love sick :(

[LordJohnRoxton]

Have been through a crushing break-up at the beginning of August myself, I truly sympathize. I know it is difficult, and "stay busy" really is the best advice. I found that there were so many things which I enjoyed which had fallen by the wayside when I was in my relationship... I've been pursuing those things. It has been helpful. It still hurts of course, but it is a lot less painful and I don't really dwell on it so much anymore. The thing is to keep yourself moving. Don't give yourself the opportunity to sit around dwelling on it. Oh, it will hit you hard at times... but we can survive.

 

[Miss 1929]

All great advice!

I have not much to add but my sympathies!
And also, even though it hurts, you can't have the peaks in life without the valleys. I am sadder for those who have never been in love than for those who have had love gone bad.
I know you feel awful, and I remember how much it hurts, but try to keep in mind - he was definitely NOT the right guy! You deserve better, someone who appreciates you!
Friends (virtual ones too!) and music and an occasional good cry will get you through it.

 

[Foofoogal]

I know nothing much helps when you are going thru this but I broke up with someone I thought I was going to marry. I prayed Lord if it is meant to be please let me get back with this person. If not please send the one you want me to marry. I believe if it is meant to be it will work out.
Within a few months I met the man of my dreams and instantly fell in love. We were married in Aug. 32 years.
My sympathy to you but doors open when others close. Wishing you a new beginning.

 

[Naama]

Thanks everyone!

Yes, I keep myself busy, I have to due to school (I would prefer something else to keep me busy.... ) And I also have my friends who all tell me how stupid he is and how bad he dressed anyway (he really did....)! how I love them!

Yes, but I don't know, it's not so much about him anymore, it's more this feeling of being lonely I guess what just grows stronger during the holidays.... And all my friends who are at the moment not in relationships (only a few are not) feel the same way too at the moment.



Naama

 

[pennyseranade]

Whether you should rely on friends and family depends on the friends and family. My mother thought my ex-boyfriend and I were a great couple, and she encouraged me to go back to him. :eusa_doh:

You are so right! Having a good family and good friends makes all the difference.

 

[Edward]

Yes, but I don't know, it's not so much about him anymore, it's more this feeling of being lonely I guess what just grows stronger during the holidays.... And all my friends who are at the moment not in relationships (only a few are not) feel the same way too at the moment.

Oh yes. I think a lot of us know that (I'm just so looking forward to yet another Christmas spent in a single bed at my parents' house. ). But believe me.... it's one heck of a lot lonelier being trapped in the wrong relationship than it is being on your own... Losing a relationship that meant something to you is s**t. It may never get easier, but over time you deal with it an awful lot better.

 

[MrNewportCustom]

I agree with The Wingnut, and with staying busy. When a relationship ends for me, I do everything I can to keep from thinking about it, and at all costs avoid renewing contact. I go so far as to not return calls. I know it sounds harsh, but I've had a few where we've continued as friends, and not one had a happy ending.

If you have a hobby, let that be your passion for a while. If nothing else, you'll grow a deeper understanding of that hobby and maybe meet fellow hobbyists. New friends are new friends.


Lee

 

[Miss1933]

Oh dear... there are sometimes in life that we all go through certain things such as these, things happen and as my grandmother would say - "Things happen for a reason, sometimes for the best or for the worst but we should take them as how they are and make the best of the given situation" And the best thing to do is to get busy!!! That helps to clear the mind of unwanted feelings or thoughts, love will come knocking to your door again and this time to stay for good!!

 

[Samsa]

Remember: Living well is the best revenge.

Exactly. I used this approach after my last my breakup - I started going back to the gym, started running again, and started eating healthy. Not only did I get over the breakup, but lost 20-25 pounds. Exercise really does do wonders for one's mental health.

Above all else, though, just keep telling yourself that it will get better with time - it will.

 

[flat-top]

This was me in Feb. '06:
http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=6486
When I look back on this I feel like such a fool, but it was where as was at the time, and when you're THERE, well, it's all encompassing.
I never even loved that person. I loved the idea perhaps, and I certainly didn't want to be alone. I saw from your above post that you're already realizing the same things for yourself.
Trust me (CLICHE ALERT), you WILL look back at this and laugh!

 

[ScionPI2005]

Exercise really does do wonders for one's mental health.

I have to second that. I started a running regiment shortly after my best friend died of cancer. Turning grief, pain, anger or what have you into physical energy and burning it that way is so much better for you than letting it manifest or using it to eat buckets of ice cream. I also ended up losing quite a few pounds after that; and I still try to keep the running up now whenever I have time.

 

[Helen Troy]

I have no good advise, other than this and I know that it might sound stupid to you now. But here it goes:

It will pass. I promise. Sometimes I look back at heartakes that was so awfull then, but now I can hardly remember it. I know that it is impossible to belive right now. But don't try to block the feelings out, let them come and know that it will not last forever. I promise you, it will pass.

Oh, I'm so bad at giving advise. Just hang in there, girl!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Thanks everyone!

Yes, I keep myself busy, I have to due to school (I would prefer something else to keep me busy.... ) And I also have my friends who all tell me how stupid he is and how bad he dressed anyway (he really did....)! how I love them!

Yes, but I don't know, it's not so much about him anymore, it's more this feeling of being lonely I guess what just grows stronger during the holidays.... And all my friends who are at the moment not in relationships (only a few are not) feel the same way too at the moment.

Naama

Honestly, there are some coupled people who are longingly looking at singles, wishing they were free of their partner. (Just watch Lifetime TV lol ) The holidays are a hard time for a lot of people because they feel that their life doesn't match up to the ideals we see on TV, read about in books, see in films, etc.

In my 20's when I was alone during the holidays and feeling heartbroken I'd go to the nursing home where I was volunteering and spend time with some of the lonely people over there. It made their day, and mine, too. Or I'd exercise and preen myself in the mirror thinking what a blind ba***rd he was. lol

As for this fellow who is breaking your heart, I know that my most creative moments have always come from heartbreak and angst. Do you have any creative outlets? I'm a bit of a masochist so I also usually read sad novels or listen to depressing music when I was going through a sad time.

I know this may sound nutty, but during one of my darkest times in my 20's I bought a color-by-number art set and it really helped take my mind off of things.

One other thing...my first boyfriend in college broke my heart in two. THANK GOD. I wept months over that low life. He was so wrong for me I can now see!

I'm sorry you are hurting, but just think of all of those fine fellows out there who are wishing to meet a gal like you!