Humility is a sign of beauty.

[Lady Day]

I got to vent here, ladies. I'm getting tired of people who just have to rattle off every instance of what they do/can do/ have done in order to feel included in a topic they know nothing about.

You know the type: you mention an interest and they have to immediately counter with, "My sister does that," or, "I have a friend who is real big into that." Or, you get the type who can do and has experienced everything. "Yeah, I cook gourmet stuff." "I know how to build furniture." "I've run this or that, blah blah."

For some odd reason, this isn't simply one annoying person in your life. That horrid co-worker or a neighbor you don't really care for. This hubris seems to be getting commonplace with a lot of people.

Remember when you had to have a friend 'vouch' for you in something like this. The "They are too proud, but they can do X great!" That sign of knowing by vouching seems to be gone. What happened to it?

Are you still humble in what you can do and your accomplishments? Do you brag on yourself when you need to (nothing wrong with that)? How do you deal with people how have no/ or too much humility?

Do share

LD

 

[LizzieMaine]

I smile and say "That's nice." I find that the people who really have accomplished things don't have to talk about them and are usually uncomfortable doing so -- that's why press agents make a lot of money, I guess.

 

[kamikat]

This is tough because when I was in beauty school, boasting of your skills was encouraged as part of the marketing yourself aspect of being a stylist. It makes sense to boast of the professional skills if that's what I'm selling. On the other hand, I try hard to not boast of my non-professional skills. I shouldn't be trying to market my awesome pies or whatever all the time. I have noticed a lot of "experts" posting online that are trying to "teach" or show off their skills in whatever area, many of whom are new to whatever their are trying to "teach". It seems to me that the internet is trying to make all of us into experts or businesspeople, where we once were hobbyists.

 

[fortworthgal]

I try not to do this, but I think we're all guilty of it to some degree, whether we want to admit it or not. It is almost human nature to want to contribute, be included, and to show that we're knowledgeable about something. Some are just "worse" about it than others. I do have a pair of acquaintances who constantly bombard with their questionable tales of meeting high-up folks through their jobs, prior amazing exploits, fabulous trips, whatever. I take it all with a grain of salt and go with Lizzie's "That's nice" technique.

 

[sheeplady]

I think you can divide people who brag constantly into two camps: those who are socially inept and those that are just plain braggers. Some people actually want to be friends with you and very much respect you, but they think the only way they can be a friend is if they "connect" with you- and unfortunately this comes off as bragging, particularly if they are a little socially inept.

I'm convinced that people who are overall braggers have low self esteem or other issues. The few people I know who are really annoying and in everybody's face about being an expert on everything had really tough childhoods without a lot of love/time spent with their parents. I think they learned early to think they were better than others as a coping skill. And that's just how this coping skill manifests itself. I have an attitude similar to LizzieMaine- "how nice." And then I try to walk away.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

As my Dad used to say, an "expert" is merely somebody who knows a little bit more than you do. Problem is that we have too many "experts" and very few masters -- that is to say someone who really does know his or her stuff like no one else's business.

 

[Lady Day]

I wouldn't even call that an expert. Id call that a 'circumstantial' expert because the moment someone comes in with some more info, that person is deflated.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Sometimes I think the best way to deal with this might be to just get it all over with right at the beginning of a conversation. "Hi, I'm Lizzie. I once interviewed Ross Perot, I rode an elephant in a circus parade, and I can snatch twenty fifty-cent pieces at once off my elbow. How about you?"

 

[Lady Day]

That's nice

 

[scarlett]

I like that approach Lizzie.

 

[Barbigirl]

You describe my BIL exactly. Exasperating to say the very least.

I wouldn't even call that an expert. Id call that a 'circumstantial' expert because the moment someone comes in with some more info, that person is deflated.

 

[Frenchy56]

I have/had a friend like that once. It seemed like you could mention anything in the whole world and he would know something about it. I suppose it wasn't really a question of humility, just the fact that he couldn't keep his damn mouth shut! An answer for everything and an opinion on everything, whether it was wanted or not.

I used to fume silently and take the Lizzie approach D) until one day it got a bit too much and, well... we won't go into it.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

This doesn't bother so much. "Airs" do; that invisible arrogance that can permeate the most humble-sounding comments.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

This is tough because when I was in beauty school, boasting of your skills was encouraged as part of the marketing yourself aspect of being a stylist. It makes sense to boast of the professional skills if that's what I'm selling. On the other hand, I try hard to not boast of my non-professional skills. I shouldn't be trying to market my awesome pies or whatever all the time. I have noticed a lot of "experts" posting online that are trying to "teach" or show off their skills in whatever area, many of whom are new to whatever their are trying to "teach". It seems to me that the internet is trying to make all of us into experts or businesspeople, where we once were hobbyists.

I agree!

 

[Frenchy56]

This doesn't bother so much. "Airs" do; that invisible arrogance that can permeate the most humble-sounding comments.

This is *exactly* what my aforementioned friend had! ARGH don't get me started!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

This is *exactly* what my aforementioned friend had! ARGH don't get me started!

I was having lunch with an acquaintance who seemed to have an unhealthy preoccupation, no, obsession with her appearance and actually gave me the "people hate me because I'm beautiful" speech. I'm not kidding. Now it might be plausible at first because she is very attractive and some people may be intimidated by that, but it was in the spirit of "the ugly people beneath me can't handle it." She brought it up when I was asking her what she did for work and she was explaining to me why she didn't get along with her co-workers. Then she went on to complain about her friends who were unsupportive of her efforts to maintain her "beauty" because they seem uninterested. How insensitive of them! Then she went on to quote Oprah about true friendship.

My first impression of her was "here is a gal with airs!" but that was during my brief, ill-fated "don't be judgmental phase" so I didn't respect my gut. I now trust my radar!

 

[Lily Powers]

One of the girls on my college tennis team was just like that. She would insert herself into conversations and always "knew more,""had done it before (and better, of course)" and knew of a better way for you to do whatever it was you were discussing.

On a chartered bus trip to an away game, she sat up front behind the driver and was tossing her 2-cents into everyone's conversation with the same sense of entitlement and being better. Finally, the bus driver looked in that big rear view mirror and said, "Is there anything you THINK you know about that you actually DO know about?" It was classic. She was silenced; the rest of us were in awe - big grins and gleams in our eyes lit up the bus. And she shut up. All hail the bus driver, she stopped doing it after that.

 

[Jo Larke]

I tend to see the whole "Oh, my sister does that" response to the mention of an interest as a way to connect with the person-- sometimes, especially when I've just met someone, I find it nice to know that the person I'm talking to understands what I'm saying in some small way. Now, if they use that to turn the conversation onto themselves, then I would get annoyed. But I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to identify with someone.

 

[ThemThereEyes]

Hi All!

I think it's annoying when someone pushes it past a certain point. Most of us want to be included, and want to converse and relate. However, when it's done to "trump" or "one up" someone, then it's obnoxious. I've had a couple of bosses that would do this very thing, then go from there to talk all about themselves. Usually, it was if I was sick or having problems. They'd ask what was the matter and then begin to turn it to them. One especially happens to be obsessed with bragging about people she knows do such and such, have such and such. She also tries to find out if her friends have "important" jobs or not, etc. It's annoying beyond belief.

 

[Miss Peach]

Sometimes I wonder if this is a symptom of people not really getting to know each other. I have a huge soapbox ready to roll for facebook...but we are told to make "lists" of who we are and what we do, blindly, and throw it in the face of others. We are no longer taught to search for the mystery in other people. When did we all become a society of empty show-offs? Where has the mystery gone?