Help Yourself Why Don't You? :rolleyes:

[Jovan]

If enough men's stores still sold hats, this probably wouldn't be a problem for the curious salesman.

 

[nulty]

Taking your hat off in a public place where it's not necessary to so do and setting it down in front of someone where they can oogle it and drool over it is just an invitation for them to plop it on their infested nob. You're almost asking them to grab it just by setting it in front of them. It's a vicarious reaction on the part of the grabber....

I don't remove my hat if I'm wearing a fedora in front of anyone who is providing me a service. At a counter or a diner or a bar it stays on. In a restaurant as I'm being seated the hat glides form my head and stays in my hand till I can get it to a safe place.....

Other than the other socially mandated situations where a hat comes off ,it stays on the head and adds to the general ambiance of where ever I happen to be....

 

[Colby Jack]

I think there is also a general lack in manners.

 

[Barb]

Now THAT is funny ;-)

I would never want to try on a stranger's hat..

You 'fix' by asking -them- if they sell lice shampoo.... lol

 

[Sefton]

Pomade. A greased head might discourage the curious from doffing your hat without asking. Of course if they have an equally greasey noggin' you might end up mixing their crude with your balsamic...

 

[Vintage Betty]

I've never heard of anyone doing this.

And one look at me and they KNOW to not handle my hat! lol

Vintage Betty

 

[RBH]

Taking your hat off in a public place where it's not necessary to so do and setting it down in front of someone where they can oogle it and drool over it is just an invitation for them to plop it on their infested nob. You're almost asking them to grab it just by setting it in front of them. It's a vicarious reaction on the part of the grabber....

I don't remove my hat if I'm wearing a fedora in front of anyone who is providing me a service. At a counter or a diner or a bar it stays on. In a restaurant as I'm being seated the hat glides form my head and stays in my hand till I can get it to a safe place.....

Other than the other socially mandated situations where a hat comes off ,it stays on the head and adds to the general ambiance of where ever I happen to be....

Well said Nulty.

 

[nulty]

Thank You RBH.. 'ppreciate that......

 

[mingoslim]

Ask them to kindly remove their pants . . .

So that you can try them on.

Make sure to tell them, in a very complimentary way, how nice their pants are first . . . .

 

[Johnnysan]

So that you can try them on.

Make sure to tell them, in a very complimentary way, how nice their pants are first . . . .

Too Funny! lol lol lol

 

[tandmark]

Howdy,

Agreed, that it's way rude of shop assistants (store clerks, on our side of the world) to grab your nice hat & try it on. Unsanitary as well. :eusa_doh:

That's why I wouldn't lie a hat on a shop counter, *especially* not on its crown.

When most people lie a hat or cap on the counter, they lie it there brim-down.

When a serious hat person lies their vintage Borsalino on a counter, it's going to be on its crown.

Clueless shop assistant sees this. Assumes there was some motive for such an eccentric gesture. Perhaps thinks, "The customer must want me to admire their hat, and the brim being up makes it very convenient to grab, so the customer will be pleased the most by my trying the hat on myself."

Actually, I wear my hat indoors, as long as I'm in a public space. At my desk, it comes off. In a hallway or elevator, it stays on.

That's admittedly not quite the same as following the hat-etiquette I was taught years ago. But at least no one is going to grab a hat right off my head.

Cheers,
Mark

 

[fatwoul]

I do not care to let just anyone put my hat on.
Most of the time I leave it on my head.

Indeed, and for me this is a lesson learned. However, it seems a shame for me to feel I have to leave my hat on out of necessity, to prevent someone messing with it. Really, it should be a choice on my part whether to remove it; I shouldn't feel forced to wear it, if you see what I mean.

The reason is probably because they see it as a costume-y thing, and don't think twice that you'd get annoyed. Would they do the same with a pair of sunglasses? I doubt it. Ask that of them if anyone does it again.

I think you've pinpointed it, Jovan. Because a hat is no longer considered essential wear, it is instead relegated to the ranks of costume, and so a novelty item people can interact with as they wish.

...In the Old West, anyone pulling such a move would be "toes up" in no time.

In any event, I am always acutely aware of where I leave my lid, and take pains to guard against the random curiosity of the hat-less...

I think there is also a general lack in manners.

Yes, as both you guys point out, the problem is that a lot of general good manners started to die along with the hat. That got me wondering if the two may be loosely connected; the men's hat carried with it a considerable amount of etiquette which, with the hat's demise, no longer needed to concern the hat-less male. So perhaps the underlying, constant background consideration of good manners that would have been at the back of a man's mind before WWII started to die, simply through lack of use.

...You're almost asking them to grab it just by setting it in front of them. It's a vicarious reaction on the part of the grabber...

I understand what you're saying, but to me it is akin to saying that one is almost asking someone to steal their car by parking it in a public lot.

Pomade. A greased head might discourage the curious from doffing your hat without asking. Of course if they have an equally greasey noggin' you might end up mixing their crude with your balsamic...

Or perhaps something with an unpleasant smell. I could start dousing my head in vinegar, for example. Being terminally single anyway, this would not present a problem to my social life.

I've never heard of anyone doing this...

Now you have.

Seriously - THREE TIMES it has happened to me so far.

So that you can try them on.

Make sure to tell them, in a very complimentary way, how nice their pants are first...

Exactly. And, just like I don't understand why someone else would want to put on my hat, I would not like to try on someone else's clammy strides.

...That's why I wouldn't lie a hat on a shop counter, *especially* not on its crown.

When most people lie a hat or cap on the counter, they lie it there brim-down...

I always rest my hats on their crowns, because to rest them on their brims causes too much trouble. Since several of my hats have untapered crowns, I've found sitting them upside down helpful in delaying the onset of taper. It also allows the inside of the hat to be aired whilst not being worn. I never just set them down without a cursary inspection of the surface, just as I would before sitting somewhere. Dust is easy to brush off.

...When a serious hat person lies their vintage Borsalino on a counter, it's going to be on its crown...

Guess that makes me a serious hat person.

...Clueless shop assistant sees this. Assumes there was some motive for such an eccentric gesture. Perhaps thinks, "The customer must want me to admire their hat, and the brim being up makes it very convenient to grab, so the customer will be pleased the most by my trying the hat on myself."

Perhaps, but the element of uncertainty in that situation could easily be removed by simply asking whether it is OK to try it on. Again, if I may return to the car analogy: If a person was to leave their door open while they are filling up, another person may take that as an invitation to leap into the car and drive off in it. They may only drive around the block, and they may return the car to the petrol station moments later, but doesn't make what they did any less illegal. It may be foolish for the car owner to leave their door open in the first place, just as it may be foolish for me to leave my hat on a shop counter, but I am doing so under the assumption that a person with a namebadge and a work record isn't going to take my stuff during their shift. lol

...Actually, I wear my hat indoors, as long as I'm in a public space. At my desk, it comes off. In a hallway or elevator, it stays on.

That's admittedly not quite the same as following the hat-etiquette I was taught years ago. But at least no one is going to grab a hat right off my head...

Wel to be honest when I see some of the kids around town, it wouldn't surprise me if one of them tried to do exactly that! lol

 

[nulty]

"Quote:
Originally Posted by nulty
...You're almost asking them to grab it just by setting it in front of them. It's a vicarious reaction on the part of the grabber...

I understand what you're saying, but to me it is akin to saying that one is almost asking someone to steal their car by parking it in a public lot."

I disagree with the analogy to an extent. When you are standing across a counter from someone who by default is supposed to be performing a service to you, whether they are paid for it or not, the act of servitude somehow diminishes that person by a degree in their own mind. You are free and they are not. The hat being lain across the counter however gently and carefully , is giving up of your will. However rude it is on their part when someone, however unlawfully ,takes something from you in whatever fashion,they are attempting to relieve some stress within themselves. That's what these sticky fingered clerks are doing. The hat is an easy pick..

If I leave my car in a public parking lot and leave it unattended unlocked and not cared for, I am inviting a somewhat more unruly fragment of society to come along and take it.....no difference..so in that regard your analogy is correct..

You pays your money you takes your chances....

In my mind a hat worn with dignity and pride is a sign post to others that I feel a certain way about my self. Removing it in certain social situations is a way of saying OK I'm giving this part of myself at this moment. Either as a way of respect politeness or kindness.

Folks have their own ways and for their own reasons but as I said before , the lid don't come off for just anyone.....

 

[fatwoul]

...In my mind a hat worn with dignity and pride is a sign post to others that I feel a certain way about my self. Removing it in certain social situations is a way of saying OK I'm giving this part of myself at this moment. Either as a way of respect politeness or kindness...

You make some very interesting points, nulty. Thanks.

I was particularly interested by the bit I quoted above. Personally, I have always preferred to remove my hat when dealing with assistants for the very reason that I am uncomfortable with the who subservience thing, and prefer to deal with a person than a shop uniform. Yes, I am surrendering a symbol of my "superiority" or power (as customer) over that assistant, in an attempt to deal with them as an equal. So my feeling is that they are throwing that gesture back in my face by taking that symbol and immediately adopting it themselves.

That does not contradict what you are saying, but merely explains the powerplay situation from my side of the counter, as the irritated hatwearing customer.

 

[deanglen]

How I feel when someone picks up my hat and puts it on without asking. And they do, often!

dean

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I still think.."Excuse me, I am a bit lost, do you know where the nearest drugstore is, was on my way to fetch some lice shampoo and I must have taken a wrong turn, so came in here to ask where I was"

would be the best

 

[fatwoul]

I still think.."Excuse me, I am a bit lost, do you know where the nearest drugstore is, was on my way to fetch some lice shampoo and I must have taken a wrong turn, so came in here to ask where I was"

would be the best

Haha either that or if they put your hat on, start scratching your head and slapping the imaginary fleas that land on your shoulders.

 

[deanglen]

Take your hat off. Pretend to spit in it, and you'll be fine!

dean

 

[Jovan]

How I feel when someone picks up my hat and puts it on without asking. And they do, often!

dean

Time for the ultraviolence.

This is a fascinating discussion. I'm going to come clean though, I'm not much of a hat wearer. The only hat I own at the moment is a lightweight water repellent wool felt fedora (try saying that ten times fast) that was relatively inexpensive. I wouldn't mind owning a very nice hat though, if I could find one. All the sizing is a tad bit confusing to me, and eBay is... problematic to say the least.

Getting to the point, even though I don't wear hats nearly as much as the rest of you, I will always defend it and respect it.

 

[apipeguy]

Deanglen! funny! this reminds me of the times we didn't want to share our candy or food. We would lick it up then attempt to hand it to them. That usually took away their craving.