Love at first sight? What Balloney!!...or, does it really happen?

[Elaina]

I have a hard time talking to people, much less loving them when I meet them. On the same token, I may not be a pretty woman, but I'm never without male company. On that end, no, I don't believe in love at first sight. I do believe in reincarnation (big shock here if you read some of my crazier posts) and I do believe that a "connection" can be made that doesn't make sense to the time you've known them. But for me, it's more or less a "I am comfortable enough to talk to them" or I have nothing to say.

Odd that the greek words for love was mentioned. My husband and I were talking about that when we decided to become romatically involved. We started out in storge due to a common interest, moved to agape because we were starting out friendly-like, were in philla for most of it, since he has been my best friend most of my adult life, and decided that eros was where we were supposed to be. We have now decided that we can no longer define it within one set of words, because we do not fit in any of the classifications. We are friends first and foremost, partners in life, and lovers (the old fashioned term for it) comes secondary to the other parts of our relationship.

My husband and I work very hard on our relationship. We met on the internet, and while we loved each other as was defined above, it wasn't the "I love you forever and want to procreate with you, and will be willing to change my life for you" kind. That only came when we did meet face to face, and pretty much chose to do so. (Not very romantic, I will say.)

Now I can read this and even say "wow that looks harsh and cold" and it's not. It simply transcends what people look at at love, I suppose. I cannot define my feelings for my husband in words, and often while I "love" him, there is so much more tied into the relationship that makes it more fulfilling then JUST love. I love being with him, and occasionally talking to him, I love being his wife, and I'm comfortable with him. He's my strength when I need it, and I could go on, but none of these feelings came except through work, paitence, and commitment on both of our parts to be the best partner we could be.

It also doesn't hurt my husband's cute. lol

 

[GOK]

I know you are, but what am I?

You're a nerd! lol


Actually, I'm sure geek would be more apt in your case!!

 

[Salv]

You're a nerd! lol


Actually, I'm sure geek would be more apt in your case!!

Ummm ... can't deny that really ...

 

[Matt Deckard]

I don't know. Should I believe in love at first sight? I don't think I have ever run into the relationship where... well. Hmmm My parents are stable and unyielding and have been since their marriage in the 60's.

My sister and brothers are all married and stalwarts in their cconviction to their spouses. I'm the holdout. Have I run into those with whom I have loved? yes, though it could be infatuation, and in reality what's the difference. Are there those who I have liked and was too afraid to tell because I was afraid of the mess? Yes and I am shamed to think of the oppertunities I have missed from the shyness that was ingrained in me.

I see the idea of love at first sight being the position of both making the first move then it all flows from that point to whatever outcome which by the term love at first site should be a very long engagement and not a short tryst.

I think Right now I might pass up such first sight oppertunities as I am not in a state to jump into a relationship at the moment so I resist the initiative I once gained when my confidence was in full force. Will women with which I am or have had or will have interest in make a first move for me to show my colors is a highly unlikely scenario as that is not how society usually works.

Right now I am cadding about and if the right woman comes along... My Emma Peel... well I'll be with joy and possibly join the ranks of my sibblings. Until that day, I sit at bay. Then again... Emma Peel wasn't married to John Steed, and those relationships... the Steed Peel type have always been my folly of the past.

The truth is I don't know.
We're all only human you know...


Read the part on my MySpace about who I'd like to meet.




Sitting at Home singing.
Matt.

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Chin up, Matt. Remember when Peter Peel came back? He was just like John Steed.

 

[Fletch]

I've been cipherin' on this.


It can't be just lust.

When I think back in my life, there have been people of both sexes with whom I have felt a very strong personal connection at first meeting. And I am quite certain lust could only have been possibly involved with the ladies in question. lol

So it's possible to feel an immediate sense of kinship with a new person, without lust being involved.

What I like is when I already feel close to a woman this way and then feel it translating into something physical. That's special.

Unfortunately for me, a lot of women don't open up to kinship with a man unless he first satisfies their yearning for a traditional masterful, slightly aloof male. [huh]

 

[BegintheBeguine]

I hate games.
[huh]

 

[Fletch]

Me too. Most of all when I'm getting the message, "I'm interesting, but interesting guys are losers. I need a Man."

 

[Stinchcomb]

I Believe in Love At First Sight

I was at a Black Crows concert at the Fox Theater standing in the beer line. I was 24. I was making my sweep of the room looking for women as any hormone filled young lad would do. I saw this striking tall woman about 5 people behind me in line. We made eye contact and, me being the shy type looked away quickly. Then I took a second look and she was still looking at me. She asked me to wait for her after I made my order. We both agreed there was something about the other, unfortunately we were both there with other dates. After we exchanged phone numbers we started to kiss, but both backed off seeing as we’d only known each other for about 5 minutes. I called her the next day and we dated seriously for nearly 3 years. I was truly in love with her. She was the first girl I had ever dated that I wanted to marry. It ended when I caught her in a lie and found her out with another man. She was my first true love and my first heartbreak. Her name was Rhonda.

So, yes I believe in love at first sight, but love doesn’t always last forever.

 

[reetpleat]

Well, you porbably don't want to end up with her anyway. You may be acting out a pattern of distress and salvation. Some might say it is an old reincarnated pattern that maybe you need to work through somehow. It would be interesting if you did past life regression and discovered some dramatic story about a past life with this person that involved such things. But if that is too woo woo for you, perhaps you could buy that you are working out a pattern that manifests in the metaphysical energy if you will of the modern time. Especially if there are a lot of coincidences or syncrhonicities that bring you together beyond the odds. Or you could just be acting out a pattern between you in your subconscious interaction.

Life with this person would possibly be a constant string of crises and you saving. Or maybe not.

Question is, are you a saver? Do you find this pattern repeating in your life? If not, great. If so, consider what it is in your past that has led you to seek out women who are always getting into trouble.

I don't know how seriously I take all this. I guess I am a pop psychology and parasychology junkie.

Mateo

I know this lady that I always had a deep connection to, a psychic phenomenon even. A thought will come to me, and I either go somewhere, or call her, whatever the case may be, and it is always to rescue her from some predicament. She is like my damsel in distress.
She recently announced she was marrying some guy out of the blue, and it really seems that she has to do so. The hero of the story does not always get the girl!

 

[Stinchcomb]

I believe in the past life thing. I figure souls have to be recycled or the afterlife would be running out of standing room, in layman’s terms. So, yes Rhonda and I might have had some other life together. I’m happily married with kids, and that all happened over 15 years ago, but I always feel as though we should have ended up together. Who knows, maybe in the next life.

That might be what "love at first sight" is, a past love where the souls recognize each other.

 

[Tough Cookie]

Love at first sight happens every day


Love after 40 years is the miracle

Quoted for truth. The longer I'm married, the more awe I feel towards those who stand the test of time--and still enjoy each other's company!

I do believe in "Connection at first sight", but love to me is more than that.

Maybe I believe in "Recognizing Potential for Love at First Sight", but that's not very poetic, is it?

Moulin Rouge is my all-time favorite movie. And I do not believe that either of the main characters fell in love with each other at first sight.
Even though he had an Enormous Talent! lol

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I saw a picture of my husband on THE INTERNET and said "That's the man I'm going to marry" even before we spoke to one another.

He was in London, I'm in NJ. Anybody else I would have forgotten about it, but there was something about him I HAD to get to know.

He moved to the USA and we were married on 01 July 05. I should add that I met him on Live Journal on accident, not through a dating website

 

[Dapper Dan]

I'm rather surprised at how many people here believe in reincarnation. It's not a belief that has much of a history in Western culture. Several years ago, I lived in Thailand, and almost everyone there believed in it in one form or another. People's everyday activities were performed with karmic reincarnation in mind, and it's interesting to see how different beliefs change the way people act.

On an interesting (I think) side note, I would have assumed that a belief in reincarnation based on one's karma would make for a lot more charity and kindness, but in execution, people tended to view the misfortune of another as byproducts of his/her bad karma. Ergo, you weren't necessarily obligated to help them, since they had it coming, to a certain extent. Sorry I went off on the tangent there, but I thought it was a rather interesting one.

 

[Girl Friday]

The Tender Trap

I really didn't care for the plot at all, but dang that song gets stuck in your head!

 

[HadleyH]

Yes it does happen.

First Sight.

]

Love at first sight? Who can argue with that? After seeing that picture, I can honestly say I'm in love! Totally and deeply in love!!!!!

 

[ITG]

Some things to ponder:
Love at first sight, does it have to be mutual to be considered Love at first sight? If it's not mutual, but instead is one-sided, then is it still love at first sight or is it more of an obsession?

Love at first sight, something not so easily defined.

 

[Lady Day]

Some things to ponder:
Love at first sight, does it have to be mutual to be considered Love at first sight? If it's not mutual, but instead is one-sided, then is it still love at first sight or is it more of an obsession?

Love at first sight, something not so easily defined.

I think it can be one sided. What if that person didnt see the other person?

LD

 

[ITG]

But is that still love or obsession(infatuation)?
(I have no idea although I'm leaning toward obsession/infatuation but am enjoying the discussion.)

 

[Lady Day]

But you can love the unknown, and even the concept of a person.

LD