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Hats in restaurants

LeBois46

One of the Regulars
Messages
102
Location
Southern California
I wore a hat today in a burger joint, and didn't think anything of it. There was one other fellow there wearing a hat - an old man in a straw cowboy hat - and he was wearing his, too. When I left, the owner of the restaurant complimented my hat.

Last week, I wore a hat when at the "community cafe" - a lunch for people (mostly seniors) at a local methodist church. I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't in the "church" but it was indoors. Several people said they liked my hat. Then one old lady (whom I know well) said, "Well Pastor Dan I'd like it a lot better if it weren't on your head indoors". I said something like oh yes, that is the way things used to be or something to that effect, and I took it off to oblige her, and held it under the table, til my wife handed our little baby to me, and no longer having my hands free I had to put the hat back on my head.

It is weird... few people wear hats anymore, other than baseball caps, so there's no agreed upon etiquette with them, most people really don't care, but then you'll get a a person here or there that is adamant about the old standards. But there's no hat racks or hat checks available, so what to do...

I don't think there's anything "intrinsically" rude about wearing a hat anywhere. The Bible says a man shouldn't cover his head when he prays or prophecies, but other than that there's nothing "moral" about wearing or not wearing a hat. I suppose we hat wearers are just in an awkward time until some new form of hat etiquette is agreed upon in our culture...

Let me see, Christian men, hats off. Jewish men, hats on. When in a religious environment.
 
Messages
12,030
Location
East of Los Angeles
...(there are rules - this ain't 'Nam!)...
A Lebowski reference? Here??? That's wonderful! :eusa_clap

One of the reasons that women are "allowed" to keep a hat on is because it is considered "part of her ensemble"...
Also, historically speaking, women's hats often required any number of pins in order to secure them on the ladies' heads, and it was quite an ordeal for a lady to remove her hat under such circumstances. As such, ladies were allowed the "grace" of not needing to remove their hats. Updates to hat etiquette over time have, however, required ladies to follow the same etiquette as men if they are wearing a hat as casual and easy to remove as, say, a baseball cap that does not require the use of hat pins.
 
Messages
13,676
Location
down south
Fantastic discussion! So many informative comments and viewpoints. Although I'm not prepared to comment intelligently, I do have a question.

A number of posters have mentioned that they would leave their hats in the car prior to stepping out to the restaurant. A not unusual night out for my friends and I might have all of us driving to meet at a restaurant, then picking up and driving to a bar or cigar lounge. From there, we would all drive home. I don't wear my hats in the car as it interferes with the headrest and by this guidance I can't wear them out. So, generally speaking, does it make sense to leave the hat in the car if there's little to no walking/strolling time or no establishment where one might expect safe harbor for prized and expensive hat? Would it make any sense to even bring a hat along?

No.

As to restaurants....if there are shorts, flip flops, or NASCAR and/or Crimson Tide shirts on the premises - hat stays on....
people dressed respectably (and by that I do NOT mean golf shirts and khakis) hat comes off.
 

tropicalbob

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,954
Location
miami, fl
No.

As to restaurants....if there are shorts, flip flops, or NASCAR and/or Crimson Tide shirts on the premises - hat stays on....
people dressed respectably (and by that I do NOT mean golf shirts and khakis) hat comes off.

My practice exactly.
 

Bob Roberts

I'll Lock Up
Messages
11,201
Location
milford ct
I wore a hat today in a burger joint, and didn't think anything of it. There was one other fellow there wearing a hat - an old man in a straw cowboy hat - and he was wearing his, too. When I left, the owner of the restaurant complimented my hat.

Last week, I wore a hat when at the "community cafe" - a lunch for people (mostly seniors) at a local methodist church. I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't in the "church" but it was indoors. Several people said they liked my hat. Then one old lady (whom I know well) said, "Well Pastor Dan I'd like it a lot better if it weren't on your head indoors". I said something like oh yes, that is the way things used to be or something to that effect, and I took it off to oblige her, and held it under the table, til my wife handed our little baby to me, and no longer having my hands free I had to put the hat back on my head.

It is weird... few people wear hats anymore, other than baseball caps, so there's no agreed upon etiquette with them, most people really don't care, but then you'll get a a person here or there that is adamant about the old standards. But there's no hat racks or hat checks available, so what to do...

I don't think there's anything "intrinsically" rude about wearing a hat anywhere. The Bible says a man shouldn't cover his head when he prays or prophecies, but other than that there's nothing "moral" about wearing or not wearing a hat. I suppose we hat wearers are just in an awkward time until some new form of hat etiquette is agreed upon in our culture...
Our time has come. Its a New World everyday. We can define our own individual manner of self expression. "Celebrate Diversity."
 

Genuine Classic Gangster

One of the Regulars
Messages
163
Location
Canada
In my view, nothing whatsoever is wrong with the behavior of the man pictured in the OP.

That looks like an expensive hat.

If he takes it off and something happens to it, who is going to reimburse him for the cost of replacing it?

No one is.

He is going to have to suffer greatly from that significant loss. He will thus have wasted several hundreds - or several thousands - of dollars. Moreover, he may be losing a vintage and/or sentimental item that cannot truly be replaced.

And for what purpose will he endure that kind of loss? Merely to appease some bystanders who misinterpret his hat wearing to be disrespectful, even though most likely he did not intend any disrespect, and so none actually exists.

Respect is a two-way street, but nowadays, restaurants are not willing to give hat wearers their due respect. If hat wearers are expected to take off their hats in restaurants in order to "be respectful," that would be fair if and only if restaurants start to become equally respectful to each hat wearer, by guaranteeing that while he is in the restaurant, should his hat be lost or damaged in any way after he has removed it from his his head, the restaurant will pay 100% of the cost to replace it with a comparable item.

Short of restaurants universally adopting that policy, the unreasonable expectation that a hat wearer should remove his hat in a restaurant is a far more egregious of an act of disrespect towards him than is the supposed disrespect he shows towards a restaurant by wearing his hat in it.
 
Messages
19,465
Location
Funkytown, USA
Had a business lunch at Olive Garden today. In the lobby were two wooden coat/hat racks - just cheapos with wooden dowels on them, but they were there. Since they were in the entranceway I put my hat on the seat next to me rather than use them, but at least they were there.
 

Meterman

New in Town
Messages
12
Location
TN
In a proper restaurant, the hat comes off. As said earlier and by many, in an empty seat, or protected by napkins and under my chair. I also carry one of those rain protectors to further shield my hat when it is on the floor.
 
Messages
10,602
Location
Boston area
So, Saturday evening we attended a wonderful wedding deception, err... reception for the son of one of my college roommates. By all outward signs, a GREAT time was had by ALL.

I thought about ALL of YOU, though, when checking my hat
, but had to request a separate hat check stub. The hat was simply placed on the shelf above my wife's cloak without any ID. The young guy (his second day on the job, and he was already promoted to the role, he told me) was happy to oblige my request, as he was still learning the job.

DSC02022.jpg

I tipped him well...
DSC02023.jpg

Oddly enough, there was a gentleman, no, a guy, not a gentleman, approximately 65 - 70 years of age, who wore his crusty little Walmart sew up into and mostly throughout the reception until he was simply too hot. I wouldn't even speak to such a barbarian...
 
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sebastian czentner

One of the Regulars
Messages
193
Location
Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Regarding etiquette at restaurant, churches and private is hat-off. Last saturday i went to The night of museums in Buenos aires. The two museums near are the memory and malvinas ( the memory is almost an outdoor museum, because most barracks of ex- esma were closed, and with posters explaining which illegal detention group was operating there) .Malvinas is an indoor museum but i left my hat-on only my take my hat off before the photo of Santiago Maldonado. and some NN´S. By the way ive learned that uSA Bombed the Argentine Colony of Malvinas in 1831-1832, debiltating the defenses of the colony and favorising the occupation of the now Falkland by the british. So there were a conflict between USA and Argentina that i didn't know.
Ps: Nn´s are the people kidnaped by the miltars between 1976-1983. And i almost was a nn in 1982 during 2 weeks my family were spied by intelligence agents or no so intelligent because a 9 year old could know that was spied.
 
Last edited:

Daniele Tanto

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,290
Location
Verona - Italia
Oddly enough, there was a gentleman, no, a guy, not a gentleman, approximately 65 - 70 years of age, who wore his nasty little Walmart sew up into and mostly throughout the reception until he was simply too hot. I wouldn't even speak to such a barbarian...
Bravo Carletto, sei un vero signore!
 
Messages
10,602
Location
Boston area
Regarding etiquette at restaurant, churches and private is hat-off. Last saturday i went to The night of museums in Buenos aires. The two museums near are the memory and malvinas ( the memory is almost an outdoor museum, because most barracks of ex- esma were closed, and with posters explaining which illegal detention group was operating there) .Malvinas is an indoor museum but i left my hat-on only my take my hat off before the photo of Santiago Maldonado. and some NN´S. By the way ive learned that uSA Bombed the Argentine Colony of Malvinas in 1831-1832, debiltating the defenses of the colony and favorising the occupation of the now Falkland by the british. So there were a conflict between USA and Argentina that i didn't know.
Ps: Nn´s are the people kidnaped by the miltars between 1976-1983. And i almost was a nn in 1982 during 2 weeks my family were spied by intelligence agents or no so intelligent because a 9 year old could know that was spied.

My mom's best friend was from Buenos Aires!
 
Messages
10,880
Location
vancouver, canada
So, Saturday evening we attended a wonderful wedding deception, err... reception for the son of one of my college roommates. By all outward signs, a GREAT time was had by ALL.

I thought about ALL of YOU, though, when checking my hat
, but had to request a separate hat check stub. The hat was simply placed on the shelf above my wife's cloak without any ID. The young guy (his second day on the job, and he was already promoted to the role, he told me) was happy to oblige my request, as he was still learning the job.

View attachment 92397

I tipped him well...
View attachment 92398

Oddly enough, there was a gentleman, no, a guy, not a gentleman, approximately 65 - 70 years of age, who wore his nasty little Walmart sew up into and mostly throughout the reception until he was simply too hot. I wouldn't even speak to such a barbarian...
My wife and I had a conversation the other day after the wrong umbrella was returned to her by the coat check girl. The coat check girls response to my wife's complaint was.."its an umbrella, whats the big deal?" We then wondered what it was like in the days of the ubiquity of men's hats? How often was the wrong hat returned? Did they ever receive a response such as...."Its a hat, whats the big deal?"
 
Messages
10,602
Location
Boston area
My wife and I had a conversation the other day after the wrong umbrella was returned to her by the coat check girl. The coat check girls response to my wife's complaint was.."its an umbrella, whats the big deal?" We then wondered what it was like in the days of the ubiquity of men's hats? How often was the wrong hat returned? Did they ever receive a response such as...."Its a hat, whats the big deal?"

Indeed NOT! Every hat automatically got its own check ticket back in "the day," but I needed to REQUEST one and instruct the hat check boy where to place the ticket [in the ribbon] on Saturday. I wonder when the next time will be that he'll have the opportunity to use what he learned...
 

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