Funeral wear

[Elaina]

Saturday I went to Mass, instead of my husband's church and I sat behind a woman who was wearing a skirt so short I could tell you what color underwear she had on. Next to her was a boy of about 12 in dirty clothes, and her daughter was wearing a shirt she fell out of 4 times, to which she said "S#$%" and laughed. None of them had on proper shoes, all were wearing flip flops.

My husband and I talked about this then, too. Usually you hope it's the best they can afford, but all of them collectively had more money invested in their clothing then we pay in a month in rent.

My son and I are about to have it out. He wants to wear jeans to mass, and I won't let him. I still cover my head at mass, and he keeps pointing out he's the only kid who doesn't wear jeans to church.

But, you can't help what other people do, all you can do is make you and yours do what you want.

Elaina

 

[Elaina]

The only one I've found is made by this company. And I don't suspect armbands traditionally involved velcro...

I found mine at an estate sale in a box of odds and ends I found. It was in an envelope with the armband, funeral program and the obit. Mine has 2 snaps closing it.

I've also seen older ones with 2 buttons to close it. Small, like the ones seen on children's clothes, or the oxford shirt buttons.

Velcro is just easier to get them on and off. If you need one, let me know and I can copy the one I have and make it for you.

Elaina

 

[Air Boss]

I wear a dark suit, white shirt and tie; my ife wears a dark dress, our boys don't own suits but they wear dark dress slacks, button shirt and shoes.

I believe funerals and wakes are for the living so I don't care what is done after I'm gone. I want any usuable organs harvested and my body donated with a party at a later date. However, it is up to those still alive to decide if there will be a party. I hope there is one with lots of good food, good drink and good friends in attendance. A few well placed hats would be nice as well.

 

[Samsa]

Velcro is just easier to get them on and off. If you need one, let me know and I can copy the one I have and make it for you.

Elaina

Thanks for the offer! I'll probably just haunt estate sales, though, as I've been wanting to look for hats anyway.

 

[Twitch]

I just figure as for proper attire at any event- when in doubt don't. You probably have a good 6th sense about whether someone will be offended by your dress and you should follow your hunch.[huh]

 

[Elaina]

No worries, but if any of you guys wind up in a situation, God forbid, where it's needed, just yell. They don't take but a couple minutes.

Usually if you can find them, they'll be stuck somewhere in boxes where you wouldn't expect, and often hidden in something else you bought.

Elaina

 

[Lincsong]

I'm going on five years as a Catholic, and am still amazed at the clothing people will wear to Mass.

A little off topic, but I remember on Easter Sunday in Florida this blonde mother of three, who lost a LOT of weight after having number 3, 6 months earlier was sitting in the pew in front of me. She was wearing a white linen dress and everyone could see her thong. I couldn't take communion.lol

 

[Cobden]

I was given a rather strange piece of advice, but one that makes a bit of sense: dress similarly to what the deceased is wearing.

i.e. if the deceased is being buried in a black suit and tie, wear that. Morning coat/frock coat, then morning coat/frock coat, etc...

 

[Lincsong]

I've noticed a rather garish trend amongst some people to wear t-shirts with the deceased's picture on it. To me, it appears rather undignified and disrespectful.

 

[Elaina]

Yea I've seen those too.

My sister lost her child right after birth and she has her car as a shrine to him. I see that more then I care to say too.

Heck, my son was named after an uncle who died 16 years ago, and I still cry when he asks about him. I can't imagine wearing or decorating my car as a reminder.

 

[Lincsong]

Mourning and grieving are a natural expression, but when it falls into a pseudo idolotry, that's not right.

 

[Orgetorix]

Mourning and grieving are a natural expression, but when it falls into a pseudo idolotry, that's not right.

I agree. I dislike some traditions that seem like they're trying to deny the reality of death--such as the family of the deceased not seeing the casket closed or lowered into the grave.

I was at the funeral of my fiancee's grandfather yesterday. I wore a gray suit, white shirt, black tie and shoes, and white pocket square. Most of the other men there were at least wearing a coat and tie, though I saw a couple in open-collared dress shirts.

 

[TopHatCat]

I was given a rather strange piece of advice, but one that makes a bit of sense: dress similarly to what the deceased is wearing.

i.e. if the deceased is being buried in a black suit and tie, wear that. Morning coat/frock coat, then morning coat/frock coat, etc...

Makes sense to me, but how would one know what the deceased is wearing if you weren't already at the wake/funeral?

 

[Willi_Goat]

If it is a military funeral I will wear my service dress, Class A, uniform. Otherwise it is usually a black suit I had made while deployed to Turkey, most of the time with a white shirt and black tie.

 

[jake_fink]

Baron Kurtz and others I think were right on when they suggested you wear what is appropriate in the circumstances (clown wedding, etc.).

I've had to attend far too many funerals in my life. I'm still a young man but I've buried four of my friends already. Here's the rule I've gone by, though I don't know where I came across it (possibly my father... though I don't know):

If you don't know what will be appropriate then wear a solid suit in a dark colour and a dark tie, also preferably solid. You should wear a minimum of bling, and nothing loud or bright. If you are a member of the family or a pall bearer you will probably wear black.

Seems like common sense to me. I can't see anyone on these boards showing up at a funeral in shorts and flip flops (unless that's appropriate, say if the deceased was a Dead Head).