Gentlemen what is the ideal lady for you?

[LolitaHaze]

The females doth protest too much me thinks..

I wasn't offended... last time I checked... I was indeed a female. lol

Besides... I find myself more female than a lady! Hahahahahaha

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Strange...during my days of dating..I would often find myself with someone completely the opposite of my dream girl..or ideal perfect woman(?). Yet drawn(lured?)to something about her personally that was enchanting or a pleasure to be around. Blond..brunette..tall or short. They say..."opposites attract". Perhaps that can make it more intriguing. A challenge..but..maybe more satisfying when coming together in agreement for the sake of partnership or each other. Rather than assuming or expecting similar values..differing opinions may often offer better chance for involved discussion leading to genuine agreement or compatibility. An understanding for true commitment even after infactuation may lessen. A chance of growing appreciation and dedication for each other even though putting up with each other daily.
My dream girl was a tall tan long legged athletic blue-eyed beach blond...independent...clever...and free spirited.
Mrs. HoosierDaddy is a 5'1"..brunette...big brown eyes...stubborn...intelligent..and very dedicated.
So the ideal lady for me turned out to be quite the opposite as I once imagined. After 30 yrs...We now agree on many important things after I'd won some battles..and so had she. Together we have won many...
HD

 

[MrNewportCustom]

HD. That is why there are no physical characteristics in my description. My tastes run the gamut from your past dream to the dream you're living. I feel it's ludicrous to limit oneself to just one form of pulchritude, as one can never tell how their dream package will be wrapped. Yes, I do have physical preferences, but none are etched in stone.

My list, above, is one of what she will inspire within me, and what we will inspire within each other to build a successful relationship. Will she be my opposite? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.


Lee

 

[just_me]

You can make a wonderful list of qualifications. But when you fall in love, the list is suddenly forgotten. (Of course, you don't have to act on the attraction.)

Very, very true.

 

[Red Diabla]

I SO agree.

'Female' has always had a zoologist, latin named, animal identification stench to me. Romantically, Id like to think that human beings are at least one step past that.

I agree. There are plenty of "females" out in the world these days...they're the type that just me was referring to with the too-tight clothes, etc. that isn't appealing to him or the general FL crowd.

Women and ladies are different from females in their behavior, their outlook on life, their personalities, and the type of partners they're attracted to. That's how I see it, anyway.

I'd have a very unladylike response to someone who called me a female as opposed to a woman.

RD

 

[Not-Bogart13]

"Female" is a very impersonal word, but in times like ours, when every descriptive term seems to bother one party or another, it's hard to know what to say. I don't like it, but there are times when I find myself forced to use the least personal, least categorizing, coldest term for a person or group of people. But in this company, I can least be confident that "lady" is both fitting and welcome.

As for the thread topic; "Ideal" is something that I consider largely unattainable, and when you get down to it, what really matters beyond attraction (which is very subjective), compatibility, dedication, and love that just makes you feel light and warm?

I abandoned my "list" of ideal qualities a long time ago, but here it is anyway. Mainly because, when I wasn't looking, it became spooky in hindsight...
A woman either noticeably shorter or taller than myself, who wears glasses at least sometimes, is not "typically beautiful" (i.e. not a skinny blond supermodel type), speaking with an interesting accent. Dark or red hair. Non-smoker, no drugs. Can accept me with all of my strange ideas and habits. A woman who isn't afraid to need me as much as I need her, but is also very much her own person. A woman with class and good manners, but still down to earth, and who isn't afraid to speak her mind.

 

[Geesie]

I don't think I ever had a "list" of personality characteristics.
I never had a conscious list of physical characteristics either but in retrospect it became very clear that petite brunettes were heavily represented in my dating history. Not that I do not find a host of other 'types' attractive, but yes. Many petite brunettes.

My wife is a petite brunette.

She also has a whole array of wonderful personality characteristics, some of which I would have listed, if pressed, but many others that were pleasant surprises. I think it's better that I discovered the many ways that we are compatible and the many ways I enjoy her company than to have had a checklist.

Though there was one absolute. Must love cats. There is only one answer I would have to "either cats or me."

One item that should have been absolute but some past relationships lacked: fierce independence and spirit. I do not like being with a woman who will not fight me and who cannot fight me as an equal.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Lets see...a Lady...and a woman are truely female...but I learned early on that a female wasn't neccessarily a woman..or a lady...no matter whether they prefer that title or not. A female must mature into a woman...but she is still both. A Lady is a different story altogether.....
However..I think that was before they added itive to sense.
HD

 

[Mike in Seattle]

It's like asking what's the idea hat for someone, the ideal car, ideal house. For everyone, it's going to be different. It's a completely subjective idea with a lot of "I can't explain it definitively, but I just know this..." type of references.

 

[Lady Day]

Lets see...a Lady...and a woman are truely female...but I learned early on that a female wasn't neccessarily a woman..or a lady...no matter whether they prefer that title or not. A female must mature into a woman...but she is still both. A Lady is a different story altogether.....
However..I think that was before they added itive to sense.
HD

As an animal, you are female. As a person, you are a woman. As a title, you are a Lady. As an ideal, you are a dream.

LD

 

["Skeet" McD]

I guess what I'm trying to say is I, at least, find it hard to meet people with similar interests and similar mannerisms as myself.

Dear Incorporeal: I'm 55, and I seem to remember from--perhaps the "young FLers" thread that you are rather younger. I was wearing 3-piece suits, a pocket watch, and a hard straw hat in junior highschool and high school during the later 1960s....so I can speak here with some assurance:

It has ALWAYS been hard to meet people with similar interests....if your interests are unusual. Be true to yourself! In the short run, it may well be hard: you will not have many friends (this will also not change: to quote one of the most important things my father ever told me: "If you have 5 people over the course of your life who are REALLY friends, you are a fortunate man.") There's nothing wrong with acquaintances...but that is something different from a friend. But, the very fact that you DO stick out from the crowd works to your favor in the long run: the people who either are interested in your weirdness and want to know more about it and the people who recognize in you a kindred spirit are immediately obvious. You will not have to waste your time finding out whether someone is worth knowing: that comes with the territory. Quality, in other words, not quantity.

Now, on to the specifics of my case. I have always been a queer duck, and that's usually been pretty obvious . I had a long relationship with a woman who shared my enthusiams for history and living history, music, and many another deeply held interest: we're still in touch and good friends after almost 35 years. But, with all those connections--and her being a charming, intelligent, and funny woman to boot--we never got married.

Then I met my wife. She had NO interests in common with me: she was a scientist with no interest in history; no interest in the kinds of music I am involved with; and a quite different background from me. But THE MOMENT I met her--I knew she was the one for me. We had the opportunity to work together on a daily basis for almost a decade....were friends....but then, one night: literally, time stopped. You read about it: I'm here to tell you that...it's true. A kiss; an avowal of love; 3 months later, engaged; a year and a day later, married. That was 13 years ago. I was 42 when I married (for the first time); she was a bit younger (also the first time). Compatibility: a shared approach to the way one should live one's life; a compatible sense of humor; these are so much more important than the intellectual things we do (although there has to be tolerance, if not participation, regarding those): that's what's important.

Things are much more difficult for those of us with "deviant lifestyles" All I can offer is: don't settle for second best! Wait until you find the RIGHT person...it may be someone COMPLETELY different from what you thought you were looking for: don't worry. You'll know it when you see it.

And this is what it looked like for me:
http://gallery.me.com/finiancircle#100014/K-CWeddingParty

To thine own self, be true!

"Skeet"

 

[Sertsa]

I've never had a list, either, and I have avoided making them. Rather, I just remained open for the certain person who made me stop and go, "Whoa!" (On a similar utterance/expletive that expressed that sudden pounding in my chest, slight dizziness and feeling in the stomach like I just drove over a hill very, very quickly).

The ones that have gotten that reaction have been very different, and I can't imagine the things I would have missed had I used a criteria. If I analyze, the only common thread is that they've all been very intelligent (even if a couple didn't seem to realize that at first) and creative in some aspect.

 

[SuperKawaiiMama]

As an animal, you are female. As a person, you are a woman. As a title, you are a Lady. As an ideal, you are a dream.

LD

Exactly and well put.
The term "female" is not a definitive descriptor and begs the questions, " A female what?" It seems I started a little off topic storm in a tea cup, but my intention was simply to clarify where language may have been an issue, an can offend by its misuse.


As for the topic at hand, I do wonder that if I should have ever pursued someone who met a stringent list of my desired criteria, would I then be up to scratch for them?

 

[Geesie]

Regardless of gender, those of us who are accustomed to military lingo are likely to use "female".

 

[HoosierDaddy]

As an animal, you are female. As a person, you are a woman. As a title, you are a Lady. As an ideal, you are a dream.

LD

I must respectfully disagree to some extent. I know many women who are not a lady except,of course,to themselves. Then some are truely a Lady without any doubt.
HD

 

[Lady Day]

You always have to earn titles HoosierDaddy, and I would consider nothing less with Lady

LD

 

[Marc Chevalier]

As an animal, you are female. As a person, you are a woman. As a title, you are a Lady. As an ideal, you are a dream.

LD

"Horses sweat, men perspire and ladies glisten." lol

.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

"Horses sweat, men perspire and ladies glow." lol

.

get it right...its Glisten....glisten!



p.s. I would rather be called a female for the rest of my existance and get that .25c an hour that I am currently not getting for being female.......

then be called a woman or a lady and keep getting shortchanged where it -actually- matters....

 

[scotrace]

You can make a wonderful list of qualifications. But when you fall in love, the list is suddenly forgotten.

And how. And it's a good thing, otherwise one would miss out. People are placed in our path and it's up to us to recognize when our pre-qual "list" should be ditched to follow the call of fate.

 

[Fedord Spaniard]

i was watchin as this thread grew and there are some really cool posts and very nice stories on here about what ones "ideal lady" would be to each poster. i hope this thread keeps growin as more and more people post thier views about what they would want thier "ideal woman to be in thier life.

now im aware that not all of the ladies/women on this thread or forum were offended at my use of the word "females" in this thread. like most of you understood from my second or maybe even my first post on this thread that my use of the word "females" was misunderstood and that i didnt mean any form of offense or disrespect towards the ladies/women of this thread or ladies/women of this forum.


Now with all due respect towards the women/ladies that were offended by my use of the word "females" in this thread and refuse to squash the big misunderstandin of my use of the word :

some of you are right when you said "female/females" or "female what" that is sounds like we are talkin about an animal. but i thought it would be understood that i was refferin to human females as you see im not into animals and im certain everyone here is also not into animals lol hahahahah.

when i looked in the profile section of this forum for the ladies under gender it didnt read "lady" or "woman" or "human female" it reads "female" so i didnt think while i was creatin this thread that my use of the word "female" would cause any form of controversy or misunderstandin as that was not and is not my intention. that is why i changed my original post from "what is the ideal female for you" to "what is the ideal lady for you" because the last thing i want to do is to offended anyone on this forum or anywhere else in life.

words and speech have alot of power in life, it can persuade people to do good or bad. words can start wars between countries and end wars aswell. this thread is proof of the power words can have if misunderstood or even said. this thread has become very interestin as now instead of one topic we now have two topics ("the ideal lady" and the "do you prefer to be called a lady or woman or female" ) and people seem to have different views on both topics. i hope this thread keeps growin and more people come and post. thank you everyone for listenin.