First Dates

[DoolittleRaider]

Maybe I'm just special... I will always step in when I see a lady in an uncomfortable situation. Maybe you just need more Texans in Canadia.

(I'm sure Doolittle would volunteer.)

you are totally right Justin, i would volunteer in a New York Minute as my mother says

i have stepped in some situations, and other times no. i pick my battles, but if i can tell that a lady is uncomfortable, ill politely say is everything going ok over here? and usually the chap is aggrevated because ive butted in and then it becomes a situation like HoosierDaddy pointed out.

most of the time its quite interesting, ill play the part of the bf to get the girl out of that situation and the guy walks away. then i buy the girl a drink for her troubles and they say thank you.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

That can become a somewhat 'sticky' situation....in certain cases.
I remember a long time ago coming to the aide (I thought) of a young lady with her ex boyfriend. He had started screaming at her(I didn't know who he was)...and then forcefully pulled her out of a booth. I confronted him and he became agressive with me. Ending it quickly..he was out on the floor. Next thing I knew..the ex girlfriend was on my back kicking..hitting..and trying to pull my hair out. When the cops arrived she pleaded that it was all my fault..and I had no 'right' to step in. If it wasn't finally for the other patrons I would have been hauled away in the paddy wagon for sure. Sizing up those kind of confrontations can certainly be dangerous in any setting. The cops aren't even always eager to get involved.

I think you did the right thing...but for the wrong people...but no matter what, it was the right thing to do.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Yes...Guys can be morons....(so can gals)....but that is the point of it all, to find someone good...and have that "first date"!

 

[Chas]

Back to topic.

I think a movie is a bad idea. Conversation nearly impossible.

 

[Pompidou]

Back to topic.

I think a movie is a bad idea. Conversation nearly impossible.

Definitely- at least as the only thing. If I get total say in the first date planning, I usually do a marathon of sorts. Grab a coffee or two, go and do something, like a walk or bowling or something, dinner, a movie, and close out at a bar with enough drinks to make even a bad date start to look good. The logic: I'm shy at first, so an early activity prevents the first conversation from being a job interview of sorts (I hate those), after we've warmed up, a dinner conversation is actually fun, and we don't end up sitting opposed, but diagonal, which is better. After that, I want to cuddle around a movie, and finally, beer is great stuff, and what night is complete without it? If a date ends with anything less than a sincere hug, I don't call back.

 

[lolly_loisides]

Back to topic.

I think a movie is a bad idea. Conversation nearly impossible.

Well you won't have a chat during the movie, but a discussion of the movie afterwards over a meal is nice thing to do.

 

[Chas]

Well, if it's a really crappy movie and she starts mocking it 10 minutes in, she will most definitely be asked for a second date.

Clearly audible snorts of derisive laughter aimed at ridiculous plot lines, bad acting and screenwriting, followed by a suggestion to ditch the movie and go catch a good band will probably win a marriage proposal.

Not until the 4th date, of course.

 

[Chas]

Well, I don't want to look too eager.

 

[Tomasso]

I've always preferred a weekend lunch for the first date. They're shorter affairs where you can size each other up without committing the time and resources required for a full blown Saturday date night. If you hit it off you can always extend the date into the afternoon (or longer) but if it's a nightmare.......well that relative in the hospital needs cheering up. I have a friend whose first date invitations were for an after work drink; sometimes one drink turned into several and dinner but other times he was hightailing it in less than a half hour.

 

[Travis Lee Johnston]

Yes, or the *I have diarrhea* excuse if you really don't want to hear from them again.

A pretty good sign she's not into you is when she doesn't look at you when you guys are talking. Maybe that goes without saying. Eye contact is important. Though there's that fine line between staring creepily at them and looking them in the eye, but it shouldn't be a problem.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Back to topic.

I think a movie is a bad idea. Conversation nearly impossible.

I agree...but back in the day when the drive in movie places were open, that was "back seat" commando territory!

 

[LoveMyHats2]

I recall asking a Gal out for a date, I was maybe 26 years old? Her Sister had some conversation with me, when I went to pick up my date....the Sister said, "well, I think you are going to have a great time this evening as my Lil Sister just put the silk sheets on her bed"!:eeek::eusa_clap

 

[bellaclaire]

:eusa_doh: Only dates i get these days are those my bills need to be paid by!!!![huh]

 

[Black Dahlia]

These days it seems a formal date is avoided. I often get asked 'would you like to go for coffee sometime?' Is that the safe way to ask for a date, because it doesn't really seem like a date?
X
BD

 

[Tomasso]

I often get asked 'would you like to go for coffee sometime?' Is that the safe way to ask for a date, because it doesn't really seem like a date?

It's all part of a master plan.

 

[Black Dahlia]

It's all part of a master plan.

*LOL* I had no clue that a master plan was in action! You've just let the cat out of the bag, now us women will know....

"Keeping this first date short ensures you have the highest chance of meeting this woman again for a second date." Ha ha, yes...perhaps the woman couldn't stand him for any longer....

"Experts with women do not approach any dates with women without structure and purpose." Sounds like a business proposal or a battle plan!

X
BD

 

[1961MJS]

I agree...but back in the day when the drive in movie places were open, that was "back seat" commando territory!

Hi

We had a drive-in theater in the next town and a lot of people from my high school went there. No Back Seat Commando work there at all. To many of us. We basically took up the back two rows on one side of the parking lot, pulled the pickup trucks in backwards, got the lawn chairs out and had a party. IFFFF you were silly enough to park somewhere else, you were guaranteed to have a steady stream of alumni trekking back and forth to see you interrupting any romantic plans you had.

We DID get in a lot of conversation though, I know there was a movie on, but I don't remember seeing any of them.

Later

 

[Undertow]

...Eye contact is important. Though there's that fine line between staring creepily at them and looking them in the eye, but it shouldn't be a problem.

Unfortunately, I have all sorts of whacky issues with this. Either I'm staring right into your soul, or I'm avoiding all eye contact. I have my reasons, but none of them are as simple as, "I'm some crazy/unconfident guy; run away." If that was the case, I'd just come out and say it.

Luckily, I seem to get through to the ones that count.

 

[Tomasso]

*LOL* I had no clue that a master plan was in action! You've just let the cat out of the bag, now us women will know....

Well, I hope it's of some help to you poor guileless creatures.

 

[Black Dahlia]

Well, I hope it's of some help to you poor guileless creatures.

Oh dear.....now that is amusing! Surely I could master the art of approaching men...given lots of direction and practice! ;0
X
BD