Funeral wear

[Lincsong]

I too am very disappointed by the dress at funerals today. Here in California people come dressed in anything they have on sometimes. Most of my family funerals are attended by 100 plus people so I tend to notice the different styles of dress. I don't have a black suit, but I have two navy blue suits and a black herringbone jacket. I'll wear those to funerals. Definetely don't wear athletic logo's; ie Raiders silver and black.lol Although in the funeral of my parents friend they buried him in his 49ers jacket.

 

[Miss Crisplock]

Isn't it odd that the predomintate color is worn in society is black, yet so many can't find that color in their wardrobe when attending a funeral?


I wear a black dress (have had to purchase a few - out of town, etc.), black hat (no ornamentation but some have a flat bow or veil), plain black pumps (never patent leather) and little or no jewelry, and that plain as is possible. Natural or dark hose. No watch, as it is a social as opposed to business occasion.

Friends and family are under strict instructions that in the event of my demise, under NO circumstances will there be a "celebration of life" in any form. If someone could manage the nashing of teeth or rending of clothes, or even a small bit of wailing, it would be a comfort. Any clergy attempting to "celebrate" are welcome to join me.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

If someone could manage the nashing of teeth or rending of clothes, or even a small bit of wailing, it would be a comfort.

Good luck convincing your relatives to jump into your tomb and be buried alive with you. Ah yes, the good old days of god-kings and queens ...


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[Miss Crisplock]

No, not jumping in with me. But I've suffered through enough "celebrations" that if someone where to nudge a smarmy speaker into a muddy "experience" it wouldn't come amiss.

 

[Viola]

No, not jumping in with me. But I've suffered through enough "celebrations" that if someone where to nudge a smarmy speaker into a muddy "experience" it wouldn't come amiss.

What kind of celebrations are we talking about? Sitting around the mourners' house after the funeral eating? Or something creepier?

 

[Marc Chevalier]

You haven't lived (or died) until you've attended a true-blue Irish wake. Trust me; I'm still recovering from the hangover.:eusa_doh:

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[Viola]

You haven't lived (or died) until you've attended a true-blue Irish wake. Trust me; I'm still recovering from the hangover.:eusa_doh:

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I believe my great-aunt was utterly horrified at the idea of anyone drinking anything at my grandmother's shiva. The four people involved with the creation and consumption of Cosmopolitans (limit about two per head) took them out to the porch.

Shivas are for eating off of deli trays, not drinking.

 

[Miss Crisplock]

Had a wake for my Uncle Pat. Splendid. Sing songs, tell lies, drink whiskey, remember the deceased. Couple of days. Rosary one night, Mass the next, Funeral on the third. Tears, and smiles. Oh, God, I still miss him and am tearing up at work. A little fuzzy on the particulars, but it was a lovely send off, and no new-age hocus-pocus.

 

[Matthew Dalton]

I'm not sure on the particulars of how I'd like my send off, but I don't think it'd be too traditional. It's my big day and I want to have some fun with it.

 

[Nashoba]

When my father-in-law died last year I wore a tailored black dress. Come to think of it I think I've that same dress to every funeral I've been too in the last couple of years. I normally have a few pieces that I've been asked to sing so I try to stay in the black /grey range to be respectful. At my father in law's funeral like some of the rest of y'all I saw a wide range of clothing, some of it tasteful some of it not quite so tasteful. My husband had it easy, he wore his Dress Blue Alphas. His father was a Navy Vet and it was important to my mother in law to see her son in his best uniform, since he followed in his father's footsteps into the military.
Nashoba

 

[Elaina]

I don't care, I'll be dead.

My husband can't do it if I die, and with a recent illness I had to be prepared (because I'm supposed to be dead some 6 months now).

My will is really simple. My son gets letters over the course of his life that I would have been there for, property is held until he turns 25, some financial property is held until he is 39, hubby gets the rest. Because of religious differences in my family (My side is Catholic, my husband is Orthodox) there is to be no religion in it AT ALL, and I'm getting cremated, with my ashes becoming property of a friend of mine who can do whatever she wants. No send off, no eulogy, just a quick trip to the coffee house where a cup is dumped in my ashes so I can enjoy one last cup. Between kid and husband, I don't think either can handle a funeral.

But, because of the family, if I die and they force a funeral, my son is to wear his favorite Hawaiian shirt. Then they are to take him to Chuck E. Cheese and give him a party.

Elaina

 

[Lincsong]

What kind of celebrations are we talking about? Sitting around the mourners' house after the funeral eating? Or something creepier?

I've been to numerous funerals over the past 30 years, since I was about 6 or 7 and I've seen them all; women screaming and whaling, throwing themselves on the casket, people sitting in the mortuary talking and laughing as though it was a family reunion, the deceased lieing in the casket with a rosary wrapped around his hands and cigars on his chest. I've seen dramatic eulogies given by relatives that hit you like a splash of cold water and others where I've been slapped in the back of the head for snickering.

Where are the New Orleans Loungers here? Don't they strike up the band at funerals?

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Where are the New Orleans Loungers here? Don't they strike up the band at funerals?

They're drowned, displaced, or fighting with insurance companies and city hall. Lots of funerals, but the musical instruments have been washed away.

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[Legal Concepts]

Isn't it odd that the predomintate color is worn in society is black, yet so many can't find that color in their wardrobe when attending a funeral?

You know your dressing in too much black when people start calling you "Father"lol

 

[Miss Crisplock]

Ah, I think the Gentlemen discussing ties might be able help you there....

 

[Samsa]

Does anyone know where I could purchase a traditional black armband? I don't have a funeral to go to (thank God), but imagine I will have to attend another one before I die.

The only one I've found is made by this company. And I don't suspect armbands traditionally involved velcro...

The only thing I could find on Ebay was a band made by the company mentioned above.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I recently saw an eBay auction for funeral hatbands (1930s) that you could slip onto the crown ...

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[Matthew Dalton]

I recently saw an eBay auction for funeral hatbands (1930s) that you could slip onto the crown ...

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I bid on those I think, or at least something similar. I let someone else beat me though, as they were really something I didn't need.

 

[MrBern]

I was at a Polish funeral once.
Everyone was wearing black shirts w/ their suits.
I was unaware of the tradition, otherwise I wouldve too.

Another time, we were at a Catholic First Communion service. Most of the kids were dressed accordingly, altho sometimes they wore sneakers instead of black shoes. I was disappointed to see that many of the parents showed up in jeans&t-shirts. One mom was wearing a black bra under her white blouse. That seemed a bit disrespectful in a church, but she was a nice person & perhaps overwhelmed in prepping her kid & hosting her large family.

 

[Samsa]

Another time, we were at a Catholic First Communion service. Most of the kids were dressed accordingly, altho sometimes they wore sneakers instead of black shoes. I was disappointed to see that many of the parents showed up in jeans&t-shirts. One mom was wearing a black bra under her white blouse. That seemed a bit disrespectful in a church, but she was a nice person & perhaps overwhelmed in prepping her kid & hosting her large family.

I'm going on five years as a Catholic, and am still amazed at the clothing people will wear to Mass.