Life In the Penthouse-Look At ME!

[koopkooper]

Every now and then in life you get a glimpse of what people really think of you when they slip up and make an assumption. Recently I was at a BBQ and a relative mentioned a fifties Caddy that she spotted on a recent road trip. She then made a comment that people who drive those types of cars clearly enjoy being looked at. Now this person has known me for a long time, knows how I dress, knows that I too drive a classic car and ….quite obviously thinks that I am looking for some kind of validation by having people look at me.

I quickly put her straight that I drive a classic car because I enjoy having a classic vehicle and enjoy the driving experience, that I am a motoring enthusiast and that if I really wanted to drive a car for attention then I would buy a car that was twenty five times more fuel economic and reliable, one that had air-conditioning and modern suspension and safety features.


It got me thinking, I guess some people who see me driving down Sydney’s freeways might think I am some kind of narcissistic poser, which offcourse I am not, well not completely.

Living a vintage lifestyle can cause people to come to incorrect conclusions about you and your life. Several years ago I worked at a radio station that unconsciously decided that, based on my appearance, I wouldn’t be able to program the music for their top forty radio station.

It wasn’t until I explained my experience and qualifications to be their Music Director did they figure they should give me a chance at the role.

They acted pleasantly surprised when they discovered that I was good at my job.

Is the point of this article that Vintage lifestyle people have to work harder? Is there a vintage glass ceiling? Well no that would be just crazy, my point is that one should be aware that sometimes your appearance will convince people that you are a certain way and often there is no way you can convince them otherwise.

I know that sometimes I forget that I am a complete enigma to people.

They just can’t get past a fifties style swept back quiff or a forties style pencil moustache, I guess when you don’t look like the average man then questions need to be asked. I’ve even come across blatant hostility simply because I dared to rebel against societal norms by dressing differently.

Do I care? Should you care, well no, not at all, but certainly be aware.

 

[kpreed]

I Totally agree with you on this, so many times I hear "great tie or nice hat" or a pleasent comment on how good I look, then followed quickly by some lame reason why their partner looks like they do (he never wears a tie because it chokes him). But me being in a wheelchair (not by choice) it will get me seen anyway, so I say "why not look good" so at least they have some not dressed poorly disabled person to look at anyway . I always say "when I am dead, I can not pick my clothes" I say dress and look like you want, they are the folks with the problem really. Just my 2¢.
P.S I have always driven (back when) pre1960 autos, did I do it for attention ? No, it was what I had.

 

[C-dot]

I know what you mean, koopkooper. I get many comments, almost always nice, on my vintage look, but the "attention seeker" assumptions come from the white streak in my hair. It's not artificial: That part grows gray from a condition called poliosis, and it just needs a bit of peroxide to turn white. I dislike the gray, but I like that its distinctive, so I keep it with a slight enhancement.

People assume that I dye it in to go with my vintage style, which I understand, but when I tell them its natural, they don't tend to believe me. When I worked as a make-up artist at Sephora, one lady kept questioning me about it, and ended up saying "you know, you don't have to lie to me." [huh] It can also lead people like employers to think I'm a bit outlandish or vain, and they're utterly charmed when they realize I'm not.

And about the classic car - If I saw you in it, I would be too filled with awe to assume it was just a status symbol. I wish I drove one, just for the quality and aesthetic enjoyment! People who don't share the affinity don't understand where you're coming from.

 

[sheeplady]

Assumptions I have had made about me, mainly because how I dress:
1. I am a deeply religious conservative Christian
2. I am a prude, particularly about sex
3. I am politically and socially conservative
4. I do not drink
5. I do not smoke/ have never/ would never think of it!
6. I don't dance (see conservative religion point)
7. I don't like to get my hands dirty or can't lift things or play sports
8. I absolutely don't like technology
9. Deep down I have a desire to be housewife and/or I am not serious about my job (note: these people seem to think being a housewife is not a valid life choice)
10. I hate feminism. (Or desire enslavement of women in the kitchen. Or something like that.)
11. I come from money.
12. And the most irritating: I'm dumb/ slightly stupid. In particular, I have no street smarts. Sometimes, though, I'm just assumed to be dumb in general.

These are all untrue. (Or at least I don't think I'm dumb, I suppose that is the only one open to interpretation .) How I found out about most of these is people without much tack will say something like "Oh, I always thought you were stupid until I actually spoke with you." or "You drink? Really? Is that real alcohol in there? No it's not a drink."

Although my favorite ones are by random people who walk up to me and say something like "You really want to go back to the times when they locked all the women in the kitchen?!?"

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Hmmm... 3,4 & 5 sounds like me and I don't even dress vintage at present. lol

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Assumptions I have had made about me, mainly because how I dress:
1. I am a deeply religious conservative Christian
2. I am a prude, particularly about sex
3. I am politically and socially conservative
4. I do not drink
5. I do not smoke/ have never/ would never think of it!
6. I don't dance (see conservative religion point)
7. I don't like to get my hands dirty or can't lift things or play sports
8. I absolutely don't like technology
9. Deep down I have a desire to be housewife and/or I am not serious about my job (note: these people seem to think being a housewife is not a valid life choice)
10. I hate feminism. (Or desire enslavement of women in the kitchen. Or something like that.)
11. I come from money.
12. And the most irritating: I'm dumb/ slightly stupid. In particular, I have no street smarts. Sometimes, though, I'm just assumed to be dumb in general.

These are all untrue. (Or at least I don't think I'm dumb, I suppose that is the only one open to interpretation .) How I found out about most of these is people without much tack will say something like "Oh, I always thought you were stupid until I actually spoke with you." or "You drink? Really? Is that real alcohol in there? No it's not a drink."

Although my favorite ones are by random people who walk up to me and say something like "You really want to go back to the times when they locked all the women in the kitchen?!?"

I can totally understand what you and everyone else has already made mention of. I say this with a sincere positive viewpoint to you as a person, some of the list of things you state that people may "presume" about you are in actuality a standard of quality of ethics and values. Even if you do not think they apply to you, to some degree they would be considered a compliment of someone directed them towards me...and I would welcome them all the way. I do not think I mind that if I dress in a "killer look" wearing a clean suit, hat, shoes, tie, if people are going to tune in with a telescope to observe me in passing or even make a comment either positive or negative about my appearance. I have fun in what I dress like and how I feel. And that is my final answer my story and I am gonna stick to it!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

I Totally agree with you on this, so many times I hear "great tie or nice hat" or a pleasent comment on how good I look, then followed quickly by some lame reason why their partner looks like they do (he never wears a tie because it chokes him). But me being in a wheelchair (not by choice) it will get me seen anyway, so I say "why not look good" so at least they have some not dressed poorly disabled person to look at anyway . I always say "when I am dead, I can not pick my clothes" I say dress and look like you want, they are the folks with the problem really. Just my 2¢.
P.S I have always driven (back when) pre1960 autos, did I do it for attention ? No, it was what I had.

I am not going to ask what takes you into the chair, I have been there myself a few times and lately was in the chair due to the factors of medical health, I have M.S. but have been out of the chair for a while and with what goes on in my life health wise, I am confident I will not have to wheel around any more. I think for myself, I was so far from even thinking about how I looked wheeling, due to worry about what was going to happen medically. So if you are already advanced enough to think about fashion in your inner self, you are miles ahead of the norm and I sure give you miles of respect for that one!

 

[LizzieMaine]

I'd like to have a nickel for everyone who thinks I'm a Mennonite, just because I wear my hair up under a kerchief most of the time.

I've never gotten the "you must be a delicate flower" routine though, probably because my arms and hands are covered with the sort of scars you only get from honest labor. And after looking at my arms, nobody *dares* to give me the "you must want all women to be locked in the kitchen" business.

There are also assumptions that I must support certain modern-era politico-religious movements, which I most certainly don't. I was born a New Dealer, and I'll die one.

My favorite Unwarranted Assumption came at the theatre a few years ago when we were showing some extremely patronizing documentary about "what it's like to be working class." A cashmere-sweatered patron came up to me as I was emptying the garbage cans in the lobby and gushed "wow, it must be quite a thrill for you to see a movie like this, huh?" "Yeah," I said, "almost as thrilling as when I published my first book."

 

[Yeps]

Well, I do like being the center of attention. I am a youngest child, and a tenor, so it just kind of goes with the territory.

Also, being around a foot taller than most people (well, at least 6-8 inches) I get stared at anyway. Like kpreed said, although slightly less dramatic, people stare at me anyway, I might as well give them a show.

As to why it is vintage, well, I just prefer the style of the first half of the century. I do have a rather slim fitting Italian style suit which very much fits modern style, and it is actually my favorite suit. That does not mean I won't dress it up with a fedora though. Also, hats are very practical, and really cool.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Well, I do like being the center of attention. I am a youngest child, and a tenor, so it just kind of goes with the territory.

Also, being around a foot taller than most people (well, at least 6-8 inches) I get stared at anyway. Like kpreed said, although slightly less dramatic, people stare at me anyway, I might as well give them a show.

As to why it is vintage, well, I just prefer the style of the first half of the century. I do have a rather slim fitting Italian style suit which very much fits modern style, and it is actually my favorite suit. That does not mean I won't dress it up with a fedora though. Also, hats are very practical, and really cool.

In the view of all you say I can sense you enjoy what you are up to, and for all the best, enjoying life is where it is at!

 

[kpreed]

F.Y.I, I tell everybody who asks why I am in a wheelchair, with no problem. I have "Ataxia" and no it is not a foreign taxi.(from the view from the U.S.A.) I got sick in my forties. Now, my home business is most things vintage.

 

[Tatum]

I'm sure most of us have gotten some kind of bizarre assumption made about us due to vintage style. This thread reminds me of the "Comments You Get" thread in the Powder Room, just more general.

I've certainly gotten the "kept wife" attitude from people. It probably doesn't help that I am self employed so I appear to have a totally open schedule.

People are silly in general. Many treat life as a competition, and look down on those of us who do things a bit differently. I just try not to let it affect me and how I want to do things. I also don't normally associate with the kind of people who make such assumptions.

OT: kpreed, where in Colorado, if I may inquire? I spent a few years in Summit County and miss it dearly.

 

[sheeplady]

Hmmm... 3,4 & 5 sounds like me and I don't even dress vintage at present. lol

Oh, at one time I didn't drink, I don't smoke now (I did a bit and I'm not offended by smokers). I don't drink at work functions, so when someone finally sees me with a drink in my hand, it is a shock. Their reactions amuse me greatly.

I can totally understand what you and everyone else has already made mention of. I say this with a sincere positive viewpoint to you as a person, some of the list of things you state that people may "presume" about you are in actuality a standard of quality of ethics and values. Even if you do not think they apply to you, to some degree they would be considered a compliment of someone directed them towards me...and I would welcome them all the way.

I understand what you are saying. I think it is quite nice to be judged as a nice and moral person, and I've met many nice people who meet some of those descriptions. And in my list I didn't mean to equate all those things as being similar, it's just a random list of the top things that come to mind. Sadly, how I normally find out about these assumptions is most often from someone who is generally dismissive about people who would match these descriptions. As in, "I'm glad you're not one of those _deragatory term_."

Obviously that shows these people are *not nice people* but I had already kind of figured that out by the way that they treated me previously.

 

[rue]

The funniest comment I get is.... "oh you must not know how to do this" when it comes to things like computers. I guess because I wear an apron it makes me a moron lol

As far as the old car thing... I drive a 51 chevy truck because I love him, not because I want weird old men to come up and ask me questions. Quite frankly it makes me nervous and I want to drive away quickly!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

F.Y.I, I tell everybody who asks why I am in a wheelchair, with no problem. I have "Ataxia" and no it is not a foreign taxi.(from the view from the U.S.A.) I got sick in my forties. Now, my home business is most things vintage.

Thank you for letting me know all of that about you. I have had some really horrid things come about from having MS but was lucky as a 5 dollar bill at the carnival to have a great team of support from friends in the USA and a few over the pond, to come up with the best and newest medical treatment and I am up, out, and going real well now.


The vintage thing for me is not too serious, and I really think it is more a state of mind and feeling connected to something I review as having a better quality and sense of fun, morality, ethics and family past living together as a family and enjoying it all. I like most of the look of vintage items and clothing and would rather have the "here and now" be back in the time frame of at least the early fifties....I cannot totally say that this is 100 percent all of the time, but I just have some small observation that people in the day back then, had more honesty, personality and out going....I don't see many people stopping me today and asking personal small talk type things such as do you need any help doing something, if so give me a call....and I have to admit that as a child I hated Frank singing a song and would not want to listen to Louis Armstrong...but now....lord have mercy I miss em' being on the radio or some 7 pm show on T.V. And we already know why I find this feeling....it is because things today sort of "stink" compared to those days...we had life, spirit, neighbors could say hello without fear of being shot or having the news roll up and wanting to get a "close up" of a tree limb having fallen from a storm....life was simple and laid back.

 

[kpreed]

OT: kpreed, where in Colorado, if I may inquire? I spent a few years in Summit County and miss it dearly.

I am in Gilpin County, right next door to Summit.

 

[W-D Forties]

Back to the car: it takes a certain dedication to drive a true vintage car. They can be tempremental and not always quite as reliable as a modern one, but they have character, as do (most) of the people who drive them.

Now, if I see a man (and lets face it, it's usually a man) in a souped up, flashy, modern sports car, or humungous SUV (when they clearly don't use it for work or live on a farm), I do make assumptions. I think they are compensating for something....

 

[Bruce Wayne]

I personally like the assumptions that have been made about me in the hats section of the Lounge whe i said I prefer dark coloured, wide brimed fedoras & some members asked if I was of a conservative Jewish background.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

People assume a lot of these about me, many are correct, I will say, except the housewife stuff, of course lol. My views coincide with my appearance, for the most part. However, I do know a lot about technology, which shocks people. I used to sell electronics, and am computer savvy, as well. It blows peoples' minds. They think if it ain't tube-driven, I can't conquer it.

On old cars, I have had tons of old cars, in the four years I've been driving. People gush over my Mercury Station Wagon like it's some big vintage thing. It's new compared to most vehicles I've owned. I drive it because I like the user-friendly maintenance, the way it looks, and the fact that it hearkens back to an era of family oriented, hard-working folks.

People don't usually think I'm stupid, except for those who think I'm a hillbilly. Most people think I'm an intellectual. I speak my mind though, especially about politics and religion. Those are subject that will get you cornered fast, so I've done my homework. People usually think I'm in, or went to college.

Assumptions I have had made about me, mainly because how I dress:
1. I am a deeply religious conservative Christian
2. I am a prude, particularly about sex
3. I am politically and socially conservative
4. I do not drink
5. I do not smoke/ have never/ would never think of it!
6. I don't dance (see conservative religion point)
7. I don't like to get my hands dirty or can't lift things or play sports
8. I absolutely don't like technology
9. Deep down I have a desire to be housewife and/or I am not serious about my job (note: these people seem to think being a housewife is not a valid life choice)
10. I hate feminism. (Or desire enslavement of women in the kitchen. Or something like that.)
11. I come from money.
12. And the most irritating: I'm dumb/ slightly stupid. In particular, I have no street smarts. Sometimes, though, I'm just assumed to be dumb in general.

These are all untrue. (Or at least I don't think I'm dumb, I suppose that is the only one open to interpretation .) How I found out about most of these is people without much tack will say something like "Oh, I always thought you were stupid until I actually spoke with you." or "You drink? Really? Is that real alcohol in there? No it's not a drink."

Although my favorite ones are by random people who walk up to me and say something like "You really want to go back to the times when they locked all the women in the kitchen?!?"

 

[kamikat]

I get this all the time. I really bothers me when people assume I'm politically or socially conservative. I come from a long line of Democratic party movers and shakers and my husband is a progressive not-for-profit activist (The New America Foundation). I'm very proud of my liberalism and view it as an insult to be called conservative or Republican.

Assumptions I have had made about me, mainly because how I dress:
1. I am a deeply religious conservative Christian
2. I am a prude, particularly about sex
3. I am politically and socially conservative
4. I do not drink
5. I do not smoke/ have never/ would never think of it!
6. I don't dance (see conservative religion point)
7. I don't like to get my hands dirty or can't lift things or play sports
8. I absolutely don't like technology
9. Deep down I have a desire to be housewife and/or I am not serious about my job (note: these people seem to think being a housewife is not a valid life choice)
10. I hate feminism. (Or desire enslavement of women in the kitchen. Or something like that.)
11. I come from money.
12. And the most irritating: I'm dumb/ slightly stupid. In particular, I have no street smarts. Sometimes, though, I'm just assumed to be dumb in general.

These are all untrue. (Or at least I don't think I'm dumb, I suppose that is the only one open to interpretation .) How I found out about most of these is people without much tack will say something like "Oh, I always thought you were stupid until I actually spoke with you." or "You drink? Really? Is that real alcohol in there? No it's not a drink."

Although my favorite ones are by random people who walk up to me and say something like "You really want to go back to the times when they locked all the women in the kitchen?!?"