Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

[Atticus Finch]

I was laughing so hard, I had to stop and start reading this half a dozen times.

http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpres...st-analogies-written-by-high-school-students/

AF

 

[renaissancemedici]

Thanks for this one!

 

[Hellen Black]

I love to start the day with a laugh. Thanks!

 

[AntonAAK]

18.The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.


"The huge golden space ship hung in the air in almost exactly the way a brick doesn't." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


If you're going to steal, steal from the best...

 

[scottyrocks]

Hilarious. I actually did laugh out loud. Several times. Thanks for the link.

 

[m0nk]

This one is hilarious, not because it came out that way, but because everyone has a brother-in-law like this:

27.The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Some of these are actually quite brilliant, in a "if a late-forties Raymond Chandler imitator was writing a 2007 indie comedy" sort of way.

 

[C-dot]

This is my favourite, because it's completely true:

"4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30."

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

47. The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.

:rofl:

 

[amador]

I had to stop at #17 and bookmark the site for later. I couldn't stop laughing. I wish I could write well enought to write badly. Thanks

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Oh, this was just too gosh darn funny!

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

To write things this awful, yet this funny- now that's talent! I suspect some of the writers also do pretty good over at the Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest.

 

[amador]

Off topic: Marsha your signature... The reason men like women in leather is because they smell like a new car...

 

[rene_writer]

48.I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

I weirdly happen to know that those gizmos are called quick locks. Now, if someone speaks German we could really uncode this.

 

[m0nk]

Something I noticed when reading these... I'm reading the Nero Wolfe series of books (after having been reminded of my love for the A&E TV series that was on about 10 years ago) and have found that the narrator, Archie Goodwin, has a tendancy to narrate in some of the same way. Rex Stout had a writing style that not only sounded intellectual, but also comically average.