LADIES of the LOUNGE

[patterson]

Hard to find old-fashioned guys, I guess... especially in their 20's and 30's (present company excluded, of course). And guys with morals? Pretty difficult this day and age...

I had a conversation with a woman who works for me about this very topic. We’ve been friends for several years – not a line I usually cross with coworkers/employees, but there have been a few exceptions over the years… I’ve actually hired her twice – once when she was young and ready to be abused right out of college, and later when I needed a seasoned veteran who would stand up to me when I am being a stupid male boss with blinders on…

Anyway, we were talking about this topic – and I was honestly shocked at the picture she was painting of the current “eligible crop” of my gender in the 25-35 age range… Few things in this life have made me feel “old” at the ripe age of 43 – but this conversation did the trick…

I explained that, in my day (when Reagan and/or George Sr. were in the White House), I had three rules to casual dating, and they were pretty common across my friends as well:

1.) No promises or commitments are made unless discussed and agreed upon by both…
2.) Nobody does anything they don’t want to – whether they think it is expected of them or not…
3.) She has to tolerate and accept the fact that I’m going to spoil her a little – no strings attached either way, it is just something I and other men enjoy doing…

She said number two has been replaced to more along the lines of “you do what I want you to do with no strings attached to me” or something along those lines… She also said number three would be revised to “I get credit for everything I do for you and expect reciprocation as I see fit to collect”. I was hoping her experience was unique, but I’m told that it is not so… No wonder Dr. Phil is doing such a booming business…

Sorry to dive fftopic: ... I'll get off my soapbox now...

 

[dostacos]

I had a conversation with a woman who works for me about this very topic. We’ve been friends for several years – not a line I usually cross with coworkers/employees, but there have been a few exceptions over the years… I’ve actually hired her twice – once when she was young and ready to be abused right out of college, and later when I needed a seasoned veteran who would stand up to me when I am being a stupid male boss with blinders on…

Anyway, we were talking about this topic – and I was honestly shocked at the picture she was painting of the current “eligible crop” of my gender in the 25-35 age range… Few things in this life have made me feel “old” at the ripe age of 43 – but this conversation did the trick…

I explained that, in my day (when Reagan and/or George Sr. were in the White House), I had three rules to casual dating, and they were pretty common across my friends as well:

1.) No promises or commitments are made unless discussed and agreed upon by both…
2.) Nobody does anything they don’t want to – whether they think it is expected of them or not…
3.) She has to tolerate and accept the fact that I’m going to spoil her a little – no strings attached either way, it is just something I and other men enjoy doing…

She said number two has been replaced to more along the lines of “you do what I want you to do with no strings attached to me” or something along those lines… She also said number three would be revised to “I get credit for everything I do for you and expect reciprocation as I see fit to collect”. I was hoping her experience was unique, but I’m told that it is not so… No wonder Dr. Phil is doing such a booming business…

Sorry to dive fftopic: ... I'll get off my soapbox now...

I always, ALWAYS held/opened doors, walked on the outside of sidewalks NEVER had a dutch date, and the ONLY times I let the girl pay anything was Sadie Hawkins dances in High School. I actually had girls [ah been married for 28 years, so back then....] get mad at me for holding the door or opening the car door for them [those Da@$ seventies] I found an old fashioned woman who I chased until she caught me

My three sons [do you hear the theme song in the backround?] were raised the same. I kidded my 2nd son about being with a girl under 18 and he had a fit, would not even think of dating an under age girl [he was 18] he is now 22 and when we ask about a girl he might mention, his comment is he thinks of them as his "sister". His older married brother and he hang around with the same group, and mostly they group date. Actually it is more like herd dating, 15-20 of them will go to the movies or to the beach. The youngest is the same way [learned a lot of this from older bro] It might help that all the kids they hang with are from church and much of their hanging out is after various church functions....

 

[Nashoba]

That's a cool outfit. The purple is very unique these days. You look absolutely lovely!

aww shucks thanks.....Gaige and a lot of people who kept stopping us for pictures thought so too....I think it's my new favorite suit!!!!! I'd wear it to meet my husband off the bus, but I think that Red White and Blue might be a better fit....

 

[patterson]

Hey Dostacos - I think you might be missing my point... Let me just clarify and then I'll leave it alone...

It is not so much a question of opening doors and the like. I guess any monkey can jump through hoops to make a woman think he respects her... My point is that I was raised to in fact actually respect women and I'm worried that this does not happen today...

To be clear, I am not trying to toot anyone's horn... I am just scared because I have a daughter. Ah well - I guess fathers have been saying this for as long as there have been fathers... Good thing my daughter has inherited my right-cross and upper-cut...

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming... Ladies - you are all gorgeous!

 

[zaika]

She said number two has been replaced to more along the lines of “you do what I want you to do with no strings attached to me” or something along those lines… She also said number three would be revised to “I get credit for everything I do for you and expect reciprocation as I see fit to collect”. I was hoping her experience was unique, but I’m told that it is not so… No wonder Dr. Phil is doing such a booming business…

That is so depressing. And the #1 reason I don't date (much).

 

[Diamondback]

Hard to find old-fashioned guys, I guess... especially in their 20's and 30's (present company excluded, of course). And guys with morals? Pretty difficult this day and age...

What's the "plus/minus" tolerance on "old-fashioned"? As for the morals question, does being extremely "commitment-oriented" count?

There's not enough flowers and candy in the world for any of these ladies ... single or not.

But is there enough Kevlar, steel and concrete for protection from their husbands, fiancees and boyfriends? I know if I was dating/engaged/married to one of these ladies, anybody trying to "poach" would see my protective instincts working overtime... (hence my "do you, perchance, have an identical-twin sister who's single?" question...)

It is not so much a question of opening doors and the like. I guess any monkey can jump through hoops to make a woman think he respects her... My point is that I was raised to in fact actually respect women. I learned it from my parents in the way they interacted, as well as my grandparents, etc... I was raised to believe what made a man a real man/gentleman was a responsibility to do such and to protect those who could not protect themselves, women and men alike… It is simply how I was raised and I'm worried that this does not happen today...

Bingo--the whole "with 'power' comes responsibility" thing. (Firm believer in it myself.)

I am scared because I have a daughter who is going to be out among a crop of jerks and I am concerned my scare tactics (cleaning a shotgun when they come to pick her up) may not weed out all of the bad apples Ah, well - I guess fathers have been saying this for as long as there have been fathers... Good thing my daughter has inherited my right-cross and upper-cut...

Watch this space, sir--I'll post a link to another forum's discussion on this very subject once I can get away from the library's filters.

She said number two has been replaced to more along the lines of “you do what I want you to do with no strings attached to me” or something along those lines… She also said number three would be revised to “I get credit for everything I do for you and expect reciprocation as I see fit to collect”. I was hoping her experience was unique, but I’m told that it is not so… No wonder Dr. Phil is doing such a booming business…

That is so depressing. And the #1 reason I don't date (much).

Umm, I hear that, pretty lady... (I suppose fear of being ambushed by such a [insert invective of choice here] is one of the things that's kept me out of the game... just because I'm "fanatically loyal" doesn't give her a license to push me around...)

 

[patterson]

She said number two has been replaced to more along the lines of “you do what I want you to do with no strings attached to me” or something along those lines… She also said number three would be revised to “I get credit for everything I do for you and expect reciprocation as I see fit to collect”. I was hoping her experience was unique, but I’m told that it is not so… No wonder Dr. Phil is doing such a booming business…

That is so depressing. And the #1 reason I don't date (much).

I'm sorry... I'm just being a little ray of sunshine today, aren't I... Anyway, I apologize for my gender - for whatever it is worth... :eusa_doh:

 

[zaika]

I'm sorry... I'm just being a little ray of sunshine today, aren't I... Anyway, I apologize for my gender - for whatever it is worth... :eusa_doh:

LOL. yes, quite the ray of sunshine!
apology accepted. haha!

 

[patterson]

BACK ON TOPIC:

These are my most certainly my favorite pics of the day. I'd go into more detail, but I would probably just get into trouble. Anyway, I'll just say you have a very pretty smile... Thanks for sharing them...

Just me again at Oaks Park - an amusement park that first opened 1910 in Portland Oregon.

 

[dostacos]

Hey Dostacos - I think you might be missing my point... Let me just clarify and then I'll leave it alone...

It is not so much a question of opening doors and the like. I guess any monkey can jump through hoops to make a woman think he respects her... My point is that I was raised to in fact trully respect women and I'm worried that this does not happen today...

To be clear, I am not trying to toot anyone's horn... I am just scared because I have a daughter. Ah well - I guess fathers have been saying this for as long as there have been fathers... Good thing my daughter has inherited my right-cross and upper-cut...

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming... Ladies - you are all gorgeous!

no I think my point is that type of behavior is no longer in favor and that has led to the downfall in general manners. I have three boys and hope that they would be worthy of dating your daughter[ well 2 of 'em since the third is married] actually I am sure of it, they know that if you needed that shotgun I would standing next to you passing the buck shot, oh and if you ever need anybody to join you cleaning their gun I have had practice. My dad's neighbor was a cop and he had a daughter that was not only beautiful but at 16 could pass for 20. we all sat around cleaning our 45s. we were introduced as the posselol

and they are all beautiful ladies

Regards,

Dan

 

[Marc Chevalier]

It's interesting that we (men) assume that it's our daughters' dates that'll need the shotgun warnings. We don't like to think that it might be our own girls who'll put the moves on the boys. Our attitude is patronizing, if not downright sexist. We can't ignore that young girls today are more sexually forward than ever.

.

 

[patterson]

Dostacos - Well said and understood! Thanks and high regards!

 

[patterson]

It's interesting that we (men) assume that it's our daughters' dates that'll need the shotgun warnings. We don't like to think that it might be our own girls who'll put the moves on the boys. Our attitude is patronizing, if not downright sexist.

.

Well, in the interest of the discussion I have to ask - do you have a daughter? I felt the same way when I only had a son, and it quickly changed when my daughter was born... Sexist? Too easy a response, in my opinion... The fact is as a father I worry about both. I can manage the worry about my daughter attacking a boy that way. That is a question as to how I raise her. The worry is about how the other parents raise their son, who like it or not is physically endowed with advantages over girls in general. Come to think of it, your response of crying "sexist" is probably one of the worst examples of pandering... Not to say I think that is your intent, but I do feel it is more accurate of the response... Sorry, not trying to provoke anything beyond a discussion, but I think it is true. My point is I think my concern is more pragmatic than the one you raise... I as a father I can directly manage that risk, but the other is beyond my control and requires a certain unconditional trust that is hard to come by... JMO...

Now - more importantly... Doesn't Brooksie have a really cute smile?

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Well, in the interest of the discussion I have to ask - do you have a daughter?

I have a niece who's beginning to date. She's the closest I have to a daughter ... for now.

The worry is about how the other parents raise their son, who like it or not is physically endowed with advantages over girls in general.

This sounds a bit like paranoia. Do you think that date rape is likely to happen to your daughter? If you do, then a shotgun (or equivalent) approach is not going to stop it from happening. Rather than trying to scare your daughter's date, you can (and, I'm sure, do) teach her how to avoid getting into risky situations with risky dates. If you raise her right and she's not self-destructive, then the chances are pretty low that a date rape will occur.

.

 

[patterson]

This sounds a bit like paranoia. Do you think that date rape is likely to happen to your daughter(s)? If you do, then a shotgun (or equivalent) approach is not going to stop it from happening. Rather than trying to scare your daughter's date, you can (and, I'm sure, do) teach her how to avoid getting into risky situations with risky dates. If you raise her right and she's not self-destructive, then the chances are pretty low that a date rape will occur.

.

Well, you're getting warmer but I still think I'm failing to connect... I do need to point out something, and please do not take offense. Everyone who has a dog or cat or neice or nephew has a tendancy to think they understand what it is like to be a parent. It just ain't so, my friend. Just as my understanding of this fact would never allow me to tell my wife that I know what it means to be a mother. I "understand" that natural void in my emotional make-up because I also understand that being an uncle is nothing close to being a father. The difference is immeasurable... You speak of "chances being one in a million" but when that life comes from you, one in a billion is untenable... You don't care about "chance" you care about placing yourself between them and any harm - period... If you are an emotionally functioning parent, it is hard-wired into you... Take it to the bank, but do not take offense at the statement...

Regardless, the worry is there... Yes - you raise them - sons and daughters - the best you can, but the fact is you still worry and you always will. Again, my point is about a general worry that the boys we raise do not respect the girls we raise. We are subject to a mutual trust in each other as parents that we instill this into our kids - both boys and girls. I believe I have raised my son to treat a girl as I would hope his sister would be treated. I hope I am right. If I am not I have failed in the most important job I have ever had...

I have to say your response of "paranoia" and "date rape" imply to me I may not be getting through my point. They are a bit inflamatory, and are a cheap response, IMHO. But I will take responsibility for that as being my failure to connect my point...

LOL! Well, I guess it all boils down to parents always have something to worry about, and kids have a tendancy to make at least some of those worries warranted.

Sorry if this tangent has been a distraction. Again, I'd rather be commenting on Brooksie's smile...

 

[Technonut]

Now - more importantly... Doesn't Brooksie have a really cute smile?

She certainly does....

 

[Lauren]

What's the "plus/minus" tolerance on "old-fashioned"?

I don't understand the question.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start a tangent. Maybe there should be a separate thread created?

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I don't understand the question.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start a tangent. Maybe there should be a separate thread created?

For it to be a tangent...that would imply there was an actual point to this thread. lol

 

[dashiell]

For it to be a tangent...that would imply there was an actual point to this thread. lol

fftopic:

Clever! lol

 

[Brooksie]

Now - more importantly... Doesn't Brooksie have a really cute smile?[/QUOTE]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Patterson for the wonderful compliment!

LB