I need some advice...

[Spitfire]

Two more cents.
Live by yourself. Get a flat and then get some roommate(s) - that way you decide who you want to live with. And you have your freedom.
Just my two cents.

 

[Miss Crisplock]

You are being judged every day by the people around you. Even when you don't give them permission. Just like the way one judges others, really.

Living with a Former step-Dad is still living as a child in a parents house. Is it cheaper for you? Well yes, because he owns his own house (or rather has the responsibility of a mortgage), and would undoubtedly be subsidising your living expenses. What benefit is there in this for him?

Time to grow up and be on your own. Roomates will teach you about life, what and who you are. Even the bad ones.

Good luck.

 

[dnjan]

Find a room-mate and move out. Learn self-sufficiency.

My son (just finished his freshman year in college) moved into an apartment last week, and has already learned how to clean a clogged sink drain.

It is best to learn self-sufficiency (and make the mistakes that go along with the learning process) while you are young enough to have people forgive/forget your mistakes.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

Ok....

You listed two options, and asked for advice between those two.

If Mike is currently 'like a father to you', then I agree that perhaps its not the best choice if you are chafing under a parental authority already.


I would try and find a roomate among those you know at school. Put fliers up on bulletin boards there maybe, and Craigslist.org is also a great resource.

 

[Paisley]

If you get a roommate, be sure to ask them a lot of questions and agree on house rules before you move in. Get everything in writing and keep receipts--you don't want to end up on Judge Judy.

There are probably some people near your college who rent rooms to students. This might be better than sharing an apartment and possibly being stuck with the all the bills if your roommate takes a powder.

In any event, living on your own will be an education in itself.

If you're like me, you'll find it easier to get along with your mother when you're not living under the same roof.

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

Yes, when it comes to looking for apartments and finding roommates, trust your judgement. I had a roommate I suspected would be trouble but I had to fill the room or swallow all the rent...and he ended up being trouble.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

Hello,

I would go with #2, but mention nothing of it to her. Work it out between you and him.

I moved back in with my mother only because I simply did not have the health to keep up with taking care of everything myself due to having the fibromyalgia-cfs. So, I can also understand why you don't want to be judged either.

My health was only part of the equation, seeing a SWAT team go into one of the other buildings at the complex factored in being the other half of the equation. There were too many drug dealings, and other illegal activity going on, so I decided to get the heck out of there.

Best of luck,

Prien

 

[DeeDub]

Living on your own or with your peers is liberating. Id recommend that. Even if you are in school, its a worth while thing to at least do once before school ends.
LD

I'd have to go with LD on this, adding a mention of the advantage of a quiet place to study without distractions. Whether you live with roommates or family, there are likely to be interruptions and other noise getting in the way of your studies.

Since you're by yourself, you can get by in a smaller, less expensive place. When I was first on my own, I had a tiny studio apartment. It was the simplest time in my life. A smaller pad costs less and requires less of your time for upkeep.

One other thing. Although it's harder to work your way through school while putting a roof over your head, when you look back on it, there's additional pride in knowing you accomplished it by your own sweat, without a net.

 

[Paisley]

I'd have to go with LD on this, adding a mention of the advantage of a quiet place to study without distractions. Whether you live with roommates or family, there are likely to be interruptions and other noise getting in the way of your studies.

Since you're by yourself, you can get by in a smaller, less expensive place. When I was first on my own, I had a tiny studio apartment. It was the simplest time in my life. A smaller pad costs less and requires less of your time for upkeep.

One other thing. Although it's harder to work your way through school while putting a roof over your head, when you look back on it, there's additional pride in knowing you accomplished it by your own sweat, without a net.

:eusa_clap

A classmate of mine who moved out called the additional expenses "an investment in [her] sanity."

 

[Jovan]

Thanks everyone, for the responses. I will take your advice into consideration. There's actually a couple of people I've gotten to know at my work who I'd consider trustworthy, given they've had their apartment for years and are in their mid-20s. I'll be sure to talk to them.

 

[GoldLeaf]

I took student loans out for everything I lived in the dorms for the first 2 years of college, and then moved into an apartment for the last 2. The apartment charged the same thing the dorms did so that the financial aid calculations and allocations would cover the rent. I got a refund check from my student loans at the begining of every semester and paid my rent in one lump sum.

Yes, I graduated with a good chunk of debt. My husband lived in the dorms the entire 4 years and also graduated with a large ammount of debt. We went to school to far away to be able to live at home, but I don't think I would have lived at home even if I lived close enough.

Sometimes I curse my loans. However, I loved the time that I spent living with my friends. I have fabulous memories. I would take the extra out in loans again if I had to. My recommendation would be to take out the loans and get your own place.

However, if you can't do that, your step-dad may be a good choice. I know that my mom and I certainly needed a break from eachother during the college years, and it helped us a lot. It may help you, too.

 

[pigeon toe]

Definitely talk to friends/co-workers! That's how I found a place to live next year and it looks like it will be pretty good.

I was scrambling for awhile this year, freaking out because I'll need a new place to live for 3 months at the beginning of the next school year and I'm pretty shy so I couldn't figure out who to live with. I ended up going to a birthday party a couple of weeks ago and met a girl there who needed an extra roommate for the exact amount of time I need a new apartment.

So it'll be me, and three girls I barely know in a 2 bedroom apartment next year. I'm half scared, half excited!

 

[Harp]

Talk to your stepfather, ask for temporary assistance; which is quite
reasonable considering your age and circumstance. If you are not
currently employed, find work that can meld with school. Maintain some
contact with your mother, time heals most wounds, and realize that
the real world of adulthood carries responsibility. Good luck, son.