Mr./Ms./Mrs.

[Mojito]

I find it difficult from a professional point of view when people do not indicate their preferred title. We often have approaches from museums, archives and academics regarding loans, potential collaborative projects etc. In the initial response, I always use a formal salutation...when you're dealing with people all over the world from different cultures, I find it is a helpful way to avoid causing offense. Odds are that if the correspondence continues we will wind up on an informal, first name basis, but it's very difficult in the first instance if they don't indicate their preferred title, particularly as many hold PhDs or are senior academics e.g. professors. I've spent many hours googling to find out if the museum director who signed herself 'Jane Doe' is Dr, Ms, Mrs, Miss, Professor, Admiral etc!

There are subtle nuances to modern communication creeping in...for example, when writing a first contact/first response email, I will address the recipient formally (e.g. "Dr Jones"), but will sign off with my forename. The autosignature then puts my full name, position and contact details below my name. It thus gives them all the information they need about me, but at the same time invites them to use my forename if they wish.

 

[Fletch]

Well, I'm not a Mrs. anymore, and I'm just a bit too old to be a Miss -- so does that make me a Near-Miss?

Is Madame too formal?

I personally prefer to be called "Colonel," "Squire" or "ya knucklehead."

Time for a song...

We'll ride thru clover
And proudly we'll explain
"Mr. and Mrs. is the Name"

We'll phone all over
To Tom and Dick and Jane
"Mr. and Mrs. is the Name"

And then to your people and my people we'll write this phrase
We're wedded and we're headed for happy days

Bring on that clover
And let the gang exclaim
"Mr. and Mrs. is the Name"

 

[Polka Dot]

I had a horrible customer call me "dear" in a condescending way about 10 times the other day. I suppose I'd find it endearing if it were an elderly customer, but this customer was about 35. I like being called Miss in formal situations. I do cringe if someone calls me Ma'am, but I know that he or she is just being polite.

I've always thought there was a difference between Ms. and Miss. Ms. is the generic title for a woman, without reference to her marital status. Miss is used for a younger, presumably unmarried, woman and Mrs. for a married woman. Is this still true?

When I was a child, my aunt addressed birthday cards to me using Miss, but my brother got a special title -- Master.

 

["Doc" Devereux]

You smartarses don't count. Especially the Chev-meister.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I like it when British ladies of a certain age call people "love" and "ducky".


.

 

[Rosie]

I like the term "lady of a certain age". Tickles me.

 

[Viola]

I'm usually called Miss. Sometimes Ms., which is fine. When I was an assistant to a professor he referred to me to the class as "Miss [Firstname]" which tickled me but sounds really odd to my ear.

As a short, young-looking early-20s, anything at all beats "why aren't you in school?!" which I got last year from an elderly gentlemen. lol

Viola

 

[Elaina]

I did the boy scout thing, and I'm bad with the boys' names. I call my own "hon", "honey", "sweetie" and I do so to the other kids.

I am called Mrs. Flessas. That or one kid with a bad lisp gets called (by me) Checkie since I get called Mrs. Wessas. I did get called today "Mrs Casey's mommy lady" so I suppose I can cope with that.

On the other hand, the other mom that was there calls me Mrs. Flessas, and won't tell anyone her last name to call her in a similar fashion. How do you handle that situation? (Call her Maria?)

 

[John in Covina]

Miss Lauren

Sorry. Being serious. I prefer Mr. Huffington-Smythe. I don't care to be called Scott by someone I have just met. And vice-versa. Miss Lauren seems better.

*****
Well if Miss Lauren is better for you I'll use it, but frankly thay makes ME uncomfortable.

 

[John in Covina]

I prefer to be called Mister by little kids up to teens for introduction purposes but after a while they can use John at my invitation. If they're 20YO or more John is fine. My Sister in Law's family, the neices and nephews will say Uncle John, which throws me.

People that i haven't been introduced to will use Mister and that is OK too.


Mister...Anderson... You're like..a virus.....

 

[Phaedra]

I prefer Ms.

 

[Paisley]

I find it difficult from a professional point of view when people do not indicate their preferred title. We often have approaches from museums, archives and academics regarding loans, potential collaborative projects etc. In the initial response, I always use a formal salutation...when you're dealing with people all over the world from different cultures, I find it is a helpful way to avoid causing offense. Odds are that if the correspondence continues we will wind up on an informal, first name basis, but it's very difficult in the first instance if they don't indicate their preferred title, particularly as many hold PhDs or are senior academics e.g. professors. I've spent many hours googling to find out if the museum director who signed herself 'Jane Doe' is Dr, Ms, Mrs, Miss, Professor, Admiral etc!

There are subtle nuances to modern communication creeping in...for example, when writing a first contact/first response email, I will address the recipient formally (e.g. "Dr Jones"), but will sign off with my forename. The autosignature then puts my full name, position and contact details below my name. It thus gives them all the information they need about me, but at the same time invites them to use my forename if they wish.

I'd rather call someone by a title and be told, "Oh, call me Billie!" than use a first name and be told, in a frosty tone, "It's Dr. Jones, if you don't mind." And I'd rather use the term "Dr. Jones" and be told, "I'm not a Dr. yet" than--well, you get the idea.

 

[Paisley]

Once on a court TV show, there was a litigant from Africa. He addressed the female judge as "My Lord." The judge commented that she liked that.

***

I read that Clark Gable (I think it was) was asked by a young actress (who was doing a movie with him) what she should call him. "For the time we'll know each other," Gable said, "Mr. Gable will do."

 

[Lauren]

*****
Well if Miss Lauren is better for you I'll use it, but frankly thay makes ME uncomfortable.

lol lol lol
Well, if he wants to be called that it may be a bit confusing when I'm around, but he's welcome to it. Maybe I should go by Mister Scott?

 

[Barbigirl]

If you prefer titles, in what situation? Professional, work, all?

At work, I like when people call me Ms. initially and usually right away I will say, please call me Barbi. I think it is rapport building and get the conversation off the ground fast when they have a blank look and I say, "yes, really, like the doll but no 'e' "

Also, the moment someone calls me "Barb" I say "sorry, it's Barbi" because THAT drives me insane! Because I am most definately NOT any of these http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/barb

 

[Kim_B]

I am fine with being addressed by my first name, as long as the situation warrants it. When I assisted a 2nd grade teacher, she insisted the children call me Miss Hunter, and I loved it. Hardly any one I speak with regarding work (customers, vendors, etc) use formal titles for any one, even the owners. In restaurants I am addressed as Ma'am a lot, and I hate it. I know they are trying to be polite, but I am not a Ma'am! It makes me feel ancient!

What I hate the most is when people feel at liberty to call me Kimmy...I don't mind if you're a close friend or a relative as it warms me to hear my cousins and aunts call me that, but if we work together and you just out-of-the-blue start calling me Kimmy, please expect an "I'm sorry, what did you call me?!" look! Online friends are different - while I've never met most of them in person, I don't mind of they call me Kimmy. The only people who call me by my full first name (Kimberly) are my paternal Grandmother (who feels Kim is not an acceptable name for a young lady) and my parents or hubby when I've goofed something up! I actually don't mind being called Kimberly - it's a bit formal, but makes me feel important some times.

 

[Riposte3]

I've always thought there was a difference between Ms. and Miss. Ms. is the generic title for a woman, without reference to her marital status. Miss is used for a younger, presumably unmarried, woman and Mrs. for a married woman. Is this still true?

This is also how I was taught, and as far as I know it hasn't changed except for the fact that most people just don't bother with titles anymore.

To second (or third, or fourth, etc.) most other people's opinion, I also find it very annoying for a total stranger, most especially a salesperson, to immediately start using my first name without my invitation to do so.

The worst was when I was working for a private ambulance service and we stopped at a fast food place. One of the kids behind the counter saw my nametag, said "Hi Jacob!" and started talking as if he had known me for years when we had never met before! :rage: If I hadn't been trying to slip a meal in between transports I would have walked right out. (Er, end of rant)

-Jake

 

[John in Covina]

The Name (tag) Game

One of the kids behind the counter saw my nametag, said "Hi Jacob!" and started talking as if he had known me for years when we had never met before! -Jake

Question: What is the name tag for? And why would you begrudge someone from using the information? Can you take it off when not on duty? (I guess you could legally change your first name to Mister.)

Often when at a store or such and the person there has a name tag I try to make a point of using their name in my conversation / request for assistance to create a rapport so they don't want to screw me on what ever purchase i am making.

 

[Riposte3]

Question: What is the name tag for? And why would you begrudge someone from using the information? Can you take it off when not on duty? (I guess you could legally change your first name to Mister.)

The nametag was part of the uniform (think police/fire/EMS style shirt with the badge attachment point on the left chest and agency and level patches on the shoulders). We had to be in that uniform the first 16 hours of our shift and that or the uniform jumpsuit the last 8 hours (24 hour shifts). The nametag had both my first and last name engraved on it, and we were required to wear them.

Often when at a store or such and the person there has a name tag I try to make a point of using their name in my conversation / request for assistance to create a rapport so they don't want to screw me on what ever purchase i am making.

What you describe here seems like an exception to the general rule. You're the customer; he is there to serve you, and that puts him in a subordinate position to you. The situation I described was exactly the opposite; he was the cashier, I was the customer. It was both unprofessional and presumptious on his part, especially as I had never actually given my name. He had to read it from my nametag.

I do admit, though, that I may have been expecting too much from a high school kid in a fast food job. [huh] Or that I may be a little old fashioned, but that's how I was raised to address people.

-Jake

 

[Elaina]

Well, hate to say it, but after getting shot becuase I was a manager of one of those places, sounds like the kid was doing a good job.

They train them to try and pay attention and be uber friendly. Sounds like this one was a hustler and was trying to do the best job he could. It's like Cici's: I hate getting screamed at when I walk it, but I can appreciate that these teenagers that probably don't care, care enough about their job to do an extra step.

And would you rather have someone say "Hi Jacob!" or "What do YOU want?"