Ladies, what is the ideal male for you?

[DaisieWilde]

If I can't live with someone as they are, I'm not going to try to change them. Just let them be as they are, and if as they isn't right for you, let it be. I absolutely HATE when people try to change others. I'd rather live alone and have great friends. Than live with someone who will never understand that hidden resentment.

Well said! Great words to live by. I spent part of my marriage trying to change him, and ended up changing myself (not for the better) in the process.

 

[Edward]

I can't speak for all women, but personally, when I see a woman with a noticeably shorter man, be it a couple on the street or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, I think to myself that they look utterly ridiculous, and I have no desire to be the object of (my own) ridicule. I suppose it goes along with being tall all your life, most of my female friends are significantly shorter than me and I tend to crouch in group shots so I don't stick out as I think that looks silly too. Personal aesthetics I guess! Part of it may be a subconscious desire to be with a man who can be a protector, like a primal instinct type thing, and a skinny weedy short bloke wouldn't be up to the job! lol But I know plenty of girls who like weedy indie boys so that is also not something that applies to all women!

What I think is that it just doesn´t look right for the ladies when they are walking hand in hand with someone who is shorter than they are. They may not feel right, or maybe even embarassed.

I suppose it must be an aesthetic thing (with, as Fleur mentions, the possibility of some evolutionary throwback thinking).... It's never made any sense to me at all - I mean, really.... unless you're very much taller than the average and you'r dating Verne Troy - but then aesthetics are a ver personal thing, and I'm sure there are plenty of folks out there who would be equally dumbfounded by my complete aversion to sun tans.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

People searching for -ideal- will always be dissapointed.

People searching for compatible, that's a better plan.

 

[Caity Lynn]

Heya, that height thing goes both ways. I'm 5'8" and I've had a guy refuse to go to homecoming with me because with heels I was taller than him. I've also had shorter guys insult my heels simply because they made me taller than them.

As a tall person I'm rather strange , If a guy is over 6' 1" they make me NERVOUS. I may know their the sweetest guy in the world but they freak me out because I'm not used to people towering over me, I have to force myself to be ok with it. I think it's because I'm so sued to taking care of myself and being used to people not messing with me, that if they decided they wanted to, I would be powerless (not that shorter guys aren't already stranger than me) to stop them. It's just a mind game.

along those lines. I think a lot of taller girls don't want to appear manly, We're often mislabeled as nasty or macho because of our height (at least the ones of us who aren't stick thin) so when a guy is shorter it makes us self conscious about how we look.

I really don't consider shorter guys [huh] so If I ever decide to give up that cottage, I think my chances are decent at finding a guy who is at least 5'9", the shorter girls can have the shorter men.

 

[DameIniquitous]

I'm lucky, I have my ideal man, we met at universityand we;ve been dating for a few years now.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Dress sense is one thing that one can usually at least gently prod the chap in the general direction of, but even then you might have a fight on your hands!

Funny. My wife says that I dress too well, and is increasingly unhappy about it. She's the casual type -- and since arriving to the U.S. from Chile, has become even more casual.


Her own style doesn't bother me a bit. Sadly, the opposite is true.

.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

oh yeah, and he has to know what he's doing. :whistling you know what I mean, I figured someone had to say it.

Someone already did, thank goodness. (See below.)

Good in bed.

lol

Goes without saying, yes?


.

 

[tuppence]

I think the ideal one is the one that you can't live without...

in my case...

Musical, wears vintage. can fix anything, cooks beautifully, honest, hard-working, faithful, funny, smart, sexy, exotic, polite, leftist, original, and all that!

17 years of wedded bliss.

Please send him over, we need him to give lessons to Aussie men.

I'd just settle for one that showers daily!

 

[tempestbella42]

.

"Male" can include, say, a Labrador retriever of the masculine persuasion. (Some find it the superior companion.)


.

great thread....ive looked through and agree with it all, like tuppence after my last fella, a shower a day would be a bonus...[huh] taller nice but not essential!
As for all the other qualities ive got 90% of them in my Jack russell called Monty! so totally understand where Marcs coming from asking this!

 

[jtcarrey]

The man God wants for me...

 

[irb]

If I could bend the question away from the ladies for a moment (don't worry, I'll give it back *grin*), I'd like to interject something from the perspective of a man asking the question. It has been my experience that men will hold the women they date to a sort of "secret standard" against which they're judged. Height, various measurements, intelligence (too much or too little), style, assertiveness (or lack thereof), taste in hats, what have you. I can, if you fine folks will permit a bit of overzealous honesty, admit to doing this myself; having dated some phenomenal women who didn't, in one way or another, spark whatever enthusiasm I was looking for. I really don't know if it's something inherent in the male psyche or not; I do think that if men, or the men who think of potential mates in terms of "ideal" (myself included), could better find that balance between having standards and having an Ideal, a lot of people would be a lot happier.

However, asking the question in a more trivial sense, on par with "what are your favorite golden era actors" &c. is a different matter entirely. Anyway, I think I've overdone it a bit, so I'll return you all to your regularly scheduled thread. *grin*

 

[Viola]

My guy is 16 inches taller than me. People DO crack jokes, but I guess we just didn't get the whole shorter-women-take-the-shorter-guys memo.

I did have a (long gone, naturally) guy I used to date who was seemingly embarrassed by my height. I'm five feet tall, even, and I was once SENT BACK IN THE HOUSE to put on shoes with higher heels because "I ain't takin' you out lookin' like no midget." [huh] I...I really don't know what I was thinking at 17, for SO MANY reasons!.

 

[Barbigirl]

Heartily agree

I can't speak for all women, but personally, when I see a woman with a noticeably shorter man, be it a couple on the street or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, I think to myself that they look utterly ridiculous, and I have no desire to be the object of (my own) ridicule. I suppose it goes along with being tall all your life, most of my female friends are significantly shorter than me and I tend to crouch in group shots so I don't stick out as I think that looks silly too. Personal aesthetics I guess! Part of it may be a subconscious desire to be with a man who can be a protector, like a primal instinct type thing, and a skinny weedy short bloke wouldn't be up to the job! lol But I know plenty of girls who like weedy indie boys so that is also not something that applies to all women!

I cannot agree with you more about tall men, being tall I have never been able to look at a man even just an inch or two taller than me and find him attractive like my Ideal One. At one point I tried dating someone very close in height but just like the female friends I always scrunched down as well. It was a perpetual secret pet peeve. Whew, I never have to think about height again.

 

[Spiffy]

I'm 5 foot 2. Honestly, having dated both really tall guys and ones around my height....I prefer the shorter ones. We're more...err...physically compatible .

And by that I mean dancing, of course!

 

[get_atomized]

An ideal partner would be stylish and charismatic, non-monogamous and of ambiguous gender identity, but I guess the ideal is pretty rare for all of us!

 

[Lily Powers]

1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, helps with the cooking, cleans and who has a job.:eusa_clap
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh and who laughs at your jokes.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn’t lie.[angel]
4. It is important to find a man who knows how to please and enjoys getting horizontal (and sometimes vertical). :cheers1:
5. It is important that these four men never meet.

 

[HadleyH]

^
^
^
^Lily Powers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are too funny girl! lol lol lol

 

[pigeon toe]

My ideal man is someone who is funny, laidback, smart, open-minded, liberal, independent and kind. I'm not into traditional gender roles at all and am not interested in a guy fulfilling the stereotype of what a man "should" be. I do like guys who are a bit more "dude"-ish though. I like loud music, crass humor and drinking beer, so I need a guy who likes doing that at least some of the time. To me, that doesn't mean a jock or a frat boy, though. It means a punk dude who knows that girls can be just as tough as the guys! I love people who are who they are and don't try to conform to any one such thing. That's really, really attractive to me. Things that will win a dude brownie points with me, but aren't necessary, include:

- really into music
- artistic or musically talented
- handsome!
- more outgoing than introverted
- non-religious

As for height, I'm 5'2", so there are no height requirements for me! My ex was 5'9" and the current fella I'm seeing is a little bit shorter, maybe 5'7" at the shortest. To a lot of ladies they probably seem short, but to me they are tall enough!

 

[Rachael]

I'll second the outgoing, mainly to the point that common interests need to be shared or you will end up growing apart. Not to say I want to spend every moment with my man, but when I'm out enjoying myself I like it that he's there enjoying the moments with me.

on (or maybe off ) the topic a bit, a friend sent me a note that read "I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer." lol she's single and witty, boys!

 

[JimInSoCalif]

1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, helps with the cooking, cleans and who has a job.:eusa_clap
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh and who laughs at your jokes.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn’t lie.[angel]
4. It is important to find a man who knows how to please and enjoys getting horizontal (and sometimes vertical). :cheers1:
5. It is important that these four men never meet.

I love that #5 - thanks for the chuckle.

Cheers, Jim.