Manners & Etiquette

[Air Boss]

NOt just ours...

I go to a couple of hockey games a year and when a Canadian team is in town it's just as bad. You should see the looks I get when I sing both anthems! "Oh Canada..."

 

[Marc Chevalier]

The "WOOHOO" shout is idiotic on any occasion, and should be eviscerated alive.


Incidentally, does anyone here (in addition to me) know all the OTHER verses of the National Anthem by heart?



In case you don't, here's your chance to do some memorizin':


On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!


.

 

[Irena]

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!


.

Have you ever heard 2000 people singing the national athem (all verses) together? It's very moving.

 

[RadioHead]

Both sides o' the border.

I go to a couple of hockey games a year and when a Canadian team is in town it's just as bad. You should see the looks I get when I sing both anthems! "Oh Canada..."

I know what you mean. My wife is American, I'm Canadian. When we go to a hockey game she sings the American anthem and the Canadian anthem. I sing the Canadian anthem only, but sometimes in French. And why not? I am bilingual, living in Canada's only "officially bilingual" province. But the looks I get from time to time... you'd think I was advocating and overthrow of some kind.

And by the way, for any Americans not aware of it, the hat or hand over the heart thing is solely American. Canadians are expected to remove their hats and stand. That's it. So if you are at a sporting event or other occasion where a national anthem is played and see someone NOT covering their heart... they just might be foreigners... or at least Canadians.

"RadioHead"

 

[Mike in Seattle]

Uggh! I so don't like it when people do not RSVP. I'm going through that now with a friend of mine who hasn't told me whether or not she will be attending my tea party. My mom tells me to call her but, I don't want to! I sent her an invite, a nice hand written one at that, the least she can do is let me know if she is coming. I've already invited someone else in her place, I hope she doesn't show.

Two thoughts - I have uninvited a few people at times. Basically I call and say, "I didn't hear from you, so I'm taking that as a 'no' and I've put another in your seat. Perhaps you can come to the next party." I did it last fall with one couple who couldn't make up their mind. Several calls over the course of a week. The day I had three calls in one afternon crossed the line. Each call was maybe we can, maybe we can't, maybe we'll stop for drinks, maybe we'll stop for dessert, maybe we'll stay home and watch Jeopardy. They had often pulled the same routine and I just got tired of practically having to beg. I figure if you get an invitation to a party and don't immediately get excited and are looking forward to coming, you probably shouldn't.

The other thing I've threatened to do - send out the usual invitations to a party. Those who RSVP as a 'yes' I call the day before the party and say I've decided to have it somewhere else and give them the new location. Stick a note on the door that we're down at the new location (not saying where) and hurry and join us. Or add to the note on the door "The map below shows you how to get there..." and tear off the bottom half of the page.

BTW - your tea party sounds great!

 

[Paisley]

The No-Go

Mike, that's funny!

I now have a concept I call the no-go. If I'm looking to get together with someone on anything--a night out, a purchase, whatever--and I don't hear from them within a few days, it's a no-go. Instead of analyzing it and trying to figure out what they meant by that and what are they going to do and tying myself up in knots, I just dismiss it. In fact, a week and a half ago, I offered to be in a dance performance group. The person I talked to said he would talk with me later. Well...he has my e-mail address and I haven't heard from him. I've made other plans without consulting him. It's all good.

 

[Barry]

I broke my left pinky toe a little over a week ago.

I'm wearing a large cast shoe and walking with a big old hospital cane (the kind with the rubber handle). I boarded the bus this morning around 8:30AM to go to work. The bus wasn't jam-packed at all but every seat was occupied - including the eight handicapped/elderly seats. I just decided to wait and see what would happen.

After about 15 minutes someone finally got up and the young woman standing to my right walked around me and raced towards the seat - I didn't even have a chance. The bus emptied out at around 20th street or so.

I finally managed to get a seat.


Barry

 

[mysterygal]

Cal, you're not alone on the forgetting to send thank you cards! I have such good intentions it's the follow through I'm not so good at :eusa_doh:
1.I always tell a gentleman thank you whenever a door is open for me.
2. try to help out the elderly whenever possible
3. always say please and thank you's, no matter who it's to.

 

[Viola]

I broke my left pinky toe a little over a week ago.

I'm wearing a large cast shoe and walking with a big old hospital cane (the kind with the rubber handle). I boarded the bus this morning around 8:30AM to go to work. The bus wasn't jam-packed at all but every seat was occupied - including the eight handicapped/elderly seats. I just decided to wait and see what would happen.

After about 15 minutes someone finally got up and the young woman standing to my right walked around me and raced towards the seat - I didn't even have a chance. The bus emptied out at around 20th street or so.

I finally managed to get a seat.


Barry

That's awful. I don't see how you could keep your seat with someone standing there with their foot in a cast.

I got in an almost-argument with a very old man with a bag full of groceries, about him taking my seat - he needed it WAY more than I did.

 

[Bixie Bliss]

I love it when people display good manners. It's a very attractive quality. I've felt butterflies when a man I was hitherto not interested in has stood up to greet me, tipped his hat, opened car doors etc. My job used to take me occasionally to military courts and I would have the required clearance to walk through the army base to get there. If any soldiers passed by, a cheery "Good morning!" was exchanged. It took me ages to get used to strangers saying hello and I must have appeared really rude until I got used to it and responded back immediately rather than look puzzled and by the time I realised it was just a random hello, they'd gone.

ETA I didn't realise it was such an old post!

 

[scotrace]

We encourage revivals around here. Welcome to The Fedora Lounge.

 

[Fading Fast]

As with most things today, manners have become political. We've had long discussions here (this forum, not necessarily this thread), about holding doors, standing up when a woman approaches a table, etc. I, like everyone else, have my opinions on what is silly political correctness and what isn't, but since few people (myself included) are going to change their minds, these discussions quickly become political gun fights if they are talking about what is "right" to do today. Hence, I personally stay away from those discussions.

That said - and think this is historical not political - as a kid growing up in the late '60s / '70s who loved old movies on TV, I know that one of the things that attracted me to the Era were all the manners, all the little societal rituals - holding doors, standing up when a woman entered, addressing people by they sir names, dressing a formal way for a specific event, etc. - of that period. I can't say that I wanted to live in that world, but I was fascinated that it existed once.

 

[Bixie Bliss]

Yes I saw in FAQs that is it allowed so didn't panic too much about it. Thanks!

Ah I see. It can be political, but good manners are sadly in decline and in some cases non-existent. It feels a selfish world we live in today. I'll let the thread go in case I start a war though!

 

[Fading Fast]

Yes I saw in FAQs that is it allowed so didn't panic too much about it. Thanks!

Ah I see. It can be political, but good manners are sadly in decline and in some cases non-existent. It feels a selfish world we live in today. I'll let the thread go in case I start a war though!

Welcome - I just noticed that you are a new member. Great to have you. I think you'll find a lot to enjoy here.

 

[Bixie Bliss]

Thank you. I'm enjoying it here but I have an awful lot to catch up on!

 

[belfastboy]

I always look to see if there is a person (regardless of gender) close enough behind me at the door. If it makes sense and I don't have to wait too long or make the person hurry up I hold the door for them. Then I make eye contact and smile. It is partly manners and my subversive way of creating an albeit briefest human moment to light the day. I always get a smile returned and invariably a thank you. A small thing but not insignificant.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^^^^^

Pretty much my approach as well. Somebody has to get the door, after all. May as well be me.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Indeed. Closest person to the door opens it and holds it for the person just behind them. That person says thank you, end of transaction. Anybody who lets a door shut in the face of someone just behind them, no matter who it is, is an inconsiderate jackass.

What needs to come back is not the "form" of etiquette, but the ethos behind it -- simply be considerate of other people. There's no need to stand up and swirl your cape and doff your plumed musketeer hat and make a deep bow and otherwise make a great show of giving someone a seat on the bus -- if you see someone who needs the seat more than you do, just give it to them, grab a strap or a pole, and forget about it.

 

[CONELRAD]

This may not be entirely relevant to this discussion, but it's just such a funny song I couldn't resist posting it.

[video=youtube;oBj40wqn8tQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBj40wqn8tQ[/video]

 

[2jakes]

It was 5 o’clock heavy traffic. I was seated in a crowded subway in Tokyo.
An elderly Japanese woman was standing.
I don’t speak the language but I motion for her to have my seat.
She was shy & hesitated as she looked at the men standing around.
I smiled & motioned again. She made a gesture of bowing & sat down.

I thought nothing more except that the men standing around glared at me.

A 2nd Lt. in the Army who was stationed there, later told me that the women
stand while the men sit.
I’m not saying this is the way it is or if it’s true. That was in the late 60s.

Just sayin’ !


PS: what I also recall, was standing & seeing mostly the tops of everyone’s head.

I’m 6’ 3”...