Longtime Loungers...do you think the Lounge has changed a great deal?

[Matt Deckard]

It's not about saying the stuff inherently isn't worthy of its own thread (though much of it isn't), it just makes it easier to help people out if stuff is located in a smaller number of specific threads.

bk

Perhaps we need a section just for discoveries.

 

[Samsa]

I'm all for keeping with the "show us your suits/hats/whatever" model. I've been guilty of starting new threads for new hats (though not too many; I don't have enough hats to have made myself too obnoxious). The benefit to starting new threads for each new hat acquired is that it makes it a little easier to search the archives, especially if one is doing so by brand name. They can just do a post title search for terms like "Stetson" or "Adam."

 

[reetpleat]

Ladies and (Fedora)Gents,

Well, as a new member of the FL, I can tell you my experience, although you may not like it.

I initially came here to ask for information from the Experts about the specifics and details of men's vintage evening clothes. I searched the old threads for answers to my questions and, not finding them sufficiently explained, I started a thread to ask about them. I wasn't exactly deluged with help. In fact, only one person gave me any advice a'tall.

Thinking that perhaps I wasn't playing with the other children correctly, I decided to try and talk about the topics du jour - Vintage towns, vintage partners, vintage lifestyles, threads addressed to members in Europe… I encountered a number of lovely people with whom I enjoyed talking and who seemed to enjoy talking to me, most of whom were New Fish.

After a bit, thinking that I had perhaps shown my budding intent to be part of the board, I decided to try another formalwear question (It’s what I’ve been working on lately). I had a little better luck this time - Several people replied, and all of them, I believe, were New Fish.

"Okay," I said to myself, "Perhaps I need to SHOW my active interest in vintage..." So I posted a number of my recent vintage acquisitions with photographs, the length of which amounted to nearly a page by itself. Four “Alpha Members” of FL, two of whom are specifically named in FedoraGent’s list of founders, talked right around my post, which contained at least 3 or 4 suits from the early 1900s and a number of other items, without even so much as a, "I'm not sure about the year on that one" or a "That suit sucks - you were had!" to be heard. They just went on talking to each other. How can I contribute "quality" content to the board, or know if I’ve done well or ill, if the Experts don’t want to coach a bush-leaguer like me? [huh]

Balmoral boots. Re-weaving. Eveningwear - I tried, but not much luck with the varsity team, overall. So I’ve begun talking to the people who talk to me, about velcro flies and other inconsequential silliness.

If there's been a decline in the quality of the posts, perhaps it's because all of you truly knowledgeable folks naturally found (or founded) this place first, and those of us who know less took longer to find our way through the forest, arriving with a less extensive fund of knowledge, as well.

Think of us as kindergarteners. We come here to learn, but if nobody takes an active interest in our education, don’t be surprised when we go off and paint the walls or eat paste. Telling us to sit down and read the textbook doesn’t mean we won’t pull each other’s hair and talk about our favourite Power Ranger.

I know you didn't sign up to be teachers, but as the Old Guard of FL, that's kind of how you look, at least to me. If you'd rather not, perhaps there should be a "Kids' Table" section of the FL where you can contain us until we've proven we can dress ourselves properly...

In closing this letter, which has very nearly made my head pop off, I’d like to specifically thank Old School members Mr. Hemingway Jones and Miss Neecerie for taking the time to put up with me and trying to answer my stupid questions, and Forgotten Man for simply playing along with a New Fish. If I’ve inadvertently forgotten anyone who has shown me help and kindness in my search for a more vintage life, it is to those people that I tender my most profound apologies.

You may fire when ready.

*lights pipe, adjusts blindfold*

Sincerely,

T.

I am so sorry to hear of your partly negative experience. You seem to be such a natural nad great addition to the board when you came on and have continued to be a great addition.

By way of explanation, it may be that the hardcore enthusiasts reached a burnout point about six months ago, and what was left were the people who liked the community and general discussions, but are not as into the minute details and such. Not that we all don't appreciate them. Most of us don't seem to get as into discussing the details in depth. Maybe we would but we get distracted with the chatting. It was a relatively smal group that really kept the serious minute detail threads going, with the rest chiming in. Those few seem to be taking a break, cutting back, or not posting as much.

Don't for a second think that you were not very appreciated. I would say a fine fellow of you style and personality is just the kind of folks the lounge is about.

One other thing is you may be interested in clothing a little older than the main interest of many members and their knowledge as well. BUt I am sure I am not alone in saying the stretching of the perameters, especially back, is certainly appreciated and welcome.

 

[reetpleat]

I'm not finding vintage clothing and hats anymore (I'm not an e-bay shopper) so I really don't find myself partcipating much in that talk (although I should give some advice on what to look for). I also feel at times that this place is turning into a singles bar.

Perhaps I just don't read those threads as i am single, but not really looking.

But as several threads will attest, it is not so easy to find like minded partners if that is what you want. So if this community can both bring people who share an interest in certain things together for discussion and friendship, and also occasionaly bring people together for love, I have no problem with that. I don't notice anyone bugging anyone or being innapropriate. Which is the problem with a singles bar.

Having had the pleasure of hearing the story of a couple of loungers who are now together, (names witheld for privacy) I say Hooray for love found through the lounge.

 

[reetpleat]

Just a thought. Check out this thread. http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=26063 The new guy was perhaps a bit naive in not realizing the full scope of his questions. But rather than being directed to just read all the past posts which would tak many hours, Cowboy76 was very friendly, gave him a little info to get started, but also let him know that some of his requested info was way too much to answer easily. Good responses like that is what will keep a new person coming back until they are as educated as any of us. So Kudos to Cowboy for such a great response. Others chimed in with bits of advice, none of them feeling they had to spend an hour responding to everything.

We may have just welcomed the boards most distinguished member of 2009. You never know.

 

[Undertow]

The fact is, even since I've been here, this place resembles a dynamic, intellectual society - a Lounge of sorts - of which I enjoy being a part. Sometimes I'm able to contribute, most times I'm not. I'm grateful for the respect I've received over these few months, and I only hope I can show the same to future members.

As a "senior" member of a board out there, I understand the camaraderie between other "veterans" as opposed to the flood-gates-have-opened numbers of new persons that come in everyday.

From my personal experience with other boards, I look at the FL like a bar:

* If you've been there since the doors opened, you're a favorite customer, no matter how many times you post.
* If you've been here a while, and you've gotten to know some people, and you have a good idea how the show runs, you're a regular and for the most part the "In Crowd".
* If you just got here within the last year, you're still new, you don't know all the ropes, you can't simply budge your way into everything. You can't drop a few names and expect to get a free drink.
*Just because you come in everyday doesn't mean we like you, it means you're a drunk.

Eh, I don't know. It's like anything else - it takes time. If you want to be one of the hallowed members, if there even is such a thing, it takes time.

I enjoy this place for what it is, not for what I think it should be. [huh]

 

[carter]

Undertow, That was well said! :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :cheers1: :fedora:

 

[M Tatterscratch]

From my personal experience with other boards, I look at the FL like a bar:

* If you've been there since the doors opened, you're a favorite customer, no matter how many times you post.
* If you've been here a while, and you've gotten to know some people, and you have a good idea how the show runs, you're a regular and for the most part the "In Crowd".
* If you just got here within the last year, you're still new, you don't know all the ropes, you can't simply budge your way into everything. You can't drop a few names and expect to get a free drink.

Eh, I don't know. It's like anything else - it takes time. If you want to be one of the hallowed members, if there even is such a thing, it takes time.

Mr. Undertow,

I understand completely, but I’d also hope that if a new person (anyone, not necessarily my own vain self) comes into a bar regularly, buys rounds for the house, gives members who have had too much to wear – er, I mean, to drink - a ride home, takes pains to give a sympathetic ear to Mabel the Barmaid and her floundering marriage, and generally tries to be a friendly, useful, and entertaining member of said bar, that the old-timers may say, “Gee, this kid has really taken the old firetrap to heart – Let’s warn him not to ask Joe the Owner’s Son about his stutter…”

I don’t think anybody’s asking for the keys to the door, or even a barstool. We just don’t want to have to stand there for thirty minutes before the bartender takes our order.

*Just because you come in everyday doesn't mean we like you, it means you're a drunk.

Then get together and tell me to sod off, or at least tell me what time it is. I’m not thirsty – I’m here for the atmosphere.

It’s a long way to Tipperary between Hallowed and Acknowledged. [huh]

Tie Bar-fly,

T.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

takes pains to give a sympathetic ear to Mabel the Barmaid and her floundering marriage,




T.

Now just you wait a minute...I don't have a floundering marriage...honest gov!

 

[Feraud]

I don't know how much I've really contributed, but I know that I'm having fun with all of this.

I think you have contributed plenty, and your attitude about having fun is a healthy one.

 

[M Tatterscratch]

Ladies and Gents,

Well, I have to say you’re by far the most mannerly groups of folks I’ve met on the ‘net. Don’t let my explosion throw you – Overall I’ve had a lot of fun here, but I feel like I’d be ducking my head if I didn’t mention how I’ve felt from time to time, or how I imagine others have felt.

First of all, thanks for the kind words, ReetPleat! I saw the thread you linked, and remarked to myself how nice everyone was to the young chap. I’m not likely to go anywhere unless people start throwing rocks. I know some of my vintage interest falls early, but hopefully I’ll end up contributing something with it…

Heck, Staggerwing, I killed my own Vintage Goth thread deader than a doornail by mentioning I heard Goth undertones in a Three Dog Night song – Talk about blowing up!

Howdy, Dutchess! Thanks for the assist in the courage department. I was scared witless while writing my initial post in this thread.

Wingnut, thanks for sparing my tie. You’re a gent.

I’m with you, luvthatlulu, when it comes to sartorial anxiety. I still have nightmares about the time when I once wore a Morning Coat in the evening. I suffered agonies last Friday over the length of my formal waistcoat, all for a crowd of drunken (but much-beloved) Germans who wouldn’t know a waistcoat from a straitjacket.

I understand, Mssrs. Deckard and Spitfire. Thanks for encouraging us to speak up, and smashing idea about the Unanswered Thread flag. And hey, by chance I JUST found out where to get a vintage oven today! One out of six ain’t… ain’t… well, it ain’t None.

Maybe people would socialize as well as we do if there were MORE topic restrictions in the real world, Ms. Hell, although I know that’s a dangerous thing to wish for. I, for one, have enjoyed socializing here because the number of people I know who see the world this way are fairly few.

I always enjoy seeing your wardrobe, Dinerman. Thought of you tonight when I put on my derby, actually. I’d gladly post more photographs myself if I had my camera with me. When I get back to the States (as it appears I’ll do for three months in the New Year), I’ll post all kinds of “why did they make it this way?” and “what’s wrong with these trousers?” questions.

Congrats on the book, Ms. Hepkitten. Herculean undertaking.

Baron and Ms. Neecerie, I imagine that those who post won Ebay auctions are suffering from “good buy/bad buy syndrome and just want a little reassurance, or at least want the bad news broken to them by someone who knows.

A lot of my experiments are in the offing now – Otsuka bal boots, three-piece frock in the hands of a German tailor, grey 30’s suit w/ a worn knee at Zotta’s in NYC, etc. etc., but when they come to fruition, I hope to contribute something tangible to the Lounge.

Don't ask me why I felt like replying to so many people individually in this post. I guess I'm just glad to have my head still attached to my neck. Thanks for not flaming me like a Salem witch (so far)...

(POSTSCRIPT - The Salem Witches were hanged. 6AM. Brain dumb. Knew that. Duh. See? Hung up on correctness. Tsk.)

T.

 

[Miss 1929]

I think you're fabulous...

Mr. Undertow,

I understand completely, but I’d also hope that if a new person (anyone, not necessarily my own vain self) comes into a bar regularly, buys rounds for the house, gives members who have had too much to wear – er, I mean, to drink - a ride home, takes pains to give a sympathetic ear to Mabel the Barmaid and her floundering marriage, and generally tries to be a friendly, useful, and entertaining member of said bar, that the old-timers may say, “Gee, this kid has really taken the old firetrap to heart – Let’s warn him not to ask Joe the Owner’s Son about his stutter…”

I don’t think anybody’s asking for the keys to the door, or even a barstool. We just don’t want to have to stand there for thirty minutes before the bartender takes our order.



Then get together and tell me to sod off, or at least tell me what time it is. I’m not thirsty – I’m here for the atmosphere.

It’s a long way to Tipperary between Hallowed and Acknowledged. [huh]

Tie Bar-fly,

T.

But as another newbie, what do I know?

I felt too as if every thread I tried to post was smacked down with a "been there - done that" kind of feeling - it is so true that without the facial expression and such, the written word seems rather terse. I am trying not to take it personally. And I have pretty much given up starting threads except for events.

 

[M Tatterscratch]

Now just you wait a minute...I don't have a floundering marriage...honest gov!

No, I meant some other bar, not this one, I swear!

Mmm, size 7...

T.

 

[Miss Brill]

I thought The Observation Bar was what other forums call the "off topic" or life lounge. The one where people meet & greet and talk about personal (or even non-serious) topics that do not relate to the subject of the forum's main title. I've never seen a forum that didn't have such a lounge, and it is almost always the one that gets the most posts.

 

[FedoraGent]

Again...

Again, Ada Veen, my goal was NOT to alienate new Loungers. New Loungers are great. For instance, Miss 1929, Jovan, Katie Brookes and many others. My goal was to get us to start thinking about the Lounge and our discussions. I knew that this subject would incite a lot of hard feelings. But it did what it was supposed to...brought people to the table to talk about this great place and how we can make it better. Throughout the day from work, I kept on reading the posts with my Blackberry (yes the Lounge looks good on mobile devices). I think Paddy did put it very well, and so did Hem and Neecerie.

If I offended new folks, please know that it wasn't my intention.

FG.

Just to stand up for myself and other people who joined in the last year, I don't think it's fair to suggest that we pay less attention to detail or have less of an interest in vintage. Here, for example, are some recent threads by 'newbies' that I think fulfill the criteria you gave to the older threads:

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=25994
http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=15370
http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=26068

And there are some threads similar to the ones you don't like which are started by longer-standing members:

http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=19230

I'm not saying this to start an argument, and I respect your opinion as a long time member, just, as a more recent joiner, I feel a little like I am part of the changes you dislike, so offer this simply as a defense. I would hate to feel that I, and other newbies like me, are 'spoiling' the lounge for our forebears.

 

[HungaryTom]

7000+ members

That is a lot-the Lounge has changed.

I agree with following points: you could always learn at the lounge.

Since there are (were) so many people you can not expect to be greeted by all - some DO this favour to each newbie - gentle words of greeting and encouragement for people who decide to stop the lurking.

Redpop, RBH, Marc Chevalier did at least that for me - all of them were old fellows.

Each beginning is hard-after a while posting gets fun.

Anyone finds here alike people discussions are depending on what one invests in the posts. And it turns out that any topic reveals quickly how members think about other things in life associative power.

Also I find that the stereotype of ignorant and under educated Americans is simply false: there are great minds here!

Also another cliché is fallen; that Fedora wearing people are old fashioned and boring - I found here a lot of interesting and creative people -of all age groups- this is a priceless thing!

I like that many loungers play the game with 'opened helmets' they post their faces: this obliges to a certain level.

As always one gets back what one puts in. There will be always people who put more brainwork in their posts others do not that much. But nobody can post all the time substantial things, there are times for fun leisure and simply more relaxed approach.

Politics banned: it is helpful sometimes it is restrictive: the borders must be drawn. I think bartenders do here mostly a good job - they stop discussions even with political undertones only after a while: before the niveau begins to sink to the bottom people going to ad hominem and telling who is the more stupid.

Things to be improved:
Introducing search fucntions like search for ANY of the terms or ALL of the terms should be introduced.

Once more I am more than delighted to have found some GREAT people here at FL.
Regards:

Tom

 

[carter]

Again, Ada Veen, my goal was NOT to alienate new Loungers. New Loungers are great. For instance, Miss 1929, Jovan, Katie Brookes and many others. My goal was to get us to start thinking about the Lounge and our discussions. I knew that this subject would incite a lot of hard feelings. But it did what it was supposed to...brought people to the table to talk about this great place and how we can make it better. Throughout the day from work, I kept on reading the posts with my Blackberry (yes the Lounge looks good on mobile devices). I think Paddy did put it very well, and so did Hem and Neecerie.
If I offended new folks, please know that it wasn't my intention.
FG.

I have come back to this thread repeatedly all day and refrained from posting any response. However, I believe the three sentences highlighted in red above do deserve a response.

I fail to understand how someone can write "I knew that this subject would incite a lot of hard feelings" and "If I offended new folks, please know that it wasn't my intention." in the same post and expect that to make sense. If the intent was not to offend "new folks", why was this posted in a public forum?

And, why is there the implication [above] that we need to be brought "to the table to talk about this great place and how we can make it better"? I, for one, see a lot of excellent discussion done in a polite and mutually-respectful manner in most of the posts by over seven thousand members in hundreds of threads. Perhaps it would be better to start a thread about whatever it is that you would like to see that doesn't currently exist.

I particularly appreciate the "new folks" who have responded, [even though they were not invited to] and taken the high road in doing so.

FedoraGent, I agree with you. I hope all who were offended will accept that you did not intend to be offensive.

In this season, gentility and grace, for which the Fedora Lounge is known, would seem to be in order for all of us.

 

[FedoraGent]

I'd wondered where you'd gone, thanks for chiming in!

FG.

That is a lot-the Lounge has changed.

I agree with following points: you could always learn at the lounge.

Since there are (were) so many people you can not expect to be greeted by all - some DO this favour to each newbie - gentle words of greeting and encouragement for people who decide to stop the lurking.

Redpop, RBH, Marc Chevalier did at least that for me - all of them were old fellows.

Each beginning is hard-after a while posting gets fun.

Anyone finds here alike people discussions are depending on what one invests in the posts. And it turns out that any topic reveals quickly how members think about other things in life associative power.

Also I find that the stereotype of ignorant and under educated Americans is simply false: there are great minds here!

Also another clich?© is fallen; that Fedora wearing people are old fashioned and boring - I found here a lot of interesting and creative people -of all age groups- this is a priceless thing!

I like that many loungers play the game with 'opened helmets' they post their faces: this obliges to a certain level.

As always one gets back what one puts in. There will be always people who put more brainwork in their posts others do not that much. But nobody can post all the time substantial things, there are times for fun leisure and simply more relaxed approach.

Politics banned: it is helpful sometimes it is restrictive: the borders must be drawn. I think bartenders do here mostly a good job - they stop discussions even with political undertones only after a while: before the niveau begins to sink to the bottom people going to ad hominem and telling who is the more stupid.

Things to be improved:
Introducing search fucntions like search for ANY of the terms or ALL of the terms should be introduced.

Once more I am more than delighted to have found some GREAT people here at FL.
Regards:

Tom

 

[Sefton]

Speaking as an "Alpha Lounger" (pounds chest,grabs vine and swings into the foliage) I felt quite intimidated at first. The members who had been here from the begining were (and are) a smart and sharp witted bunch. Many of the new members also have these qualities which is what keeps this place interesting for me. I hope I've not turned into a "hey,you kids get off my virtual lawn" Mr.Moldy Fig or a "I'm only interested in the Golden Era of the Golden Era" type. The whole process of having these 'discussions' is unnatural in a way. Or so it seems to someone who grew up in a world before the PC became an ordinary part of life. People talk around my posts still. I don't take it seriously,I just assume that I must have written something again that makes me look like an ass. The only thing that's changed is now I'm a senior ass. Oh,wait a minute...wasn't this thread about something else? (Sorry FG,just kidding! )

 

[reetpleat]

But as another newbie, what do I know?

I felt too as if every thread I tried to post was smacked down with a "been there - done that" kind of feeling - it is so true that without the facial expression and such, the written word seems rather terse. I am trying not to take it personally. And I have pretty much given up starting threads except for events.

While a newbie to the forum perhaps, as someone who knows who you are from way back (we have met once or twice and I know who you are by reputation and events, although you may not really know me) I can assure you and anyone else who may care, you are cetainly no newbie and are a most deserving and welcome member on this board.