How to say goodbye to an old soldier.

[59Lark]

This week, i got a phone call the wife of a dear friend, called his three year battle with cancer is coming to a end. He slipped into a coma and she called ambulance and they took him to the hospital. The doctors were able to bring him out and the one person he asked for , was me. However since he is in icu , and i am not family the wait is on, he was must survive and improve enough to be transferred to palitive care before i can see him. So all day yesterday i thought of this and i didnt have a answer but hey no one ever said life was fair. Elmer served with the canadian army, finished a tour and then went over to buffalo and signed up with the us army and served one tour in vietnam. The experiences he had there affected him the rest of his life, he no longer drove a car after he came back, just not the lovable farm boy but a person with a dark and brooding nightmares and not always clear in mind but had a family and worked in the textile industry. The textile industry sure wasnt what it was and he was laid off or out of work a lot the last few years and no one will a older person a job with a trade or a ticket so he was availabe to work for me a lot and he did partime, for twenty five years. The road trips first in my 77 dodge tradesman van, 89 ford ranger truck, 1990 ford econoline van and even my current ride 2000 gmc safaria. We did a farmer market in amish country for over 24 years. We did sales at fabric stores in small towns up north. The time that i was looking at his face for a minute and he piped up we are going to buy the farm and a school bus was in our lane and we had to run the van in and out of the ditch to avoid the bus, the time we narrowly avoided a tornado , we stopped to call my wife and the 5 minutes we lost, we avoid a barn roof on the road. HOW DO YOU SAY GOODBYE TO A FRIEND. 59LARK. fftopic: fftopic:

 

[Carlisle Blues]

59Lark I am very sorry... sounds like you and he had shared very special moments...

The only thing I can offer you is to gently say goodbye in the most loving way possible. You know this person, you know what he values... trust that knowledge and trust yourself. You will know exactly what to do.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Foofoogal]

The experiences he had there affected him the rest of his life,

I am very sorry. I have no words. I just want to say I have a brother that has never recovered as well from Vietnam. His only son has recently served in harms way and it has brought it all back to my brother.
Freedom is never free. I thank your friend for his valiant service and thank you for being his friend all these years. May God bless you both and I pray for his family as well.

 

["Skeet" McD]

The doctors were able to bring him out and the one person he asked for , was me....HOW DO YOU SAY GOODBYE TO A FRIEND. 59LARK. fftopic: fftopic:

Dear 59Lark,
You are both in my thoughts and prayers; I hope you do get a chance to say goodbye.

How would I answer your question? He's asked for you: follow his lead. He'll probably show you what he wants and needs. It could be "nothing more" than being there with him; you'll know what to do when you get there, I think.

I thank him for his service to both our countries and believe he's going to a place where he will finally have peace.

Respectfully,
"Skeet"

 

[Story]

59L,
Check your PMs.

 

[59Lark]

update on elmer.

I GET A phone call on friday, its me elmer and i am calling from the otherside, long pause on my side, i dont think bell telephone has lines that far. So he came out of his coma, two days and was eating meatloaf and pasta on friday. Believe or not, he didnt have any room mates in his ward room, when i visited that guy he pointed to the left had a heartattack here and they rushed him out, that guy his legs went purple , and they rushed him out, been kinda quiet since then. You and boris are the only ones that visited, boris the truck driver who you were friends with 35 years ago, yup. This man was supposed to dead three years ago, worn down to 86 pounds. Talk about tough, agent orange and pesticide and hard work, his is only 62. I brought him up a novel, i know that the hospital would drive me insane, i would have to have a escape. I am describing elmer not boris, he is also different but as far as we know he is heathly, as heathly as a 63 truck driver can be. I AM overwhelmed with the unknown powers that be, going to go see elmer again tomorrow . Thanks for all the advice and support. 59LARK

 

["Skeet" McD]

Dear 59Lark,
What an unexpected post from you! I'm so glad you got a chance to see Elmer...and speechless as to what kind of a meeting it was! There are, (as someone once said)...more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your Philosophy...

We all should enjoy each and every day, and take it as a gift: it's easy to forget that. You and Elmer won't be, I think.

Sincerely,
"Skeet"

 

[Foofoogal]

Fabulous beyond words. Each moment is precious and a surprise. So happy for you and your friend and his family.

 

[59Lark]

update on this post, cancer went into remission, bladder operation and hip transplant, learned how to walk again and now 4 years later still alive and married again, the lady that i thought was his wife was common law, he made her legal last year. Wants to start helping again. wow strange things do happen, other people die from colds. the worst part he said was kicking the morphine that took a whopper.

 

[dhermann1]

Man proposes, God disposes. This is good to hear. You're a true friend, 59Lark. Give your friend the best wishes of all of us here.

 

[Gregg Axley]

Certainly good news. :eusa_clap

 

[TomS]

I stumbled on this post, and have to say what a great story!!

 

[furious]

Ditto what TomS said.