Is it just me or the vintage style?

[Naama]

Good, this might sound strange, but....
So, somehow, during the last years I managed to gather like the biggest group of gay guys around me. I really don't mind, since I found like the greatest friendships I've ever had, but it's a bit strange..... Like in University, only the gay guys spoke to me so far...... (from the people not in my semester)
Since, they come up to me, some tell me that they wanted to get to know me since they first saw me and they seem to be quite fascinated by me. So I aksed some of my friends, why this is and the answers I get are like; you look like you've got history (I think that means the vintage style?) and that I just look like a fag hag (sorry, It's the only english word I have for that). It's like, the straight guys sometimes even really ignore me but the gay guys, they really adore me, it's almost creepy in some way....

So I wonder, is it just me, or has anyone else experienced something like that as well?


Naama

 

[Tough Cookie]

Hmmm. Not to offer sweeping generalizations, but I've foiund that gay men do not seem as likely to be intimidated by a sense of the theatrical, of a more pronounced sense of personal style. In fact, I'm sure it's not uncommon for many gay men to be drawn to that.

Also, by dressing vintage you can also be perceived as being aware that you are something of a square peg in a round hole, and all humans feel that. But by continuing to do so in public especially, it can display a method of courage. Others who deal with the "square peg syndrome" can be attracted to those who refuse to dilute their essence for mass consumption.

The somewhat creepy adoration you speak of, it makes me think of the powerful admiration many gay men hold for certain female icons of the past like Judy Garland. Perhaps they are projecting an aspect of that onto you.

 

[thebadmamajama]

I'm right there with you, Naama--some of my best friends are gay and I have maybe one or two male friends who are straight but a whole pack of gay guys...they are wonderful friends but I have often wondered what the "attraction" is as well.

 

[Cheesecakecutie]

Hey Naama when i lived in canada i had a similar experience..i think it is due to the fact that you stand out as "different". It makes you more approachable as you look different and gay guys on the whole feel different.(made to feel so dirfferent by our society)...So by your vintage look are assured of friendship and understanding as it is obvious from your dress style that you are open minded. I find gay guys are the best kind of male friends as u can talk to them as u would a girl but get a male prospectus...how wonderful. and you have no worries about them suddenly fancying you ! I now am in my thirties and have a mixture of both male female and gay friends..but i still find that all the cute guys avoid me ... I think they are threatened by my obvious outlandish vintage style...but then the guy that most matters (my man who is the most gorgeous) was totally attracted to my ways...so there you have it hope that helps

 

[pigeon toe]

For me, one of my best friends, who is gay, couldn't care less about my vintage style. But then again, we've been friends since before I reguarly dressed vintage and he's more into "indie" style.

However, as for my mom's gay friends, or when I go to gay bars dressed in vintage, I get tons of attention! It's great! It's so nice to hear compliments on my appearance from guys sometimes, even if I know they aren't into me!

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

I have the same experience (think I already mentioned it here before somewhere...) but when I went to a Fashion Week party last year I got something like 5 different, very gay men come up to me throughout the evening and compliment me on my look, even telling me that I had the best look of anyone in the party. And this was a party full of ridiculously tall and skinny catwalk models and several celebrities. I think it must have totally something to do with gay guys' general love of theatrical or flamboyant dressing. Well as Tough Cookie said, it is a terrible generalisation, but very true of gay men who work in fashion, so true in this case!

 

[JazzBaby]

I've asked my good (and gay) friend Christian about this and he says it's because most gay guys love the drama and high style involved with vintage clothes - even if it's a simple outfit it's so much more glamourous than the everyday outfits of other people (which has been discussed here on many occassions) and also because many of the old movie starlets are such huge gay icons - Monroe, Garland etc.

He also claims that walking around with someone in a velour trackie detracts from his own outfit...cheeky lol

 

[Elaina]

Dunno, I too have a collection of gay people (men, women and those that are just "other"). I think it stems from the fact I already live in my own self-made universe where things revolve around me, so I could care less what they are sexually, outside of my known universe or in general.

I also asked a family friend about it (who is a young gay man) and he said "Well, really, you and Will are attention getters, obviously show you're not worried about conventionality and it shows you're open to new ideas. Which kind of shows you're not that worried about sexual orientation, and you're going to be okay when I go <insert really annoyingly loud girlish screch> over some really drop dead georgous guy. You guys have taste and seem to know some of the most classy people around, and I meet alot of cute guys." (To which I'll point out that my husband is the social butterfly, and next to "metrosexual" in the dictionary, it has his picture. He's also been called the straightest gay guy in the known universe.) I also asked my best friend (who is a lesbian) and she said "Because you have your head up your (I'll change it to backside for niceness) and I don't think you realize I'm gay until you stop and pay attention." To which I replied, "Well, you don't really count. You're not really a woman anyway."

It's acceptance. Are you more likely to find acceptance with someone that dresses as they like, or dresses like the lost their way to the rodeo? It's an ecclectic, and generally considered unconventional, lifestyle. Pretty much what gay people are considered.

To me, though, the question has always been "Why is it that most of the people I know are gay, when I and my husband are really conservative?"

 

[beaucaillou]

I also have this experience. I agree with Tough Cookie's thoughts.

My good, gay, male friends have explained that it's the sense of glamour and the polish which I employ in dress, manner, speech, and carriage. Sure enough, whenever I meet their other female friends, they are all put together and a bit fancier than most people.

 

[CanadaDoll]

I think it may be because these days, people don't know how to approach people who are dressed more glamorously, unless they do the same.
Maybe it seems intimidating or snobbish, I don't know[huh]
I find a marked difference in how I'm treated depending on what I'm wearing, for the first time this term I was in a pair of jeans, and in my English class people who would only smile at me previously, began making casual conversation, and jokes.[huh]
Is a vintage style dress really that scary, or is it me?lol

 

[princessofcandl]

fftopic: I just have to say WOW!!! what an amazing pic and what a great hairstyle Beaucaillou! Love it!

 

[Naama]

"Good" to know, I'm not alone!

It would be nice if our style would have the same attraction to straight guys But well, you can't have anything, and anywhere, wherever I go, I have the most handsome, male company


Naama

 

[vonwotan]

There are some us out there... Many of my friends also appreciate a well dressed woman. Several of us have interests that span the 19th centrury through the forties - I am particularly fond of the Edwardian and Roaring Twenties. I would have enjoyed taking a date to a dinner club where the patrons still dressed for dinner, and to the Cotton Club in it's heyday. My ex had the most wonderful flapper black cocktail dress - beaded from top to bottom so the dress came alive when we danced...

Admittedly, many of my co-workers seem to prefer the less intellectual, bottle blond fresh from the tanning bed... Perhaps that is why my social life and my work life never seem to mix.

 

[Naama]

There are some us out there...

Well some, but not enough! lol And not anywhere near me....

beside, there's nothing wrong with the bottle blondes!



Naama

 

[vonwotan]

Well some, but not enough! lol And not anywhere near me....

beside, there's nothing wrong with the bottle blondes!



Naama

Quite right. Nothing at all wrong with the bottle blondes. I should have qualified that with "the negative stereotype of a bottle blonde". Conversations with a few of these young women was quite disappointing, and their fashion sense seems to come from the worst of pop music and teen hollywood. Individuality is taboo for this crowd.

 

[jazzzbaby]

I think gay men love great style & many times have incredible style themselves. Some of our greatest fashion designers past & present were gay...(as well as make up artist, home decorators, etc) I think they also grew up loving the classic styles of old Hollywood and can appreciate it when a woman brings that glamour into her wardrobe, hair, & makeup.

Look at Kevyn Aucoin...He adored Hollywood glamour! He was a master at creating a look on just about anyone. What a talent he was!

I would be very flattered to be adorned by so many men that enjoy great style.
You must be the cat's meow!

 

[epr25]

I was at our local gay bar (the only one we have) and one of the performers that was like 8 foot tall grabbed me and gave me a complement on my vintage attaire. I took that more to heart coming from her then I would coming from the normal person that might say something. I feel that If I could impress her I must have been doing something right that night.

 

[mysterygal]

I really haven't noticed ANY change in this regard...just more compliments! I actually get approached more by women, in the non lezbian sense of their curiousity by which I'm dressed.

 

[lindylady]

Look at Kevyn Aucoin...He adored Hollywood glamour! He was a master at creating a look on just about anyone. What a talent he was!

I have Kevyn Aucoin's book Making Faces. He explains step by step how to recreate certain vintage looks (flapper, gamine, screen siren, bombshell, etc.) on yourself. The celebrity photos in the book are just gorgeous. I was amazed at how Lisa Marie Presley looked EXACTLY like Marilyn Monroe. I tried some of the looks featured in this book and was pleased that I could recreate them to some extent. His instructions are very clear.

 

[mysterygal]

THat's amazing, cause presley has some pretty darn strong facial features going on, whereas Marilyn Monroe is more 'soft'.
I'm definetely going to look for that book, sounds like some good reading for ideas!