use the other hallway that can get them to the roof. The only problem I have is that at the bottom of the staircase in the hall behind my bedroom are the elevators. The hallway acts as an echo chamber so if people are talking above a normal decibel I can hear everything. I've heard some pretty interesting things over the past few years!! The young kids who have the parties tend to spill out into the hall in the wee hours of the morning and instead of saying their goodbyes inside or at the door they shout to each other from the elevator into their apartment. If I yell loud enough they can hear me from my bedroom, so for a few weekends in a row I was spouting obscenities and other nasty things to them. They finally stopped this.
Other than that they have yet to bother me. I feel badly for my neighbors with the baby, and even though they have been calling the police on a regular basis and they have been fined numerous times by the management company, the next weekend it happens all over again. I think I will give the Dads phone number to Harlan the neighbor with the baby. Since they are the ones most affected they should be the one to make the call.
Also, my building is like a horse shoe. The majority of the apartments, except for those on my side of the building, all face one another and overlook a large patio and glass enclosed swimming pool on the third floor. If I lived in one of these units I would keep my blind drawn. It's much too easy to see into one another's condo. But horseshoe type shape causes a lot of echoing, so if someone has their windows and sliding glass doors open, and is playing music, the rest of the complex can hear it. These guys will blast their music at all hours with the windows open, disturbing everyone. Even though they have been fined they don't care.
Once they start having their "ragers" on the roof deck I'm not gonna put up with any shenanigans. They are loud and rowdy, and I'm concerned people will get out of control. An even bigger concern is the fact that even though it wouldn't be my party I am responsible for anything that happens up there, for it is my property too. I'm so worried that these guys are gonna be serving alcohol to minors, or that a fight will break out and someone will get hurt, and I will be at fault because it is my property. As soon as these "ragers" start, if I find them the least bit disturbing, I will call this kids dad.

Another frustrating thing about having a roof deck is that almost everyone in the building at one point or another has tried to use it. I'll be sleeping and hear some drunk guys trying to get the code to the door that leads to the hallway to the deck, the one outside my master bedroom. I'll be sound asleep and they will be pulling and knocking. I have to drag myself out of bed and go down the hallway to explain that it is a private deck, hence the lock on the door to it. They usually get belligerent and angry and say that there's no such thing as a private deck. I tell them that if they go up there I will call the cops and have them arrested for B&E and trespassing.
Then there are the jerky realtors who are trying to sell a condo in the building. About 2 times a month I hear someone coming up the hall behind my bedroom usually saying something like "wait until you see this incredible deck with the amazing view of the city". I give them a minute or two to take it all in, then I go outside and act all surprised to see them. I say "Excuse me can I help you with something?" They explain that they are interested in buying a unit in the building. I ask which unit and then I say ever so politely "Oh there must be some confusion but the public roofdeck is on the 3rd floor". They usually get mad and the realtor will usually say that I'm lying and that the top floor deck is a public place too. I then offer to bring out a copy of the rules and regulations to show them that the deck is indeed private. I don't get why these people insist on arguing with me. If they don't leave I say I will call the police. I also explain to the potential buyers that this is a private deck, if they don't follow the rules and regulations of the condo I have the right to have them arrested for breaking and entering and trespassing. There have actually been a couple instances when the realtor has been so adamant that I call the management company right in front of them and put the property manager on the phone with them to explain that the deck is indeed private. These realtors will do anything to sell a condo in this building. As they are leaving, always defeated I say "Oh, don't forget to tell them about the 2 million dollar assessment we just had that they gave the owners only 3 months to come up with the cash for"!! "Oh and you also can't forget to tell them about how they have raised our condo fees 14%, three years in a row"!! I know this is mean, but any buyer should know what they are getting into when buying a condo in this building. Don't get me wrong, I love my condo. It's so difficult to find a place of this size that is two stories with 2 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a balcony off the dining room and a roof deck off the master bedroom. But, this building has had it's problems, and I think any potential buyer should know about them...It is tough when every body in the building wants to use your deck. Last summer I went out there on a Saturday afternoon to find some random person having a BBQ, using my grill!!!
On the fourth of July it is incredible up there. I usually have a big party, but last year decided to just have a quiet evening and go out and watch the fireworks from the roof. I went outside and the other neighbor I share the deck with was having a small gathering. Then I come across a couple just sitting, at my table, drinking a bottle of wine. They weren't interacting with the others. I went and introduced myself. I asked "I don't mean to be rude, but who are you?" The guy said "We're your new neighbors" I asked what floor they lived on for I knew that none of the units with roof access were for sale or rent. They said they lived on the 3rd floor. I then had to explain that this was a private deck. They said that they knew that it was but that they thought we wouldn't mind if they used it!!!! I explained that them coming up here and using my deck was like me walking into their apartment, grabbing a drink out of the fridge and plopping down on the sofa. I said that if they really wanted to watch the fireworks all they had to do was knock on my door and asked. The guy apologized, I said they could stay for the fireworks if they liked. He was apologetic and did end up staying, but his wife was all mad and stormed off. The next day I saw his wife and she tried to lecture me about sharing!! I said if I let one person who didn't have roof rights use the deck, then I'd have to let everyone in the building. It's a big deck, but not big enough for the whole building to use it. One of the reasons why I bought the condo was the semi private deck. Why should I go outside and find some random person using my grill and sitting on my chaise lounge?? She said I was being selfish, and if she owned my condo she would let the entire building use it. I said she was a better person than I and walked away. As I walked away I told her that if I caught her up there again I wouldn't hesitate to call the police