Hats in restaurants

[g.durand]

I'm pretty much a hats-off guy when indoors, no matter where I am. In restaurants I put my hat wherever I can find a nearby place for it--an adjacent chair, a chair at an unoccupied adjacent table, on my knee like John Barrow recommends, and sometimes on the floor if that's the last resort and the floor doesn't appear dirty. All the men in my father's family in Texas, and that includes my grandfather, uncles, etc., wore some version of a felt or straw western, and they always took their hats off when indoors. So it is somewhat ingrained in me to do likewise, although as we have discussed here many times there is probably no remaining hat-cultural reason to do so.

Ironically, the only time I have recently worn my hat indoors was during the last holiday season while visiting my family in Texas. My brother and his wife took us to breakfast at a local Mexican cafe. We were the only Anglos there. As we walked in I took off my hat, only to realize the place was small, full of customers and there would be no place for the hat. I tried to keep it on my lap but due to the tight quarters I had a difficult time keeping it there. I looked across the room and saw a gentleman seated at a table, wearing a big, black western hat with about a six inch brim, calmly looking at me as he drank his coffee. My hat went back on my head and I wore it during the entire meal.

 

[GregNYC]

"a gentleman seated at a table, wearing a big, black western hat with about a six inch brim, calmly looking at me as he drank his coffee."

Wonderful story! And a 6-inch brim!

I notice that if I'm wearing a flat cap to the movies, I keep it on in the theater. But fedoras I remove....

 

[g.durand]

Greg--In Texas I think there may be an unwritten rule that you don't disagree with a man who is wearing a hat like that....

 

[Joao Encarnado]

"a gentleman seated at a table, wearing a big, black western hat with about a six inch brim, calmly looking at me as he drank his coffee."

Wonderful story! And a 6-inch brim!

Want one!

 

[LuvMyMan]

Hats in a restaurant whats on the menu? To me being at a place to eat and wearing any hat for me or a Man would depend on a few things...if the place is a Denny's I don't think it would matter, but if it is a nicer place a bit more upscale then wearing the hat may not be suitable to do. Most men that do wear a Fedora are a gentleman and know the appropriate demeanor of wearing a hat and when to take it off and how to "tip" a hat properly. I also think no matter what, each person has to decide what is best and comfortable for YOU the hat wearer to do. It would be simple to know you would not wear a hat that would be in the way of anyone else around you from seeing a Movie or anything on stage...so the hats come off in that respect.

One time Daniel and I both wore Fedora's out and when we walked into a club to dance they asked us to not wear the hats inside...so we simply asked the manager to place our hats in his office, and he was happy to do so for us. The very next time we went there the Manager asked us a lot of questions about our hats and was interested in owning one. He purchased a Borso from Benchcrafts.

No matter what you decide is proper...just enjoy yourself and be comfortable wearing your "stuff"...including your hat!

 

[GregNYC]

GD, I can imagine that calm look. And he's wearing a black hat too. Ulp, I'd put mine on too!

 

[Glenville86]

Remember as a boy, my Grandfather always reminding me to take my hat off in his house and especially at meals. 25-years in the Army kind of reinforced that as well. There are exceptions like non-eating places now that I am a civilian again. I don't normally wear a hat while eating.

 

[g.durand]

Want one!

It would have been a perfect hat for you.

Greg--those were exactly my thoughts.

 

[Joao Encarnado]

It would have been a perfect hat for you.

FEPSA is not helping me...

 

[jkingrph]

One good use for a wide-brimmed Fedora in some restaurants...it nicely blocks my view of the ubiquitous television screens, which I find very distracting from the meal and the conversation. And generally speaking it really helps focus ones gaze upon the person across the table.

If the establishment has TV screens, and usually multiple ones at that, it is not that high of a class place, and I will wear whatever I want. Nicer places are for dining not watching TV. My pet peeve is all the new chain eateries that have no sound deading acoustic qualities and are loud, so with a mild hearing loss I have trouble hearing anything said at my table, it is all a roar. I think they keep the sound level up to try to get people in and out as fast as possible.

 

[tropicalbob]

Edward, odd you mentioned that about hats. I recently read Martin Amis's "London Fields" (from back when he was still funny and before he morphed into Malcolm Muggeridge), and there's a scene where the protagonist's life is going all to hell. He's sitting on a park bench with his hat in his lap thinking things can't get worse, and a woman drops a coin in the hat.

 

[bluesmandan]

I wore a hat today in a burger joint, and didn't think anything of it. There was one other fellow there wearing a hat - an old man in a straw cowboy hat - and he was wearing his, too. When I left, the owner of the restaurant complimented my hat.

Last week, I wore a hat when at the "community cafe" - a lunch for people (mostly seniors) at a local methodist church. I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't in the "church" but it was indoors. Several people said they liked my hat. Then one old lady (whom I know well) said, "Well Pastor Dan I'd like it a lot better if it weren't on your head indoors". I said something like oh yes, that is the way things used to be or something to that effect, and I took it off to oblige her, and held it under the table, til my wife handed our little baby to me, and no longer having my hands free I had to put the hat back on my head.

It is weird... few people wear hats anymore, other than baseball caps, so there's no agreed upon etiquette with them, most people really don't care, but then you'll get a a person here or there that is adamant about the old standards. But there's no hat racks or hat checks available, so what to do...

I don't think there's anything "intrinsically" rude about wearing a hat anywhere. The Bible says a man shouldn't cover his head when he prays or prophecies, but other than that there's nothing "moral" about wearing or not wearing a hat. I suppose we hat wearers are just in an awkward time until some new form of hat etiquette is agreed upon in our culture...

 

[Bob Roberts]

I wore a hat today in a burger joint, and didn't think anything of it. There was one other fellow there wearing a hat - an old man in a straw cowboy hat - and he was wearing his, too. When I left, the owner of the restaurant complimented my hat.

Last week, I wore a hat when at the "community cafe" - a lunch for people (mostly seniors) at a local methodist church. I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't in the "church" but it was indoors. Several people said they liked my hat. Then one old lady (whom I know well) said, "Well Pastor Dan I'd like it a lot better if it weren't on your head indoors". I said something like oh yes, that is the way things used to be or something to that effect, and I took it off to oblige her, and held it under the table, til my wife handed our little baby to me, and no longer having my hands free I had to put the hat back on my head.

It is weird... few people wear hats anymore, other than baseball caps, so there's no agreed upon etiquette with them, most people really don't care, but then you'll get a a person here or there that is adamant about the old standards. But there's no hat racks or hat checks available, so what to do...

I don't think there's anything "intrinsically" rude about wearing a hat anywhere. The Bible says a man shouldn't cover his head when he prays or prophecies, but other than that there's nothing "moral" about wearing or not wearing a hat. I suppose we hat wearers are just in an awkward time until some new form of hat etiquette is agreed upon in our culture...

A hat is part of my ensemble/outfit. It stays on everywhere i go with the exception of church, jail or a funeral wake. Gratefully I dont go to any of these often.

 

[T Jones]

One Lounger here had his hat stolen in a resturant not too long ago, a nice one too. So mine stays on my head.

 

[B1ggles]

A hat is part of my ensemble/outfit. It stays on everywhere i go with the exception of church, jail or a funeral wake. Gratefully I dont go to any of these often.

I don't go to church (well, only as a sightseer, not to a service) but do remove my titfer in the presence of a stiff. Jail is a new one on me, though. Does it depend how long you're in for?

 

[Frunobulax]

After reading through this entire thread, I'd like to weigh in w/ my 2 cents. I'm a recent convert to fedoras, having purchased my first Panama a few years ago and now jumping into the fur felt arena with both feet. Etiquette and being a gentleman have always been important to me, although I feel I don't live up to the ideal as often as I should. In fact, in a way, my hats are reminding me to act as a gentleman.

While not a hat wearer for most of my life (baseball caps mostly, and that's when I played or attended a game), I've always been aware of the general rules of when to don or doff your headgear, and in my world, you always go to great pains to not eat with a hat on (there are rules - this ain't 'Nam!). After looking over the Emily Post etiquette guidelines and the discussion surrounding this, one thing became clear: You follow the rules as long as they make sense. Nobody expects a man on the street with an arm full of packages to doff his hat when encountering a lady - because it doesn't make sense.

So my answer is you try as hard as humanly possible to observe the etiquette as long as it's possible. So if there is really no accommodation at the establishment, and you can't work around your situation, then wear the hat. One set of guidelines stated that, if this is the case, you should wear it at an "appropriately rakish angle" so as to show your displeasure for them not accommodating you. Got a kick out of that.

 

[hatguy1]

One Lounger here had his hat stolen in a resturant not too long ago, a nice one too. So mine stays on my head.

I could understand that. I will take mine off in a restaurant to eat if possible. But that means my lid has to reside beside me somewhere and in a clean spot where it's not at risk of staining, spilling, smashing, crushing and whatnot. But there is NO way I will leave my hat or coat on rack any distance from me where - as happened to the Lounger you mention - someone could swipe them. And I can't afford the quality or quantity (sadly) of most of the fine headwear most Loungers have. But I'm protective of even my less expensive headwear and jacketry (how's that for a cool word - jacketry?)

 

[jkingrph]

I could understand that. I will take mine off in a restaurant to eat if possible. But that means my lid has to reside beside me somewhere and in a clean spot where it's not at risk of staining, spilling, smashing, crushing and whatnot. But there is NO way I will leave my hat or coat on rack any distance from me where - as happened to the Lounger you mention - someone could swipe them. And I can't afford the quality or quantity (sadly) of most of the fine headwear most Loungers have. But I'm protective of even my less expensive headwear and jacketry (how's that for a cool word - jacketry?)

My sentiments exactly, as I have previously posted in other threads along this line. I simply cannot afford to have even one of the lower priced hats such as an Akrubra stolen or damaged, much less one of my custom hats, some into the $600 cost range a few years ago.

If it is just my wife and I at a larger table I will take it off and place on the table or an empty chair at my table. If there is a hat check continuously staffed by restaurant personnel, not accessable by the public, I will turn it over to them, although I must say it has been quite a few years since I have seen one.

 

[LeBois46]

A hat is part of my ensemble/outfit. It stays on everywhere i go with the exception of church, jail or a funeral wake. Gratefully I dont go to any of these often.

One of the reasons that women are "allowed" to keep a hat on is because it is considered "part of her ensemble". In this case the expensive ($1,000+) Panama is part of his ensemble. The lack of secure place to put the hat only adds to the correctness of keeping the hat on the head. BTW, if I do place my hat on the bench or table, I always put my keys with it. You can't go far without keys, but a long ways before remembering the hat.

 

[Ginseng]

Fantastic discussion! So many informative comments and viewpoints. Although I'm not prepared to comment intelligently, I do have a question.

A number of posters have mentioned that they would leave their hats in the car prior to stepping out to the restaurant. A not unusual night out for my friends and I might have all of us driving to meet at a restaurant, then picking up and driving to a bar or cigar lounge. From there, we would all drive home. I don't wear my hats in the car as it interferes with the headrest and by this guidance I can't wear them out. So, generally speaking, does it make sense to leave the hat in the car if there's little to no walking/strolling time or no establishment where one might expect safe harbor for prized and expensive hat? Would it make any sense to even bring a hat along?