Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Humility is a sign of beauty.

As an English person I will happily deny compliments unless it is actually impossible (sometimes even then I try!), but in Germany it's not considered rude to say if you're good at something. Today, for example, I was helping a guy with his English... to give him a bit of a confidence boost, I told him his English was good. He just said, "Yes." Imagine! In England that's basically the same as saying, "By the way, I'm GREAT... just warning you." But over here it's fine!
 

Flicka

One Too Many
Messages
1,165
Location
Sweden
As a Swede, I know what you Brits mean. Here, the biggest sin possible is 'thinking you are something'. That includes putting yourself forward, not brushing off praise with a self-depreciating comment or - Heaven forbid - actually praising yourself. You also cannot criticise others because then you clearly think you are something too. Being passive-agressive though... We rule at that. :)

The younger generation is somewhat more prone to ignoring that rule, but I'd say it still permeates our society to a very large degree.
 

Miss Sabrina Fairchild

Familiar Face
Messages
79
Location
Melbourne, Australia
However, when it's done to "trump" or "one up" someone, then it's obnoxious.

That is my sister in law. We were both pregnant at the same time and she acted like it was a race. She kept saying (from 25 weeks) it would be any day now *roll eyes* and when I ended up having my daughter first she chucked a tantrum and refused to come to visit us....apparently I stole her thunder. After that anything I mentioned that our bub was doing, hers had been doing it first and longer. She called me triumphantly to inform me my niece got her first tooth before our bub. I congratulated her...what else could I do. It has been a competition (on her side) ever since. She doesn't know what to do with herself now we homeschool and she can't compare grades LOL. I just don't get it.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,715
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Interesting to see the European tendency toward self-effacement -- Americans tend to be just the opposite. The slogan here tends to be "She who tooteth not her own horn, her horn shalt goeth untooted." In other words, don't wait for someone else to compliment you, go right ahead and compliment yourself.

Not that a Uriah Heep-style "I'm so 'umble, I am" approach is all that much better. If you're always calling attention to your own humility, you can hardly be said to be humble.
 

LinaSofia

A-List Customer
Messages
475
Location
Brighton, UK
As a Swede who's lived in England for a long time, I agree with the comments about both Sweden and England. It's not that common here that someone would toot their own horn unashamedly!
I don't want to generalise of course, but I do have a german friend who doesn't think twice about bragging about his various achievements, to pick up on what Emy said. Just the fact that he joined Mensa says a great deal I think... lol
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
I don't know about the US thing though- I've got a lot of female students who have commented that they have a lot of trouble talking themselves up to their bosses compared to their male counterparts. I know that women also have more trouble negotiating their salaries and benefits, and that's probably the ultimate test of bragging.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,097
Messages
3,074,083
Members
54,091
Latest member
toptvsspala
Top