Nutty Neighbors

[Mike in Seattle]

We had, for the first five or six years here, the stereotypical Gladys Kravitz. I tried to be nice & neighborly and say "Hello" but she'd always dash for cover. After I realized she wasn't ever going to allow any sort of contact, I turned it into a game. We have loads of stories - I had it written up on my web site for friends & family to keep updated on her latest antics. Life was never dull with her next door trying to keep up with us. My favorite - we'd put in a raised flowerbed and stone walkway along the fence separating us. I was fixing dinner one night and had put something on the kitchen table and glanced out - she had hoisted herself up (she was short & pudgy and early to mid 60's) on the fence and was holding on for dear life trying to look over into our yard to see what we'd done. She looked like the old "Kilroy Was Here" graffiti. I stood there, I guess with a "What is this loon doing now?" look on my face, she glanced over, sees me, she goes deer-in-the-headlights, lets go of the fence and splats into her own muddy yard. Took her awhile to roll around, get up and hobble inside with the help of "Abner" who was giving her a tongue-lashing all the way across the yard and into the house.

Another time we had a power failure. I walked into the darkened den and there's light from a flashlight shining around the floor. She was in their 2nd floor bedroom, peering out through the blinds with the flashlight, trying to see in our den window. I got my heavy-duty flashlight and shined it up at her. From that angle, about all she could see was the floor and end table.

And with nice neighbors next door who we can actually have conversations with, I must admit at times I do miss Gladys' antics.

 

[Pilgrim]

He has the technical right to cut branches if they come over his property.

But if he cuts them, he's responsible for disposing of them.

 

[Clara Noir]

The police removed most of our exciting neighbours.

There's the neighbour on the left who spent last summer firing a gun through our adjoining fence and into our back garden. And the lady two doors up who thinks it's fine for her feral cats to poop in our garden, but it's not ok for us to chase them off...but that's about it.

 

[Roger]

I've never had such an idiot live near me. In Rhode Island, if the branch grew over the property line, the neighbor would cut it and dispose of it. But I never heard nor had anyone cut the branch and then throw it into my yard. I have no problem with him cutting it, but not wanting to dispose of it is another matter. The guy is pig to begin with.

 

[erikb02809]

When I was living in Fall River Massachusetts, my building was set back from the street with a driveway in front of it. We shared the driveway with the adjacent building that was right next to the street. So, the driveway was in front of my building and on the side of theirs.

Well, one day the first floor tenant in the adjacent building decides in the middle of an argument with his wife that it'd be easier just to smack her around instead of actually trying to communicate. Several neighbors called the cops because from all the racket they had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Looking out the window, I saw that he was on his back porch having a ' drunken domestic violence cigarette break' when a police car pulled into the driveway.

The cops didn't have the lights on or anything, and calmly just asked him what was going on, and that they had heard it sounded like people had been fighting. The nutjob whips out a bowie knife that he had stuck in the back wasteband of his pants, and starts waving it at the cops while screaming and swearing at the top of his lungs. Both cops pulled their guns on the guy and shouted for him to drop the knife. Suddenly, I felt like the window wasn't exactly the best place to be, but I kept watching.

After about 5 minutes of waving the knife around, he finally put it down and the cops cuffed him. While physically he began cooperating with them, he was still screaming and swearing the whole time. He's incredibly lucky he didn't get shot. The town next to the one I grew up in, a man with a hatchet was shot and killed by the police in somewhat similar circumstances.

My roommate at the time and I were hoping that would be the last of him. Our landlord also owned the building he lived in, and we figured that if a stunt like that didn't get him evicted, nothing would. Somehow, the guy managed to be released from prison within 3 months of pulling a knife on the cops and his wife took him back, so we ended up having to put up with his drunk and disorderly shenanigans for like another year. We were really hoping that event would have gotten him evicted though, because he was always fighting and swearing at other tenants and throwing cigarette butts all over the driveway and letting his dog poop all over the place.

That's my entertaining nutty neighbor story. Also happens to be the first and only time I've ever seen guns pointed at someone in real life. It was a little unsettling.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

Love Thy Neighbor,...

:eusa_doh:
Everyone gets their fair share of heinous neighbors it seems.
I had a feral 14 year old punk upstairs that came and went as he pleased with his wretched little punk friends day and night. His mom was not around to supervise, unfortunately. So I ended up losing a leather jacket and another item I won on ebay that the mailman just left in front of my door to the thieving *&%#@s. :rage: Since have had all packages delivered at work,...and the punk has moved out! Probably at the urging of the management.
I notice also the police are not here every week any more.

 

[Cousin Hepcat]

A year or so back my next-door-neighbor didn't just cut down the tree limbs that spread over into his yard, he cut *all the trees* along the property line, right down to ground level, even the ones that were on my side of the line. Turned out his wife had given him a chain saw for his birthday, and he just wanted to be sure it worked right. Now I get to see his kids bouncing on their trampoline all day and they get a lovely view of my washing hanging on the clothesline. I miss the trees!

lol

shared that with my coworkers today, they said, lol lol lol lol lol Thanks for a good one.

My across the hall neighbor is afraid of my dog (Georgia). Her kids know and love my dog, but she wont let them play with her.

Shes very rude as to if I have Georgia and we are waiting for the elevator, she will rush in it first and not give me a chance. I just let her. She must think that if she is in an enclosed space for too long with my dog, that my dog will go crazy and just bite whatever is close at hand. I mean thats logical right? We have lived her nearly two years and I just think its crazy.

For whatever reason, I remember a lot of my friends I grew up with having some unnatural fear of dogs or other animals. Maybe because it was an urban setting and most hadn't grown up around pets, I don't know. I remember one lady was scared to tears and standing on chairs because of a tiny little week-old kitten.

My first dog, a German short-haired stray pointer who had previously been obviously well taken care of, was my favorite. All the other kids were scared of him & threw rocks when he wandered into our apartment playground; I went home & came back to throw hot dogs at him, he followed me home, and I had him for 3 years. Kindest friendliest dog you'd ever want to know, like a golden retriever, only BIGGER, and he'd always bring home turtles GALORE, I had no idea there were that many turtles in our town.

Some of the kids grew less scared, but some never did. It's sad, Lady Day, about your neighbor, but I don't think so strange.

- C H

 

[Dr Doran]

If one has a yard, bamboo is a fine fence. It grows tall and fast and you won't have to look at Jed and the Clampetts next door. Rhizomatic root system, if I understand it right, like papyrus.

My best tale of horrid neighbors:

In South Berkeley, somewhat near the Oakland border, on a wretched street (Harmon) of crack and impoverished, uneducated thugs defiant at the rest of society and their chances in it, there was a metalhead prostitute named Brit'ney (yes, that was the spelling) living in the front bottom of the fantastically inexpensive quadriplex apartment building in which my fiancee lived in the top back. (Don't get me wrong, one of my exes had previously been a high-end 'masseuse,' so I do not hate prostitutes as a class -- but this girl was of a certain category.) Brit'ney had gentleman (!) callers frequently and they would have a meth-snortin,' head-bangin,' chorus-singalongin' orgasmic good time late into the evening (like until 3 AM or later), for which evenings of frolic she would accept cash. Someone tried to break into my fiancee's apartment once while my fiancee was napping. The thug couldn't figure out that the door was unlocked because there were two doorknobs and he tried the wrong one, which a previoud tenant had attached for fun (?). He tried to break in through the window; my fiancee heard him, saw him, and called the cops who came immediately but he escaped. The cop told my fiancee that the burglars don't just burgle anymore; lately they have been raping and murdering if they find someone. After making my fiancee promise to lock the doors with renewed scrupulousness, after installing new anti-burglary equipment, I had a feeling that Brit'ney was involved (via something said to someone such as, "hey, that girl who lives upstairs is pretty classy. Maybe she has something you could steal for meth") so I "casually" mentioned, in a conversation with Brit'ney and some very suspect-looking friends of hers, that ironically on the very day of the attempted break-in, I had just gotten my 100 hour badge at the shooting range, that I always pack a pistol and that "it would get me off (!) to blow some *&%er's head away." A stunningly vulgar statement, but justified under the circumstances. I think she spread the word and told the usual suspects; nothing happened again. Then, after I moved in with my fiancee who at this point was my wife, the frequency of Brit'ney's gentleman callers increased and she obviously began dealing drugs from her apartment. Freaks were yelling Brit'ney's name at night and Brit'ney asked if she could stay with us once, which I had to decline as I could not have a meth addict prostitute sleeping on the living room couch and thereby having control over the front door of the apartment in which I was sleeping with my wife. (Besides, I must confess aesthetic revulsion to the whitish bugars of crystal meth visible in her nasal passages from several feet away.) Obviously she owed people money. Bad people, mean people, people who believe it is proper to "make an example" out of someone. Someone ransacked her apartment once when she was not there and destroyed her belongings. I had a chat with her about Socrates and the course of her life and she said, "I don't look for bad people. They find me," as though she had no control over those with whom she associated. Persons were stealing our mail too, including a credit card which they tried to use (and failed as I had already maxed it out). I talked to the landlord who said that the marxist Berkeley renters' rights council would not let him kick out a tenant under almost any circumstances; at his suggestion, I wrote in a formal typed letter that we were afraid for our safety with someone like Brit'ney living in our building bringing criminal types around, that we had lost mail, etc. My wife felt bad about this letter, as though one's safety should not be one's paramount concern in almost all situations. With this letter the landlords finally could evict her. She disappeared before she even received the eviction notice. Her apartment door was gaping open for days, the eviction notice taped to it and fluttering in the wind, and no one was there, no sounds, nothing. I went in at one point, and it was like that dolorous cabin from the end of The Blair Witch Project: a mess, no electricity, stench, freaky handprints, bottles of dubious fluids and substances lying about, an old toiletbrush of uncertain provenance, clothes lying around in sinister anthropomorphic poses, and best of all, on the kitchen wall someone had written in big paint letters, "We're gonna kill you, bitch." We never saw Brit'ney again.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

I'm glad I don't live in your neighborhood.

 

[Dr Doran]

I'm glad I don't live in your neighborhood.

We are so outta that crack den. We scored an apartment in the lovely sweet-smelling Berkeley hills four years ago and live there now, with a view of San Francisco and its bay from our deck, with deer wandering around and tons of trees everywhere, hunting lodge decor inside, dark wood everywhere. Mostly retired homeowners living on this street. No crack here at all. Or prostitutes. We did our time in the slums (before that I lived in San Francisco's Tenderloin district, pretty nasty, and before that in the "Western Addition" of San Francisco, between the projects, in the mid-1990s before it filled up with college graduates), and now we are enjoying a neighborhood full of educated, reasonably well-off, pleasant folks who bring us homebaked goodies from time to time. I think we deserve it now. No drama here except a girl who occasionally jumps around upstairs and we got her to stop by bringing her downstairs while her friend was playing upstairs and making her listen to how loud it is down here when someone is vigorously playing above. That was the only way to get it through to her and I recommend it to everyone.

 

[Viola]

My current neighbors are pretty cool. The lady next door is super sweet, and she's lived in that house her ENTIRE eighty year life so she can tell us neat vintage-y details about the area, which I consider a plus. She also bred German Shepherds when she was younger so our dogs do not phase her in the slightest.

Growing up some of my neighbors, in another area, were quite scary. Oddly, the dealers were definitely the nicer people.

-Viola

 

[Dr Doran]

My current neighbors are pretty cool. The lady next door is super sweet, and she's lived in that house her ENTIRE eighty year life so she can tell us neat vintage-y details about the area, which I consider a plus. She also bred German Shepherds when she was younger so our dogs do not phase her in the slightest.

Growing up some of my neighbors, in another area, were quite scary. Oddly, the dealers were definitely the nicer people.

-Viola

You're a lucky lady. Most of the dealers have really sucked where I have lived.

 

[Lady Day]

Some of the kids grew less scared, but some never did. It's sad, Lady Day, about your neighbor, but I don't think so strange.

- C H

Well in my last apartment, Georgia was the first and only dog in the building. The building manager LOVED her (took her for walks), and the owner met and liked her, but my across the hall neighbor kept calling him and calling him saying I was doing this with the dog and doing that. And that she had a kid and yadda yadda...

The building manager, she, and I had a 'meeting' where I blatantly said "My dog is on the lease, she is not going anywhere." I agreed to 'curb' Georgia (always have her on leash, which I did) when she was in the hall at the same time as me (which was once in maybe 6 months because she watched me through her keyhole), and 'hold my dog's mouth' when she came up the stairs when the lady was there :eusa_doh:

The worst part was when this woman came to my apartment door and cussed me out! *%&# this and %*#& that about keeping my dog out of her way. I was going through a rough time with my terminal mother on the other side of the country, and had I not been on meds, Id of beat her silly.

I looked into a restraining order and all the proper procedures of having a dog in SF (there are great laws for pet owners BTW ) and in the end I moved.

Now the building has nothing BUT dog owners, most of them bigger than mine (who is 80 lbs) Karma, eh! I saw her on the street a few months back, and she was all sweet and friendly to my pooch. [huh] I dont get people most of the time.

LD

 

[The Wolf]

I lived at an apartment when I was first married that had some incidents, like screaming and windows breaking. Strangely, the main thing I remember about the place is a neighbor whose young son liked to play in the middle of the parking lot. Daily she would yell out to him "Stop doing that, I mean it, I'm not going to tell you again. Stop doing that, I mean it, okay, one, two, I mean it. Stop doing that. I'm not going to tell you again. One, two, I'm serious..." etc.
The kid learned at an early age that he could just ignore his mom.

Sincerely,
The Wolf

 

[Barry]

About 12 years ago my folks moved. They rented a house while they were looking for a neaby home to purchase. Their neighbor raised the Confederate flag every morning and he owned a mean dog which roamed the neighborhood looking for people to bite.

When I was growing up in the suburbs we had a neighbor who piled up his grass clippings and leaves in an area that was on his property but which also was right near our backyard. After several years there was a gigantic mountain of decomposing clippings and leaves which attracted all sorts of critters. :rage:

 

[Manny Tavares]

Let me guess; I bet his backyard was fully of weeds and gopher holes? and he's worried about a couple stupid branches 10 feet above the ground?:rage:
Sounds like a LOSER!

 

[Viola]

You're a lucky lady. Most of the dealers have really sucked where I have lived.

I would imagine that's more normal. The dealers I had were very quiet and very into "...lets all nod good-morning and not pry into each other's business..." and didn't really ever bother us at all. Just a lot of cars, but oh well. We didn't know they were dealers until they got busted and the paper printed OUR address.

Meanwhile, the people on the other side were this all-American family with a daddy who worked for the city and the mommy who stayed home and three cute kids and they (the parents, the kids were my age and all right) were batcrap insane.

They were just lucky they were dealing with my mom and not me; I would have declared war after they told her that our holiday decorations were unacceptable because they "didn't have a problem with Jews, just the ones who flaunt it" much less before they got up to worse problems later.

I really don't know what's wrong with some people.

-Viola

 

[rockyj]

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[Roger]

They were just lucky they were dealing with my mom and not me; I would have declared war after they told her that our holiday decorations were unacceptable because they "didn't have a problem with Jews, just the ones who flaunt it" much less before they got up to worse problems later.

I really don't know what's wrong with some people.

-Viola

[/QUOTE]
Good Lord! What are Jewish holiday decorations? And what moron is offended by any one celebrating their religion? Sounds like you've got a real loser there.

 

[Cousin Hepcat]

...I looked into a restraining order and all the proper procedures of having a dog in SF (there are great laws for pet owners BTW ) and in the end I moved.

Now the building has nothing BUT dog owners, most of them bigger than mine (who is 80 lbs) Karma, eh! I saw her on the street a few months back, and she was all sweet and friendly to my pooch. [huh] I dont get people most of the time.

LD

Wow, LD... sounds like this one WAS nutty. but that's me, always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt...

- C H