Non Fathers on Fathers' Day

[dhermann1]

So the big day is coming again this weekend. And I know people will warmly wish me a happy Father's Day. And I'll have all sorts of mixed feelings about it, and debate in my head if I should say,. "I don't have kids! I'm not a father", or just mumble "Thank you". Sometimes it really just irritates me that people are just so presumptuous, but then I remind myself that they mean well. So I sometimes say something, and I sometimes don't. And I just sort of grumble inside. I mean, I wish I did have kids, but I don't. Luck of the draw.
All you other non-fathers out there (and for that matter non-mothers), how do you feel about this?

 

[lolly_loisides]

It isn't something people wish to each other in Australia. Well we do to family, but certainly not to strangers.

Anyway, a very merry non fathers day to you (and a very merry non mothers day to me).

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

A couple of weeks ago I was at the local convention center for a home show. I was in the ladies room, and after washing my hands I did what I always do- use my paper towel to give the sink area a wipe down to limit the water sloshed around it. An older woman in there looked and said "you can always tell who the mothers are". I just smiled and said thank you. I'm not a mom. More like Auntie Mame. I always assume they are complimenting me and my awesome potential parenting skills. Same as when I get the happy mother's day greeting.

Obviously you are the kind of guy people assume would be a father. And presumably a good one. Unless you're 16, to me it's a compliment.

 

[Puzzicato]

It isn't something people wish to each other in Australia. Well we do to family, but certainly not to strangers.

Anyway, a very merry non fathers day to you (and a very merry non mothers day to me).

I am actually a bit shocked to find out that it is used as a greeting anywhere! Surely that is something that only your children (and potentially the mother of your children) should say to you?

I helped my cat buy my husband a card and present for Sunday, but I would be very surprised if it gets a mention otherwise!

 

[Doctor Strange]

Hey, don't sweat it. Some of us actual fathers could less about Fathers Day - I consider it an utterly bogus holiday that exists solely to sell greeting cards and executive toys.

I won't even be seeing my kids on it this year. And that's fine: it's bushwa. I come from a family where we're actually there for each other ALL THE TIME, and as a result we don't pay much attention to greeting-card holidays or birthdays... If you have an actual, functional family relationship, you don't need such "events" as an excuse (or requirement) to think about each other and spend time together.

 

[hatophile]

Last Father's day we were staying at my wife's family's cottage on the North Shore of Massachusetts. I am not the father of human children, but daddy to 6 dogs. One of our dogs has a chronic bladder problem, so we use diapers at night to keep him from leaking. I had to make an emergency run to the local market to pick up some extra diapers toddler size. As I was checking out, the cashier wished me a Happy Father's Day and commented-
"Looks like you have a big boy there!" I said "I certainly do", and politely thanked her for the Father's Day wishes.
I routinely get Father's Day cards from my pups!

 

[Spitfire]

Fathers day came and went over here (june 5th) - and all though I have two sons, non of them remembered it. Neither did I. Couldn't care less.
I know they love me - or I think they do. Don't need any special day for that. And since we do not even use Happy Fathers Day as a greeting either over here, I don't even have to grumble about that either, dhermann1

 

[dhermann1]

Yeah, I take it as a compliment. But it just seems . . . odd. I think this is another example of American culture turning EVERYTHING into an opportunity to sell something. That's why everybody starts saying Happy Father's Day, or Halloween, or Valentine's Day, or whatever. Except Flag Day. (Good article in the Times last week about this orphan holiday.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

Me, at seven: "How come there's a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but there's no Children's Day?"

Ma: "Everyday is Children's Day. Now get the hell outside."

 

[Drappa]

^My parents invented children's day for me when I was a child and I got a card and small gift and to do fun stuff.
Apart from that, I have never encountered father's or mother's day being the occasion for greeting people, and it actually seems quite insensitive to me. What if people have really wanted to be a parent but couldn't? Also, I thought it was a day for one's children to show appreciation, not for complete strangers. Thankfully nobody has ever wished me a happy mother's day, as I would find it very awkward.

 

[LocktownDog]

Couldn't care less about Fathers Day. My kids and I just ignore it. I do have them do something special for Mothers Day, however.

I must not look like a dad of a couple of teens, though. I don't recall anyone ever wishing me a happy fathers day.

 

[Tomasso]

I've received the greeting from restaurant personnel when dining with my kids on Father's Day but never when I'm without them on that day. It would seem a bit presumptuous.

 

[jonniangel]

Me, at seven: "How come there's a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but there's no Children's Day?"

Ma: "Everyday is Children's Day. Now get the hell outside."

Ah yes, I got the "every day is Children's Day" response when I was a kid too. Never seemed quite fair.

I'm pretty sure I would feel awkward being wished a happy Mother's Day since I don't have children. I always feel like I'm letting people down when I'm asked if I have children and I answer no. The silence that follows that answer can be quite deafening so I probably wouldn't mention it to someone that wished me a HMD but I'd want to give them a look. I can't imagine saying that to anyone but a family member.

 

[Pompidou]

I've never wished anyone but my own dad a happy Father's Day - not even my grandfathers. Mother's Day and Father's Day are very limited holidays. It's not about praising every father, hence the father's rather than fathers'. That's how I see it. It's a thoroughly singular occasion, unless, I suppose, you have some step-dads in the equation, and then it's a matter of personal feelings/discretion. I wouldn't be snide if someone wished me a happy Father's Day, but I'd think it while saying thanks. It's never happened yet.

 

[RichardH]

Fathers day is in November here in Norway.. But I´ve never celebrated fathers day & mothers day. Personally I think the whole concept is ridiculous.. My parents know that I love 'em and that's all there is to it

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Ditto. Perhaps this is the mark of a hallmark holiday that has "made it" to *official holiday* status. I have visions of young ladies randomly wishing happy fathers day to total strangers just to make the men think: I don't think I have a child your age but maybe, just maybe, one drunken evening …

People wishing strangers "happy valentines day" is just creepy, too.

I am actually a bit shocked to find out that it is used as a greeting anywhere! Surely that is something that only your children (and potentially the mother of your children) should say to you?

 

[Tomasso]

I was cruising the radio dial this morning when I caught a program host wish all the fathers out there a happy fathers day.........a day early to boot.

 

[laotou]

I just explain that I would of had kids, but I couldn't afford military school.

 

[Lily Powers]

Mother's Day has always been far more aggressively marketed in the US, but I see the trend towards Father's Day being pushed in the buying-public's eye more. "Dad's Day" is competing with "Grad's Day" in the consumer market during June.

It can be awkward when a well-meaning individual wishes me a happy Mother's Day (because I'm a woman, so *of course* I must have or want or regret not having children), but I don't see that offering of well-wishing to guys in general. Seriously, if someone wishes me a happy anything, I just smile and say thanks. I may not be a mom, but I had a mom and a dad, so happy Mother's and Father's Days to their memories.

 

[plain old dave]

My father's been gone since 1990. Name on a piece of paper, anyway. No kids. Father's Day is just another meaningless holiday. End of self-pity.